Blank.

Kai stared blankly at his food as he poked it with his chopsticks for the nth time. The words around him felt so distant like he was in his own world. His mind is on one thing and one thing alone – what Jangmi said after he told her about his past.

Flashback

“Yoon Jiro,” Jangmi muttered as her eyes narrowed. Her eyes were still on Kai before she looked down at her hands. A smile broke to her face and Kai asked himself what that smile meant.

“That name is really familiar. I can’t believe this,” she said in a rather amused tone before smiling brightly at Kai.

“You’re really Yoon Jiro?”

Kai nodded. Jangmi stared at him for some time that he felt like he’s going to melt at her gaze. “How come you became an airhead person?” she asked in a serious tone and Kai raised a brow.

“Huh?”

“And why did you not tell me earlier? Did you plan all of those ‘pissing me off’ schemes from the start? You could’ve just told me. I know that I have a rusty memory bank but I try to remember things if I want to,” she added.

This is not the scenario that Kai had in his mind. He was expecting for her to be emotional for meeting her friend a long time ago. But then again, Jangmi’s not an ordinary girl. A smile of defeat came to his face before laughing out loud. Jangmi stared at him like he was an alien out on a stroll.

“What are you laughing at? Do I need to call for an ambulance now?” she asked and Kai started calming down.

“You really are impossible to deal with, Rose. You always catch me off guard,” he commented. Jangmi pursed her lips while playing with the can of soda on her hands. He looked at her and there it was again, the look in his eyes that always make her feel jittery.

“What do you mean?”

“I was expecting you to be so touched by my confession. After all, I came back. You should’ve given me a tight hug-”

“Dream on.”

“I thought so,” Kai chuckled. They both leaned on their backs and looked at the brightly lit street and buildings in front of them. It felt weird for Jangmi after Kai told her the truth. Yoon Jiro has been a close friend of hers. And now that she knows that he grew up and returned as Kai, she feels something different about the situation.

“I heard you cried when I suddenly disappeared,” Kai muttered and Jangmi looked at him. “Where did you hear that from?” Jangmi asked, feeling her cheeks heating up.

“Jaehyun.”

“What?”

“He told me that day at the café. He recognized me right away unlike you. But then again, he’s the one with the sharp memory,” Kai replied with a playful smile. “Hey,” she scowled and Kai threw his hands in surrender.

“I just stated a fact,” he said. Jangmi rolled her eyes at him before looking away. “Did you really cry that time?” Kai asked and she bit her lip. She cleared before replying. “I don’t know. I can’t remember such details,” she answered and Kai just smiled to himself.

Jangmi just lied. As far as she could remember, she really cried her eyes out when she learned that Jiro was adopted and he went to the U.S. without saying goodbye. But saying that to Kai would make her die out of embarrassment. And there’s another memory which hit her hard in realization and she was praying for it to be not brought back by Kai because she’s going to break it for sure.

“Rose, I found you,” Kai started and Jangmi felt like her ears were ringing. She’s sure that he’s going to say it. She just stared at him, waiting for the following words to come from his mouth.

“And I’m still holding unto that promise,” he continued and Jangmi shut her eyes.

“When I grow up and I find you, I’ll marry you.”

His exact words when they were kids echoed in her mind. She suddenly remembered that when Kai told her that he’s Yoon Jiro. She opened her eyes and looked straight to his eyes. She swallowed the lump in .

“We were kids when we had that promise. After all these years, many things happened and we both changed-”

“But I still feel the same and-”

“I don’t. I’m not the same kid I was before, Kai. I’m sorry but I don’t feel the same feeling that you have,” Jangmi said and Kai’s face showed obvious rejection. She suddenly felt sad and bad for her blunt confession but dragging the matter with him not knowing what she really feels would be worse. She has a conscience and she decided to be honest. She doesn’t feel any romantic feelings towards Kai as far as her knowledge of her own heart conditions showed.

There was an awkward silence between them. It was suffocating to the point that Jangmi thought that it would be better to be buried than to sit there without saying anything. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Kai smile. She thought maybe she pushed him to the brink of his sanity.

“Well, it’s not like I didn’t think about that. I already considered that but I still pushed with the idea of letting you know,” Kai said and she stared at him. “I just never imagined that you would turn me down once again with such bluntness,” he added.

“Sorry.”

He shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize. Changes are natural,” he stated and Jangmi wondered how Kai could be so calm after all those things that she said.

“But Rose,” he started. Her gaze was fixed on him.

“My feelings will not change. I just want you to know that. And since changes are natural, it’s possible that your feelings will also change,” he continued and Jangmi was once again frozen by his words.

Kai must be a magician – a wicked one.

End of Flashback

“Jongin? Did you hear me?”

Kai lifted his face and looked at his mother who was staring curiously at him. His blank expression told his mother that he was not listening to a word that she’s saying.

“What was that?” he asked when he came to his senses. His mother sighed. “I asked you if you knew that Seolhyun is dating someone,” she replied. That’s some news with a bang. He has no idea that Seolhyun’s dating. He shook his head immediately.

