--- --- --- ---

 

Baekhyun had always liked spicy food.

 

It was his thing. It added texture and flavor to an otherwise dull dish. Summer of the start of his senior year of highschool though, he developed a taste for anything remotely spicy and his cravings reached obsessive, near psychotic levels.

 

One uncomfortably warm night Baekhyun was in the kitchen waiting for his mother to serve dinner. She was just warming up left overs when Baekhyun requested that sriracha sauce be poured over his re-heated beef fried rice.

 

His mother turned to stare at him from her spot across the table. "You want spicy food as hot as it is?" She wondered. "Hun, you're about to melt away like a pile of sugar in the rain."

 

Baekhyun whine-groaned. 

 

The temperature was approximately 1000 degrees even though it was nearly dark outside. Baekhyun was half off of his chair at the dinner table in a grey tank top and khaki shorts. He'd pulled his sweat slick shirt up to reveal his smooth and three shades paler belly and his shorts were bunched at his hairless thighs. The teenager had a pack of nearly melted ice sitting on his head and he'd confiscated and e of the large circular fans on himself to try and cool down. His black locks were damp and sticking to his face.

 

He'd have looked kind of y if he didn't look so miserable. Baekhyun was literally a hot mess.

 

Momma Byun knew her son had unusual tastes in food but this just struck her as odd today. She'd barely wanted to cook tonight because the AC was broken and turning on the stove would broil them alive in the kitchen. She'd opted to heat up some leftovers in the microwave instead.  

 

The seventeen year old boy nodded sleepily, blinking a few times. Even his eyelids were sweating. "Hot weather brings out out the flavor." Baekhyun mumbled.

 

His mother shook her head and sat down her pen on the pad of paper covered in numbers. "We don't have anymore." She told him, shrugging. "You used the last of it on your eggs at breakfast this morning."

 

Baekhyun's reaction was five seconds late but his eyes popped open and he sat there staring at her almost almost dumbstruck. 

 

"That's not possible. You just bought that huge bottle a week ago..." He said slowly and in disbelief. Why would his mother lie to him like this?

 

His mom's nose scrunched up, reminding Baekyun of where he got his cute facial features. Her reply was teasing. "Yeah, but Baek, you're practically brushing your teeth with that stuff. Honestly, I think you have a bit of an addiction."

 

Baekhyun felt insulted. So, okay, he really, really, really liked sriracha sauce. There were worse addictions right? He wasn't hurting anyone.

 

H-he could quit eating it at any time.

 

"My to-go stash is gone too..." Baekhyun breathed and sat up slowly. He usually kept a small bottle of sriracha in his bag for emergencies. He knew he'd used it up in a bowl of ramen while at a friends house the other day. So now he was totally out.

 

That's when Baekhyun felt it; Panic. 

 

His heart beat sped up, the back of his neck felt tingly and hot, his throat got tight, and his eyes started to sting. It took him a second to recognize what he was feeling and he scoffed at his own weakness. Was he really about to have a meltdown over some chili paste?

 

Baekhyun checked his feelings again.

 

Yes, yes he was about to have a meltdown over some chili paste.

 

He didn't cry. Ever. So he didnt understand the sudden, intense, and urgent need to suddenly start sobbing. Baekhyun had to in a few deep breathes and count in his head to will himself to calm down.

 

"Your go-to stash?" His cousin, Heechul, was raising an eyebrow from across the dinner table. "Oooh, I get it. Hot sauce is a "code-name". Is that what all the cool kids are calling their dime bags of weed these days?"

 

Baekhyun immediately forgot about crying and clenched his jaw in irritation. "Whatever! And it's not hot sauce. Hot sauce doesn't have on sriracha, so check your taste buds 'cause you're tripp'in!"

 

Heechul looked slightly dumbstruck. "What... foreign nonsense is this child speaking?"

 

Baekhyun knew he sounded off the charts but he couldn't stop himself from reacting so strongly and defensively. And over something so stupid.

 

Okay, so he was stressed out and tired ever since taking on a part-time job to help out his mother. Things had been rough since his dad had ed up. His mom booted the gambling and cheating bastard to the streets after the epic loser had blown threw thousands, nearly drained Baekhyun's college fund, and almost sent their house into foreclosure. All because he'd been trying to impress some girl barely old enough to drink. 

 

Now, Baekhyun and his mother were in a really tight financial bind because of the debts Byun Senior had racked up. Even with the added income from Heechul renting a room, things were tight. Baekhyun had spent nearly all summer working and saving while frantically writing essays to get scholarships. It had been exhausting but he'd managed to secure two of the four years of his college tuition. (Not including supplies and books.)

 

"Look, I just have a really strong... craving... for it. Mom you know how much I like it." Baekhyun tried to explain and sound rational but all it sounded like was whining. He'd spoken like his mom could just magically make some of the liquid burning goodness appear on the table.

 

"Craving?" Heechul cut in suspiciously. "You mean the munchies?"

 

Baekhyun turned to look at his cousin and frowned. "Look, I don't smoke--"

 

Heechul cut him off. "--No you look, young'in." He pointed a finger. "There's nothing wrong with your legs. So run, walk, or hop on that bike of yours and peddle yourself to open-all-night-Mart if you want some rooster sauce so badly. Damn brat." 

 

Baekhyun glared viciously at Heechul. Normally he adored the guy and he was so grateful he was there for his mom, but he hadn't needed his ten-cents input.

 

"But I'm tired and it's hot and I can't!" Baekhyun wailed. He really hadn't been trying to whine, honestly, but his throat still felt tight and that's just how his voice came out. "You know I'm on my feet all day at work. And the bus takes too long..."

