Kyungsoo didn't dare to kiss Jongin any more than to gently, with unimaginable softness and carefulness in every single of his movements, press his lips onto the other's. He didn't know if Jongin even wanted that kiss. So therefore he tried to hold back from making it too passionate as much as he could.

But he, Kyungsoo himself, wanted and needed to kiss him. Even that one soft kiss, more of a peck than an actual kiss, was like a gulp of so much needed air, like the first breath you take after being underwater for too long - that relieving, unique and so right to finally take. It feels as if your whole body was waiting, thirsting for it, and then finally, finally gets it. That was exactly how this kiss, five years in progress of happening, felt at that particular moment.

Kyungsoo didn't want to pull away from the bliss of feeling Jongin's lips against his, tasting the familiar and longed sweetness. He wished he could stop the time on this moment, and keep it happening over and over again, forever. But he had to pull away. Jongin was standing stunned in front of him, unmoving. He was completely frozen in his spot, and that couldn't be a good sign.

So Kyungsoo let his heels touch the ground softly, as he didn't need to stand on his tippy toes anymore when he wasn't reaching out for the taller, and took a step back from Jongin, pulling away from the kiss. Jongin stood there, pressed up against the wall of his hallway, and looked at Kyungsoo with his widened chocolate eyes. 

He was blinking like a surprised puppy, and God, Kyungsoo was having a hard time holding himself back from throwing his care for Jongin's consent out the window, and smashing their lips together again in a kiss way more passionate that the one before. 

"W-What was that?" Jongin asked him, eyes wide as saucers, and so damn cute. Unbearably.

Ugh. 

"A kiss?" Kyungsoo tilted his head, letting his heart shaped lips form a little smirk as he watched the surprise in the taller's face. "You've had a fair share of those to be able to tell that yourself, Jongin ah. Haven't you?"

As Kyungsoo expected, Jongin's cheeks turned tomato red at that sentence, and he looked away from him, embarassed by the shorter's straightforwardness. That, needless to say, amused Kyungsoo greatly.

He really did miss Jongin so freaking much.

"Come back inside," the shorter male asked the other gently, affection and tenderness taking over his heart as he stared at him. "Come back in and then let's talk. We have loads to talk about."

To emphasize his words, a bit hesitantly and shyly, Kyungsoo reached out his hand for Jongin to take. He hoped he would take it, though he had doubts he would.

Jongin looked at his outreached hand, and seconds later, Kyungsoo found his small and pale palm being embraced into warmth by a tanned and significantly wider one. Jongin took his hand gently, and let Kyungsoo hold onto it, lead him back to the living room. Back inside.

Kyungsoo couldn't hold back the joy at the back of his heart, the joy that Jongin didn't reject him and was willing to talk to him. If he was in his place, he would've probably gotten mad about it, and wouldn't agree to see Jongin ever again. But Jongin loved him, he loved Kyungsoo so much, and most probably that was why he didn't. All he ever cared about was making Kyungsoo happy. Even if it hurt him in the process.

Kyungsoo was way more selfish than Jongin was. He knew it. But he was willing to change, if only that meant he and Jongin could finally be together, without any pain in between them.

"Can I ask of you to stay silent and listen to what I want to say?" the owl-eyed male asked, when the two of them settled on the couch, distance still small and hands clasped together. "Can I hope you won't interrupt?"

Jongin pouted at him.

"I'll try to," he told Kyungsoo, and the smaller could tell that he was suspicious. Very suspicious of what Kyungsoo was about to say. He probably will interrupt anyway.

"Fine," Kyungsoo agreed, knowing that he had no other choice. "First of all, I know you don't want me to apologi- oh shut up, Jongin - to apologize, but I want to do it. I need it. I feel really bad for everything that I've said, and done, so just let me get it off of my chest, okay?"

Although he didn't look pleased, Jongin slowly nodded.

"Thanks," Kyungsoo squeezed Jongin's hand tighter. "I really am sorry for what I said to you, Jongin ah. Both when we first met at PKO, and after. I was so damn certain, that the things those people said were true. I thought that it all made sense. And yes, don't look at me like that, I know it did, they made it to seem that way, but I still should have trusted you more than I did. I should have heard you out before running away, and I'm sorry, Jongin. I was just a coward, and too afraid of hearing you say those awful things with you own lips, so I just chose to leave before you do."

Jongin was about to say something, but Kyungsoo stopped him, pressing his finger to the plump lips. 

"Wait," he smiled softly, tenderness evident in the owl-like eyes. "I want to tell you something else. Even though I said all that, I want you to know, that in the end most of it were nothing but lies.

