What am I doing?
    What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing?!
    I look left, then right, and as far as I can see there's no one that can see me, no one out.
    Minseok is the one I have to be careful of...Minseok...
    There's a creak behind me and I turn around sharply, only to see nothing but the emptiness of the dark corridor.     
    It must have been just me.
    I turn back to my goal, the door that's reeling me in, only a few more large steps away, and so I continue, as quiet as I can. Once I reach my target, I hesitate, once again, I ask myself that deadly question; what am I doing? However, my body acts on it's own, and I tip-toe over the big blockage of shoes until I find my own, slipping my feet in and turning to the door.
    As the oldest, I have possession of a second key out of the home, and I slip the precious object into the door, turning it until it made a clicking sound like always, but wincing at the deadly sound, hoping no one would hear.
    Luckily no one did, as there would have been someone coming out in the few minutes I stand there frozen, and so my attention turns back to the necessity of the door that just stands there, awaiting to be opened.
    I take in a deep breath, because I know I'm being stupid and immature, especially stupid, but also immature, but disregarding those two statements, I quietly creak open the door, and slink outside into the pure darkness.

Minseok tells us never to go outside at night, he says it dangerous, because not only could you trip over a wire of a ride or bang into a ride, but apparently there have been thieves sneaking into the abandoned fair and trying to steal parts, well, it wasn't really trying, since Minseok wasn't really trying to stop them.
    Myself as the oldest, has to set a good example, and so I follow any rule Minseok gives me. 
    Going out, into the fair, at night...it's the first rule I've broken.
    But I know he's here, he must be, he left yesterday night, unless he...
    I don't know whether to think I should've left earlier, or I shouldn't even be going out to look for Yifan, because I know deep down inside I'm not going out at night for a stroll or because I want to break a rule for once, I know I'm looking for Yifan.
    After the...incident, at breakfast, Yixing was in his room all day, I was the only one who could give him his dinner, and even then, the few words he spoke to me were, 'Leave it outside the door'. I can see, up close, how much Yifan has hurt Yixing, so why am I looking for him?
    I don't know.
    It's not like he would actually still be here anyway-
    Something in the corner of my eyes catches my attention, and I turn to see a shadow that's hidden among the horse carousel...
    "Yifan?" I whisper, taking a few steps forward, I have to be careful, in case it's just a thief. 
    But it's not, as the shadow stands up to it's full height, and despite it being dark, I can see the important features that make him recognisable as-

"Yifan," I breathe out, in almost relief, and he shifts awkwardly in the darkness, unable to see his eyes I don't know where or what he's looking at, that is until they turn and rest on me, and I can see them sparkling as the glittering stars in the sky reflect into his dark oculars.
    "I'm sorry," he says it with so much honesty it makes me breathe out cold air.
    I only just realise how cold I am, and shivers are sent down my spine as I clutch at my arms.
    "Are you...are you cold?" He takes a step forward, and in almost unison I take a step back, despite him being far away enough.
    "N-no..." I sigh, but my eyes are alert and fixed onto him, "No," I repeat, firmly this time.
    I can tell that he can tell I'm nervous, that just his presence, it makes my stomach flip, which was the feeling I used to get when I saw him before he left, and yet it was much more violent now.
    "Why are you...why are you still here?" I try to relax, but it's difficult, and images of Yixing in bed, crying and half undressed, keep popping up in my mind.
    It's impossible to think that Yifan would do such a thing...
    "I..." he shuffles uncomfortably, and as my eyes start to get used to the darkness, I can see that his hair is a mess along with his face, and his clothes are scuffed and dirty.
    "I don't have anywhere else to go..." he finally answers, and I can feel myself tense up once again, and the words start to flow out with ease, "You mean...did you come to Minseok in attempt to...live here?"
    Again, a few uncomfortable movements, before he answers lowly, "Yes."
    I don't know whether to be annoyed or not, it's as if Minseok, Jongin, Yixing and my own personalities are suddenly mixing, as I feel embarrassed yet sad, angry, frustrated and almost...disappointed.
    Suddenly I feel myself wanting to know more, so I continue to ask questions, "Why? What happened to your...home?"
    Yifan sighs, it's low and has so much hidden emotion, and yet he gives such a plain and half-hearted answer, "I left because I wanted to, then I realised I didn't have enough money to stay anywhere and-"
    "So why did you..." I interrupt loudly, and I want to finish my sentence, but by the guilty glance Yifan throws my way for a second, I realise that he already knows very well what I was going to say.
    "I was drunk," he goes back to the lazy and can't-be-bothered stance and look he had before, and I quickly grow annoyed.
    "Well then why were you drunk?" I press on.
    "Well I don't know Junmyeon! I'm trying to ask that myself! You really think I know why I did those things?!"
    I'm scared, I'm very scared, as my eyes are adapting to the darkness very quickly, I can see Yifan's facial expression, and although his voice sounded rough and angry, when I look at his face, all I can see is guilt and...fear.
    But I don't dare say anything.
    His eyes are wide and lined with panic, and quickly he slinks back to hanging his head low, and asks softly, "Why are you even here? You're not allowed out at night, it's dangerous..."
    I don't know what to say. Many ideas for variations of lies come up in my head, and I look anywhere I can, feeling his eyes bore down on me, until words slip out of my mouth that I didn't intend to say make their way out into the world.
    "I was looking for you."
    He's probably just as shocked as me by the answer, and I suddenly have the urge to run away, as I shouldn't really be out here in the first place.
    "Why?" His voice rasps and I can hear the tiredness in it.
    "I-I...I don't know," I answer half with honesty, because one half genuinely doesn't know while the other...the other has a pretty good idea.
    We stand in the darkness for a while, staring at each over even if we can't see our the other's eyes that clearly.
    Finally I speak up after the long and difficult silence, "Where have you been staying?" I try to act strong, but my voice is shaking as much as my body is from the cold.
    He gestures a hand towards the small booth in which the people who used to work the carousel would be in, but he doesn't say anything, and I shake my head, giving a few glances back from the way I came before returning and resting my gaze back onto the older male.
    "I can't stay out for long...but I'll...I'll return tomorrow, I'll give you food, for now..." I reach into my pocket and bring out an apple. I was going to eat it myself while walking around the fair, but knowing he probably didn't have that much in his suitcase, I decided it would be best for him.
    He looks at me like I'm crazy as I hold out the glistening, red apple out for him, until he gives in and walks down, jumping off the carousel, and all worries I had earlier disappear.
    Yifan looks me in the eye for a split second before gently taking the apple from my grasp, bowing his head, "Thank you," he whispers, and turns on his heels before climbing back up onto the abandoned ride.