N showed up at my door bright and early, grinning like a fool. “Ready?” he asked me expectantly once I had grabbed a few things. He didn’t even let me speak as he began to ramble, “It was difficult, you know, asking management to bring you along. They didn’t want you to distract us.”

“They’re probably right,” I pointed out, but that didn’t stop me from following him down the hallway, notepad in hand. I was still storyboarding the music video, and figured it would be a good activity to continue while they were busy filming whatever it was they had that day.

Hakyeon happily dragged me along down the stairs and out into the usual van. This time, though, he opened the passenger door, gesturing for me to hop up, “Go on,” N urged, “take the comfy seat today.”

I hesitated, growing suspicious. I had learned through experience the tendency these boys had for pranks. Giving up his leader chair seemed like a red flag. “Nooooona,” Ken called from the driver’s seat, “Hop in before Hyukkie sees that spot is free!”

“Okay, okay,” I slipped into the seat, quickly putting on my seat belt as I glanced to Ken bouncing to himself in the driver’s seat. I glanced back to the rear of the vehicle, finding that N had settled in one of the middle row seats, and Leo appeared to be asleep in the very back corner, where he had sat before, hood pulled up and tightened. “Where are the young’uns?”

Ken sighed dramatically, “Children these days don’t understand the value of timeliness,” he looked at me with a disappointed expression on his face, “Disgraceful, isn’t it?”

N laughed quietly from behind us, gazing peacefully out the window, “They’ll be out in a minute, I’m sure.”

Soon enough, Ravi, Hongbin, and Hyuk came casually strolling out towards the van.  Hyuk was the last one to pile into the van, stopping when he saw N was in his normal spot, “N hyung not sitting up front?” he asked, peeking over the seat, his face lighting up when he saw me, “Oh good morning, Mira!” he greeted, cheerful as ever.

“Hi Hyukkie,” I said with a little laugh, “Sorry it looks like you have to take my spot,” I glanced back, the only spot being the certainly less comfortable middle seat on the back bench between the sleeping Leo and Ravi.

“It’s okay,” he spoke as he settled back, squeezing in to the seat carefully, trying not to wake Taekwoon. I watched him, and I couldn’t help but notice the young man was so clearly still a teenager, his body slim and tall. Soon enough, he might grow taller than Leo. He grinned and gave me a little wave before I turned back around, glancing at Ken as I did so.

He beamed at me, giving himself a slight underbite, “Are we ready for DriverKen to take us to the studio?” he called to the whole car, singing slightly as he did.

“Everyone put your seatbelts on,” N said calmly, “Let’s get going.”

I understood why N let me have the front seat after a while. This drive was rather long, unlike the other trips I’d taken with them thus far. We hit a fair bit of traffic, too. Luckily, Ken maintained his focus on the road, despite his random outbursts of song or animal noises. Eventually we all fell into a sleepy sort of silence, the warm sun paired with the AC in the van keeping us all pleasantly comfortable.

At long last, Ken pulled into a parking lot in front of a rather fancy looking building. “DriverKen has arrived safely,” he announced proudly, “Now wake up, lazy passengers!”

With various groans and grumbles, the rest of VIXX managed to get out of the van. I hopped down from the passenger seat, and suddenly regretted not bringing a hoodie myself. Seeing my trepidation, N stepped in front of me, “What’s wrong, Mira?”

“I’m going to be recognized, aren’t I?” I sighed.

“Duh,” Ravi spoke, butting into the conversation, “I’m sure they’ll want to talk to you.”

“Did you not want to be?” N asked curiously.

Memories of what happened with the radio show ran through my mind. I didn’t really want to steal their thunder again. I clutched my notebook to my chest. I had really only wanted to get some work done, only taking the chance to socialize with VIXX on the off chance of a break here or there. Suddenly I got hit with an article of clothing. I pulled it off of my shoulder where it had landed to find it was the dark grey hoodie Leo had been wearing moments ago. When I looked around to find him, he was simply standing a few feet away, looking up at the building, rubbing his arms slowly.

Ken tossed something to me as well, “You can be a secret today,” he called with a wink. I caught the plastic, which turned out to be sunglasses. “Well just say you’re our strange assistant or something.”

