Sorry that took a while! I was at my friend's, Tripping-Panda -- and I wrote on another story while I was there ^^'

But thank you so much for subscribing! I hope it's not completely disappointing though because it is to me

--

ing Sehun

Another text from the same number and it was then that Baekhyun realized he had been getting the previous text not from Chanyeol’s number, but a different one. God. He decided now was the time to add both to his phone – anything to prevent confusion like this in the future.

Oh my god I’m so sorry- Sehun took my phone and just sent that- I mean, I can’t, of course not-

Baekhyun wasn’t sure what to say, but he was kind of amused, though hoping he wouldn’t come off like that to Chanyeol.

It’s alright

Baekhyun replied, although even he wasn’t sure what was alright; Jongin apologizing for Sehun, or the weird text asking him out for lunch. He thought it better to clarify it at least a bit seeing Jongin was already flustered enough.

I’m kind of busy at work tomorrow though, so I’m not sure ^^’

Besides, he thought, did he even want to go on a date with him? Well he was rather sure Chanyeol didn’t see him like that at all, but he also didn’t see Jongin as a potential … lover. No, he didn’t. But maybe the idea needed to grow on him or something? Maybe he was just thinking too much again – seeing as it was Sehun who had sent the text in the first place and not Jongin. He rolled his eyes at himself, it didn’t even feel right thinking there might actually be someone out there who liked him that way.

Jongin didn’t reply for a while and that made Baekhyun only feel worse, he had assumed things that weren’t true and even burdened someone else with them. He tossed and turned, realizing it had been a rather long time since Chanyeol said anything as well and he knew that he was acting like an obsessed little girl, but he couldn’t help it. He shook his head at himself, he had to go to sleep, but annoyingly enough, sleep wouldn’t come until way too late.

In fact it was so late that Baekhyun felt as if he hadn’t slept a wink when his alarm went off and he felt worse than ever before. With dread, he checked if any messages had come in when he had turned his phone on silent mode for the night and saw Jongin had sent another apologizing text and Baekhyun shook his head once more. He was hopeless, but he felt a little better knowing Jongin was too. He thought it painfully obvious that they weren’t meant to be together at all and Sehun was just being a little – he hadn’t even said anything about it himself.

Chanyeol still hadn’t replied. But what was there to say, really? He shoved the thoughts aside, ready for work – or so he hoped, because his brain felt like goo and his body even more so. He wondered why he suddenly felt that bad, but reasoned with himself that maybe it wasn’t so weird and working two jobs was maybe not such a good idea – but having money was, so what choice did he have?

He stumbled out the front door and realized for the first time that, , it really wasn’t good. He had been pushing it aside for the sake of money, but if he were to be honest with himself, he knew all along that what he was doing was wrong.

There wasn’t any time to think about his stupid decisions because as soon as he got to his office, he was swamped with work. He tried holding on to the one thing that always kept him going, the routine, but he soon felt nausea wash over him and a light-headedness that wanted him to just close his eyes already. He missed his lunch break, told himself he had no time for it because if he got all this done on time, he would feel proud of himself and he could get on with his other job without lingering thoughts about administration from a museum he wasn’t even at.

But his eyes slid closed and he couldn’t force himself to wake up anymore.

Kyungsoo drove him home after a visit to the doctor – he needed serious rest. However hearing from someone else that it was best to give up one of his jobs for the sake of his health made Baekhyun feel terrible. Maybe he just had a weak moment? Nevertheless, he couldn’t even thank Kyungsoo to the extent that he was actually grateful.

“I didn’t think it was this bad,” Kyungsoo said, voice only quiet. He had made sure Baekhyun was securely wrapped in blankets on his couch, a bowl of soup in his hands. “I mean, I could see you were getting tired, but I didn’t expect…” he trailed off and didn’t continue. Baekhyun wasn’t sure what to reply.

“Thank you for driving me home, it means a lot,” Baekhyun said instead, trying to pour out some of the feelings inside his chest, but that had never been his strongest point.

“No, it’s nothing, really,” he replied and Baekhyun thought he was being rather open because he was usually rather quiet and now he did all these things for him which he didn’t have to. “If you need anything, call me, really.” Baekhyun smiled sincerely to that, feeling better already. Maybe it was just a one-time thing, he told himself, since he was already starting to get over it.

