No matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise, Jongin was definetely not doing well. He wasn't doing well at all.

It’s been days since Jongin had last left his apartment, three days and still counting more to come. If they were meant for resting, a small holiday, or a leave from work due to cure some sudden November ending's cold, it would have been fine. But, sadly, they weren't. The reasons behind Jongin's retreat were a bit more serious and darker, than a lack of rest, or a stupid winter cold 

 Jongin had spent all of those days lying in his bed, and almost not moving from the fallback of his blankets. He only left them when he needed to visit the bathroom, or take a quick shower. Neither throughout all that time he had the appetite to swallow even one bite of food, or drink anything in order to keep himself hydrated. Tired and already indifferent towards everything concerning him and his health, Jongin couldn’t and didn't even want to look at food. The thought itself of putting something into his mouth just made him feel sick to his stomach. 

And that's how those three days turned into three days of constant laying in the bed, poor nutrition and numerous dark thoughts, swirling in his head. It was irresponsible, childish and stupid to give in to despair and sadness like this, but Jongin no longer cared for that. He just wanted to torture himself for something, of which reasons he himself didn't really know. He just did.

And of course, when he finally heavily rose from his bed on the third day, and heavily lumbered to his bathroom, the first thing Jongin noticed in the mirror was how badly starvation and restlessness had affected him throughout this time. He really looked like a dead body, or someone severely sick. The way his bones were protruding unhealthily much under the pale and dry skin, indicated just how weak and tortured his body became in this short time. It was a terrible sight, really. Not to mention, that Jongin couldn't even take a step forward without feeling like he's about to fall down and faint. Hiis body was just giving up on moving or doing anything alltogether. It just could no longer cope with Jongin, and his pain. 

Kyungsoo would have killed me for this, Jongin solemnly thought, staring at his depressing reflection. He really would have killed me. 

Jongin looked at his much paler than usual skin, and then averted his look to the unhealthy looking eyebags. Staring at the result of what he had turned himself into, the male couldn’t help but feel like crying. Everything now just started to look so insolvable and hopeless.

Nobody believed him. He knew he saw Kyungsoo, he could swear he did. But Chanyeol and Baekhyun didn't believe him, and Kyungsoo didn't come closer to them either. He just left, without saying anything. And he, Jongin, was left there with Chanyeol, who looked at him as if he was finally turning into a real psycho, and Baekhyun, who just looked so sorry. And not the usual, friendly kind of sorry, either. The pitying one, the one you look at a sick person with.

Shaking those thoughts away, Jongin ruffled his hair, and grabbed a toothbrush from the shelve above the sink. Enough self-pity, he thought angrily to himself, and squirted some toothpaste onto the toothbrush. 

He should rather do something, than sit here and cry for himself, and his misery.

He can find Kyungsoo, and he can prove he was there that night. All Jongin needs is to put in an effort.

As Jongin was scouring his teeth with the toothbrush impatiently and almost violently, he heard his phone ringing barely audibly back in the bedroom. He spat out the minty foam, rinsed his mouth quickly with some warm water, and trampled back to the room to answer the call. He had been ignoring calls for a while now.

“Yes?”

***

Kyungsoo hadn’t changed much throughout those years.

That was the only thought Chanyeol had in his mind when he saw him, standing there. No thoughts about hugging him, talking to him, or even asking questions. Just that one thought, how little Kyungsoo had changed.

He, Do Kyungsoo, was still on the shorter side, just like Chanyeol remembered him to be. The big-eyed male hadn’t grown a single inch in five years. It wasn't that unexpected, since Chanyeol knew him when he was already a young adult, not a growing boy, but still, he found it somehow surprising and a bit strange. As if, just because the outlook on him Chanyeol had changed completely, Kyungsoo's appeareance should have made a 180 degrees change, too.

But that wasn't the case.

Kyungsoo was still a bit (well, very) pale, and still as small framed as ever. Narrow shoulders, narrow chest, small face he had; whole Do Kyungsoo was unbelievably small for a guy, and honestly looked too fragile and petite to be a male of his age. He also still had the same beautiful, dark brown eyes Chanyeol clearly remembered from the past, huge and eye-catching as ever. Actually, Chanyeol never knew anyone with eyes bigger than the smaller male's, neither in the past nor now, in the company. They were the most memorable feature of Kyungsoo's face, and he knew Jongin loved them. He would never shut up about how beautiful Kyungsoo's eyes were, and how puppy-like they seemed, even when Chanyeol had already heard every single adjective, used to describe Do Kyungsoo's eyes for a thousand times. And if Jongin loved someone or something that much, Chanyeol wasn't able to forget it. Ever. He was his best friend, afterall. 

Those were the things about the smaller male, that Chanyeol knew, the things that he remembered, and that he was still familiar with. But not everything was still the same.

There were changes in the new, different, unfamiliar Do Kyungsoo, who now stood before him, and looked back at Chanyeol with those owl eyes.

Firstly, the business suit. The small Kyungsoo looked so unfamiliar with that on, like a totally different person. The black pants and jacket, which hugged Kyungsoo's form as if it was painted on him, and most of all, those shinning dress shoes - everything about that attire was just so not Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo Chanyeol knew liked simple and mostly loose clothing. He considered tight jeans a crime back in highschool, and now, seeing him wear tight dress pants was just indescribably weird.

 Then, there was the look in his eyes. Cold, unreadable and utterly emotionless.

He wasn't like that, when he was dating Jongin. He wasn't like that at all. Chanyeol now couldn't see even a single thing in the darkness of Kyungsoo's orbs, and in the past he could see litterally everything. What Kyungsoo thought, what he felt at that particular moment. But now, Kyungsoo's eyes were shut off, darker than the night and emptier than one. Different.

Suddenly, something clicked in Chanyeol’s thoughts. His lips shivered.

Jongin.

“You were here.” he heard himself utter the dreadful words.

He was right.

"You were here a few days ago, Kyungsoo."

His heart started thundering in his chest as soon as he realized it. Chanyeol felt dizzy, scared, shaken. Realisations started to hit him one by one.

Jongin really did see Kyungsoo that day.

Kyungsoo really came to see him. 

And Chanyeol was the one, who let him go.

He was the one to stop Jongin that night.

Chanyeol, so convinced that he was the right one, didn’t even listen to his best friend, or even consider the fact that Jongin might have been telling the truth. He, Park Chanyeol, just made Jongin feel as if he was crazy, when in reality, he actually wasn't. He just saw more, than Chanyeol did, and that was it. 

I'm so sorry, Jongin ah. Chanyeol thought, biting his lip, and feeling his heart ache with sorrow. I'm so sorry. 

 “Yes, that's true.” Kyungsoo admitted easily, looking amused by Chanyeol’s statement. "I passed by accidentaly as I was taking a walk. Not that I came on purpose or anything, if you were thinking that, Chanyeol."

Just nodding at those words, Chanyeol clutched Baekhyun’s hand tighter in his own. He needed it so badly, to feel that he wasn't alone, and that there was someone with him in this. Someone who could give him strength to deal with this now. 

As if he knew it, Baekhyun took a step closer to him, and Chanyeol felt himself