Where are they going?
    With all those bags?
    What are they doing?
    Why do they look so...strange?
    I'm quiet as I can be as I peer down the hallway of the house, in which my eyesight can see directly to the front door. It's raining outside and the sound of the rain pattering against the windows makes me feel grateful as I tip-toe a little further down the dark hallway in which I see Sehun and Jongin, slipping into their raincoats and shoes, with bags over their shoulders.
    I was waken up by the sudden drop of temperature down in the basement, as I had decided to sleep in the small lounge area instead of my room because said room is being redecorated, and although there is no heating downstairs everyone always just puts lots of candles in the room and use lots of blankets. But as I awoke, I had a sudden thirst for a drink, and that's when I saw them.
    Minseok hardly even lets us out in the day unless we have someone with us, so the fact that Sehun and Jongin are bluntly disobeying the rules of going out at night shocks me. I'm pretty sure Jongin has sneaked out before, but the quiet Sehun proudly following behind out into the rainy darkness?
    I can see them just about to head out and the bags...they're so big, wherever they're going, it looks like they'll be there for a while.
    I start to panic; what are they doing? What are their motives? Where are they going? Why are they leaving?
    I don't like not knowing what is happening, I may seem like I don't care most of the time, but I do, I silently watch over and evaluate every little thing that happens and I look after my younger brothers and watch out for my elders.
    Especially Jongin, I've always felt something...special for Jongin. I used to think it was a special kind of care because he's always rebellious and getting into trouble, but...it's more, I can feel it. I've always pushed it to the back of my mind, because if I do...feel that way for Jongin, it's better to be quiet about it and to try and reason with myself, forget about it.
    But I never forget about it, no matter how many times I see him with other girls and tell myself, 'you can't feel this way because you like girls and he likes girls', it never seems to work.
    What is wrong with me?
    I admit that I love him, but I don't want to.
    I see the two of them filtering out through the door, and before I even know what I'm doing, I sneak down the hallway and to the entrance where they were only a few seconds ago. Although I'm in nothing but a pair of shorts and a shirt, I grab the long coat that is mine anyway and slip my feet into my shoes, and rush out into the rain. I can see their figures quickly disappearing, but not towards the gate, but towards the woods. Why the woods? Wouldn't it be more logical to go towards the town? Nevertheless, I jog after them, careful not to slip, and it only dawns on me how badly it's raining once my hair is stuck to my forehead and I can barely see.
    But I keep running after them.
    Because I have a duty, as someone older, to do whatever it takes to help them make the right decision, and I feel as if it's finally time for me to show how much I care. Whatever they're doing, it can't be good, even if it seems so to them, they didn't discuss it, with their own family, they didn't trust us, and that's what upsets me.
    I always told myself that...Jongin is secretly a good person, deep down inside, and he never knew it but I always tried to prove it to the others, show them that he could be trusted and be a good person, but they always ignored him and said they had to keep an eye on Jongin especially, over everyone else.
    Junmyeon was too fussed over Jongin to see that Sehun was ignored and labelled as nothing but the 'youngest who is too naive' while Yixing was always too content in his own little world, of course he cared for everyone, but he balanced it perfectly and so the amount of care Junmyeon gave to Sehun wasn't equal.
    Minseok...Minseok just wants to protect everyone from what he calls a 'money filled' and 'slightly cold' world. He wants us to all learn in the nicest way possible, but we can all see he is bitter deep down inside; towards those three.
    I tried to defend them, and now I am finally going to defend them the best way possible, because whatever they are doing right now, it doesn't seem good.
    I pick up the pace until I'm so close behind them, but my throat tightens and my legs start to stumble under the thundering rain.
    What do I do?
    What do I say?
    "S-Sehun...Jon-Jongin!" I call out, and stop running. They barely catch it as they stop, look at each over questionably as if they don't believe they've just heard a voice, then finally turn around, and their eyes widen almost perfectly in sync as they lay their sight on me. 
    "Hyung..." Sehun looks like he's about to cry, but that might just be the rain messing around with my mind, as there's raindrops pouring down everybody's cheeks. But suddenly the words and the questions start pouring out as easily as the rain falls to the ground. "W-what are you doing? Where are you going? Why haven't you told anyone? P-please tell me..." it easily went from scolding to begging, and I don't know what my motives are anymore.

"We're leaving hyung," Jongin states boldly, a sweep of regret passing through his eyes that I can see, but I try to forget about it.
    I really don't want Jongin to do this.
    "W-why?" I ask, and feel oddly surprised they can even hear me over the thunder and the rain.
    "Why do you care?! It's not like you ever showed us any type of affection! You just went with whatever the other hyung's said and did!" Jongin suddenly bursts, and it makes me cry, I finally cry, because of what he's doing, and because...everything he says is true.
    It's all going so fast, I don't know what to think anymore.
    Maybe they should go...
    No, what he said was true, in his perspective, but in mine...he has no idea how much I love him and care for him. 
    "N-no...that's not true...I care about the both of you, and so does everyone else...if you really want to leave at least tell Minseok hyung, don't just leave! Please, he's already broken, don't break him anymore..." now I'm using another's feelings to cover up my own. But what am I supposed to blurt out, that I love him? That won't make him stay, it'll only drive him further away.
    The two give each over glances once more, sad ones at that, before Sehun finally speaks, "Hyung...we're going now...please just pretend nothing happened and go back to bed...it's better like this."
    And then I realise; this is all Sehun's idea.
    His voice is less shaky and more confident than Jongin's, who seems fierce, but his voice wavers and his body trembles whenever he even looks at me and shouts out all his feelings.
    It's a sad sight, but I don't hate Sehun, as he's not forcing Jongin, however to think that behind that emotionless mask, that I was right, that he really does need more grown up attention and not just being treated like a baby whenever someone did pay him so, is frustrating, because they obviously seem quite planted on leaving.
    But I can't just let them go, not just because I have special feelings towards Jongin, but because I will have to carry the burden of 'the one who let them leave'.
    I try to think of something, anything, to get them to stay.
    But they just turn around, like I'm nothing but a mere wall in the way, a small and fragile one at that, and walk away.
    They've broken me down, and I watch as they walk off into the distance.
    How do I explain to the others?
    Or should I do what Sehun said? And pretend I know nothing?

I'm so sorry this is so late T^T I'm going to do an update tomorrow too though, to make up for it ;)

Also was anyone surprised by Kyungsoo's secret feelings? Please be comfortable to comment, I missed you guys honestly I'm terrible _3_

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this, as usual, small chapter, wuv you~