A/N: I thought I would start off with a sincere apology to all my readers *bows deeply* I know i promised updates fairly quickly and I'm not going to try and make excuses, (well, apart from being really ill for two weeks) I just had an evil case of writers block. I thought about it alot, and I finally worked out how i'm going to move my story along a little slower than originally planned, but I will introduce more characters to you that will be vital later on. I am also going to take up the advice from one of my lovely subscribers and make my chapters longer and have more action. (I tried for this chapter, i hope it did ok ;;) Again, i am so sorry and really hope you like this one~~ ^^ 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My heart sank a little, but at that moment I ignored it, this was an important matter to uncover. Did this have something to do with Jonghyun, is this why they weren’t talking to each other? Glancing up at the flushed boy, I wanted for an answer and with each passing moment, I became doubtful to receive; especially when the younger only moved away shyly from my touch, eyes avoiding mine.

“It’s nothing Hyung, don’t worry about it.” He rubbed the mark on his neck, turning away from me as he began to walk, the same aura reappeared from that morning, cold and harsh, distant and empty.

“Taemin, I’m worried, talk to-“ He whirled around, fire in his child-like eyes, his words harsh and unforgiving as they slip past his lips.
“Don’t. you aren’t my mother. I don’t need looking after.” For the first time in my life, his height actually became intimidating and I took a step back, my heart clenching in my chest at the words. A moment of hushed silence fell between us, the tension growing awkward.
“You’re right, I’m not. I’m sorry.” My voice came out quiet, my eyes dropping and I felt my usual defensive walls rise up. I blinked away the tears that began to prickle in my eyes, My jaw set in anger. My gaze dropped to the cracked sidewalk, fearful to look back into the boys’ cold eyes.

“Don’t-“ The younger boys face softened as he stepped towards me, but I was too quick, moving from his touch. He sighed in defeat, shoving his hands in his pockets, “I’ll see you later.” He gave me an odd sort of wave and walked off, and in a way, it felt like a piece of my heart was ripped out.

It took me a moment to even register what had happened, and with a huff, I tugged on my hair and turned in anger, looking for anything to hit. Grinding my teeth, I angrily kicked the brick wall closest to me. Instant pain spread over my toes and through my foot. “!” I swore, dropping my bag and sinking to the ground. Tears involuntarily poured from my eyes, despite the fact I was angrily brushing them away, with a few shallow words spoken to myself such as ‘stupid” and “”. I couldn’t help the feeling it was my fault Taemin had left. It wasn’t my business anyway, I was just being nosy. With a hearfelt sigh, I gave a hopeful glimpse around, hoping to see the boy but by now, he was out of sight. Shuffling across the ground, I moved into the shade, pulling my bag closer before I slipped off my shoe. With care, I pulled my sock off to inspect my quickly bruising toes and I scolded myself on being so careless. I had ruined my own birthday, bruised my toes and scared off Taemin.

So useless Kibum, you can’t seem to do anything right. With a sigh of defeat, I pulled out my phone and rang the only person I could think of. After a few sharp rings, His and sleepy voice spoke from the other end of the phone.

“Whatyouwan?” The voice commanded.
“Jonghyun-ah! It’s 11am, get up!” My umma instincts kicked in, scowling at the boy on the other end playfully.
“Yah! I can sleep in all I like, you aren’t my mother.” He joked, a laugh sounded over the receiver and I’m sure I would have laughed too if I didn’t feel like my heart broke all over again at the words. I waited a moment, recollecting my strength before speaking again.
“Can you come get me?” I tried to keep my voice steady as the lump in my throat grew thicker with emotion.
“Kibum?” His voice suddenly sounded his alarm, “Where are you? I’m coming now.” I gave him the address before shooting him a quick goodbye. I shoved my phone back into my pocket, a small comfort was brought to me by dragging the bag onto my lap and the soft fabric inside. I smiled a little, the print increasing my comfort, It was gorgeous, there was no doubt about it. Every time the thought of Taemin snuck back into my mind, I tried my hardest to push it back and think about what shoes or hair would go wonderfully with it.