 

His mom sighed sadly and reached over to run her fingers through his sweaty hair. "I'm sorry baby. I'll get some when I go grocery shopping tomorrow. You'll just have to wait."

 

Baekhyun's face crumpled into the most pathetic pout he'd ever felt himself make. The thought of waiting made him start shaking. He didn't know why but he actually felt like he'd die if he didn't get that damn sriracha sauce immediately. 

 

"But moooom!" Baekhyun pleaded. Why was this happening? How many more sacrifices did he have to make?

 

He'd given up his cellphone (a Samsung Galaxy 4 he'd gotten for excellent grades) for a basic Nokia flip phone and limited minutes card. He no longer had the internet at home so he was forced to spend hours at the local library when he needed to do research for school. He'd even given up his Japanese lessons despite wanting to major in foreign communications once he entered college.  

 

All of this started because his punk- dad had been a punk--. Baekhyun 100% supported his mom's decision to kick his dad out but that night, something inside of him just snapped.

 

So Baekhyun did the only thing he could think of.

 

" you mean I gotta wait?!"

 

He lost his .

 

"Why don't we just have more than one bottle of sriracha sauce in this house?! You know how much I love it! Oh my god, mom, we're Korean! We eat spicy all the time. Stockpile it! What're we gonna do when the zombie apocalypse comes?!"

 

His mom and Heechul had both frozen to stare at him. Their eyes were comically wide but Baekhyun didn't find funny at that moment.

 

"Jinjja?! We don't even have a goddamned serrano pepper up in here?! Hot chili oil? Pace Pacante sauce? Nothing!?" Baekhyun questioned hysterically and stood up from his chair. He grabbed the edge of the table like he'd flip it over. His neck and face were red with rage but his eyes gleamed with tears. 

 

"I'm so ashamed right now! I know money is tight and that I shouldn't complain mommy, but Jesus ing Christ! What's next?" He pointed an accusing finger at the door to indicate his reference to his whack father.

 

"This is all his fault! Will we have to give up real jasmine rice and subsist on that boil in the bag Uncle Ben's too? I swear to God, mother, I'll throw myself off of the garage if we have to eat that stuff! OomomomOMO! ing ottoke?! How did it come to this?!"

 

Baekhyun flailed and vibrated then he burst into a fit of inconsolable whale like sobs. His normally beautiful voice sounded like a the anguished cry of a banshee. Tears streamed down his face and plopped onto the table.

 

" all of this!" He blubbered.

 

His mom and Heechul just stood there in mute shock.

 

"Damn... Where's an Oscar award when you need one?" Heechul said in awe as he turned to look at his aunt. "I should have recorded that as proof for his psychologist. It's gotta be drugs auntie. The Mary-Jane has this child deep in her clutches. He's all lethargic and constantly eating... This is withdrawal like I've never seen it before--look he's got the shakes! Drug addiction would explain this mess he's melting into."

 

"I'm not a goddamn pothead!" Baekhyun defended bitterly. "I don't even know what pot looks like! Oregano? Parsley flakes?! I'm a cross-country runner, do I look like I'd willingly inhale that into my lungs?" Baekhyun looked nervously at his mother. "Mom, I swear to God I'm not a stoner!"

 

He wasn't helping his case by flipping out but he was so worried his mom might actually believe Heechul.

 

Heechul grinned in amusement. "Denial is another symptom of drug addiction."

 

Baekhyun's mom held up her hand like she was about to say something.

 

"Quit ing with me!" Baekhyun hissed and balled his fists. "Or I swear on your first adopted child, I'll shave you bald in your sleep, and glue your hair to your chin and chest!"

 

Heechul's fox like smirk melted into a dark, threatening, glare.

 

Normally Baekhyun would have backed down because of his cousin's expression. It carried the pain of a thousand horrible deaths and he really believed the man had some kind of dark powers. But today Baekhyun was ready to go toe-to-toe if he had to. He'd been itching for the chance to put the "South Korean Special, Byun-Baekhyun-Happkido-Kick-Yo-" style on someone (his dad) for weeks.

 

"Touch my hair and I'll make sure this family blood line ends with you." Heechul glanced at Baekhyun's khaki covered crotch. "And I don't mean by killing you."

 

Baekhyun's mom pinched the bridge of her nose.

 

Beakhyun scoffed and came from around the table like he was about to take a swing. He actually had to stop himself from saying "Bring it on !", when Heechul stood up. They were the same height and the kitchen had more than enough space. Baekhyun cracked his knuckles. 

 

"Not before I tell Gunhee that you dress up like Anna from 'Frozen' and go to the mall to flirt with guys!" He threatened. 

 

Baekhyun's mom turned to look at Heechul and raised her eyebrows very slowly.

 

"I wasn't flirting." Heechul barked indignantly and cut a hesitant glance at his aunt. "I-I wanted to see how convincing my cosplay would be."

 

"Lying liar!" Baekhyun retorted instantly. "You have a stack of phone numbers from all sorts of dudes and I know you've been texting one of them and meeting up. Why? I know he's not cosplaying as Elsa!" 

 

Heechul actually looked taken aback for a split second at Baekhyun's boldness but then his expression darkened.

 

"Say anything to Gun and I'll post all of those soundclips of you trying to give yourself a Brazilian wax on Instagram--"

 

"--You are such a !" Baekhyun shrieked. 

 

"I've got your in my trunk--!"

 

"--Sweet Jesus! Both of you shut the hell up or I swear on every deity in this world, you're both sleeping in the damn driveway!" Baekhyun's mother threatened. She viciously opened the microwave and pulled out the tupperware bowl full of fried rice.

 

"It's too damn hot for this bullsh--crap!"

