Just roughly a year ago, it wasn't just me.
    There were three more, and the four of us were supposed to be happy together, we had the money, and the fans, it was wonderful.
    I personally loved seeing the kids enjoying the rides and having fun among themselves, and so did the others, but more than anything, the investment, the money, is what they enjoyed.
    We weren't a travelling funfair, unlike most, we opened twice a week, and when we opened the gates, the kids flooded in.
    They loved us.
    But more than anything, it was my home.
    The other three had homes away from what they called their 'work', but I lived there, the funfair was my home, not just a money factory.
    And then there were them.
    I didn't do it for any other reason but care, but they started to come on by one.
    Every time one of them came, I'd ask, 'Aren't you a little old for funfairs?'
    And they would always reply, 'It's better than home.'   
    I thought they were all related first, the eight of them, like one big band of brothers, but they denied it, and when all of them came one day, they were stopped at the gates and rummaged through their pockets, thinking one of them had money but it be turning out that he thought another had money.
    I came to the gates myself before the other three did, and I asked, 'Why did you come with no money?'
    One of them looked like he was going to tear up, but another stepped forward and said, 'We thought we did, sorry to cause you the inconvenience,' and simply turned away.
    Without thinking, and again, purely not because of money reasons, I stopped them as I called, 'Why don't you go home and get your parents to go give you some? I-if you forgot to bring some...'
    I should've been more careful with my words, I should have been more gentle, not so careless to let them shout over back to me, 'We don't have any parents,' letting their harsh and painful secret bare and out to the people flooding in through the gates, handing in their money as if it came so easy to the world.
    I lost my breath for a moment, and without thinking, caught it back and explained, 'Why...w-why don't you come back to my place? It's in the fair...'
    They're faces turned from sad and dull, to surprised, shocked and...pleased.
    Some grinned, and some cried slightly as they walked forward to approach me and thank me.
    It was one of the moments in my life that I knew I would never forget, it was so painful and yet the smiles on their faces made them remember all the good things and forget all the bad things.
    All the very bad things.

I had fought hard to keep it open, truly I did.
    The other three, Luhan, Yifan and Zitao, came from China and I met them while going to grab a coffee. I became friends with the three of them very quickly with my ability to speak Chinese, and they explained to me, 'We want to start a funfair, the three of us, but Yifan has only barely managed to get the language, and if we can't speak Korean then we can't open a funfair in Korea.'
    And so I helped them, I decided to work with them and also learn them Korean.
    After a lot of hard work and a lot of saving up, in about a year we had it opened. It was small, cheap, but it was communal and the kids soon rushed in, then getting their friends and their parents, who then got their friends and they got their friends.
    It was great, the money flooded in pretty easily.
    But, after I had offered the eight younger orphans to live with me in the large basement and attic in my house just on the edge of the funfair, the other three had decided they were 'done'.
    'Done with what?' I asked, the panic rose in my voice and did so in my heart too.
    'We can go other places with our money, back to China, open bigger business, this is small now, someone else can have it,' they shrugged it off like it was nothing.
    They had no care, no passion, they just wanted to leave me.
    In the end, it even finished money. They said that they would leave money for me so I could keep the land and my house, but I couldn't re-open the fair because I didn't have enough money and I couldn't run it on my own.
    And so I was left with an abandoned funfair.
    They didn't even bother to get rid of the rides, just said that if I kept paying the money they gave me to land owners they wouldn't demolish it and put something else up.
    I should have fought harder.
    But they just left me.

