Ae Ri’s funeral was filled with lilies, of course. Everyone who came to visit her brought bouquets of it and they were planted everywhere around her gravestone. Like the time Tae Hyun passed, our eyes by then were all dried and drained from the massive amount of tears that were shed. We had become just as lifeless as the beauty before us.

            It was hard to find normalcy all over again. Pretending you’re fine in front of customers, in front of friends, in front of yourself when you look into the mirror. But trying your best to cover those burned eyes of sleepless nights with makeup doesn’t necessarily work.

            It was a little bit different from before though. When it was Tae Hyun, I had been the mother hen and taken care of everyone, especially Ae Ri, because I knew she was mostly affected by it. But now, I could barely take care of myself. I was exhausted mentally and the work at the café was dragging me down physically. I hadn’t hired someone to replace Ae Ri’s position and honestly I don’t think I want to. Doing so would mean that she is really gone.

            With Yoochun, Yuri, and Junsu, they seem to be able to take care of themselves. And when I say that, I meant that they were still visiting the shop and trying to smile to one another even though it was painful to raise those lips. Jaejoong was the one I was worried about. He had stopped crying like the rest of us, in fact, he stopped way before we all did. But what scares me the most is that he started drinking heavily and being reckless. His temper had risen and he would have many outbursts from of nowhere, driving my customers away. I had tried to calm him, I had tried to take care of him, but he refused. Never letting anyone comfort his broken heart. I would be lying if I said that that didn’t hurt me or bother me. And it still does all the way to today.

            It’s been two years since Ae Ri’s death and Jaejoong was more distant than ever from the group. Little by little, we all began to laugh and chuckle here and there again, but Jaejoong never did. He wore this cold façade and would rarely interact with anyone. He’ll do his performance every Friday, sober thankfully, and leave. I don’t miss the fact that he had become a less energetic performer. He doesn’t really come to the shop anymore either, unless he was way beyond drunk and that saddens me. I hate that I can only touch a half conscious Jaejoong and talk to him then, because when he wakes up in the morning, he leaves without a word. I’m starting to think this is worse than a one night stand.

            “Soo Yun.”

            “Hm?” Junsu broke me out of my dazed state. I have been wiping the same cup at least twenty times now. I looked up at him. “Yes, Junsu?”

            “I know it’s a lot to ask, but my department wants to have a party in celebration of finally wrapping up the whole mafia thing cleanly after investigating it for years. Is it all right if we have it here as usual?”

            “Of course,” I said. I looked around the place. “Will it be big enough to fit everyone?”

            He nods as he, too, inspected the place. “It should be fine.”

            “Great, when did you guys want to do it?” I asked, tak