 

Both boys went silent. Baekhyun actually clamped his hands over his mouth and trembled before clapping them together like he was praying and whimpered.

 

"Momma, please no!" He cried. He didn't have a sleeping bag or a tent. It was hot and there were prehistoric sized mosquitos outside just waiting to him dry. 

 

Plus their driveway was all gravely. 

 

Mom-Byun looked at Baekhyun like she'd just spotted a rare and helpless new species of kitten.

 

"Baek, baby, what is wrong with you?" 

 

Baekhyun threw his hands up. "Nothingohmygod! I just want spicy beef fried rice! Why is everyone picking on me?!" He shook his head frantically and slumped down into his chair. For a few seconds he just cried and furiously tried to wipe away his tears. Heechul and his mom glanced at each other then at Baekhyun nervously.

 

"I-I-I...!" Baekhyun stuttered. "I just have a lot of feelings!" He explained. Then he in a chest full of air and shrieked at the top of his lungs. It sounded like someone had just slammed a kitten's tail in a door and wouldn't reopen it.

 

Heechul leapt up and backed away while drawing a cross in the air. "Oh heeeeeell no! He's posessed!" The older man dashed to the sink and turned it on before grabbing the spray nozzle. He turned and aimed it directly at the shrieking boy before unleashing a blast of ice cold water right into Baekhyun's face.

 

Baekhyun's shrills halted immediately and he stood there dripping wet with his mouth gaping open in mute shock. Heechul had a totally blank expression as he lowered his weapon and turned off the sink.

 

"Take that demon spawn." Heechul hissed.

 

"Kim Heechul!" Baekhyun's mom admonished. "That was just... uncalled for," Her voice cracked as she tried not to laugh.

 

"B-but look! He's got steam rolling off of him, auntie!" Heechul waved his hands like it helped him plead his case. The older woman just stared at him until Heechul shrugged.

 

"Hey, it got him to shut up didn't it?"

 

Baekhyun flopped back into his chair like all of the rage had drained out of him. "I really hate you sometimes," he groused at Heechul, running a delicate hand through his soaked locks.

 

"Of course you do." Heechul half smirked, half sneered. "Someone has to keep your hormonal little in check. Your mom has enough going on without you throwing fits over nothing."

 

Momma Byun actually nodded in agreement as Heechul grabbed his car keys.

 

"Fine. I'll go get your freaking hot sauce if it means you'll stop being a moody little ."

 

"Siracha sauce!" Baekhyun stomped his foot as his cousin left.

 

His mom watched him carefully while she finished up dinner. He had calmed down considerably, obviously happy he'd be getting what he wanted soon, but she was tempted to slip him one of her xanax's or a shot of whiskey. Or both. 

 

"It's not drugs is it?" Momma Byun just had to ask.

 

She had that look on her face. The one, you as a child or teenager, regret ever causing and get really sad seeing because it's totally your fault. It's the 'Mom look'. It's not quite disappointment but it's borderline judgemental. She's acting like she's cool with your life choices but as soon as she's alone she's going to go sob quietly and wonder where she went wrong. 

 

"Because... I get it, you're young and you want to try--"

 

Baekhyun huffed in irritation and flicked his wet hair out of his face. "No. I swear. Drugs cost money..." he explained. "And they scare me."

 

"What is going on with you then?" His mom questioned.. 

 

"Nothing! Stuff! J-just back up off me..." Baekhyun started throwing elbows like someone was trying to hold him back. "I don't know! I'm just frustrated, and tired, and angry, and pissed off--" He replied fitfully. "--And hungry!" His stomach grumbled in agreement. 

 

His mom looked him over a few more times. "I know you're under a lot of pressure because of your dad's screwup, baby, and I'm sorry you have to deal with this--"

 

"Don't apologize for him!" Baekhyun jerked up and snarled. "None of this is your fault. That er should be groveling at your feet and tripping over himself to make things up to you."

 

His mom nodded sadly. She looked tired and small in her capri pants and tank top. "He's tried... I'm not ready to hear his excuses yet."

 

Baekhyun pouted and went to give her a hug. She yelped and chuckled when his cold and wet skin touched her.

 

"But that aside," She pulled back and frowned before she pinched his arm hard. Baekhyun cried out in pain and choked on a wet sob. 

 

"Ow!! Why'd you do that?!" He rubbed the spot gingerly.

 

"Boy, don't you ever swear with God's and Jesus's name in the same scentence, or at me, like that again."

 

Baekhyun had the decency to blush. "Oh... Yeah, about that... I'm sorry!"

 

"Yes, you are." His mom snapped her fingers and pointed to his room. "Now go pray and ask for forgiveness! We might not be religious, but I'll be damned if you talk bad about God in this house."

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes but did as he was told.

 

--- --- --- ---

 

A week later, after two more emotional breakdowns, and a sudden new taste for sriracha with cold cucumbers, Baekhyun's mom picked him up from his summer advanced placement class. So far he'd been taking the bus home or to work after classes, so he knew something was up as soon as he saw their silver Toyota Yaris sitting outside.

 

"Who're you ing?" M asked bluntly. She had her sunglasses on and her hair was swept up into a "don't--with-me" bun.

 

Baekhyun didn't even have his seatbelt on and it snapped out of his slack fingers. He glanced around to see if anyone had heard her but thankfully the windows were closed.

 

"Ohmygod, mom!" He squeaked. "Whatever happened to 'Hello'?"

 

"I'm sorry. Hi, sweetie," She reached over and tenderly his hair. "How was school? Did you have fun? Is it difficult? And who're you ing?"

