He never did stop loving her, of course, and I knew that secretly in his heart he was still pursuing her. It may be a childish and stubborn part of Jaejoong, but it was also something that was a tad bit admirable for he is one to never give up. Which would explain why he’s a broke musician.

            But now that you know how he and I met Ae Ri, I bet you’re wondering how we met each other. The story is kind of classy and old, something that would have seemed to pop out of a shoujo manga. Kim Jaejoong and I were next door neighbors back in our hometown. Since our city was small and far from the entertaining night life of Seoul, it was mostly filled with older people. There was only one high school and almost everyone knew each other’s life and family. Jaejoong and I connected on a level that we wanted more than—as Belle from Beauty and the Beast stated—this provincial town. It was hard to convince the townspeople that we desired something much more than was provided for us as they laughed and assumed that we’ll stay exactly where we were born. It was even harder to convince our parents that we wanted to leave to the bigger world. It may have been selfish of us for being dreamers, but we felt strong in having a different view from others. The only reason our parents let us free into the busy city of Seoul was because we had each other’s back, support, and encouragement. He was my ally as much as I was his.

            And maybe that’s why he didn’t continue to court Ae Ri, because I didn’t have his back when it came to that. I had my reasons why I couldn’t agree with him. I didn’t want to see him lose a blossoming friendship with Tae Hyun that seemed to be going somewhere (he rarely made friends), I didn’t want to see him cry from Ae Ri’s rejection, but honestly I was just protecting myself. Jaejoong and I may talk about dreams and even though it looks like I’ve reached mine first, I actually still haven’t achieved the part where I’ll wake up every morning to see him lying beside me.

            But as much as I try to prevent the pain of jealousy mixed with anger and sadness, it still came along with guilt. The guilt of not encouraging him like I always had. Jaejoong no doubt must’ve felt the same towards Tae Hyun with the thoughts of wanting Ae Ri to himself. And the thing is, we both felt so hopeless in our situation. No longer a