As if I sensed it, my eyes shot up and I protectively hugged the bag. To my absolute horror, Kris coming into view, alone for the first time ever. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets, a scowl gracing his face which only meant trouble if he caught sight of me.

“-“ I whispered, jumping up and edging away from view. I took a few stumbled steps back to duck behind the sign but by then, it was already too late.

His eyes flicked up, his scowl disappearing only to be replaced with a sinister smile. “Hey! !” He laughed, eyes meeting mine and I rose up out of fear, turned the other way and began to run down the street. The bag crinkling against me chest, my feet thudded heavily against the pavement. Without looking around, I knew the boy was close behind me, shouting and cursing. I knew he was much faster than me but if I could only get somewhere with plenty of pedestrians, he couldn’t attack me. Searching around franticly, I saw a bus station full of people down one of the side alley, and out on the main road, and chain linked fence blocking me from them. Without thinking, I bolted down the dark alley way with the ambition to climb up and over the fence, on the way to freedom. Little was I aware how hard that would actually be, When I finally reached it, I began to awkwardly try and wedge my foot in the wire, boosting myself up with hope only to be grabbed by the back of my shirt and dragged back to the ground by Kris. I tried my hardest to pull away but with my weak nature against his football physic, I had no chance.

“Uh-uh, where do you think you are going in such a rush hmm?”  His breath brushed against my ear and I shivered at the unpleasant feeling before shoving him away. He laughed, snatching my wrists and holding them behind my back as he slammed me into the wire mesh fence.
“Get off me!” A muffled shout erupted from my lips, trying hard to pull my arms free.
“Mmm, What have we got here?” He let go, pulling the pink bag from my wrist with a sharp pull. With a yell, I began to reach for the bag, only to be shoved to the ground with little effort on his behalf. I watched in horror as he took a look into the bag. A confused expression washed over his features before he pulled out the dress, holding it on the side as he tried to piece it together in his head.

“Why have you got a dress?” He frowned as I remained scared, frozen in fear, hopeful that his tiny brain wouldn’t piece it together. “You don’t have a girlfriend, so it’s not for her.” He snorted, gripping the fabric roughly. “Is this yours? Are you going to wear this?” A loud howl broke from his lips as my cheeks flushed a deep red. “Living up to your name, honestly. You wanna be a queen too?” I jumped up, full of anger as I reached for the dress, tugging on the bottom half with all my might. Angered by my attempts to snatch it back, he drew his fist back and skin connected with skin as he punched me in the jaw. My vision clouded to black for a moment and as I was coming around Kris threaded his fingers through my hair and tugged roughly, so I looked up, my eyes meeting his. Something flashed in his eyes, I couldn’t quite pick it, but as his face came close to mine I tried to move, but he wasn’t letting me. I was waiting for degrading words or threats but they never came. It was silent and tense as he glared at me. A sudden yell caused Kris to turn around and his eyes widened in fear as he spotted Jonghyun sprinting towards us.

“ing freak.” He let go of my hair and landed another blow to my stomach before stepping over my crumbling body, dropping the dress on my chest and hoisting himself over the fence. I just laid on the cold concrete, confused and honestly felt like a freak for the first time. I had been living in a day dream, telling myself that this was normal to feel this way, and I even went as far as to buy a dress. Of course it wasn’t, I was a boy. Tears didn’t come like I had hoped, and Jonghyuns’ voice sounded distant as I got lost inside myself, feeling numb and alone, the pain burying today’s events so far down, I was scared I would explode, but I knew today wasn’t the day my feelings would erupt. Jonghyun dropped beside me, his fingers brushing over my skin and he began to yell in anger but I couldn’t hear a word. Instead, I just sat up dizzily, grabbing his jacket and pulled him into a tight hug.No sobs emerged from my chest, the feeling was something I hadn’t felt in a long time, it was just emptiness. I closed my eyes, relief washing over my chest at the comfort of another. As I relaxed, his words finally reached my ears.