 

Baekhyun opened his mouth to deny that he'd ever ed anyone but his mom glared, over the top of her sun glasses, with her fingers still in his hair. He decided the truth would keep him from being stripped bald.

 

"Well... It was Chanyeol..." He admitted softly.

 

"The Park boy?" His mom asked with her eyebrows up in her hairline. She gently retracted her fingers and slipped into deep thought. She'd been vaguely aware of her son befriending the tall and spindley young man with large ears a few months back. They hung out a lot since they worked together. She'd had no idea that gotten involved. "The one who practically lives at the grocery store?"

 

Baekhyun nodded slowly, his head suddenly hanging. "Uh, we kinda started dating... But things didn't work out. He went off to Spain this summer so..."

 

"I see... Well, he's a handsome, kind, and hard working young man. I can see the attraction. " His mom frowned. For a fleeting moment, she thought at least if Baekhyun was in a bind, Chanyeol would be responsible enough to help him out. 

 

There was a moment of total quiet before she spoke again. "But you had unprotected with him?"

 

Baekhyun flinched a little and blushed down to his neck."Hahahah..." He laughed really high, sounding like a nervous version of Mickey Mouse. "M-m-maybe? W-we got carried away sometimes..." He explained. "Ohmygod, w-why're you asking me this all of a sudden?"

 

His mom blew an exasperated breath through her bangs. "Because you're being weird lately. God, Baek, after all we talked about? There are STD's, HIV, and--"

 

Baekhyun hunched into himself and eyed the door. His mother saw him plotting an escape and suddenly started the car. She peeled away from the curb so fast she literally burned rubber. Baekhyun yelped in suprise and quickly secured his seatbelt.

 

"Chanyeol's clean. We got checked--well he got checked, I was a --before we went that far..." He tried to explain meekly. "And we were careful..."

 

"How? What the hell is more careful than a goddamned ?"

 

Baekhyun had never wanted to desintegrate and return to the planet more in his seventeen years of life. Where was God to strike him down and save him from this entire conversation right now? He'd have nightmares about this forever.

 

"Uh... Well he wouldn't um, you know... inside me..."

 

His mom gasped and smacked her palm on the steering wheel. "He was pulling out? Sweet Jesus!" She paused and clenched her jaw. "And then what? He unloaded on your stomach or something? You two were dabbling in amateur ?"

 

"Hoooly fuuuuu--" Baekhyun wailed, kicking his feet, and he pulled up the hood of his sweater and covered his face before tightening the draw strings. If he was lucky he'd smother himself to death in there. 

 

"Oh please! Don't try to act all embarrassed and ashamed now." His mom snapped. "You're old enough to have and have a boy all over you, so you're old enough to own up to the consequences."

 

Baekhyun peeked out through the slit in his hoody. "W-what consequences?" He meeped.

 

"The kind you're stuck with and have to feed for seventeen and a half years!" His mom snarled and side-eyed him super hard.

 

Baekhyun could feel question marks fluttering around his head like lost and confused butterflies. It took him a full minute to realize what his mom was implying and then he recoiled. 

 

"What? Wait, you think I'm--Ma, I'm not... pregnant!" But as soon as he said that Baekhyun's mind started to race hella fast.

 

He couldn't be. It was possibly impossible! Wait. No. Impossibly possible! 

 

...What?!

 

His mom just shook her head and took an exit off the freeway way too Final-Destination-moment-fast. Baekhyun felt his heart lodge in his throat and he thought he'd be sick from the motion and speed of the car.

 

"I don't know what to think, Baekhyun." His mom said without looking at him. "But something's off with you and I'm worried. I know it's been tense the last few months but that's not explaining your behavior."

 

His behavior? Baekhyun could only stare in wide eyed shock for a moment. He did a metal recap of everything he'd done recently that could have his mother wondering if he was with child.

 

"So, okay I've had a few bad days and I'm irritated and tired. I'm working nearly 10 shifts the grocery store. And, okay, I guess I've put on a little weight but it's totally from stress eating. Also, I'm not throwing up. Isn't that like, the biggest symptom of pregnancy? Obviously this is just anxiety or something."

 

"Not all pregnancies come with morning sickness. Mine didn't until later. So count yourself lucky." She pointed out. "Plus, you ate cucumbers. You hate cucumbers."

 

Baekhyun's stomach rumbled just hearing the name of the fresh green vegetable but not in distaste. "I-I like them cold! It's cooked that I can't stand the smell!"

 

"Since when?"

 

Baekhyun trembled a bit. "Since... a few weeks ago, I guess...? But that's no big deal!"

 

"Mmhmm. We'll see." His mom declared sternly. 

 

Five minutes later they were pulling up to the clinic across town. Baekhyun gulped. He hadn't been here since he'd caught the chicken pox in the 4th grade.

 

"Doctor Matthews came in on her day off just for you." His mom said, nearly dragging him from the car.

 

Baekhyun felt a new kind of embarrassment wash over him. Dr. Matthews was his pediatrician. She'd delivered him into the world and put a thermometer up his when he was little and had an ear infection. The last thing he needed was to talk to the woman about was his life. 

 

"I can't!" Baekhyun protested. He felt faint and hot. He was bigger than his mother and could have easily broken away and fled.

 

"You will." His mom threatened. Baekyun's will to fight deflated at her tone. He needed a place to sleep tonight so he reluctantly let her pull him along like he was five.

 

They signed in and sat in the lobby all of 10 minutes before a really young female nurse called him back and checked his vitals. Baekhyun got more and more anxious as the seconds passed and his stomach started doing this weird flipping thing--and there it was again-- like he was very, very hungry. He suddenly imagined the menu at McDonald's and wondered how much twenty bucks could get him off the dollar menu. God, a vanilla milk shake sounded amazing to him right now. And then he could dip his fries in it. Or he could pour siracha sauce on them.