It was decided, then. I would hide off screen, posing as a member of Jellyfish staff. N stressed that if I really wanted to jump into whatever they were doing, I was more than welcome. I sincerely doubted I would suddenly desire to join the broadcast, but the sentiment was nice, anyway. I zipped up the warm hoodie Leo had loaned me, pulling the hood securely over my red hair. Ken’s sunglasses were a touch ridiculous for my taste, but their oversized nature ended up being a boon rather than a burden.

Luckily, the staff in the studio left me alone once word spread that I was simply part of management. I found a little chair near one of the main cameras. It had full view of the simple set, while also putting me well out of the way of any moving equipment. As the boys were getting touch-ups from hair and makeup, I got settled, crossing one leg over my knee and opening my notebook to get to work. Sitting in the shadows of the set, I folded up the sunglasses and tucked them in the hoodie pocket.

The show was a simple format. Two hosts, clearly comedians, sat on one side of a display, with the boys seated in a line on the other. It was half interview, half variety show. I settled into a comfortable rotation of watching them and working on my storyboards. Every now and then I’d catch one of the members watching me, clearly checking up on me. I got to a point where I was spending most of my time watching instead of working, but I had to admit it was nice. The hosts clearly new N well, as they were continuously messing with him. All of the boys were well-engaged, though Leo was generally left alone. At some point, the very popular request to try and make Leo laugh was brought up once again. I, for one, thought it was a silly challenge. Leo was more likely to laugh on accident than on purpose. If you warn him that you’re trying to get him to do it, he’s more likely to steel himself and make the whole process way harder.

As I had predicted, it took quite a long time to get anything out of Leo. I couldn’t help but watch, my work temporarily abandoned. Eventually, Ken’s old-lady act became too much, and Leo bit his lip as he suppressed a smile. He glanced at me, making a brief moment of eye contact. Leo had a habit of biting his lip when he thinks, or when he’s trying to hide something, or when he's nervous. I saw him do it all the time, but I found myself noticing every detail of the typically inane action now. His eyes were squinted from the smile he was hiding, his teeth were incredibly white, but wider than average. His tongue quickly lashed out to wet the left side of his bottom lip before biting down. And then in an instant it was gone, and his eyes returned to Ken.

The hosts were celebrating the success of the game as I dropped my attention to my lap. I let out a slow breath. , I thought silently to myself, Stop it, Mira, I took another deep breath, reaching up to scratch at my scalp. Nothing good can come from looking at him like that, I kept reminding myself. A second rejection was not on my itinerary. As I was coaching myself, I heard murmurs around me.

“You mean Mira has been sitting here the whole time?” I heard one of the hosts shout in surprise. I lifted my head, looking around frantically, finding that all eyes were on me. I looked to VIXX, and Hyuk pointed at his hair, an apologetic look on his face. I mirrored his action, and found that a few strands of my iconic firey hair had fallen forward when I had scratched my head earlier.

A cameraman swung around, revealing me on the monitor. With a sigh, I removed the hood from my head and gave a sheepish little wave. The hosts ran over, grabbing me by my elbows and guiding me on set. “I can’t believe you guys didn’t say anything,” a host scolded as they pulled up a stool for me between them and VIXX.

“She was just here to watch,” N tried to explain, “we have been leaving her at home, but she wanted to come see today.”

The hosts introduced themselves excitedly, and I returned the gesture as politely as I could. “I’m sorry for hiding,” I spoke quickly, giving another little bow.

“It’s alright,” the older host assured me, “but this does explain something.”

“Oh?” the younger host asked, and the boys seemed keen on what he had to say as well.

The older man nodded, “You know, I saw each of them at least once looked over at her,” he began, causing a chorus of ‘aah’ to come from the rest of the group. He continued, “And I thought it was strange, this member of management must be really mean for them to always want to check on her.”

There was a wave of laughter, and I couldn’t help but smile, too. “Well, I am really mean to them,” I admitted, “so you’re mostly right.”

“Aah,” N spoke up, “that’s not true,” he waved his hand at me, but before he could speak, one of the hosts interjected.