“Kibum, are you ok? Where did he hurt you?” His hand touched the raw skin along my jaw and I flinched, avoiding eye contact.
“I’m fine.” I mumbled, fidgeting with the dress in my hands, noticing a long rip along the side where I had tried to tug it from his hands.
“Ki-“ He looked down at the dress, realisation dawning on his face, “Come on, lets get out of here.” He hoisted me off the ground, dusting me off as I tried my best to ignore the sick feeling rising from my stomach. What was I kidding myself for? I can’t- Pulling away from Jonghyun, I let out a large howl and threw the pink bag to the ground in anger, the dress sprawling across the ground of the dirty alley.

“Kibummie-“ Jonghyun looked at me in surprise, obviously not expecting me to do or say anything at all, but I hurt, all over. Im such a freak, a ing . Kris is right.
“Don’t Jonghyun- I’m sick of being this way.” I crouched down next to one of the bins, my eyes glancing over a broken mirror as I let my gaze run over my reflection with judgement and despair. I ran my fingers through my fringe pushing it away from my forehead, only to see a feminine face peering back at me. With a sigh, I let go of my hair, letting it frame my face once again and I took that moment to realise Jonghyun was crouched next to me. A weary smile settled on his lips as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, squeezing gently.

“Never put yourself down Bummie.” He spoke quietly, “You are just different. Of course you are going to feel as if you don’t belong, we are a narrow minded, bland society and if you go against it, you have the right to be treated as a freak. it's just the bull that's allow nowadays.” His hand crawled up from my shoulders and into my hair, ruffling it gently, “I like you for who you are, that will never change. I will always support you and you can try to push this lolita thing away and reject it, but then you are just rejecting your true calling. Your choice.” He stood up, and my mind swam with thoughts and emotions before settling on one.

“You are right, Kris’ just- you know how he is.” I let out a exhausted sigh, before standing up and collecting the dress and bag from the ground, hating myself for throwing it in the first place.
“I know, trust me. Lets go back to mine, hm?” He nodded, grabbing my arm gently and leading me to his nearby truck.

I nodded, my mind elsewhere as I followed him to his car. Would he flip out like Taemin did? He looked so calm, maybe even just a simple answer may help me better understand. Opening the truck door, I hoisted myself inside and strapped myself in, curling the pink fabric in my hands as Jonghyun started up the car with ease.

“Jonghyun-ah?” I looked over at him nervously but he just simply rose an eyebrow at me, with a grunt of acknowledgement, I took a breath and continued, “W-why does Taemin have a hickey on his neck?”

His eyes flicked to meet mine for a moment, they were wide with surprise but he quickly turned his focus back to the road. I watched him, looking for any sign of an answer but received none, so I asked another question.

“Why is Taemin angry with you?” He let out a sigh, before speaking quietly.
“I did.”

It took me a moment, before I pieced together what he said to me, “Wait…. You gave him the hickey?!” I filled with fury and leaned over, smacking him in the head as he tried to dodge my attacks but was deemed impossible whilst driving.

“Jonghyun-ah! What is wrong with you? He is only a baby!” I yelled, shoving and pushing him.
“Stop! Stop! I’m trying to drive.” He swats me away and I sit back on my side of the car, livid. How could he have done this? Was that way Taemin was in tears this morning? Was this hickey given by force? My eyes widen for a moment and settle on the scowl on his face. He wouldn’t- It was a small hint of doubt but I couldn’t help but ask anyway.

“You didn’t do it by…force right?“ The question slipped out and I immediately regretted it. He pulled over in a quick, fluid movement and slammed on the brakes.
“Force? Are you ing kidding Kibum?” He looked at me, full of hurt at my accusation.
“I-I’m just asking. I’m trying to cover all basis. He wouldn’t tell me so-“ I stammered out my words, knowing that deep in my heart he couldn’t have done it without consent, but I really couldn’t imagine Taemin doing those things willingly.