 

Baekhyun gasped softly. He absolutely despised Mcbad-bowel-movements. Why the hell was he daydreaming about the greasy fastfood?

 

Dread clamped around Baekhyun's belly and he suddenly queasy. He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, wondering if he was feeling some delayed onset of motion sickness. He used to get it really bad as a child and his mom would make him eat toast or crackers before he got into the car so he wouldnt get sick. And just thinking of eating something had him salivating almost instantly. He opened his eyes and for some reason the image of a Popeye's Chicken logo popped into his head.

 

He could totally drink a bucket of fried chicken right now. Oooh, and a meal came with a biscuit to drizzle honey all over and--Whoa! Baekhyun paused mid-thought, he was really thinking about food a lot all of a sudden. 

 

"Ma!" He whispered loudly. He grabbed the woman's arm desperately. "If--if I am, you know--" He motioned to his belly. "--will you still love me?"

 

His mom closed her eyes and seemed to be gathering strength. Her bottom lip trembled a bit and she put her warm and soft hand onto his cheek.

 

"My baby Byun..." She breathed. "You are my son and nothing could ever make me stop loving you. Nothing."

 

Baekhyun let out a breath in relief even though he was still twitching anxiously.

 

"With that said," Mom added gently. "I can't promise I won't kill you if you really are pregnant. You know, because I love you."

 

Baekhyun's teeth started chattering. When Dr. Matthews finally came in all smiles and merry greetings, he nearly slid to the floor.

 

She asked a bunch of questions that left him absolutely speechless or stuttering like a damn fool. His mom had a list, literally (in red ink no less), of all the questionable and concerning things he'd been doing lately. Hearing it all described so clearly made him fidget in worry. He had no idea his mom had been watching him so closely. She knew things he couldn't even recall doing... Or eating. Especially his weird cravings. He was down pretty much anything with food in it as long as it was drenched in sriracha sauce.

 

"I think he's pregnant..." His mom finally admitted. "That or he's got tape worm..." She actually didn't sound upset, just resigned. If Dr. Matthews was even slightly surprised she didn't show it. 

 

Baekhyun lowered his head in shame anyway. Then he twitched. Ew... tape worm??

 

He'd been twelve when he found out he'd been born bi-reproductive. He could produce eggs and ovulate (he even got cramps and the mood swings) but he didn't possess the total ability to produce viable embryos without supplements (via needles or pills) so they just got broken down inside his body. He'd never seen any blood so he forgot about what his body could do. He barely noticed it happened honestly.

 

And it wasn't just him.

 

Male pregnancy was possible in anyone now. One could literally grow a uterus (though it would be weaker compared to one a female was born with) with hormone therapy.

 

Baekhyun knew all of this. He'd listened in health class and he'd known of a classmate named Huang Zitao who had been pregnant during his last three months of high school. It was strange but not that big a deal. People were just used to it.

 

"Are you ually active?" Dr. Matthews asked him, despite his mom's admission, as she pressed a pen to a clipbaord. Baekhyun actually looked offended at the personal question for a second, then he remembered he was talking to his doctor. She'd seen him fresh out of his mother's womb, , purple, and covered in blood.

 

There was no point in being shy.

 

"Not... anymore... And it was only one guy..." He admitted. "It's been nearly three months ago since I last... uh... Um..."

 

Dr. Matthews nodded to save him from his own embarrassment and then asked him if he'd practiced safe . All he could do was turn cherry red in response. Dr. Matthews just nodded, clearly taking his body language as a no.

 

"Well many of your symptoms could be signs of early pregnancy or even acute anxiety and stress. Your mother told me a lot's going on in your life right now. You've got your last year of highschool. Exams. Work. Peer pressure... To cover all of our basis we will run a few tests. Honestly, strange food cravings could be an iron deficiancy, poor quality of sleep, or even your thyroid levels. Anything. I'll need a few blood samples."

 

Baekhyun in a breath so hard a few flecks of spit hit the back of his throat and chocked him. He bent over hacking and coughing while his mother patted his back to help him recover. For one nervous second, he forgot the real reason why he was sitting in a tiny white room as he was overcome by fear and anxiety. 

 

God, he hated needles. He couldn't even donate blood because his phobia was so strong. If he himself  ever needed a blood transfusion, he'd just request a quick death via bullet to the head.

 

Baekhyun took his mom's hand and squeezed it. "Wait! Don't I just p-p-pee in a cup?! Or on one of those pregnacy test popsicle sticks!" He cried. 

 

"You'll do that too." Dr. Matthews said with a slight smile. It was oddly comforting but Baekhyun wondered, suspiciously, if the medical professional used that same smile on her own kids to disarm them. Her twin sons went to his highschool. "I know you're not a fan of needles. I still chuckle a little from your reaction to your first booter shot."

 

Baekhyun blushed deeper. 

 

"But this is necessary to determine you're in good health. I promise it won't hurt so much as sting a little bit."

 

"Oh-okay...?" Baekhyun chocked robotically. God, he was going to die.

 

His mother gave his thigh a reassuring squeeze as Dr. Matthews motioned for Baekhyun to follow her out of the room to have his blood drawn. It only took a few minutes before he was being greeted by another nurse and sitting in a chair with a rubber cord around his bicep.

 

"Ohmygod..." Baekhyun whined thickly and shook. 

 

He blanked as soon as he saw the empty vials, there was an annoying prick of pain in his arm, and before he knew it he was being handed an empty cup and ushered to a small restroom. He was so nervous and anxious that he had trouble aiming and filling the cup. While he washed his hands and tried not to be concerned about how dark yellow his urine was, he thought about how if he was pregnant, how would the baby come out?