He looked to Taekwoon, “Leo, you were doing it, too. If not out of fear, why?”

Leo looked a little panicked by the question. He never was good with direct questioning to begin with. He looked to Ravi next to him, his usual go-to interpreter. Luckily, Ravi was on point, “Ah, Leo is rather protective of our Mira,” he spoke smoothly, casting a little smirk at me, “We all are.” Out of all of the members, Ravi and N were the best at this sort of thing, and I was grateful that they were so willing to fill in for their friends, Leo especially. Leo simply nodded along as Ravi continued to speak, “We knew she wanted to hide today, so I think all of us wanted to keep checking on her.”

The hosts seemed to accept that answer, but turned to me, “We honestly had no idea you were here. Why the secrecy?”

I paused to think, looking at each of the members in turn. I decided to just be honest, “A while back, we appeared on a radio program together.”

“Kiss the Radio,” the host clarified.

“Yes,” I nodded to him, “And the show became all about me, when it was supposed to be about them,” I gestured to VIXX. “It was fine, that show was really fun, but I didn’t want to ruin their promotions.”

Hakyeon interjected as soon as I was done, “It wasn’t us who decided,” he clarified, “We want her with us, so it was my idea to bring her along. She’s too nice for her own good.”

The hosts ‘aww’d together before laughing some, “It’s so strange to see you this kind, N.” They looked at me in unison, the younger one addressing me, “Now that you’re here, can we ask you some questions? We don’t have much more time anyway.”

I looked to VIXX once again, and they all nodded at me with smiles on their face, “Alright,” I relented, looking back to my hosts, “What would you like to know?”

They launched into a series of rapid-fire questions. Thankfully, they had taken a cue from my earlier comment and kept their questions strictly VIXX-related. Mostly it was silly personality questions like who sleeps the most and who is the messiest. “So we have to wrap up, but we absolutely have to ask you this,” the older host asked, scooting close to me.

“Uh-oh,” I said with a nervous laugh. That was never a good premise for a question.

He smiled a little, “Which VIXX member is your favorite?”

All of the boys jumped out of their chairs, causing a commotion, “You can’t ask her that!” Hongbin spoke up, though his voice carried a hint of amusement.

“Not fair, not fair,” N scolded the hosts, “she still has to work with us!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. There was no way I was going to answer that question regardless. Mostly because there really wasn’t an answer. I raised my hands, trying to end the commotion. They settled down, returning to their chairs. I turned to the hosts, “They all have their moments.”

They hosts seemed a bit satisfied by this, “Alright, then for VIXX fans, let’s play a little game. We’ll pick one member and one type of memory, and you can share.”

“Alright,” I nodded, glancing over at the boys who seemed a bit anxious now, “Let’s do it.”

They had staff bring them little bowls with paper, and the hosts drew one from each. “Okay, a funny memory of,” he paused, opening the second paper, “Ravi!”

I grinned, and saw Ravi was both relieved and eager to hear my answer. “Hmm,” I thought for a moment. “I think my favorite funny memory of Ravi is when we had our Fourth of July party,” I began, looking up at the ceiling as I recalled the memory, “and he was in charge of picking the music.” When I looked to Ravi, his head had sunk into his hands, and I chuckled a little.

“What did he pick?” the host scooted closer, anticipating the story eagerly.

“Muse,” I replied, “who are definitely up there in my list of favorite bands.”

“What was the problem then?”

I grinned, “They’re not American. They’re from England.” Laughter filled the room for a moment, but I continued, “And Fourth of July is celebrating American Independence, right? So it was doubly funny that he picked a band from the country we fought for independence from.”

“What do you have to say for yourself, Ravi?” the host questioned, suppressing his own laughter.

A groan came from Wonsik, “I had no idea!” he whined.

“Well, we’re just about out of time, but in order for VIXX to have their revenge, we’ll let them pick a type of memory to share about Mira,” he spoke as he stood, bringing the little bowl of papers.

“Cute!” N announced, holding up the little piece of paper.

“A cute memory of Mira, then,” the host grinned at me.