"I dreamed of you countless times, you know," Kyungsoo confessed, shifting his gaze to their intertwined hands. "And most of those dreams were sweet and full of love. They were the longing ones. And even though I didn't want to admit it, but I loved those dreams, I loved falling asleep just because of a miniature hope I might see you in my dream again. I told myself to stop thinking that, to get myself together and hate you, but I never managed. You were, and are, too deeply seated in my heart, Jongin ah."

Jongin opened his mouth, just to be shut up again. 

"I'm not finished yet, impatient one. I guess what I'm trying to say here is," Kyungsoo breathed in deeply. "That I never stopped loving you, too. My mind could have  wanted to hate you as strongly as it could, but I myself never was able to in the end. I loved, and still love you simply too much. And running away from you and trying to hate you was unimaginably exhausting."

Jongin pulled Kyungsoo into another hug, and the smaller without a moment of doubt returned it, slipping his arms around the other's waist. 

"All that's left now is your decision, Jongin ah," Kyungsoo whispered into Jongin's neck, and held his breath.

This was the moment. If Jongin decided to forgive and take him back, they could make it work. Kyungsoo would try his hardest to make up for the things he had done wrong. He would try to mend what was broken. But if Jongin decided not to continue this, because it was going to be hard (Kyungsoo knew it was), Kyungsoo knew he will let him do what he wants.

Even if that meant letting Jongin go, and breaking his own heart to bits and pieces, losing everything that mattered and that was now in his arms. But for this once, Kyungsoo wanted to be the more selfless one, and the one who does the right thing even if it hurts.

"You're so stupid, Kyungsoo," Jongin murmured into his hair, lips touching the tip of his forehead lightly as he spoke. "You don't even listen to what I say. I never thought you are guilty of anything."

"But I am," Kyungsoo pulled away to look into his eyes, trying to convey the emotions he was feeling. "I am guilty, it's just that you're not admitting it. Ever since high school you regarded me as some piece of perfection, Jongin ah. You didn't admit I made a mistake when I didn't do well in a test, you said the teacher was in a bad mood and messed up my grade. You pushed Luhan and Chanyeol away, and spend less time with your friends because you constantly said you wanted to be with me, because I made you happier. That's amazing, Jongin, it is to me,and it does make me feel happy, but it's not true and not fair, and more so when it's not always going to be that way. I'm not perfect, and one day you will see it."

"I don't see the problem, Kyungsoo," Jongin frowned, pulling away from him slightly. "So what if I think you're perfect? Is it wrong to love someone that much to love every little thing about them, even their quirks and so called mistakes?"

"Loving it is one thing, but denying them is another," Kyungsoo shook his head. "You have to understand, Jongin, that a serious relationship does not stand on adoring and pretending not to see flaws in the other. It simply won't last long, because you will get tired of that. Tired of acting it's all fine, and then you will, yes, you will, explode at me, and we will both part ways more broken than we even are now. That's not what I want from this, and that's why I insisted to give my apology. And that's why I'm asking of you to decide for good. Are you ready to be with me, even though I'm selfish, and I broke your heart to pieces, or do you want to let me - this - go for good?"

Jongin looked at him for a second, and Kyungsoo could feel his heart beating in his chest fast. He was anxious of the answer that he was going to get, he almost didn't want to hear it, but he knew that what he said was right. He didn't want to hurt them both more than they already were.

"Yes, Kyungsoo," Jongin finally answered, chocolate eyes glued to the owl-like ones. "I understand. And I accept. You're not perfect."

Kyungsoo bit his lips, scared of what he was going to hear next. What if he convinced Jongin to dump him after all? That would hurt so much, he didn't want to even think about it. Moving on, living with it, getting through - all of soothing words for being left by someone, now sounded like damn cursewords.

"But," Jongin continued, interrupting Kyungsoo's thoughts. "You are also the person I love the most in this world. You're the only one I see like this. And I don't want to spend even another day, another minute of being apart from you, you stupid Do Kyungsoo. Even if you slap and yell at me everyday, get moody, and throw your kimchi spaghetti at my face, I'd still pick you over anyone else. That's all I can say."

He said it and he stopped talking. Completely serious.

Kyungsoo could feel blood running up to his cheeks and making them bright pink.

"I wouldn't throw food at you. That's too much."

"I somehow still think you would."

"Shut up, you ," Kyungsoo couldn't help but laugh at him, his heart relishing at the feeling of laughing with Jongin again. "So...where does this leave us now?"

