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Admitting his hands were just a bit sweaty was difficult for Chanyeol as he stood in front of Baekhyun’s apartment with home-made porridge. Although he had grown out of his teenage insecurities quickly with being an idol now – this was something new for him. He had a lot of stupid excuses for being here, like making up for having Baekhyun sing on a day off – something Chanyeol knew Baekhyun couldn’t appreciate.

The door opened and a groggy-looking Baekhyun appeared. Chanyeol felt a tad bit sorry – maybe he should have let Baekhyun sleep another while but he had especially cleared his day so no. Besides, it was around noon, so it wasn’t as if Baekhyun couldn’t have slept in.

“I actually didn’t think you were serious,” Baekhyun said, looking a little bashful and Chanyeol was reminded – he had a thing for Baekhyun after all. He held the door open for Chanyeol to enter his apartment and once again, the tall man felt himself getting a little bit nervous.

“I wouldn’t joke around about that,” he said absentmindedly, although it was the truth. He took in Baekhyun’s humble hallway, finding it neater than he thought it would be. Baekhyun didn’t reply and instead offered him something to drink and Chanyeol replied it would be the last thing Baekhyun would do for him today because he was going to try and take care of him instead.

When the shorter of the two was seated on the couch, blanket draped around his shoulders while sitting cross-legged, Chanyeol stood up, probably more awkwardly than he wanted to.

“I brought something – I hoped to be of some help,” he said, showing the bag in which the porridge sat in a sealable bowl. “It’s porridge, so I hope you like it,” he mumbled, feeling a more insecure than he wanted to. If anything, he should show shy Baekhyun that he at least wasn’t all that scared of interaction. It was all so different from his imagination though – seeing how he never thought he would meet Baekhyun at his own place being overworked.

“Oh. Well. You shouldn’t have though. I mean, I’m quite alright and–” He talked too much, Chanyeol thought, he had too many things to say instead of appreciating help for once.

“I’ll heat it up,” he cut the short man off. He remembered in time to smile, something he had had a little bit of difficulty with in high school. He had learned well enough though and he had already shown Baekhyun that when they coincidentally met the last few times. Baekhyun visibly deflated and although it felt like a small victory, Chanyeol couldn’t help but be bothered by the state the man was in. He didn’t mention it though and went into the kitchen to heat up the porridge but when he came back, Baekhyun was asleep.

Had it been a bad idea to come over, especially with the condition Baekhyun was in now? Chanyeol was hesitating, but he didn’t think he had been wrong. Now he could adjust Baekhyun’s blanket so it was covering him better. And he would just reheat the porridge when he’d wake up. The only thing that concerned him was that he didn’t know what to do until that time. He remembered the times when he imagined something like this would happen, but he didn’t think about this particular detail.

He barely had time to think about a solution though because Baekhyun shot awake and looked around as if he had seen a ghost. When his eyes landed on Chanyeol, he heaved a long sigh and the tall man looked back at him in question.

“I shouldn’t have fallen asleep. God that’s about the worst that could happen,” Baekhyun mumbled, mostly to himself but Chanyeol heard him just fine. A soft smile appeared on his lips because this was yet another thing.

“It’s alright, I know. It’s probably me who shouldn’t have come here,” Chanyeol said and he somewhat regretted it because what if Baekhyun agreed and sent him home? To his horror, Baekhyun took his time replying to his indirect suggestion.

“What? No. Of course that’s not right. I’ll eat, instead.” Relieved and amused, Chanyeol handed the bowl with a spoon to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun ate in silence and Chanyeol waited for any kind of comment, but he got none at all. Somehow it bothered him, but he wouldn’t ask for it either. Then suddenly, when Chanyeol stared into the distance, Baekhyun broke his chain of thought with a question he should have seen coming but didn’t – not really.

“Why did you come here?” It sounded like Baekhyun was hesitating, unsure of whether to ask or not, but probably eager to hear the answer too. Chanyeol tried coming up with the best excuse he could think of, but now that the moment was there, he had a lot more difficulty doing so than he thought. He could well imagine it would be random of him to come here – from Baekhyun’s perspective, not from his own.

