[❤'s Boyfriend] Good morning Ji Eun (っ＾▿＾)! Please tell Eunji to have a great day for me, she's not reading my messages (╥︣﹏᷅╥)...

[Me] Ok

[❤'s Boyfriend] Thanks a lot ;)

      By the way, are you two free this weekend? I heard you guys are free from homework for a while.

[Me] I'm going to be studying.

[❤'s Boyfriend] Awh you're really building a wall here aren't ya! Don't worry, I don't plan to attack you lol

[Me] Ok.

[❤'s Boyfriend] ....

     I can still help you with your exams! As a sunbae in Seoul University (͡• ͜ʖ ͡•)

     I know all the questions that will appear on the tests.

[Me] ....

[❤'s Boyfriend] ?

[Me] Did you cheat your way into...

[❤'s Boyfriend] Nonononono I would never. I took the Psychology Major test but I messed up cause I forgot to bubble in one question and yeah...

     But the teachers told me that I would've got in with flying colors!

     Don't believe me? Ask Eunji ;)

 

Ji Eun stared at the emoticon that flashed at her, her face twisted slightly in mild annoyance, ignoring the following 'blings' that became muffled as she turned over her phone and tapped Eunji's shoulder.

"Eunji." Ji Eun called. She smiled slightly at Eunji's hunched figure that waved a single finger.

"Let me finish ma work."

"Your work? That's my homework you're copying."

"Shh shh, we don't need no unnecessary information."

"Lee Jooyeon, you're next." A student called, stepping into the classroom and sitting down with his friends.

Ji Eun watched absentmindedly as the boys bickered about what their friend talked about in the counselor room with the teacher. Something about future dreams, something about future jobs, something about future colleges, and grades.

The pen that finished printing its ink clicked satisfyingly against the old but well maintained tan table as Eunji gave a relieved sigh. She turned around along with the neatly covered notebook that announced Ji Eun's name and plopped it in front of Ji Eun.

"What's up?"

'Your boyfriend said to have a good day." Ji Eun showed her phone to Eunji, making sure to have it had scrolled up to the very first message of today.

Eunji's reading speed stopped when it noticed the heart placed next to "boyfriend" and grinned. She blinked multiple times, covering like damsel before smacking Ji Eun's shoulder in happiness.

"I'm a heart?! D'AWW JI EUN!" Eunji giggled, reaching over her chair to grab Ji Eun for a hug before the colder one of the two squinted her eyes in disgust and pushed the chair away from her.

Eunji giggled again, pulling out her phone in a rush after she'd read the full message.

"I didn't get no message!" Eunji frowned, her eyes darting up, brows furrowing the opposite way. "Did I use all my data already???" Eunji winced, "Oh man if ah did, Mum's going to kill me."

Ji Eun rolled her eyes, a smile resting on her lips as she waited patiently for Eunji to read the rest of the unfinished conversation.

"Yeah, Woohyun oppa is almost close to a genius." Eunji smirked proudly, "He's in the top 30 ranks for the whole school. The teachers even told him to run for school president since he was so good at being social but he said no."

"Why?" Ji Eun raised her brow.

"He said he should take care of his little brother. His little brother is extremely weak and feeble apparently..." Eunji trailed off with a sympathetic frown, but then it morphed into a lovestruck smile and she sighed with her hands clutched to her chest.

"Ain't that so-" Eunji squirmed and squealed a squeal that definitely was supposed to be words, "UGH. He is so perfect and cute and hot and romantic and cute and perfect and da best and-"

Eunji stopped, when she noticed her best friend's expression which was far from Eunji's dreamy smile. She sighed, shaking her head.

"You'll understand one day. Ah'm going ta make sure of it." Eunji clicked her tongue, her fingers quickly typing a reply to her beloved Woohyun oppa, her back swirling to Ji Eun in shift of attention.

Ji Eun scoffed, promising herself that she'd never become like her other half and looked down at her phone when it made a buzz.