I groaned, pulling at my hair. Cute definitely was not a word that described my image. There was no way I would leave that place without being embarrassed, it seemed. The boys all huddled together, discussing what their answer would be for a moment before they returned to their seats, seemingly in agreement. “Our most recent episode of VIXX TV,” Hongbin spoke up to tell the story, “our management gave us a challenge that if we could carry Mira around all day at the fair, we’d get treated to a nice dinner.”

“Carry her?” the host clarified.

Hongbin nodded, “It was like playing the floor is lava, but only she could be hurt by it. As long as she never touched the ground, she was safe. We all carried her at some point, but while Leo hyung had her on his back, we went and got all of the different carnival foods to share.” I was convinced he was just going to mention how Leo fed me, but he continued in earnest, “We were just about done when Mira spotted just normal corndogs, and she went crazy!”

I covered my face in my hands as the host looked at me, “Over such a normal thing?”

“They’re not like that in America!” I said in my defense, “And I’m pretty sure we invented them! In the states, it’s just a hot dog on a stick covered in cornmeal batter, but here you have French fries on them!”

They all laughed at my emphatic defense, but Hongbin continued, “When she saw them, she nearly made Leo hyung fall over because she was so excited. We ended up buying her one to have all to herself because we knew she wouldn’t share.”

The hosts laughed again, “And that is your cute Mira memory?”

“Yes,” Hongbin answered directly, “the way she shouted ‘Leo, Leo what IS that?’ was very cute.”

“Well, it is quite fun to see all of you together,” the older host said with a little laugh, “We look forward to see what you all accomplish.”

And just like that, it was all over. The staff all applauded politely, and we made our rounds saying goodbye and thanking them for their efforts. I retrieved my notebook and Ken’s sunglasses from my old resting place before filing out with the rest of the boys.

We made our way back out to the van, and I pulled the hoodie off as we walked. I caught up with Leo, handing it back to him, “Thanks for this, by the way.”

“No problem,” he spoke quietly as he took it back, draping it over his shoulder. I felt my chest tighten as he gave me one of those tiny barely-distinguishable smiles I had come to love so much. I really needed to get over whatever this was.

“Miraaaa,” Ken called from the driver’s seat, “come be my front seat buddy!”

Breaking out of my little daze, I quickly hopped up into the passenger seat so that we could head back home. The ride home was much livelier than the drive to the studio, everyone making comments about the program. “Sorry you didn’t get to hide,” Hyuk’s face appeared next to mine as he leaned forward in his seat that he had traded with N.

I gently his hair once, “It’s alright. I got out of most of it.”

“I can’t believe you told that story,” I heard Ravi grumble from the very back, causing me to turn an look at his pouty face.

“THAT story? I can’t believe you guys told the corndog story!” I countered.

Hongbin laughed, “But it was cute,” he said simply.

I rolled my eyes, facing forward again. Arms crossed over my chest, I huffed, “I don’t have a cute image, you know.”

It was Ken’s turn to laugh, “You will now! At least in Korea.”

Grateful that my typical American audience would never see that segment, I gave up on that subject, joining in on their banter for the rest of the way home. It was starting to head towards evening as we neared home, so we decided that we should all eat together in their apartment. “I can cook for you guys if you want,” I offered.

“American food?” Hongbin asked eagerly, sitting forward in his seat.

I shrugged, “If we can go to a store, I can figure something out.”

The energy in the car buzzed as they all discussed amongst themselves about the possibility for food. With the exception of Leo, who had fallen asleep against the wall of the van in the rear. Boys- so easy to please. I smiled to myself as I looked out the window. I wasn’t exactly a chef, but if I could find some basic ingredients, I knew I could cook something new and exciting for the Koreans.

Ken brought us to a rather large grocery store. When we parked, I twisted around to look at all of them, “I can just go by myself if you guys don’t want to risk being seen.” Even if I was recognized, I had a feeling I was less likely to cause a large ruckus than the six of them together.

They looked at each other for a moment, but N finally spoke up, “Let one of us go with you, at least. Just in case.” After a moment of thought, I nodded.

