I was pleasantly surprised the next morning when I already had a response on my phone from Taeyeon. She invited me to a rehearsal that would take place the next day. I quickly responded that I would love to go and meet them before getting ready for the day. A knock came at my door as was the usual, and I swung my door open just as was the usual. However, I was surprised to find Ravi there instead of N. “Time to go already?” I asked him once I had gotten over my initial hesitation.

He shook his head, “No, we have some time still.” I caught his eyes glancing to the visitor chair, “Can I come in?” he finally asked, his voice low.

“Since when do you have to ask?” I asked with a smile, opening the door a little wider to let him in.

Ravi had an uncharacteristic air of awkwardness about him as he settled into the chair. “I’ve missed this chair,” he mumbled as I shut the door behind him.

I settled onto the edge of my bed closest to him, “I’ve spent more time at your place,” I mused, swinging my feet gently.

He nodded a little before finally looking me in the eyes, “Are you okay?” he asked me, his voice serious.

The question caught me off guard, “Of course I’m okay,” I replied quickly, creasing my eyebrows in slight confusion.

Ravi sighed a little, leaning forward, his forearms on his knees, “I’m sorry I haven’t kept my promise.” When once again I had no idea what he was talking about, I simply stared for a moment. Taking the hint he continued, “I promised back on Fourth of July that I wouldn’t treat you any different than before.”

“Ah,” my heart sank a little as I leaned back some. One of these conversations.

He held up his hand, preventing me from speaking on the subject, “I really wanted to, but I just,” he trailed off briefly, “I guess I needed some space to get past it.”

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my aching heart, “I did, too,” I admitted. It did bother me a little that he needed to recover since he had been the one doing the rejection. Then again, Ken had said there was some reason. Ravi, too, had said he would explain one day. I still was undecided if I even wanted to hear it.

“You haven’t been yourself lately,” he pressed, “Something is bothering you.” When I was about to object, he cut me off, “Even though I’ve given you some space doesn’t mean I’ve stopped being your best friend. I know you feel like you’re an island all alone, but I know you,” he pulled the black beanie off his head to rub at his scalp. He was visibly frustrated. His eyeliner-rimmed eyes finally returned to mine, his handsome face completely serious. Not a hint of his little crooked smile.

My mouth hung open slightly. The words hit home, to say the least. He was so blunt, I felt as though I’d been punched in the chest, “I’m sorry,” I managed to squeak out the words as I dipped my head a little. I had been so concerned with my own feelings that I hadn’t really considered the possibility that someone would notice. Sometimes I did still feel like the outsider still looking in, but by now I had made legitimate connections with each of the six men I had come to love so much. By isolating myself, I realized I had affected them, too.

I felt the bed sink at my side. Before I could even properly look up at him, Ravi had pulled me into his side, “The hell are you apologizing for?” he asked with a hint of a laugh on his voice. “Just talk to me, Mira.”

I took a deep breath. There was no way I could tell him everything. 'Sorry Ravi, I’ve gotten over my crush on you by developing one way worse on the least emotionally accessible person on the planet' didn’t exactly seem like a useful or smart thing to say, so I figured I should probably just talk out as much as I could. “I put everything I had into making that song,” I started.

“And it’s amazing,” he pointed out.

“Every minute was worth it,” I clarified, “but it’s an emotional experience writing music like that. I hardly slept, and it was all I could think about, but now,” I couldn’t really finish that sentence. Already I felt some relief from putting it into words.

“I understand,” he spoke, “Even just writing lyrics can be emotionally draining.”

Nodding, I continued as best as I could, “I guess it’s all over now, and I think I need to get away for a while.”

“I guess I’d want to take a break from us every once in a while.” Even though his voice was clearly teasing, I frowned up at him.

“You know that’s not what I mean,” I whined slightly, and I was rewarded with one of his little half smiles. I managed to smile back up at him before I continued, “I guess I’ve finally gotten through to all of you. You’re the best friends I’ve had in a long time, and I’m so happy to be here.”

“But?” he prodded.

“But,” I said with a long sigh, “I guess we take each other for granted. I’ll be here for maybe two more months.” He looked like he was about to speak, but it was my turn to interrupt, “Before you say ‘don’t talk about that’, I think that is precicely why we should talk about it. I don’t want it to hang over our heads, but I think when we all hang out together like we have been, it really feels like this is home.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” he asked, pulling me a little tighter in his arms.