 

 [❤'s Boyfriend] Great! See you this Friday then ;)

 

Ji Eun's eyes darted at Eunji and her hand snapped forward at the unsuspecting girl. She pulled at her collar, gently enough so it wouldn't rip but hard enough to create a 'ECK' sound from the victim's mouth that resonated from the throat.

"What did you do?" Ji Eun sighed, the heat of annoyance seeping from her eyes as Eunji rubbed in exaggerated pain.

"Ah just said that we'd go to Woohyun oppa's house to study." Eunji pouted, smacking Ji Eun's shoulder in revenge, "Ya really need to fix that violent side of yours."

Ji Eun gave small pat on Eunji's back and made the last one stay.

"I wouldn't be so violent if you weren't so selfish. I don't like your 'oppa', he's too flirtatious. It's uncomfortable being around him." Ji Eun pressed against Eunji's back, rubbing the soft cotton before going back to her book.

"But I want the people I love most in the world to like eachotha! Why not just try n' get to know 'im?" Eunji pouted, this time with puppy eyes. "He's not actually trying to be flirty, that's just his way of being friendly. You, need to stop analyzing him." Eunji peered.

"I didn't analyze him, he just gives off that creep vibe." Ji Eun snapped, quick to pour water over the accusation. She leaned back in her chair and put her phone on mute after noticing there were no messages from the guy. "Also, he's too loud." She added, making Eunji chuckle.

"Please? For me?" Eunji grinned, "I need the extra help anyways. I want to know how to get into the Arts Department."

"....................................Fine."

"YES!" Eunji smiled, raising her two hands above her head. "You can learn about the psychology department and I can learn about them arts. Ain't that convenient."

"Hm."

"Talking about da psychology department..." Eunji trailed off, pulling her chair closer to Ji Eun's desk in little scoots. "What do you think the teachers will say when they see our career sheet?  You know they want ya to try for arts. Do you think they'll say anything about ma college choices? I did pick Seoul University, but my academic grades..." Eunji groaned.

"Who cares. Besides, you're applying for the Arts, I doubt they'll put that much attention on grades. Don't forget you got full As for Chorus so if you just tell them you'll be applying for the Vocal Department and that you want to become a singer they'll let you off easy." Ji Eun shrugged, flipping the page of her book.

"Yeah but what if they talk about ya?"

"Me?" Ji Eun's hand stopped over a sentence on the book, her eyes trailing up to meet her friend's. "What do you mean if they'll talk about me? What do I have to do with your career choices."

"Cold much?" Eunji made a face that scrunched her nose, "Never mind."

"No, tell me." Ji Eun straightened her back, sitting up from her chair and fully closing her book.

Eunji hesitated and pressed her lips together. She seemed to think of the consequences and probably decided they wouldn't be that big.

She didn't take into account that her emotions were bubbling and it wasn't her fault, no one could blame her, that it just so happened that her hormones were becoming loose on that very day.

Or maybe she was just letting out some built up thoughts and she was using Mother Nature as an excuse.

"It's just that, they always make sure that I know yer better than me."

Ji Eun recoiled back slowly, like a threatening snake with its venom ready to shoot was slowly inching up on her. Her face was contorted with confusion, eyes wide and surprised.

"Like, I know they don't mean to put me down. I don't get put down." Eunji rolled her eyes, "It's just that they always tell me that I should learn from you and study harder so that I can get in the same college with you."

"And what college is that?" Ji Eun scoffed, "I didn't even get the career sheet since I was running an errand for a teacher."

"Seoul University, duh."

Eunji smiled, but it seemed weak, almost irritated at the fact she had to say the words herself. It made Ji Eun scared. Especially the way that lighthearted word at the end stabbed her like the end of a dagger that she thought was rubber.

"Seoul University." Eunji repeated, and it was a lot of neutral. Maybe she realized she was being not her usual self.