 

He'd heard c-sections were the safest method of delivery for males because they didn't have a cervix that could dialate. The survival rate was very high for both parent and child but a cut open lower abdomen did nothing to reduce the excruciating pain of a tiny human attempting to squeeze itself out of your body. Despite the real lack of a birth canal, the baby would shift and drop. Baekhyun had this weird idea the pain would feel like a Tai Kwon elbow jab and a Wushu kick to his innards.

 

Contractions were a very real thing. 

 

Baekhyun shivered. He had zero tolerance for pain. He got a bad cramp in his side once during cross-country and just about collapsed. He'd been about to cry at a needle picking his inner elbow. He was sure he'd be a blubbering mess if he had to give birth.

 

The seventeen year old shook his head and pressed a palm to his stomach. It growled and grumbled and he lifted his shirt to look at his body. He'd never been toned or had abs. Even running track five days a week his body just remained soft and curvy. To his own eyes he looked exactly the same. 

 

"There can't be anyone in here..." He whispered and gave his stomach a fleeting but firm stoke. He felt content with how it was still flat but soft. Wouldn't a baby leave a hard knot? Baekhyun was almost tempted to tap his stomach and say "Hello? Eh yo, roll like a buffalo if anyone's growing in there!", but then he realized a fetus wouldn't be able to reply.

 

Baekhyun finished in the bathroom, washing his hands three more times, then he handed the warm container of his pee to the nurse and stood there awkwardly biting his bottom lip and shuffling his feet while she filled out a form and put stickers on the container. 

 

"Um... Do you need me for anything else?" He asked meekly. Suddenly he felt so small and on the spot. The nurse probably had some idea why he was here. She was taller than him and gave him a small smile.

 

"Nope. You're all good so you can head back to your room."

 

Baekhyun nodded and turned, his movementshirt a bit jerky. He was halfway down a hall when he started to see black spots before his vision. He felt faint and it took everything in him not to sink to the cool but germ infested tile floor and lay down.

 

"O-oh crap..." He breathed weakly.

 

Another nurse was a few feet behind him and she must have picked up on his distress because she was suddenly next to him, almost propping him up and holding a small bottle of sugary apple juice and a pack of cookies. She led him back to his room with a gentle hand on his lower back. 

 

"Easy. Sometimes having your blood drawn can make you a bit lightheaded." She explained.

 

"Oh, is that what this feeling is?" Baekhyun wondered in a daze as he shuffled back to his appointed room with his treats in hand. His mother was staring at a pamphlet when he entered and she jumped like she'd been caught doing something wrong.

 

"Hi. How'd it go?" She wondered in a hushed voice. Baekhyun sat down next to her and hastily opened his juice before it down in thirsty chugs. 

 

"I'm gonna be sick," He admitted after swallowing. His hands were shaking and he did look pale. "They took like, a gallon of my blood and one of the vials was just thrown away like it was nothing. I totally needed that!" His voice warbled. "I almost peed all over the toilet trying to aim and then I almost fainted in the hallway. Please let me die. I wanna go home."

 

His mom chuckled at his rambling but rubbed his back reassuringly. "It shouldn't take long for them to know your test results."

 

Baekhyun ripped open the pack of cookies and stuffed one into his mouth whole. It tasted so good. Every bit of butter and chocolate flavor seemed almost amplified. He'd never really even liked sweets but he was already shoving a second cookie into his mouth. He chewed the sugary treat and closed his eyes in satisfaction. Then a small happy sigh escaped him.

 

"My poor baby..." Came his mom's tender voice.

 

Baekhyun had been so engrossed in his snack that he'd forgotten she was there. His brain blips were happenung a lot. He turned to look at her and it was obvious by the lines in her forehead and around her eyes that she was barely holding it together. 

 

Baekhyun immediately felt the urge to cry. His mouth fell open and a cookie crumb tumbled out. "Mom...?" He squeaked. "Momma, please don't be sad. I'm sorry for stressing you out. I'll do better."

 

His mother shook her head and reached out to press her palm to his cheek. She really gave him a good long once over. Baekhyun had always been a slender but curvy boy. His cheekbones were high and sharp and he had a wide pelvis. Now his face was fuller and his entire body was rounder all over. He'd been wearing oversized t-shirts and ill fitting basketball shorts, subconsciously dressing for his added but subtle weight gain. 

 

She didn't need a doctor to tell her what she already knew instinctively. Baekhyun was about to give her a grandchild. 

 

"I know baby. You already do." Mom Byun smiled gently. "We'll get through this. We'll be fine no matter what happens."

 

Dr. Matthews came in and her eyes were glued to her clipboard.

 

"So I have your test results. And there's both good news and potentially not so good news."

 

Baekhyun quickly swallowed the last chewed bits of his cookie. He didn't need to choke on a chocolate chip right now. It hit him that in a few minutes his life could be about to change forever.

 

"Just give it to me straight..." Baekhyun said with false brovado. Even as he spoke his cheeks clenched in anticipation.

 

Dr. Matthews nodded. "First off. You're dehydrated. Not to the point if needing an IV but this is definately concerning given the heat. I want you taking in more fluids. Sports drinks help but stick to the sugar free kind or plain pedialyte works."

 

Baekhyun nodded slowly but his heart rate sped up.

 

"Next, your red blood cell count was on the low end. This is actually typical in teenagers so don't worry too much. I'll get you started on a low dose iron supplement right away. You'll need them more than ever now..."

 

Baekhyun's mother in a breath and gripped his hand.

 

"And last... Mr. Byun, you are indeed... pregnant."

