Valentine's Special

---

It had been a week since she'd last seen her.

"Dyke's absent again, huh?"

"Probably couldn't handle being seen anymore."

"Hell, I would too if I came out like that."

"Well, I can't blame her. If some dyke claimed I was with her I'd freak too. Why would I have some tomboy ruin my reputation?"

Jessica winced from the harsh words that spilled like an open wound. Did she really sound like that?

Tiffany...

She tried not to think too much—tried not to dwell and focus on the now. But the ache and incessant pain engulfing her chest was unbearable. Every beat throbbed with guilt; her blood spilling regret through her veins.

It was difficult to go through classes when she knew Tiffany wouldn't be there.

...Where are you?

Slowly, she gently closed her locker with a light click and gradually made her way to first period.

I didn't mean it.

Jessica held her books close to her chest; her brows furrowed and gaze blankly facing forward. Her mind couldn't help but wander elsewhere; just thinking.

It had been like this ever since that day she last saw Tiffany. That day when she pretended—lied—of having no clue whatsoever of any relationship with Tiffany. That she had no idea what the latter was talking about.

"I'm not like you... Dyke."

Her grip on her textbook tightened, fingers turning white.

She didn't mean it.

And now she can't find Tiffany anywhere. The girl hadn't been attending classes at all ever since, and Jessica was worried. No form of contact was made: no text, no call...

But I deserve it.

Even if it still weighed on her heavy heart.

"Yeah, I knew it; dyke isn't here."

Jessica ignored the laughter that erupted as soon as she entered the room, sending them cold looks as their voices died down from her presence. Perhaps they understood that she wasn't interested in moronic acts, even if she was the cause of such gossip.

Returning her gaze towards her desk, it wasn't the empty seat beside her's that made her heart pause and breath stuck.

Stepping closer for a clearer inspection, she slowly trailed her hands over the rim of the cup, brown eyes scanning curiously over the white paper neatly folded on top. Somehow, it didn't surprise her that there was no clear indication of who it was; just blank and clean and neatly placed.

But instinctively, Jessica knew.

And that was why her chest hammered like drums and her ears throbbed from the bass that pounded against her head.

Jessica knew everyone else was watching, evidently curious and nosy from the sudden silence that enveloped the room, but she couldn't care less.

Seating herself quietly, she set her books down beside the cup and paper, hesitantly eyeing the items on her desk.

Should she open it?

But I...

Jessica knew she shouldn't expect anything from it; why would she? This was their first form of communication ever since she lied to Tiffany and to the rest of the student body; just so she could save herself and her reputation.

And it wasn't worth it.

Holding her breath, Jessica took the paper and slowly opened it, the words appearing magnified under her intense scrutiny.

"I figured you'd appreciate staying awake for the exam today, so here's a cup of caramel coffee to keep you up until then. Wishing you luck,"

- III

Perhaps she should be more concerned with the way Tiffany had signed the letter—three—at the end. That she should figure out what it could mean and what it stood for. But Jessica couldn't focus on anything else except the cup of caramel coffee that she now held between her hands.

Jessica wanted to wipe away the sad smile that curved against her lips.

All she could ever think about was Tiffany and how much she missed her.

She had forgotten about the exam.

With a shaky grip, Jessica held the cup close against her lips, eyes instinctively closing at the sweet aroma as she savored her favorite drink.

It didn't surprise her that caramel coffee didn't taste the same anymore.

---

Perhaps she should have been more surprised that there was another letter waiting for her the next day.

But deep down, she somehow knew that there would be another one to greet her that early morning.

Cookies and cream.

Jessica couldn't keep the smile from taking her lips a second time as she sat down; mood suddenly bright. Truthfully, Jessica wondered what Tiffany was doing, but it was nice of her to greet her so uniquely and even sweetly before class.

But the guilt only ever grew bigger.

Delicately, Jessica opened the second letter, nervously weaving through each words as if her life hung over the edge. She still couldn't help but hold in her breath.

"A light snack is good for you before class. Wouldn't want you falling asleep, y'know? So chew slowly, and don't forget to take notes!"

- II

And Jessica felt like crying.

Tiffany had always been the one to keep her awake and remind her to take notes off the board. She had always told her the importance of school and getting good grades to reach success for a brighter future.

But Jessica couldn't care less.

She'd rather pretend to fall asleep and have Tiffany wake her every two minutes just to have all of the latter's attention on her.

And it always worked.