I shook my head very slightly, “Of course it’s good, and I don’t want the fact that I have to leave to get in the way of enjoying each other’s company, it’s just” I was having a hard time articulating what I wanted to say, and I began to pull at my hair. I was having a cycle of conflicting emotions. On one side of the coin, I wanted to get as close to the guys as I possibly could while I had the chance, but on the flip side I knew the closer I got, the more painful leaving would be. "It's going to be so hard," was all I managed to croak as my throat became dry.

“It’s alright,” he murmured, hugging me properly. I nestled my head under his chin, closing my eyes. “I think I get it,” he spoke again. “So what are you going to do?”

I swallowed hard to try and regain my voice, “Well, I made some plans for tomorrow while you guys are at your performance,” I decided not to get specific about my plans. Luckily, Ravi didn’t seem keen to pry. “I think I just need a change of scenery to clear my head.”

“I think it’ll be better when you get to work again,” he suggested, his low voice rumbling in his chest as I leaned against him.

I gave a little dry laugh, “You’re right, you do know me.” We stayed like that for a few minutes, and I had to admit my heart did feel just a little bit lighter. “Thank you for coming to see me, Ravi.”

“As much as I’m super stoked that you've befriended everyone so well now,” he spoke up suddenly. His subject change nearly confused me, but luckily he kept talking, his voice returning to his comforting and gentle self, “but I do miss being able to have you to myself.” He gave me a light kiss on the top of my head.

Relaxing against his body, I s one of my arms around him in return. “I’ve missed you, too, Wonsik.”

We sighed in unison before Ravi spoke again, this time he was slightly whiny, “I’d better get out of here before Hakyeon hyung comes to get you.”

“Yeah,” I agreed quietly, “Thanks again for coming to see me.”

He gave me one last gentle squeeze before letting me go, hopping off my bed to head towards the door, “We’ll probably leave pretty soon,” he said with a little smile, “So I’ll see you soon.”

I gave him a little lazy wave as he slipped out of my room. As soon as he was gone, I fell back onto my bed, letting my arms splay out over the blankets. Ravi’s visit had really helped me feel better, but I was still emotionally exhausted. And the day had not yet begun. I fetched my phone from my desk, checking for any messages. When there was nothing, I decided to send a little message to Taemin, who I had not heard from since his debut. I couldn’t blame him, of course, he was probably doing performances at least once a day. Still, I missed the cheerful and positive messages I had gotten used to receiving every day.

As advertised, Hakyeon arrived at my door not long after that. “Good morning!” he sang as he poked his head through my doorway.

“Good morning, Hakyeon,” I answered as I sat back up, feeling relieved to see his perfectly even smile. I had a renewed appreciation for N after my little talk with Ravi. He really was amazingly supportive and empathetic. A great leader for a close knit group of guys like VIXX. “Where are we off to today?”

He huffed, leaning against the door frame, “Something similar to yesterday. A radio show that’s part variety part interview. Think a sillier version of Sukira.”

I nodded, thinking carefully before speaking, “Do you want me to hide?” I came to the conclusion after my little heart to heart with Ravi that it would be better for me to ask as opposed to just assuming.

N seemed to consider the question for a while, “It’s up to you. We generally enjoy when you get to appear with us, and even in an objective sense, we’ll get more views with you appearing. You might think you’re stealing our thunder, but you’re actually helping us.” He stopped to smile at me, “Plus, you know one of the hosts.”

“I do?” I asked curiously, furrowing my brow.

With a little laugh, he nodded slightly, “It’s Cho Kyuhyun.”

“Ah he's too clever," I said with a little laugh, "I guess hiding wouldn’t work anyway, then,” I conceded, but the idea of having another friendly face was something to look forward to. After a comfortable moment of quiet, I hopped up from my seat on my bed, “Shall we?”

Just as the day before, we repeated the usual routine. Pile into van, drive to venue, pile out of van, shuffle into venue. At least this time when we walked in, there was no awkwardness as I spotted Kyuhyun sitting at the interview desk, preparing. As we entered the room, his head lifted, and he grinned when he saw me. “You brought Mira!” he called happily as he stood from his seat to approach us.

They all greeted him politely as their elder, but he ignored them and walked right up to me, pulling me into a close hug. “Hey Kyuhyun,” I said with a laugh, peering at the rest of VIXX from the corner of my eye. They were all sighing and rolling their eyes, but there wasn’t much they could say about it. They were herded away from Kyuhyun and I to get ready for the show. “Heechul said you were in China,” I spoke as soon as the boys were taken away.

