Sorry, once again *bows*

Recently I have been very busy, however after sorting out NEBA, scary libararian teacher, friend who got a boyfriend, being alone all week, homework, other work, weird new teacher and hurting my shoulder, I have also been able to read some fanfics, and have decided my writing still has a lot of room for improvement, and so, I give you this chapter, which gives off more of the feels (I hope), and as someone who prefers emotional stories over action packed ones, I am trying to improve my writing, so I hope you enjoy it ^^

P.S There is some smexy stuff in this chapter, it's not that bad (I could've made it much worse), it's very short and not very discriptive, but it's still, you know XD Just a small heads up, hope you enjoy~

I don't know why I can't look at him.
    It's as if there's this gnawing feeling, this feeling that everything that happened that night didn't matter, it was just a blur, and yet it's so strong and it pulls me towards him, so it must be important. But he's like a brother, and you can't feel this way to your own brother right?
    But that's the problem, he isn't my brother, and what happened that night wasn't a blur, it actually happened...
    Why was it now that everything was crashing down?
    After realising that these weird feelings aren't going to settle down any time soon, I decide to spend as much time with Jongdae.
    And yet it feels so incomplete without Chanyeol, the trio of smiling idiots.
    "Hey, Jongdae, you packing up?"
    Jongdae nods as he wipes the bar of the coffee shop he and Minseok work in. Minseok knew that as soon as he found out Jongdae liked coffee, they would be close, and they are, I would even say they're closer to each over than Junmyeon and Minseok, but then, Minseok is everyone's big brother, he says that even if he fell out with each and ever one of us, he would still love us and care about us.
    Somehow, despite it being quite a big leap of a statement to make, I trust him and believe him, because not once have I seen him not care. I've seen him fallen out with us and get angry, but that was because he cared about us.
    If I really did have a real father, or siblings, or even a mother, I would want them to be like Minseok.
    Jongdae quickly disappears in the back door, obviously putting on his coat and whatnot, before emerging through again, lifting the small latch that separates customers from the inside of the bar, and he walks up to me with a small smile on his lips.
    "'Kay, let's go hyung~."
    "Don't call me that," I whisper sternly, making sure the few people in the coffee shop can't hear before I lead him out the leaf-green coloured door.
    He simply grins; he knows I don't like being called hyung, because we were found in the same year, along with...Chanyeol.
    Why is Chanyeol always around me?
    His smell, his voice, his name, his face, it's around me everywhere I go and I can't runaway from it, not that I am running away, but it's just so frustrating.
    "You're so stern, you should loosen up...actually, I wanted to talk to you about that..."
    I walked alongside Jongdae, I hate it when his mood suddenly drops, all happy and energetic and then suddenly flying down a 'serious-note' bomb. It doesn't really give you enough time to prepare your answers.
    "About what?" I ask, although I know the answer vaguely.
    "About your moods, your feelings, you in general...I miss my really happy and smiley hyung..."
    Just as I'm about to correct him on the hyung part once again, he buts in with a second part in which I really don't want to talk about.
    "And Chanyeol, the two of you don't talk to each over and have actually been...ignoring each over, recently...please, I've already had to deal with Sehun suddenly turning all horrible, Jongin always violent, Junmyeon being secretive and Yixing being depressed...I don't want my two brothers to turn out just like them, swallowed in all this bad stuff that's been surrounding us..."
    I can really see what he means, and I can see the frustration reflecting, because Jongdae always likes to see everyone smile, and when they don't he turns unhappy and...oh god, when Jongdae turns unhappy, it's like the whole world has fallen apart. I've only seen it twice, and those two times just killed me completely.
    But still...
    "I'm sorry Jongdae, I truly am. I have to admit, me and Chanyeol...we did have a fight, just a small one though, if you want..." 
    What am I saying? 
    "...If you want, I'll try and make up with him."
    "That would be nice, I at least need two of my brothers if the other six don't want to talk to me," he laughs, but I can only bare out a dry chuckle, before he adds, "But please don't force yourself, I can't stand everyone being so down, but more than that I can't bare anyone lying," he sighs, and I see the gate coming up, leading us to our home, which yet seems to turn into more of a hell house than a home.
    "Don't worry, I won't lie."

"Chanyeol," the words slipped out my mouth, because never had I felt such a burning sensation from just the simple touch of another's hand on my skin. I can feel moans and groans spill out from my vocals in desperation to try and control myself and not scream out because I've never had this wonderful experience before.
    Chanyeol however, didn't seem bothered. He was sweating and reeked of alcohol, yet the world seemed oblivious to him, his eyes were fixated only on my body, and nothing else seemed like it could disturb him as he did nothing but admire it and touch it and give it, me, pleasure, but then ignoring my pleas because I knew that I suddenly had this lust for more, and yet it was so difficult to come to terms with and understand because everything was going so...so fast.
    His hands started to slip and slither around my waist as he pecked down my torso, each kiss burning more than the previous as he kissed lower and lower and lower, while one of his hands came to place on my thigh instead, bare and open and cold air hitting my legs and my arms and my face, until he started to kiss even lower and suddenly everything started to burn like I had been lighted on fire and I clenched desperately on the bedsheets. I had forgotten what I was doing, what was happening, what I was doing with him, as it all just rolled over as waves of pleasure grabbed me and brought me in and treated me, as it all felt so good that nothing mattered anymore.

    "Chanyeol..."

Chanyeol looks at me, with those large and dark and meaningful eyes, and I need to swallow back all the feelings I have locked inside of me because I know if I think too much I'm just going to fall deeper and deeper into this weird and horrible feeling I have.
    "Well?" He leans against the wall as I sit on the bed, staring at the 'oh-so-interesting' floor, an old and frayed carpet.
    This room brings too much memories.
    Memories that shouldn't exist.
    "Can we just forget about...about the other night?" I ask, and my throat clenches as I look up to see a pained expression suddenly on his face and it wafts around, filling the air with this tense and horribly choking feeling. He stares at me until I'm sure he's bore holes through me, that is until he opens his mouth to speak, "I don't think we can Baekhyun," his voice is low and rasped and sore.
    "Why?" I can hear desperation filling my voice as the words are flung over to the younger.
    "I want to forget it too Baekhyun, but I can't, no matter what I do, I can feel it and I hate it that you're ignoring me!" Suddenly the emotions start to spill out and hit me in a full blast.
    I clench the sheets, reminding me of that fateful night, and so I let them go almost immediately and as quickly as I had grasped onto the white sheets in the first place, "I'm not ignoring you, I just...I can't believe what we did happened and..."
    "You're running away?" The words are sharp, and I feel surprised as I throw back words just as sharp.
    "I wish I could Chanyeol, but I can't, if you haven't noticed, it's just as difficult for me as it is for you, but...if you can't forget it, then can we not talk about it?...Ever?"
    Chanyeol suddenly looks tense, like it sounds like too much of a strain, even in his mind. I look into his lost eyes, that look in no where particular, before they land back onto me, "I-"
    "For Jongdae...please..." I can sense that what he was going to say before, wasn't going to be what I want to hear, and so I remind both him and myself why we're here, having this conversation.
    But it couldn't be a lie, I had to make sure of that, I had to secure this unsecured lock, just for Jongdae.
    "Okay, but Baekhyun," he finally lifts himself off the wall, meeting eyes with me for a few seconds before wrapping his hand around the doorknob and clicking open the door, and not even bothering to turn around and look back at me over his shoulder at least, as he whispers lowly, "I will never forget what happened that night."