 

His mother gasped and his mouth just fell open.

 

Dr. Matthews gave a small reassuring smile. "We'll need to perform an ultrasound to be sure but based on your symptoms and last fertile cycle, you're roughly 11 or 12 weeks along."

 

Baekhyun felt like the world stopped rotating.  

 

Holy. 

 

ing. 

 

.

 

Twelve weeks? Baekhyun counted on his shakey fingers... Seven days, times all of the too many seconds to count that he didn't know, plus--Wait, how many weeks were in a month? A lot? He was a lot pregnant.

 

"Ohmygod..." Baekhyun breathed. 

 

"Three." His mom said. Baekhyun thanked her then gasped. 

 

Three months!?

 

And he'd actually had a whole lot of with Chanyeol before the actual "last time" so it was possible he was even further along than that. He had no way to monitor a cycle like females did. He forgot he even had one. How the hell was he potentially three months pregnant and didn't notice? Wasn't there supposed to be some obvious sign? A feeling? A glow? The squirming sensation of a little being moving around inside of you?

 

Ill timed and life ruining puking?

 

Baekhyun swallowed thickly because suddenly, every bit of apple juice and chocolate chip cookie was turning rancid in his stomach and creeping back up is throat. 

 

Oh, there it was. 

 

"Ohmygod..." He gagged and gripped his stomach. "Ohmyinggod!" He smacked his hand over his mouth and closed his eyes.

 

Doctor Matthews had a small trashcan held out in front of him in the blink of an eye but the urge to vomit passed just as quickly as it came. Now Baekhyun just felt overheated.

 

Honestly he didn't know how to react. Normal people would probably start crying or yelling but he started breathing hard, nearly panting, and stood up to pace the room. His mother and Dr. Matthews shot each other him concerned expressions before turning back to him.

 

"Baekhyun.... Easy baby..." His mom urged soothingly. 

 

"I'm pregnant?" He rasped and looked around with wide eyes. "There's really a tiny, undeveloped human inside of me? A baby!? There's a baby inside of me?!"

 

He was sure he sounded damn near hysterical. "I'm only seventeen. I can't have a kid inside me yet! No, that test has to be wrong! Are you sure? Maybe it's a tumour or hell I'm just getting fat!" Baekhyun his arm out at Dr. Matthews. The dark skinned woman must have had the reaction power of a Gladiator because she didn't seem fazed by his freak out.

 

"Here, take more blood! All of it if you have to. I'll go fill ten cups with pee if you need it as long as that test comes back negative!" Baekhyun shook his arm.

 

"Baekhyun, I apologize but that's not possible." Dr. Matthews said gently. "There are options we can go over but please take a deep breath and try to calm down."

 

Baekhyun did as he was instructed, actually feeling a bit calmer, but after a few repetitions he could only stare at her in a wide eyed stupor. What was he going to do? He was about to start the 12th grade and then college. He made $9.50 an hour at a grocery store and it all went to his savings for school or to his mom. 

 

He could not afford a baby.

 

More than once he'd been the unfortunate worker-drone forced to stock the baby section at the grocery store. He knew how much baby stuff cost. There was diapers, formula, bottles, wipes, those little onesies thingies... Numerous doctors visits. And nevermind a crib, a stroller, and a baby carrier. Baekhyun's kid was going tosleep in his bed and be strapped to his chest while he rode his bike.

 

"Ungh... They're so expensive..." Baekhyun whined without thinking. He knew he could easily spend a years college tuition on a baby.

 

Baekhyun's mother stood up and gently took him by the arm. "Baek--"

 

"Mom, I can't have a baby right now." He cried. "We can barely feed ourselves. We're still behind on the mortgage! I mean, I could put off college for a year to just work and help you out but it still won't be enough... Will our insurance even cover this check-up?"

 

Baekhyun's mother looked like she'd been slapped and her eyes flooded with tears. "Baek... What are you even saying? Let's just calm down and think about this..." 

 

She shot a pleading look at Dr. Matthews silently asking for some privacy. The doctor nodded and made a quiet exit.

 

Baekhyun sat down hard and hid his face in his hands. He was shaking so hard the vibration made his chair move a bit.

 

"I can't have a baby! I can't! I mean, I can--I kinda ing have to now--but how the hell is it gonna come out? Look at how little I am!" Baekhyun looked up at the ceiling like it held all of his answers and held out his hands like he was catching rain. "Giving birth will hurt and there'll be blood and I'm a wimp and too broke to afford the pain medication and I know they have to give it to people in labor with a needle--oh my god--I'm gonna split in half!"

 

Baekhyun's mom reared back a little because he suddenly whipped around to look at her and frantically shrieked; "Mom, Chanyeol is all bones with a bobble-head so this kid's head is gonna be huge--I'm so sorry for ing up like this!"

 

"Oh, honey..." His mother pulled him into a tight hug and that was all it took for him to start sobbing uncontrollably. He'd cried more in the last week and a half than he had his entire life.

 

"Shhh, baby just breathe, okay. Bre~~athe." His mom sang tenderly. It hurt her so much to hear her son sound so distressed. He was so concerned about money and he'd always tried so hard to handle things on his own. "It doesn't matter how much any of this will cost. That's not for you to worry about."

 

Baekhyun in a few spotty enhales through his nose before pulling back and rubbing at his eyes. "B-but it is. T-t-this is my fault so I have to f-f-fix this..."

 

Baekhyun's mother sighed. She was a realist so she was going to have to just be blunt. "Baek you really only have three options. Keep the baby and we work hard to raise it. Adoption, which can take time and requires interviews and can be very stressful. Or an abortion... And we can't wait much longer if you go with the third option. Either choice will affect your life in different ways. But that's just it, this is your life. Whatever decision you make I'll support you."