“He isn’t as innocent as you think.” He scowled, resting his head on the steering wheel, “He was willing.“ He closed his eyes and the air between us became thick and heavy, I leant forward and cautiously touched his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I know you wouldn’t I don’t know why I said it.” I frown, gently caressing his shoulder.
“I don’t know what went wrong. It was-“ He tilted his head, glancing at me with a confused expression, “He just fled and texted me, saying to never speak of it. After that time he had become so cold and distant with me.”

There was something digging at my insides, begging me to ask the question; “Did you guys….? I didn’t even know Taemin was gay, or you…” My voice trailed off at the end, confused by this realisation and shaking my head in disbelief.
“I don’t think he is gay, perhaps just curious. Well, I’m up for anything and I just wanted to have some fun.” He confessed, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink, “We didn’t get that far. We just-“ He trailed off, obviously not wanting to go on, “I want to apologise to him. But I can’t go within ten feet of him without him freaking out and running off.”

I nod, my mind swirling with thoughts but I couldn’t voice them, not now despite my nosy nature, but I knew one thing for sure.

“You need to talk this out with him, and I will try to help.” My mind became set with a goal, and I knew that if it was settled between those two, it would be peaceful once again.
“Thank you, if I could take it back, I really would.” His words sounded sincere, but his eyes said otherwise, I knew that his statement was only half-assed. I nodded regardless, as he started the car back up, sinking into the pleather seats and staring out the window.

It was a long drive back to his home, but I barely noticed, I kept my eyes on the trees and houses flying past like I was in some cliché movie, just listening the soft static of his radio. It was comfortable and I didn’t even realise we were back in the town until stopped the car.

“We are here Bummie.” I looked up at him and gave a small, warm smile before climbing out and stepping onto the soft grass. My dress was still held tightly in my hands as I shuffled towards the front door. He locked the car and jogged up to walk beside me and adding a small, cheeky side note that his parents weren’t home.

“Yah! .” I chuckled light-heartedly, feeling better than I had done since Taemin had left me. He opened the door and gestured me to step in, to which I bowed my head gently in thanks before glancing eagerly around the room. With a moment of realisation, I noticed that I had never been to Jonghyuns’ house before. It had always been me and Taemins’ we stayed at, but this house was so clean and neat, I could hardly see why we hadn’t come here before.

“My room is just up the stairs.” His cheeks turned a cute shade of red to which I laughed at, jabbing at his chest with my pointer before scaling the stairs to his room. As I stepped in, it came to my astonishment how clean his room actually was. There wasn’t much decoration at all, just a double bed, a set of drawers and a mirror in the corner.

“Is it strange that I expected it to be sleezy? Full of and condoms littering the floor?” I shook my head with a smile to which he swatted me on the arm.
“I’m not an animal, aish-“ He scowled, shoving me gently.
“With the amount of women you sleep with, I can only assume.” I pursed my lips.
“You know, I’m not as bad as you think. I have never…” He coughed, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.
“Wait, what? But the girls….” My eyes widened in shock at the news.
“All rumors, none of which are true. I fool around, I never put it in them.” He chuckled, “Taemin was…probably one of the ones I actually considered it with.” His laughter died out and silence filled the room.
“I’m sorry Jong, I’ll fix this, I promise you. “ I nodded, full of determination as his child-like features lit up.
“I’m gonna go make some tea, do you want some?” He asked, his cute nature returning.
“Sure thing.” He bounded happily from the room and I pulled out my phone quickly. Swiping to my favourites, I clicked Taemins’ bubbly icon and after a few rings it went silent with a small acknowledgment from the other end of the phone.

“Hello?”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Im sorry TT.TT I had to break it up, it was massive!! But a part three should reach you all shortly. Thank you so much for your patience and care~ bai bai for now <3 Any questions or concerns, as always, feel free to message me~