“Yeah our Chinese subunit had a concert,” he spoke as he placed a hand on the small of my back, leading me to the set. “But Leeteuk is back from military and we’re getting ready for a comeback.”

I had heard about the international subunits of some of the larger groups. The entirety of Girls’ Generation had learned Japanese to appeal to that market while Super Junior had a smaller group, but a pretty large presence in China. “Oh,” that reminded me, “I meet with Taeyeon tomorrow.”

He looked at me, clearly a bit surprised, “Tomorrow?” When I simply nodded, he looked up in thought as if he were calculating something, “I guess you’ll see their rehearsal.”

“She mentioned something like that, yeah.”

He hummed to himself, thinking, “You’ll like her, I think.”

I laughed a little, “I’ve yet to hear about someone I wouldn’t like, Kyuhyhun.”

He laughed as well, “Well if you had worked with us, and I was introducing you to VIXX, I might have recommended you stay away from Leo.”

Kyuhyun had a point. If he hadn’t been forced to warm up to me, I would just be another person to ignore and act aloof towards. “Well, I guess I got lucky, then.”

Kyuhyun was kind enough to introduce me to the other hosts of the show. They were all older comedians, similar to those from the show yesterday. Having the prior connection through Kyuhyun proved to be a huge boon. I was able to converse with them before the show even started, alleviating the potential for awkwardness once the show was live. “Is it true you tried to hide from the Weekly Idol hosts?” one of them asked me.

“Ah, so you did hear about it,” I laughed a little nervously, “Yeah, I wanted to come along to watch, but not participate.”

“Never going to happen,” the host spoke with a loud laugh.

I smiled a little, “I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for my meddling hair.”

“Well we are glad you are here of your own free will today,” another host spoke, slightly more subdued.

Kyuhyun led me away from the table as the show was nearing its start time. It had been decided that I should probably also be seen by the makeup team so I didn’t look quite so tired. “As a heads up,” Kyuhyun whispered to me, “they’ll probably ask you about all the pictures on that Mira watch blog.”

I sighed as we approached the makeup statement, “Thanks for the warning,” I said with a little smile. It was especially kind of him, considering that it was almost certainly intended to be a shocking question, my embarrassed or surprised reaction being the main draw. Kyuhyun had given me the opportunity to mentally prepare so I could respond with perhaps a bit more grace. Very quickly a young woman threw several products at me until she was satisfied that I looked better.

A member of the production crew ushered me offstage. Apparently I was going to be introduced after the show had already started, being brought in as a special guest at the end of the segment. There was something nice about sitting on my own offstage, watching the playful banter between VIXX and the show hosts. As usual, Ravi and N were fantastically eloquent in their answers, while Ken’s playful antics were always well-received. The other three were generally quiet until questions were presented directly to them. And even then, of course, Leo often looked to Ravi or N to answer his questions in his stead.

“We’re very happy you’re all here together,” Kyuhyun spoke, “but now it’s time for us to bring in a special guest and a very good friend of mine, Mira!”

The other hosts all clapped politely as I was instructed to walk out onto the set, sitting in an empty seat between Kyuhyun and Ravi. I couldn’t help but be amused by the various expressions on VIXX’s faces. “We thought you had kidnapped her, Kyuhyun,” Ravi admitted with a little laugh. “One minute she was with us, and next thing we saw was Kyuhyun leading her away.”

The hosts all laughed, but Kyuhyun raised his hands defensively, “I was just showing my dear friend around!”

Every time Kyuhyun called me a friend, I saw Leo’s eyes narrow just a little more. He clearly didn't appreciate how casually he threw the word around. Looking back to Kyuhyun, I grinned a little, “It was very kind of you, Kyuhyun.”

“We have to ask,” one of the other hosts leaned forward to see me better, “are you really friends with Kyuhyun, or is this guy just trying to name drop?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the question. As I had told N before, ‘friends’ was a strong word for guys like Kyuhyun, Henry, and Heechul, but I wasn’t about to ruin my chances by shutting him down now. “Of course,” I decided, “Kyuhyun has really helped me out a lot while in Korea.” It wasn’t wrong, per say. He gave me those phone numbers. Every contact made here was a potential future project or employment opportunity.

“And how did you meet?” they continued to press, “It was through Taemin, right?”