“I’ll go,” Ken announced. “Toss me Taekwoon’s jacket,” he called to Hyuk, who gingerly pulled the hoodie off of Leo’s shoulder before handing it up to us. Ken grabbed it and hopped out of the car after slipping on his own glasses. “They’ll think I’m just your bodyguard,” he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

We made our way to the store entrance, Ken staying just a step behind me. “Thanks Jaehwan,” I spoke softly before stepping through the automatic door.

“No probs, Professor,” he gave me a little smile before pulling the hood tighter around his face. We strolled through the store while Ken insisted on pushing the cart. There were murmurs around us, but thankfully we were essentially undisturbed while we scanned the isles. I brought us to the international foods section first to see what I had to work with. There were tons of options, but a lot of it wasn’t anything that would make for a good meal. After staring down the shelves for a while, I made a decision. I began grabbing everything I needed, moving quickly. I could tell Ken wanted nothing more than to ask me what I was doing, but thankfully he had the sense to keep quiet. I dragged him along, grabbing some more generic ingredients from the rest of the store before heading to the produce section. I was pretty picky, and I took my time picking out what I needed. But at long last, I was pretty satisfied. Nodding to Ken, we headed through the checkout. An elderly man rang us up, causing us no issue. I was pretty sure we were in the clear as we gathered our bags and made our way out.

We quickly returned to the van, handing the bags to Hongbin and Hyuk in the middle row. Ken removed the hoodie, tossing it back to Leo who had woken up at some point. “Incognito shopping, success!” Ken pumped his fist as he swung around to the driver side again.

“What did you get, Mira?” Hongbin asked as he picked through the contents of the bag.

N was doing the exact same thing, “Yeah what is all this stuff?”

“Italian food,” I said simply, once again turning to look back at them. “A lot of the stuff is dried and imported, but it should still be good.”

N spent the rest of the drive attempting to read the labels on the spice jars I had bought, which proved to be entertaining enough for the entire car. Every time, he’d manage to screw it up, and I would correct him after a few attempts. But at long last, we arrived back home. We each grabbed a bag of groceries and made our way upstairs.

Once inside the VIXX apartment, everyone dropped off their stuff in the kitchen before heading back to the common room, leaving me alone to deal with the kitchen. “Need help?” Hyuk backtracked, appearing at my side.

“Actually, yeah,” I admitted, “I have no idea what supplies you have or where they are,” I rubbed the back of my neck as I scanned the relatively small room.

“I’ll do my best,” he laughed a little, “I’m not good at this stuff. I can go get Leo if you want.”

“No, no,” I was perhaps a bit hasty in my response given how Hyuk’s face twisted in confusion for a moment. “I promise, it’s not hard,” I insisted, “you’ll be perfect.”

His expression relaxed into a smile as we began getting to work. I had chosen to make chicken parmesan- something relatively fancy in concept, but quite simple in execution. I had Hyuk fetch me the pots and pans I needed before setting him to work on t the chicken. I prepped the egg wash and crust of herbs and dried parmesan cheese in little dishes.

“What’s all that for?” he asked curiously as he was finishing up the last chicken cutlet.

I walked him through each step of the process, “And once we have them all crusted, I’ll just pan fry them for a bit before baking them.” He seemed pretty excited about the battering process, so I let him take care of that after I showed him one example.

As I was getting a pot of water to boil, I suddenly heard a click. I turned to find Hongbin leaning on the arched doorway with his camera. He waved a little, “Everything going okay?”

“Yeah, I think I got everything I needed,” I responded after wiping my hands on a little towel, “Why? Are you guys getting antsy?”

He sighed, “We’re starving,” he managed to keep his voice level, but I could tell he wanted nothing more than to whine about it.

“Be patient, I have about ten more minutes to go,” I turned back to Hyuk, who was grating more cheese for me.

“I’m helping, hyung!” Hyuk called, clearly proud of himself.

“Don’t mess it up, Hyukkie!” Hongbin called back before retreating once again.

“You’re doing fine,” I assured him as I went back about my business. It wasn’t long until things were done, and I did my best to make things look fancy as I plated them. It suddenly occurred to me how strange it would be eating pasta with chopsticks. In principle it wouldn’t be much different from normal noodles, but just the concept was odd to me. After garnishing the dish with some more grated parmesan and dried basil, I stepped back to admire our work. “I think we’re done here,” I said triumphantly.