“I really like that girl though,” his mother commented. She continued eating before looking at Kai once again. The look in her eyes was there and Kai knew what was going to happen.

“So when am I going to meet the girl who turned you down? You’re pretty determined to be with her so you should tell me who she is,” she said and Kai sighed. His mother’s back in her CIA investigations.

“Mom, you’ll know her soon. But now, I need to stay alive when she’s around,” he muttered and his mother looked at him with a confused expression.

Because right now, it’s my second strike. And if the third comes, I’m out of the game.

“And since changes are natural, it’s possible that your feelings will also change.”

Jangmi soullessly tore the paper that she was holding as that phrase rang inside her head. It’s been bothering her since the time that Kai told her the truth. It has been awkward between the two of them since then. Kai has been keeping his distance and has been quiet since that day. Jangmi wondered if she really did the right thing.

Even a man of persistence would fold with countless turn downs from her. Maybe Kai decided to give up on her and that would contradict what he said about not giving up because changes are natural. Odd enough, she misses how Kai always make her fume and blush with his cheesy comments.

“Jangmi to earth,” Jonghyun said as he snapped his fingers right in front of her. Jangmi turned her head to see their SC President. He has a worried expression on his face. “Are you okay? You’ve been doing that for the past 3 minutes,” he said while pointing at the shredded paper on the table.

She let go of the piece of paper left and started cleaning the mess that she did. Why is she so affected about Kai?

“You like him.”

Hyemi’s voice came to her and she immediately shook her head. She was sure that she doesn’t have any romantic feelings for Kai and that is final. She didn’t know why she cannot open up to people who have intentions of asking her out. Maybe she’s still stuck with him despite her claim that she already moved on or maybe she doesn’t really believe in love after all. Seeing her parents fighting almost everyday made her doubt love and marriage but looking at Sehun and Hyemi makes her hope for her own successful future romantic relationship. Her mind’s in spiral and it’s tiring.

She shook her head once again and looked at Jonghyun. “I’m okay. I’m just a little tired,” she replied. It’s already the second and last day of their school fest and she has been busy, together with the other SC members, in preparing for the event. Chanyeol and Hayoung were out to take care of the bonfire and grand fireworks display tonight. Jonghyun has been running here and there to take care of paper works that the faculty is asking for. Jangmi has been coordinating with the other sports coordinators for the games and the final tally of scores for the awarding.

After today, she can rest and focus in her studies once again for the final examination that is just around the corner. Jonghyun tapped her shoulder. “Hang in there. It’ll be done in a jiffy. I need to go and check on the field games. Go and check on the basketball game,” he said before turning his back on her. He took his leave and Jangmi was left alone in the SC office.

“Basketball,” she muttered. Kai’s playing and she’s not sure if it’s a good decision to go there. She’ll just distract Kai with his game but then again, she needs to do her job. She pushed her chair and stood, heading to the basketball court.

Far from the court, she could spot many people sitting on the bleachers. Most of them are girls who are cheering brightly for their own teams. And as she made her way through the nearest bleacher where the scorer was, she quickly looked at the players who were sweating furiously.

It’s a tight game between the seniors and the juniors. She saw Kai sitting with a towel on his head on their team’s seat. She wondered why he’s not playing when he’s the ace. Sehun currently has the ball and he was running to towards their hoop. After faking a lay-up, he passed the ball to Seungkwan and he shot 2 points which made them take the lead. A time out was made by the opponent after that.

“What’s wrong with Kai? He’s been messing up with his three point shots since the 2nd quarter,” one student asked the other student who was sitting right next to him. “I know right. He looks like he’s not focusing. Maybe he’s not that good as they said,” the other replied before chuckling. Jangmi didn’t know why but she suddenly felt irritated. She wanted to hit those two for badmouthing Kai’s condition. She wondered if what she said was affecting his game.

The game resumed after some minutes and she sat there while observing the game. Kai entered the game but he looked preoccupied and he only passed the ball without any attempts of shooting it. She’s worried. She never saw him like that and it’s bugging her. It was painful to watch with the thought that maybe it’s her doing that made him not focus.

The first half ended and Kai’s team’s still leading but with only 5 points. She saw Hyemi ran towards Sehun with a smile. And Kai suddenly disappeared. There’s a break before the second half and Jangmi wondered where he would go. She scanned the place and she saw him walking towards the lobby. Maybe he was going to the washroom. With a determined mind, she followed him.

She stood outside the washroom and she was thankful that there were few students passing by. It seems like they are all occupied with the games going on. She started kicking the wall lightly as she followed the rhythm in her head. When she heard the door opening, she quickly stood straight and looked to her left.

She came face to face with Kai who was dabbing a towel on his wet hair. The water was trickling from his hair to his face. They just stood there without saying anything for a second before she forced an awkward smile. “Hey,” she said and that sounded brighter than she ought it to sound.

Kai looked surprised to see her there but he quickly smiled back at her. And that smile was the same smile which makes her feel j