“Actually, no,” I responded, glancing over at N on the other side of the line, “N arranged for me to meet Henry Lau, and it was Henry who brought Kyuhyun and Taemin along.”

As the hosts nodded in understanding, N took the opportunity to speak up, his voice carrying a hint of pride, “When Mira first revealed she was here in Seoul, she was a bit overwhelmed with all the people wanting to meet her, so she let me decide who to meet,” he paused to lean forward, glaring slightly at Kyuhyun, “I merely wanted her to meet Henry, since they have so much in common.”

The hosts began to laugh, “So you didn’t want her to meet Kyuhyun?”

“No,” N said bluntly, though he began to grin as the hosts’ laughter increased. “Though I guess since she was already friends with Taemin and introducing her to Henry, it was silly of me to think that it could be avoided.”

“So Taemin,” another host cut in, and I took a breath, anticipating the next question, “How is it that you two got to be such good friends?” I released my breath. That question was not nearly as awkward as I had feared. He continued, “I watched your first interview, and you said that you had never met before.”

I nodded slowly, “Well, Taemin’s solo debut video was choreographed by my good friend from back in the US, Ian Eastwood. They spent a good amount of time together in Los Angeles, and Ian absolutely adores Taemin, and vice versa,” I explained, glancing to Kyuhyun, waiting to continue until he gave me a little nod of approval. “So, that way we already had something in common, and once we did get to meet, we’ve stayed in contact ever since.” At Kyuhyun's approving smile, I relaxed a little, "It helps that he's such a sweetheart," I tagged on at the end, appeasing my hosts. And with that, the subject was thankfully dropped.

The interview continued in this casual way. It was comfortable, and the hosts were gracious in including both me and the VIXX boys in the conversation. At some point I got to take the backseat again, the focus returning back to VIXX. I leaned back in my chair, subtly doing what I could do get out of the frame of the camera. Eventually, the interview wound down to an end. I managed to avoid any more intervention until the very last moment, but even then it was just to talk about the collaboration, which I could only answer in extremely vague terms, since the announcement had not been made. Once it was over, the cameras cut and we all relaxed.

“Thanks for being a good sport,” Kyuhyun leaned over and murmured to me.

I looked to him, slightly surprised, “That was fine. Thanks for having us.”

He reached out to drape and arm over my shoulder as we stood, a gesture I had grown used to. As soon as he made contact with me, however, Leo appeared like a phantom. “We have to go, Mira,” he spoke quietly but sternly.

“Alright,” I said hesitantly, trying to read Leo’s face. Of course, that was a pipe dream, his face as flat as it always was.

“Well it was good to see you,” Kyuhyun released me, giving a little snide glance to Leo as he backed away.

I gave him a little wave before Leo’s hand fell on my shoulder, guiding me away. “What was that about?” I asked him quietly as he steered me off of the set. I was about to dig into him, angry that he would be so petty as to separate me from Kyuhyhun for no reason other than not liking the guy (a fact he had made abundantly clear on multiple occasions), but he was very insistent on hurrying me away from the set.

He turned to me once we were in the relative darkness of backstage, “There’s a photographer out there,” Leo spoke quickly and quietly.

“Oh,” I said simply. I felt bad for assuming he was going to give me a hard time. “Thanks,” I managed to speak, looking away from him. I had actually been hoping he was going to be rude. Being nice was not helping. Then again, it wasn’t fair for me to punish him just because I had become an emotional train wreck, so I looked up at him, “Do you disapprove of me interacting with people so casually?” It was a question I had been wanting to ask not just him, but the entirety of VIXX for a while. It seemed there were mixed reviews. Some people found my American forwardness refreshing, while some found it disrespectful.

“No,” he said simply, “I wish I were as comfortable around people as you.” His facial expression shifted just a little, a slightly sad smile appearing. Before I could respond to that, N showed up to bring us to the van.

Once we were all in the car, Ken called to me as he was driving, “Mira, I can see now why you don’t like coming on interviews with us.”

“Oh really?” I replied casually from my spot in the back seat.

“Yeah, they always ask you awkward ,” he laughed a little as he pulled out of the parking lot, “You should just wear a sign that says ‘I’m American’ and point to it every time they ask you something.”

The whole car began to laugh at the idea. “It’s not a horrible idea,” I spoke between fits of giggles, “I can see it now: ‘Mira, why are you so friendly with male idols?’ Because I’m American. ‘Mira, do you have no sense of shame or decency?’ I’m American.” They all continued to laugh, and I sighed a little, “They haven’t been that bad yet, but I can see it happening.”