Unconsciously, during the lecture, Jessica's eyes would wander off to the room's entrance; waiting. Even after the bell had long tolled, Jessica still kept her eyes trained on the door, hope fleeting. 

How long had she been sitting there since everyone else had left? An hour? Or was it two?

They don't matter to me.

She had the last cookie in her hand, and it tasted salty.

Jessica wondered how long her vision had been obscured by the tears that still continued to flow.

---

"Getting something for your love tomorrow?"

"Well, I'm not so sure. Valentine's lame anyway. She prefers it if we skipped to the good part."

The ruckus and busy bodies shuffling through the halls made Jessica's head throb with annoyance. The bright banners and balloons were blinding; carrying the heavy words "Happy Valentine's Day" that plastered against the walls of the school.

Jessica had forgotten about that.

Valentines.

It was tomorrow.

And Jessica finally understood the numbers that were signed on each letter as she opened the third one; gears in her mind beginning to turn.

Strawberries and bananas.

"Sometimes, we need to eat healthy and take care of ourselves independently. You'll be fine on your own, won't you?"

- I

Jessica didn't understand the last half of Tiffany's letter.

It sounded awfully like a goodbye.

But why?

Why count down to Valentine's day?

Despite the possible implications of Tiffany counting the days, Jessica couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding. It tugged at her heart, as if the outcome of tomorrow won't be as expected on Valentine's. Her instincts told her it was something else entirely.

So Jessica ran.

She ran out of the classroom, not caring whether she successfully toppled the professor who just walked in, and sprinted as if her life depended on it.

And to her, it did.

Please, just let me properly apologize.

Jessica didn't know who she was talking to, but that wasn't what mattered to her. She felt like she was losing Tiffany, and to let her go was equivalent to breathing her last breath.

She couldn't afford to have Tiffany disappear.

"I'm sorry, but we haven't heard from Miss Hwang for quite a while. Perhaps you should try the office?"

"Sorry, but we can't seem to reach Miss Hwang. Why not try the counselor's?"

"Miss Hwang?" Jessica scrutinized the woman sitting calmly across from her; her posture firm and upright. "Her whereabouts are confidential, Miss Jung. You should understand that the school does not provide access for students to receive information." Her brows furrowed ever-so-slightly as her air of indifference and authority enveloped the room. "I apologize for the inconvenience."

And Jessica didn't bother thanking her as she paced quickly out of the room.

She was wasting her time.

---

Jessica's nerves were acting up more so than usual.

It was Valentine's day.

And there sat, atop her desk, another letter neatly tucked into a pink envelope.

Jessica trailed gently against the black ink of Tiffany's name written simply against the pink canvas. She couldn't help but let out a weak chuckle at the sight of her name revealed on the envelope.

Jessica already knew it was her all along.

With shaky fingers, Jessica tentatively pulled the crisp letter from the pink envelope, eyeing the red, tangled string that fell out.

"I don't quite know what to say, since I tend to run out of words when I think of you. Then again, our relationship didn't need many words, right?"

Jessica felt her chest tug painfully as her mind easily pictured Tiffany right in front of her; those dark eyes staring right through her as her husky voice enveloped her mind.

"...It had hurt, for a while. The people laughing... and you. But I understand why, so no need to worry about it, okay? Family first, so go make your parents happy; I'll be supporting you every step of the way."

And Jessica wiped away the puddle that pooled beneath her lids.

"I couldn't think of anything to give you on Valentine's day, even though we aren't really together anymore. It's a red, tangled string; like the red string of fate. I hope you don't mind!"

Jessica couldn't.

She felt like she was crying a river now.

But no one was there to see her break apart as she sat there, two hours before class would actually start. Jessica felt the need to arrive early, hoping that she'd catch Tiffany plant the letters on her desk, but she didn't see her.

"But the reason it's tangled is because it shows that we won't ever be pulled apart. At least, in my eyes, you'll always be mine. I'd... really like for you to be at the end of my red string."

And Jessica didn't care how cheesy and eerily romantic Tiffany was with her words. It shook her to the core, and knowing the story behind the red string of fate, Jessica honestly didn't mind the typical cliches.

"So, happy Valentine's day, Jessi. I'll miss you."

- 0

And Jessica didn't give a damn when she sprinted out of the classroom, her chair toppling to the floor, her grip on the tangled piece of string firm.

Jessica wasn't deaf.

She heard someone walking down the hall.

It has to be Tiffany! It can't be anyone else!

"Tiffany!" Jessica yelled, watching a dark figure swiftly turn a corner towards the exits of the school.