 

Baekhyun paused and swallowed hard. He didn't miss how his mom kept saying "we", indicating she really would help him through this. He felt immensely comforted and lucky. This was a huge deal and honestly, he felt weirded out that she wasn't yelling and screaming at him about how he'd disgraced their family and his ancestors were all going to haunt him in his dreams now.

 

Still, she made it sound so simple. 

 

"I'm so stupid..." He admitted. "This is all happening so fast! Why didn't I use protection? What about when I get big and people notice? How do I explain this to Chanyeol? Should we get married now? His family is just as broke as us and I can't ask for child support! And--God, I screwed up so bad..." Baekhyun squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his hands to his belly. 

 

"You didn't screw up alone." His mom said.

 

Baekhyun looked up at her and actually managed a small but helpless smile. 

 

"Listen, we just found out," Momma Byun said. "Give yourself a chance to really absorb the news. Either way we'll make this work. I'd never let you struggle."

 

Baekhyun closed his eyes because he was too overcome with emotions again. He was terrified and relieved and nervous and... A bit excited. He sat down and pressed his palms to his stomach before leaning over to put his head between his legs.

 

"Can we just... go home now?" He pleaded softly. "I'm tired..."

 

His mother nodded and went to get Doctor Matthews. After a brief discussion, advice and suggestions, and a trip to the pharmacy, Baekhyun and his mother were headed home with a bag full of vitamins and many things to think about. 

 

The car ride was quiet. Baekhyun was exhausted so he dozed and tried not to regret his life choices. Everything was different now that he knew he was pregnant. The air smelled different. His skin felt different. He was painfully aware of every movement inside of his body. He wondered if he thought about it hard enough if the baby would move.

 

Instead his stomach growled extra loud. It caught them both of them off guard and they actually both chuckled. The tension in the air thinned a bit.

 

"I'll start dinner as soon as we get in." His mom said.

 

Baekhyun's mouth flooded with saliva at the mere mention of food. If he had any tears left he'd start crying again. 

 

Soon they were pulling into the drive way. Heechul's car was there and Baekhyun groaned, knowing he'd be questioned about his obvious bag of rattling medications. The pair sat there staring at the garage door with the air conditioning running so they wouldn't melt from the Summer heat.

 

"I-I can't... have an abortion." Baekhyun admitted suddenly.

 

His mom turned to look at him with an understanding smile. "Don't force yourself to decide now."

 

Baekhyun nodded. It wasn't lost on him that with one more hospital visit this whole situation could all be over. No one but him and his mom would ever have to know how badly he'd ed up and he could move on with his life, go to college, get a good job, then decide to have more kids that he could actually support and properly care for. 

 

Part of him was terrified of gaining too much weight and the stares and whispers he'd get at school. He got picked on enough for being petite and "pretty" for a guy. A few people, as in too many, knew he'd hooked up with Chanyeol over break and being pregnant would just confirm that. By the time Summer break ended he'd be showing. He'd have to tell all of his teachers and drop out of cross country and he'd miss hanging out with friends and university life for a while too.

 

At least he'd have given birth by the time graduation day came.

 

Baekhyun sighed, surprised to realize most of all of his concerns didn't bother him all that much. The one thing that did besides being broke was;

 

"...I don't know anything about being a parent..."

 

His mom barked a laugh. "Hell, no one does. I still have no clue how I managed to raise you." She teased. "You'll be fine."

 

Baekhyun turned to look at his mother and frowned. He didn't understand why she was so understanding.

 

"How are you so okay with this?" He had to ask.

 

His mom breathed in slowly and looked around the front yard. Then she shrugged. " happens." She said plainly.

 

Baekhyun shook his head. This was going to all be stressful as hell. He sighed, resigned to his fate. "I'll put off college until Spring the following year... My scholarships will still be there. I can work at night..."

 

"And I can watch the baby while you're at work." His mom offered.

Hearing her say "the baby" outloud actually took Baekhyun's breath away. He could only nod mutely.

"We've got this Baek. We can be lost and flustered together. " His mom said. She sounded somewhat relieved. She had to release a breath she didn't realize she was holding before she spoke. True, she didn't want Baekhyun to go through any of this but at least ending the precnancy was off the table.

"We'll schedule an ultrasound for a week from now...?" His mom suggested after shutting off the car.

Baekhyun nodded. He knew what an ultrasound was but damn it sounded kind of scary. He'd get to see the baby and hear it make whooshing sounds. It'd really be real once he heard the heart beating.

"I'm really sorry..." Baekhyun was saying again. He had a feeling he'd be apologizing a lot really soon. His mom was very caring but he knew she was putting on a brave front. There was no way she was totally okay with this.

 

"I don't want you to keep apologizing," Momma Byun said firmly. "I won't lie, I'm very disappointed in you. This wasn't the plan... But what's done is done."

Baekhyun felt a swell of tears threatening to spill over (so he did still have some left) and he sniffled and nodded. Once they were out of the car and inside the house Baekhyun immediately made a run for the stairs to get to his room. As soon as he was inside his room a wave of dizziness hit him and he stumbled over to collapse onto his back onto his bed. It took a long second to pass and as it subsided, Baekhyun rubbed his belly. When he realized what he was doing he recoiled with a gasp and sprang up off the bed.

He was going to have a baby! Chanyeol's baby to be more precise. In a few months a wailing, soft, sweet scented and delicate little being would be in his arms.

"He's going to freak..." Baekhyun whispered, referring to Chanyeol. ", I'm going to have a "baby daddy". 

 

He'd last been with Chanyeol in mid May.