“I think they keep asking you about Taemin because he’s so well-liked and has been in the industry forever without a single scandal,” Ravi offered from next to me, “Don’t let them get to you.”

I shrugged a little, “As long as it doesn’t hurt Taemin, I’m fine with whatever they throw at me.”

“Ravi told me you have plans tomorrow,” N spoke up suddenly, turning from his spot in the front seat, craning his long neck. “Where are you going?”

“It’s a secret,” I responded, giving him a little smile. “I’ll tell you guys all about it when I get home tomorrow.”

“Fine,” he relented with a little frowning creasing his face, turning back to face forward, “Just be safe, okay?”

“We’ll be at a performance,” Ravi reminded me, “but you can call someone from management if you need anything.”

Their concern was touching, but unnecessary. I shook my head, “I’m not going on some dangerous expedition,” I said with a little laugh.

The rest of the drive was made in relative silence, only lasting a few minutes until we arrived back home. As we began to file into the lobby, a hand on my elbow made me stop and turn. It was Hongbin, who had been pretty much silent all day. “Mira,” he seemed nervous, “do you think we could practice some guitar today?”

I honestly had sort of forgotten about Hongbin’s desire to learn guitar from me. “Of course,” the distraction would be welcome, that was for sure, “I’ll meet you down in the studio in half an hour.”

Spending the rest of the day back in the studio was rather nice. I had been happy to have a break from the constant grind of work, but being able to just sit down there and play some guitar was relaxing. Hongbin was a fast and motivated learner. Generally I was not keen on the whole teaching thing, but if there were an ideal student to have, Hongbin would be it. We were taking a quick break, Hongbin’s fingers not accustomed to the sharp strings, when he spoke rather suddenly, his voice amused, “Leo’s lurking outside."

“What?” I sat up in my chair, too, glancing out the little window. I didn’t see anything, “Are you sure?”

Hongbin wasn’t even looking anymore, but he simply nodded, his dimpled smile growing slowly, “He doesn’t want to interrupt. He’s glanced through the window four times now.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, “What should we do? Make him wait?”

He shook his head, “You know how he is. We should probably just put him out of his misery.” When I nodded in agreement, Hongbin finally looked toward the door, cupping his hands around his mouth to increase his projection, “Taekwoon hyung! You can come in now!”

After a silent moment, the door opened, and Leo meekly poked his head into the room, “Come upstairs and eat,” he said simply, not making eye contact with either of us. Hongbin and I looked at each other for a moment, each of us grinning.

Once Hongbin had everything packed up, the three of us walked quietly up the stairs. As we neared the VIXX apartment, Leo began to lag behind a bit, and I paused to check what was up. He gave me a serious look. I glanced back to Hongbin, who simply waved over his shoulder as he went inside. I looked back, “Taekwoon?”

He stepped toward me before leaning against the wall. “Are you meeting more people tomorrow?” he asked suddenly.

As much as I didn’t want to talk about my plans yet, it was an innocent enough question. “Yeah,” I said with a sigh, “I’m hoping it’ll be my last meet and greet for a while.”

“I figured you were enjoying it,” his voice was a touch surprised.

I sighed, "I am, but at the same time, I'm a bit tired of it,” I admitted. “I’ve enjoyed just about everyone I’ve met, especially GD and Taemin, but it’s a little exhausting,” I laughed a little at the end of my statement, realizing how silly it sounded.

“So why do you keep doing it?”

I sighed, looking down the pale beige hall, “Well in part it’s like a chain reaction. N wanted me to meet Henry, which I am grateful for. That was a good pick," I admitted. That was in good taste on N's part. "But then he brought Kyuhyun, who I also really like. Kyuhyun tells Heechul that he met me, so Heechul storm this place to meet me. I very much enjoyed meeting him, too," I shook my head, before looking up at him, “You see where I’m going with this?”

A little smile spread across his face, “Yeah,” he started, “maybe you should stop being so likeable.”

Such a blunt compliment from Leo was rare. I laughed, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

We stood there for an extra moment, just looking at each other in comfortable silence. The way his smile reached his eyes was the best indication that he was sincerely glad to be there with me. “Let’s go get some food before Ravi eats it all,” Leo finally broke the silence, but his smile remained as we walked into the VIXX apartment together.