I can see the gates from afar, it's scary, like something from a horror movie, to others anyway. To me, I find it beautiful, abandoned, sad, sort of like me. I don't really have the energy and enthusiasm like I used to, and my trust is long gone.
    I manage to work back in the coffee shop which I used to work in, the money I have from the funfair is stored away in a special place in case of an emergency.
    So money wise, I'm pretty good, although because of the state of where I live, people don't think the same.
    My bags are always heavy though, trying to feed eight teenagers and plus myself is a big struggle, although even for the richest person in the world you'd think it would still be quite a stretch.
    But they're good about it, they share it equally and never eat more than they have to, but very much enough.
    The funfair is surrounded by a large gate, now getting old and withered, but still as strong as never.
    Right at the back, is my house, well it's more like a bungalow with a big attic and basement. In the bungalow itself is my room, two bathrooms, a kitchen, a living room and a dining room. The top attic can fit four in, that is it can fit in Junmyeon, Yixing, Jongdae and Baekhyun, while with the basement it's Chanyeol, Sehun, Jongin and Kyungsoo. Behind the bungalow is a large and vast forest, in which they told me they didn't go into but when I found out the large hole in the gate, I knew otherwise. I had a conversation with them, told them to be careful, but I didn't treat them like kids anymore.
    When I first met them, Junmyeon, the oldest, was six years younger than me at sixteen, and Sehun, the youngest, was thirteen. But now Junmyeon is nineteen and Sehun is sixteen, and me at twenty five as the funfair was very successful for two years, but then the other three left last year.
    I feel very old.
    And I still don't know whether they've grown up or are still in the process in doing so.
    They make mistakes, like when they saved up money and bought a game console when they could have spent it on something more important, or when they went and stole some useless things like spray cans and started to graffiti on the walls in the basement and attic.
    I got really angry, I was fuming, but after a lecture, I realised they were still kids and that they were bored, they wanted some excitement in life. 
    None of them went and still don't go to school, I teach them what I can, Yixing was the hardest though, being the only Chinese, back when they all lived in the orphanage the others said that he was brought from China when he was seven, but because he was young he managed to pick up the Korean language fairly easy. But I found it cruel to just teach him Korean when he was originally Chinese, so I taught him both Korean like everyone else and some Chinese.
    The incident with the graffiti and they console was a year back, so Chanyeol, Jongin and Baekhyun, who were mostly the ones who thought of the ideas, were only seventeen and sixteen, but the thing I hated the most was that they were influencing Sehun, who had only just turned fifteen. In the end I decided to give them more freedom, I told them they could play on the old rides as long as they didn't turn them on, graffiti on them or break them, and I told them I knew about them going into the forest and explained that as long as they were careful, it was okay.
    Trying to raise eight children on your own is not recommended.
    About once a week, Zitao would drop in and say hi, he used to help Yixing with his Chinese and taught everyone life lessons like, 'don't let people push you around' and whatnot, which I always told him not to say as they would probably take his words at a different approach.
    Luhan would come in twice a week, he would be kind and would explain how things were going, I was pretty sure he was what made them mature so quickly.
    And then Yifan came in at the weekend, he would also help Yixing with his Chinese and would teach a lot of things to the others too.
    When they left and abandoned me, it took me a while to remember they hadn't just abandoned me, but the eight children in my house.

I walk up to the large gate and settle the plastic bags on the cold concrete ground and rummage through my old coat pockets, going through notes and paperclips and some change before coming across the key I needed in order to pass the large gates that stood above me, once being open twice a week and full with children and parents, now just me.
    I turn the golden but ancient key in the lock and when the satisfying click comes to my ear I slip the key in my mouth and hold it with clenching teeth.
    Not caring that much about how old it is, I pick up the bags on either side of me and push open the gate with my shoulders, slipping through the small gap and then shutting it with my shoulders, once again dropping my bags on the floor gently and taking the key out of my mouth, inserting it into the lock and hearing the click for the second time before dropping the key into my long coat pocket and taking the plastic bags with me down the journey to the end of the abandoned fair.
    I walk everyday, past the rides and the empty stalls as if they're nothing, because they're not, not anymore anyway.
    There used to be loads of people working for us, but then they lost all the jobs.
    Thinking more and more about it, I realise how much the three had been so selfish, they made everyone lose their jobs, the eight back at home lonely, me feeling lost, the fair being abandoned.
    But I didn't hate them, and really I don't think I ever will.
    I kept on walking, hearing birds chirping and noticing a few more webs appearing along the rim of the some of the rides than usual, but the sun leaking through made them turn into beautiful white lines that stretched between different ends of the rides.
    My shoes barely make a noise, and I'm surprised, despite it being quite early, that no one was around. Some took walks, while others liked to climb over the rides, but at the moment, there was no one.
    I know it's quite early, so I could understand if maybe they want to just lounge around on their beds, which was probably what they are doing.
    I finally see my small house in the distance and increase in speed.
    When I get there, I placed the bags back down and growing tired, I raise a hand and knock on the door.
    Inside there's a loud clatter and after not waiting too long, the door swings open and I meet eyes with the oldest, Junmyeon, who looks pleased to see me like always.
    "Welcome back," he greets, stepping aside for me to come in.
    I pick the bags up from either side and walk in slowly, and as he shuts the door from behind me I call, the bungalow ringing with my voice, "I've got food!"