"They've been saying you'd be going to Seoul University or even overseas. They say that if I drag you down because I'm yer friend, you're goin' ta waste that brain and talent of yours." Eunji laughed, her smile wide and uncaring.

"Oh! An' remember when Ms. Jung told us that we could ask her for backstage musical access anytime last week? Well, that day when ya said you were studying, I thought I'd go to one of the musicals that Ms. Jung helped coached." Eunji's eyes zoned in on Ji Eun's book, focusing on nothing. "Well guess what? I asked, she said that ah should bring you if I wanted any real experience."

Eunji laughed, but her face pulled downwards, a mixture of anger rising to the top.

"Like, what does that even mean? That I'm nothing without you?"

Ji Eun stayed silent, freezing at the weight of people's eyes resting on the two. The whispers of gossip slowly rose and Ji Eun held Eunji's arm which was firmly placed on her table, angry and stubborn.

"Hey." Ji Eun gently whispered, her grip gentle but firm.

Eunji's eyes snapped up.

"We don't need to make a story for people." Ji Eun said, blinking slowly at Eunji, relaxed and calm.

Reassuring.

The anger that was flaring in Eunji's eyes seemed to clap out at Ji Eun's words and the angry Eunji that was momentarily in control was slapped away by the usual Eunji, the latter scrambling to pick up the remains as cool as she could.

"Eunji! Your turn."

The two friends looked up from eachother to the oblivious student that stood in the doorway, waiting for Eunji's response. Eunji let out a deep sigh and smiled apologetically.

"Sorry Jiji... I don't know why I snapped like that." Eunji grumbled, embarrassed at herself.

"No, it's okay." Ji Eun shrugged, "Just tell me when you have something to say when you want to. Or else it'll built up again and you'll get stressed."

Eunji nodded and got up, smiling comfortably and directly at the peeking eyes, silently threatening them to make a move. The eyes looked away and they acted as if they weren't interested, then finally went back to their conversations they were having before.

"Eunji."

Eunji turned around, her hand in the middle of pushing her chair in.

"If you have any problems... Any at all..." Ji Eun started.

"Just tell me. Please. It's kind of scary when you're mad."

Eunji let out a laugh that illuminated Ji Eun again, the truth glowing so brightly that even people who may have wanted to ignore the light would have no choice but the squint at the rays that beamed from Eunji.

"Yep!"

With that simple response, Eunji skipped light heartily, even greeting the waiting student before skipping out of Ji Eun's sight.

Ji Eun let the smile on her face fall in relaxation, hands smoothing over the cover of her book.

Then she noticed she was biting her lip.

Biting her lip.

Ji Eun sighed, shaking her head of the nervous thoughts that bubbled up, making them fizz to nothing.

It's nothing. Nothing is wrong. Everything is fine. Just a common friendly quarrel in a common friendship.

No it's not, something is wrong. Very wrong. What is it?

I don't know. Let's not know. I'm tired. Who cares if we don't know what's wrong?

But what if something happens? What if she leaves?

Then we'll go back to being just 'me'.

But I don't like being just me. I like being with Eunji.

Stop worrying! There's nothing wrong. You're just being jealous because she has a boyfriend now.

Ohhh... Really?

Yeah, that's why you've been feeling like something was wrong ever since she started meeting that Woohyun.

Hm.

Remember, don't anaylze. It's just a feeling.

...But what if that feeling isn't just a feeling and I'm actually ri-

"Ji Eun! Teach's calling for you."

Ji Eun's head snapped up, blinking.

What in the- Did time really go by that fast? How many people went after Eunji?

Ji Eun winced.

Her bottom lip hurt.

"Earth to Ji Eun!"

Ji Eun stood up and briskly walked over to her classmate, looking around the classroom.

"Where's Eunji?"

"She said she'd be in the bathroom."

Ji Eun nodded and stepped out, the cold air of the autumn wind seeping into her bones which sent a shiver down her spine.

 

By the time she was opening the counselor's office room, she adjusted to the temperature and her lip was only red from the bites.