“It looks good, Mira!”

“Thanks for your help, Sanghyuk,” I gave him a little side hug, “I couldn’t have done it myself.”

We grabbed all the plates, having to balance one or two on our arms. We made it out to the couches, placing all the plates on the little table. “Wow,” Ravi’s amazed voice accompanied his quick hands, snatching a plate quickly.

There’s nothing quite like the silence of seven people all stuffing their faces with food. As I had suspected, it wasn’t quite as good as if I’d been able to make it back home, but I was still pretty pleased. “This is good,” Leo was the first to speak up, and I looked up to see him still looking down at his food as he picked apart what was left of his chicken.

As if they were waiting for the first one, they all began to speak, mostly just idle chatter, with the occasional polite compliment on the food. Once we were done, Hongbin and Ken volunteered to clean while the rest of us continued to lounge on the couches. “Hakyeon,” I called lazily from the pillow pile, “tell your management to stop scheduling you guys for things. We need to choreograph.”

N perked up at the last word, sitting up on the couch across from me, “You’re right! Luckily I think we only have a couple more days of this.”

“Any ideas for the music video?” Ravi asked, pointing at my notebook that had been abandoned on the floor nearby.

I scooted along the floor to grab it, “Yeah,” I flipped open to some of my rough sketches, “I have it pretty much storyboarded out, so I just need to get with your director and production.”

“Do you still want to come with us tomorrow?” Hyuk asked from N’s side.

I thought quickly, “Yeah, I’ll be prepared this time,” with some forethought I could definitely hide more effectively if I needed to. Luckily, that last show was not live and wouldn’t air until the end of the week, so there was no chance of other studios getting tipped off.

The chain reaction of yawning began to circle the room, signaling that it was about time we turned in for the day. Ken and Hongbin had just returned from the kitchen in time to see everyone start to struggle off of the couches. “Ah it’s about that time, hm?” Ken asked, scanning the room. He stopped in front of me, extending a hand to me. I reached up to take it, and he deftly pulled me up off of the pillow pile on the floor and under one of his arms. “Guess this is good night, professor.”

“Good night, Jaehwan,” I manage a little smile, “Thanks for helping me earlier at the store.”

“Of course,” he cooed, “No lady should go by herself,” he winked at me, reaching to pinch my cheek, “especially one as pretty and famous as you.”

I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t suppress my little giggle. The guy certainly knew how to sweet talk when he wanted to. I wriggled out from under his arm to gather my notebook. “Thanks for helping me in the kitchen, Hyukkie,” I called over my shoulder as I quickly made my way out of the apartment.

“Good night, Mira!” he called, just like he did every night he saw me. I couldn’t help but smile gently, even if no one was around to see it. Hyuk was probably one of the nicest human beings I had ever met. With that in mind, I made it to my own room.

Normally when I flopped into my bed, I was pretty good about falling asleep right away. But that night, after I had changed my clothes, brushed my teeth and all that sane and normal stuff people do before bed, I lay in my bed staring up at my ceiling, tracing the tiny ridges of the slightly textured material with my eyes. I did my best to keep my eyes open, because every time my eyes closed, a very detailed replay of Taekwoon’s face from earlier that day was stuck on loop in my mind.

“Stop it,” I muttered to myself out loud, pulling my pillow out from under my head and pressing it into my face. This will pass, I consoled myself. Damn that Ravi, I sighed into the pillow. If I hadn’t decided to try having a crush on someone for the first time in six years, I wouldn’t have developed a taste for it. That was my theory, anyway. For the first time since I had arrived here, I counted down the time until I was able to go home. My estimate was still early October, and it was nearly mid-August at that point. I chucked the pillow off of my bed in frustration. It’s not like I wanted to go home. I was loving it in Seoul, spending my days with VIXX and the other new friends I’d managed to make. So what could I do? As I began to lose my fight with sleep, I resolved that I needed to get out for a while. Maybe follow Cho Kyuhyun’s advice and have some girl time. Lazily, I composed a semi-professional message and sent it off to the three female artists I had been recommended. Tossing my phone on the floor, I let out a heavy sigh just before falling asleep.