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When Baekhyun entered the bar through the front door instead of the back, like he usually did, he caught a glimpse of a face that seemed too familiar to him, but he couldn’t be sure because the man had been wearing a snapback. He wanted to think nothing much of it because he had other things to do anyway – like working his shift as a bartender for instance – but the tall man kept coming back to his thoughts.

“Jongdae. What the hell,” he complained all of a sudden to his coworker, a young man his age who he had befriended pretty quickly after starting here. He had needed a job back in college to pay for the fees and managed to stay afterwards.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me Chanyeol was here?”

“What, are you two suddenly close or something? He’s famous Baek, get over yourself,” Jongdae replied in an unusually y tone. Baekhyun quickly grew annoyed, although he hadn’t any reason to do so.

“At least I talked to him in high school,” he said as he mindlessly wiped the already clean counter.

“Once,” was Jongdae’s snarky reply and Baekhyun rolled his eyes.

“That’s more than you have to your obvious crush.” Baekhyun looked over in the direction of a guy laughing with a small group of friends a little ways away inside the bar that was rather dark. Jongdae didn’t reply to that anymore and Baekhyun got the impression he was being like this because of his crush, so maybe it wasn’t really all that nice to press it. However, Baekhyun was curious since he had just seen a rapper come out of the bar he worked at, something he wouldn’t really have imagined.

“You’re singing tomorrow night, right?” Jongdae suddenly asked, confirming the already known schedule – something Baekhyun wasn’t always too fond of, but he tolerated it from his friends. When his mom pulled that stuff on him when he still lived at home – he would be capable of flipping tabled even if it was no big deal to others. He had some nasty personality disorders, he’d admit that – but not to just anyone.

“Yeah, why?” he asked after sighing, which Jongdae wouldn’t be able to hear over the music being played. In the meantime, he helped some customers and had no problem smiling politely for them.

“Just checking, sorry,” he said with a roll of his eyes, more than aware of Baekhyun and his pressure points. Baekhyun frowned, he hated that side of himself more than anything and didn’t want to bother anyone with it.

“Sorry. I’ll work on it, promise.”

“Sure.”

The rest of Jongdae’s shift, they practically ignored each other. They were friends, but Baekhyun knew when the other man needed his space and he sure looked like he did today. Besides that, Jongdae didn’t want to trigger a Baekhyun freaking out over nothing at all – something he had seen once, and that was enough to be scarred for life. Baekhyun just liked control, he told himself, but he knew he was lying because that wasn’t the only reason. He had never had the chance to actually talk to someone about it, someone with the ability to help him, that is.

When it was time to close up and Baekhyun was left alone with the manager who was still in the office, he knocked on the man’s door. He told him he was going to lock the place and go home for the night, although he knew he didn’t really have to report that in. He just did, because it had become a habit in the time when Minseok didn’t quite trust him yet because he had been around for a short time. Since then, Baekhyun did it nearly unconsciously.

It was weird seeing Chanyeol on television for the first time. He had liked the tall boy for some time already, but Baekhyun wasn’t comfortable around anyone he liked more than he should. He had the most meaningless conversation with the other man only one week prior to his debut and Baekhyun felt weirded out because he didn’t expect it to happen so soon. Chanyeol had gone for a lame school interview for the school’s monthly newspaper and that was when Baekhyun ran into him. He wasn’t sure if he even had to say something, but he wanted to, so he said hi. And Chanyeol nodded only – he was completely nervous for this interview – before he said what he was about to do. Baekhyun wished him luck. Even thinking about it afterwards, he knew there was nothing more he could have said.

Baekhyun thought about that one time they had met when he got home and finally sat down after a long day. He worked two jobs because he couldn’t manage with just being a bartender, but when he got a job at a museum as a file manager, he couldn’t bring himself to give up on his old job either. It meant exhaustion most of the time, but it mostly meant satisfaction to him as he had never been one to be able to sit still and not do anything for a long time.

He hadn’t spoken to Chanyeol any more than that one time and although he had regretted it for a long time, Baekhyun thought he was quite over him. Although each time he met someone, they weren’t cool enough – because that was what he saw Chanyeol as – they probably couldn’t rap, they weren’t as good looking and they didn’t have that bright smile that looked like it could swallow you whole if you didn’t watch out. He didn’t really try comparing everyone to him, but it happened in the back of his mind – like just another of the habits he couldn’t seem to shake off.

He knew he needed to get to bed soon because even though he never had the early shift, he still had to be there at nine which meant he had about six hours of sleep. The bar closed at one every night, but luckily, it wasn’t far from his apartment. It was all worth it, he told himself, he was able to live comfortably after all, without having to worry about money. Maybe his social life was kind of dead though. But that was exactly the reason why he couldn’t give up working with Jongdae – plus the extra money of course.

Stop thinking, Baekhyun, he told himself when he turned in his bed yet again. He was so sick of this thinking all the time, but what was there he could do? If he’d still live with his mom, she’d have told him to find a girlfriend, but that was pretty much out of the question for him and getting a boyfriend instead seemed not to be an option either with his ridiculously high standards. But having someone to cuddle with seemed nice.

Although he wasn’t too fond of Starbucks, he overslept and hadn’t had the time for his comfortable cup of coffee at home and didn’t see much of a different choice than buying one. He had his briefcase in one hand and the coffee in the other while he rushed to get to the subway. Sadly for him, getting an apartment close to both of his jobs hadn’t been possible and it took around half an hour to get to the museum in the city center. He was late though, today, and he hated how everything seemed to take longer whenever he was in a hurry. He got to the station just in time and ran after scanning his card and barely made it through the closing doors while saving his coffee and briefcase. He sighed in relief, but held his breath just as quickly when he caught the presence that seemed to be left unknown by the other passengers.

Again wearing a snapback, Chanyeol sat, resting his head against one of those metal poles and his eyes were falling shut. Baekhyun was mesmerized and simply confused that he had to suddenly see this man twice in two days after having seen his face on TV only for the past five years. He didn’t want to stare – he could get caught after all – but somehow today, he couldn’t tear his eyes from the guy he used to like so much it seemed like an obsession.

Chanyeol’s eyes shot open as his head bumped violently against the pole due to the subway not so nicely shaking through a turn right and his eyes landed unfortunately on Baekhyun’s – who had completely forgotten about his morning coffee anyway. They weren’t close enough for Baekhyun to wave at him and he was too dumbstruck to even smile so he just stood there, his lips only slightly parted while Chanyeol looked back at him. Very slowly, a smile formed on the taller man’s face before he abruptly looked away and stood up to leave at the next stop.