She pushed her legs harder as she wiped the tears from her face. Jessica couldn't allow such weakness to obscure her sight to see. Her chest heaved and breaths came out as short huffs as she quickly pushed against the doors to open. 

The break of dawn momentarily kept her still as she squinted to clear her vision. The bright light blinded her and made it difficult to catch the fading figure crossing the gates of the school; a backpack hanging loosely over one shoulder.

Jessica knew then, spotting the signature totoro chain dangling over the edge.

"Tiffany!" Jessica didn't bother waiting for the girl to turn around as she ran to her, legs weakening as she loomed closer; their gap finally closing. 

She watched the figure turn, pulling their headphones out of their ears and spotted those dark eyes widening from surprise as she enveloped her into a crushing hold.

Jessica felt Tiffany take a few stumbling steps back from the fierce momentum she carried as she wrapped an arm to keep Jessica steady. Her knees had finally buckled and Tiffany's firm grip was the only thing that kept her from falling.

The shocked tone that laced Tiffany's voice sent familiar chills as Jessica breathed against her collar bone; gasping for air as her lips grazed smooth skin. Her nose brushed Tiffany's neck as the latter spoke with surprise.

"J-Jessica?" The vibration from Tiffany's throat tickles Jessica's cheek as the latter attempted to suppress the new onslaught of tears that threatened to spill.

Jessica didn't want to let go.

"Where are you going...?" Her whisper was hoarse, evidently dry as she squeezed herself closer to Tiffany; swirls of emotions consuming her being.

There were so many things Jessica wanted to say at that moment.

She wanted to apologize, she wanted to tell her that she didn't mean it, but knowing that Tiffany was going off somewhere was all she could muster up to ask.

"...I'm going back home, to the States." Jessica felt Tiffany gently form a distance between them, pulling away as her dark eyes pierced through her with a steady gaze. "And you need to get to class."

Jessica could faintly hear the sounds of murmurs and chatter along the background, the entrance suddenly filled with students entering and scrutinizing. 

Their gazes made Jessica feel ; eyeing every inch of her figure as Tiffany kept her hands firmly placed on her shoulders.

"Hey, isn't that the dyke?"

"...And that Jung heiress?"

Jessica felt Tiffany's eyes flash then before letting her go; taking a step back as a small, pain-filled smile graces her lips.

Jessica hated it.

"You never stop smiling," she said, wanting to pull Tiffany back to her. "Even when you're hurt. I hate that." Jessica didn't like the weak smile that still took Tiffany's lips as she placed a step forward. "I hate it when you hide."

...I hate it when I hide.

"I hope you liked them," Tiffany began, seemingly dodging her statement as she readjusts her grip on her backpack. "The letters and the treats." Jessica watched Tiffany take another step back as she shoved her hands in her pockets. "Because I liked getting them, for you."

"Tiff—"

"—People are watching."

And Jessica paused, her hand mid-air to reach for Tiffany's face. Jessica's steps faltered and she lowered her arm, allowing it to hang loosely beside her. Her chest burned, pushing her to just ignore the many nosy eyes of bystanders curiously watching from the sidelines.

They had their phones out - ready. Ready to spread shallow gossip and heated rumors for sheer entertainment and amusement.

"Family is first priority, Jess." Tiffany said, her eyes turning into slit crescents, a wry smile curved against her lips. "Make them happy."

She couldn't allow herself to just watch and let Tiffany slip from her fingers a second time. 

Not without trying.

The bell had already rung.

"Jess, class is about to start." Tiffany said quietly, but Jessica ignored her. 

Her ears paid attention to the dissipating crowd of students that appeared to have grown impatient from the lack of action. She watched them enter through the large doors with a hopeful heart.

Jessica was thankful.

Gripping Tiffany's wrist, Jessica murmured shyly under her breath; hesitant.

"...I'll miss you too."

And seeing Tiffany's warm smile made her ears burn as the former loomed closer.

Her free hand clenched the piece of string tightly, feeling its smooth cloth press against her skin.

Jessica felt her eye lids gradually draw shut as Tiffany closed the meager gap between them. Her skin tingled and breath hitched as Tiffany pressed her lips just below her own; a chaste kiss against her chin.

Jessica wasn't disappointed.

"Don't lose yours," Tiffany whispered against her chin, playful. "Because I won't lose mine."

And Jessica felt Tiffany grasp her other hand, pressing the tangled red string against her palm, her skin warm against her own.