Jongin opened his arms, wanting to get him back to his arms, adorable chocolate eyes sparkly and expectant.

"In love," he said, and grinned. 

Letting out a chuckle, Kyungsoo willingly let Jongin pull him into his arms once again, and hugged him back.

"Jongin ah," Kyungsoo called out to him after a minute. "Will you be going home today?"

"What would you possibly mean by that?" Jongin turned his neck to look into Kyungsoo's eyes, slightly startled. He was clearly surprised by Kyungsoo's proposal.

"Stop thinking... things," Kyungsoo warned immediately, noticing the strange sparkle in the other's eyes. "I was just thinking, you know... I miss you. You could stay here. We could talk. Like a sleepover. If you want."

"That's a lot of sentences," Jongin chuckled. "Well, it's Friday, and we don't have work tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"I think I'm in."

***

Chanyeol was having a mental breakdown.

At 7 AM.

It's been eleven hours since he asked Baekhyun out. It was a Saturday morning. The date of the date was today. And Chanyeol was there in his bed, freaking out.

He woke up with cold sweat, tangled in his blankets, suddenly realizing what he had done eleven hours ago. He had asked Baekhyun, the beautiful, funny, kind Baekhyun out, and they were going on a date. Baekhyun agreed to go on a date with him. .    

 And he, Park Chanyeol, has no idea what he will wear, how will he style his hair, and even where he will go with Baekhyun. And Park Chanyeol only has barely twelve hours to figure all of that out.

And what does he do? He sleeps!

Chanyeol jumped up from his bed, instantly taking a huge dive towards his wardrobe and ripping its door open with all of his strength. Npw before him, hung his suits. Nothing but his suits, and some comfy things to wear at home. 

He officially had nothing to wear.

After letting out a frustrated groan, the tall male jumped towards the bedside table to grab his phone, and quickly dialed his best friend's number. Jongin was a stylish guy. He would certainly know how to save him. 

The phone beeped for exactly five times, till a sleepy and muffled sound of Jongin's voice could be heard from the other end.

"Y-Yeollie? What's wr--"

"Jongin ah, I need you help," Chanyeol whined to the phone before the other even finished saying that. "I'm in trouble."

"What happened?" Jongin instantly asked, sounding alarmed. All the sleepiness seemed to have gone away as soon as trouble was mentioned. "Are you okay? Where are you?"

"I'm home, I'm okay--"

"Are you sure?!"

"Jongin, could you please do your 7AM phone calls somewhere else?" Chanyeol heard a certain someone groan, and his eyes almost bulged out of their sockets.

"You're with Kyungsoo?"

"I'll explain that later," Jongin answered him, a bit shyly, and for a second all Chanyeol heard was some blankets shuffling and Jongin's muffled footsteps. Then they stopped. "Now tell me what's happened."

Chanyeol still couldn't get over the fact Jongin was sleeping with Kyungsoo, but since the other promised to explain later and he himself had a very big problem at that particular moment, he let it go for a while. 

"I asked Baekhyun out," he confessed to the phone, the tips or his ears getting red and his voice turning a bit silent because of shyness. "And Baekhyun said yes."

There was nothing but silence on the other end.

"Jongin ah?"

"Yes."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Jongin answered, though Chanyeol could hear some unnatural tone in his voice. " You're going on a date with Baekhyun."

"Yeah," Chanyeol blushed. "But I have absolutely nothing to wear. And I don't know where to take him. And what to do with my hair, and shoes and--"

"Yeollie, Yeollie," Jongin stopped him from rambling. "Breathe. Don't panic. It's just a date."

"Sorry."

"That's okay," Jongin chuckled. "Do you want me to meet you somewhere? Help you get some clothes? A bit later, though."

"Yeah, if you could, I'd be thankful," Chanyeol bit his lip. "And I'm sorry for waking you up."

"It's not a big deal. See you at 12, at the mall beside your place? The one we went to eat on Christmas last year?"

"Okay," Chanyeol sighed. "Thanks, Jongin ah."

"No problem, Yeollie."

Chanyeol hung up, feeling relatively better. Now that he had Jongin to help him, he could feel calmer. 

As he took his shower and did other usual things, Chanyeol was thinking. Jongin and Kyungsoo most probably got together again. Otherwise, why would they be sleeping at the same place? Most probably they got their problems sorted, and although Chanyeol really wanted to feel happy for them both, he couldn't help but feel a little worried about Jongin.

He'd seen it all, the way Jongin got through these five years after Kyungsoo had left him. And it was horror. Chanyeol had spent all that time con