“Thanks. I will be okay for now though, so don’t worry.” He didn’t really want Kyungsoo to leave – he liked bonding with him and he didn’t really want to be alone. He thought. Because his body craved sleep and a blank mind.

He noticed that quickly after Kyungsoo had left and he could relax completely. He quickly gave Minseok a call that he couldn’t be there tonight and although it was short notice, he understood since he knew the situation Baekhyun was in too. His manager told him he had a small list of people to fill in if necessary anyway, so it wasn’t too much of a problem.

His boss at the museum had also easily told him to take his time figuring his stuff out and while it reassured him that they would all do fine, he also felt like he was replaceable. That made him sad – they’d just hire a new file manager if he stopped working there. And as for the bar, it wouldn’t be hard to find another bartender – it was a popular enough job.

No more thinking, he told himself, he needed to recover quickly so these people wouldn’t feel the need to replace him. Then he’d still be in control of his own life, instead of financial insecurities. He lay himself down gently after finishing his soup, feeling nice and full, and as soon as he did, he slipped into a deep sleep. He dreamed about many things, but the main theme was fear of losing everything he had worked so hard for.

He woke up with a thin sheet of sweat covering his forehead and his hair stuck there too. He shivered although he was covered in blankets, but knew it wouldn’t be as effective as sleeping in his bed. Yet, he felt no desire to stand up so he curled himself up, wondering what time it was by now. He unlocked his phone and a message from Chanyeol stood there waiting for him to be read. He thought he’d be extremely excited whenever there would be a new text, or maybe he thought he would have cowered away in fear of what it might be about, but in his current state of being down, he didn’t care too much at all before opening it.

Wait- you said you weren’t angry, but really, aren’t you? Because I thought you’d work tonight and you’re not here and I can’t help but blame myself… ^^’ that must sound stupid and self-centered, but I have to ask.

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow. Why was Chanyeol at the bar anyway? Not that he didn’t feel flattered because of course he was, it was just weird. There was no special business there tonight and he had already called Minseok so he wasn’t under the impression that he might be even singing. But then it hit Baekhyun that Chanyeol was blaming himself and Baekhyun might not have been clear and his stupid blank face just always covered up what he felt.

Did he tell Chanyeol the truth though? Would Chanyeol be interested in the uninteresting truth? And, to Baekhyun more importantly, did he knew Chanyeol well enough to be telling him such a personal thing? He decided yes, because he didn’t like lying.

I overworked myself so I’m taking the night off

It wouldn’t just be tonight, but Baekhyun sent the text like that. For now, he really wanted to sleep again, seeing it was around twelve and his eyes were burning. Well, that was probably because of the lack of light in the room in contrast to his phone too, but that didn’t bother Baekhyun much. He agreed with himself that getting up to go to bed was the best option to get better soon, so he stopped listening to his tired legs and stood up. He needed to wear his pajamas anyway.

Oh. I really am self-centered. Are you alright? :(

Baekhyun snorted, reading the message after settling in his much more comfortable bed, the duvet pulled up to his chin and his hands poking out with his phone in them.

I’d say ‘sure’ to make you feel better, but I’m not. I will be though, so no worries

He felt like a whiny kid. And many other things. He was getting attention from Chanyeol though and he didn’t feel half as nervous as he had only the day before. It seemed a little funny to him though that Chanyeol seemed to care – they had barely seen each other at school and even less after that.

Well I’d stop by tomorrow but I don’t know your address… Am I pushy? o-o

Despite everything, Baekhyun laughed and it surprised himself. He wondered what to reply for a while and figured he had to do it quickly before falling asleep.

You’re not pushy- you’re funny. I’m sure you’re busy enough, but here’s my address. Don’t sweat it if you can’t make it though.

After pressing send, he put his phone on silent mode, under his pillow, and he buried himself in the soft material of his duvet. He was going to sleep like he had never slept before – not even thinking about the possibility of Chanyeol coming over tomorrow, having accepted the fate of having friends now that he was in quite bad health.