I thought nothing could be worse than having five roommates —five freaking dormmates in which I had to gather all of my willpower to put up with 24/7 until the end of my contract— and man, was I wrong. The moment that they mentioned sharing a room with one of them was like telling me to get jailed, or worse, to be kept prisoner alongside some cannibals who wanted to skin me alive. I never was a generous person to begin with and the idea of (maybe) lending my things to someone else never crossed my mind. But, if I shared my room, automatically some of our belongings were going to get mixed up.

my life.

What if he mistook my underwear with his?

Gross.

Absolutely gross.

I didn't want to wear a cloth that has come into contact with someone else's... junior (Auto-censoring. I love myself.). Well, you know what I mean right? That was not hygienic at all, given a normally constituted man goes through having what we generally call a morningwood.

My god, I alone am making myself disgusted with the whole sharing thing.

"So, you have two choices, either you share Chanyeol’s or my and Sehun’s room." Suho stated in his manly and cool way, leaving me the choice of my life. That choice was as hard as choosing between devouring my favorite fried chicken with Baekbeom —my one and only y Hyung who got all the tallness of my father, that son of a poop — and savoring an intimate dinner with Taeyeon Noona, eating Korean BBQ together on a date.

Well that choice wasn’t the hardest. The date with Taeyeon would definitely be my first choice.

Pardon my foolishness.

Back to my problem. If I decided to share the room with the skyscreeper, it will be definitely end up turning out as if I bought a one-way ticket to Hell. I would pee —or even in my pants once in a while, just seeing him smirking and… I might be found dead on a lonely day, assassinated by this psycho. I was way too young and way too fabulous to die in such a dog-like way. I deserve at least to die on a white sandy beach, in the Caribbean surrounded by the nine members of Girls Generation singing Echo, dressed exactly as they are in the MV.

Ok, I really like Girls Generation. Got a problem with that?

Anyway.

I unquestionably didn’t want to sleep in the same room as… him. On the other hand, we would be the only two in the big room, while we’d be three with Beanpole and Gentleman. But then again, Suho was definitely the kindest from the band. Sharing with him could bring me protection... and normality.

“Hyung, let him see the room first before inviting him!” I heard Beanpole complain out loud, not even hiding his fierce opposition to me being in the same room with him.

That maknae was seriously going to get on my nerves really soon.    

“The moment he sees your room, he’ll run straight into my arms.” Skycreeper hastened to add, that annoying smirk never leaving his lips. “Even the cockroaches avoid that particular room.” Shrimp confirmed, nodding his head at the same time.

Wait.

Did he just say cockroaches?

PD-Nim, will all due respect, may I inform you that I absolutely didn’t agree and sign to live along with aliens and insects!? I seek reimbursement, right away!

An arm grabbed mine and dragged me towards a corridor that led to the rooms. “This is Suho and Sehun’s room. This is not for weak-hearted, so I hope you have a strong stomach. Or else, we have masks, if you want.” Justin — yeah I arrived two hours ago and he still hadn’t left yet— offered in his broken Korean but I kept silent, not even understanding what they were talking about. Was Sehun secretly developing some kind of chemical, making the room dangerous? Or was he perhaps growing drugs on his balcony? Oh my god, the beanpole maknae was a dealer?!

I suddenly felt scared to go into the room. With a shaking hand, I grabbed the handle and cracked the door open, revealing a dark room. The blinds were still closed. I d around, trying to find the switch. Once I found it, I turned the light on, only to switch it off almost instantly after seeing what we could call a… a… well, let’s be honest, it was a dump. A freaking dump! Only two seconds were enough for me to feel nauseous. I saw an old Domino’s Pizza box, the contents inside seeming to look like a spinach pizza —but we all know Domino’s menu didn’t include spinach pizza. Clothes were everywhere including on the ceiling light, where a dirty pair of underpants was hanging and the dreadful smell of worn-out-during-dance-practices socks overran the atmosphere. Never in my 19 years of life had I seen such a pigsty.

“Suho-Hyung is kinda… messy.”

Messy? Y