"Ji Eun. You can sit down here." The counselor made room for her, the radiator hissing softly as the steam rose from its white bars, spreading heat.

The counselor's slender and carefully polished fingers pointed to the black sofa in the corner, expensive rings adjourning her fingers and a thin gold bracelet clinging to her thin wrist momentarily distracted Ji Eun.

Ji Eun did as she was told and waited as the counselor flipped the career sheets futilely.

"I didn't fill out a career form." Ji Eun mumbled.

"Oh, I know. I'm just looking for- ah! Found it." The counselor smiled, her tooth wide and white. Her round brown glasses tinkled in the light and it sent a sharp beam of light right into Ji Eun's eyes, making her squint.

She shifted her place to the farther right of the black cheap sofa that was warm from all the visitors. The fabric made her legs itchy, years of survival making the once soft sofa making it rough and patchy. Ji Eun blinked at the floor, white and neat like the counselor's teeth, carefully polished just like the glass cases and clean cabinets of files of files of files....

"Now, I just want to make sure Ji Eun. You do have a future job or dream you want to accomplish am I right?"

"Not yet, but I want to try studying psychology."

"That's great, that's great! Anything else?"

"I like writing. Maybe I'll be an author."

"Mm. A very hard career to live off of unless you're extremely talented and lucky." The counselor smiled again, encouragement falling short of the excessive brightness it was giving. "Have you ever thought of singing?"

Ah-hah. Here was the real question.

"I like singing too."

The counselor's eyes glinted greedily at the word 'singing' but the forced eye smile concealed it quickly.

"Now Ji Eun, you're a smart girl. I'm sure you notice that you have excelling grades, you could even apply for the second year of college and pass with ease right now." She smiled, bringing her fingers together, "But you also have amazing talent in the Vocal Department. Do you have any plan in becoming a singer?"

"No."

The counselor's smile faltered and her manicure clicked together as she tapped the air between her fingers.

"No?" She sighed dramatically, "But you have so many offers and scholarships from schools like from famous universities that specialize in the Vocal Department like-"

"I don't really care how good the school is, I don't really care about singing." Ji Eun stressed the word 'care', making sure to settle her thumping heart.

Was it because she was angry at the counselor who so obviously hinting to what she should choose as her future or what it because she was angry at lying to herself? Why was she even lying to herself?

Eunji. You can't break your friendship with Eunji, you know she'll be jealous but you want to sing don't you? You like reading but you like singing more don't you?

Ji Eun gripped her knees, her knuckles turning white.

"Ji Eun." The counselor's eyes darted from the student's hands and her smile wavered with worry. "Do you have any problems? The teachers have been telling me that you've shown so much passion, never mind talent, for singing, that it was a shock to them when you said that you had no plan on becoming a singer."

Ji Eun didn't respond.

"You must know that you're quite an issue for the teachers. especially Ms. Jung and Mrs. Lee. They both really would love to hear and see you sing on stage as a career. I'm only even mentioning this because I've seen how happy you've looked when you sing compared to when you study or write or even read."

Ji Eun bit down on her bottom lip, brows furrowing.

"I like singing. I like reading. I like writing." Ji Eun mumbled.

But I like having Eunji most. I like having a real, actual friend.

"But I have no interest in actually pursuing them as a career."

The counselor's analyzing eyes faltered and widened, to a normal 30 year old woman who was just trying to do her job and her straight back with authority leaned back from Ji Eun, shell shocked by the look in Ji Eun's eyes.

Or more accurately, the absence of anything in Ji Eun's eyes.

Her eyes were cold, neutral, not lying or telling the truth. She wasn't shivering from the cold anything and in fact, she couldn't really feel anything except for the fact that she had to keep her secret hidden, and that she couldn't show any adult what she was truly feeling.

It was as if she was a robot and her command was to :

Just swallow and let it flow. Don't ruin what's already perfect.

But was it really?