“I was worried,” he blurted and because it stayed silent, he knew Baekhyun probably expected a little bit more than that. However, Chanyeol wasn’t sure and all of a sudden, he felt that surge of insecurity again.

“Why would you worry about me…” Baekhyun said softly and Chanyeol frowned at the tone – Baekhyun was worth worrying about more than most people he knew a lot better.

“Well – because I… I made you sing,” he said, barely able to keep himself from stuttering the words. He felt too stupid for acting so flustered, it hadn’t been like that before. Maybe it was because he was genuinely afraid that Baekhyun was on to him. “So I’m partly responsible.”

Baekhyun didn’t reply but looked down on his lap where the bowl of porridge – now nearly empty – still sat. Chanyeol seriously considered giving up and suggesting he’d go home, but he kept himself from it because he still wanted… something. He wasn’t done yet – he wanted to be comfortable with Baekhyun, at least.

“You know what the doctor told me?” Baekhyun asked all of a sudden and Chanyeol merely looked up at him, seeing how he still glanced down. “I need to stop working one of my jobs.” Baekhyun sounded as if it meant the world to him and Chanyeol understood – he wouldn’t be able to live without working hard to earn his living. But that was when Chanyeol wondered about exactly what he had said.

“One of your jobs?” He didn’t just work at the bar then? How well had he really done his research before barging into his life? Chanyeol felt so stupid he would be able to hit himself in the face – if it hadn’t been for Baekhyun to sit right there. He didn’t get an elaborate reply though, just a nod. “I didn’t know,” was all Chanyeol said then. It was weird, seeing Baekhyun seemingly more down at the idea of quitting a job than the idea of sitting at home because his body could take it no longer.

“But I can’t just stop,” Baekhyun finally continued. He sounded as if he needed a friend to be there, not Chanyeol, because they didn’t know each other well and Chanyeol didn’t know the right words to say. The only thing he knew was that if he could, he’d take all of Baekhyun’s burdens and more.

“Is there anything I can do?” he asked with the most optimistic voice he could muster. Baekhyun looked up briefly to meet Chanyeol’s eyes, but he then focused on a point behind him.

“If you could just stay here for a while, that’s good enough,” he said and Chanyeol’s heart clenched painfully. That was barely even a request at all. He would think of something, anything. Yet, Baekhyun acknowledged him as someone he wanted around and that was something Chanyeol couldn’t overlook. A bright smile formed on his face and he knew Baekhyun noticed because the tips of his ears went red and Chanyeol could – for the very short moment it lasted – not be happier. “Unless you have, like, a busy schedule.” Chanyeol quickly shook his head, the smile not fading.

“Not today.”

After a little while of silence and some small talk, Baekhyun seemed to be slipping away every now and then. Chanyeol could easily see that it hurt to keep his eyes opened and he hated being the reason why the man tried so hard. At the same time he felt honored, but the guilt was stronger. He wanted to tell Baekhyun he’d leave, but he didn’t have the heart.

“You can go sleep,” he said and knew Baekhyun was already nearly asleep anyway. It all made Chanyeol wonder just how hard Baekhyun must have been pretending to be alright for a very long time.

“Will you be there when I wake up?” Baekhyun already had his eyes closed and Chanyeol wondered if what he heard, was really what he heard, but he didn’t reply because what if he had heard wrong? Besides, the short man seemed to be asleep already. He wanted to stay although he had no clue of what to do until he’d wake up again – he didn’t even know when that would happen. For the time being, he took his phone from his pocket and was glad he had put it on silent mode because he was flooded with texts and missed calls from various people from his company. They needed him there. As soon as possible – but Chanyeol didn’t want to leave. He had to though – in the eyes of SM entertainment, he was replaceable and he knew that well enough.

He tucked in Baekhyun because there was nothing more he could do. Then he went to find a piece of paper and a pen and he wrote some words on it. Then, with the strangest feeling in his chest, he let his hand cup Baekhyun’s cheek. The short man’s eyes fluttered as if ready to open at any time and Chanyeol panicked, nearly ran out of the door.