After explaining the fashion to Taemin, he gracefully sat there and listened as I spent at least an hour gushing and showing him pictures along with videos. He nodded along, asking me certain questions but never once brought up the fact I was a male. Although I knew it was a question on the tip of his tongue, I was so nervous as I didn’t know the answer myself. It was so complicated, I- I just knew this was right for me. I had always loved feminine things, and these dresses were just like a topping to a beautiful cake.

“Do you have a dress yet?” He asked, and my eyes met him, worried to find mocking or judgement but I only found kidness, and my heart filled up with overwhelming happiness at his understanding.
“I-I don’t.” My lips pulled down into a slight frown and I sighed, “I’m not quite sure how to order it.” I rubbed the back of my neck.
“I see… Well, do you have a favourite?” He pulled my laptop a little closer, his eyes darting over the screen. I leant over and pulled up ‘Dream Marine.”
“Wow, that is pretty Bummie, do you mind if I see some others? “He nibbled on his bottom lip, wide eyes meeting mine and my heart sped up a little. Unconsciously, He slipped his hand into mine, something he had done since Middle school for comfort. His thumb began to rub circles on my palm, and he hummed gently as he leaned back against my chest. As my cheeks flushed a soft pink, I could feel my heart beating in my ears. Why am I getting this reaction? He is just a friend. But even I couldn’t stop the clamminess from my hands as I felt his body heat against my chest. It was such a relief when he spoke, and the picture he had brought up had pulled my mind off the boy and to the dress he had found.

“I like this one~ It’s called…Milky Planet. Such a strange name.” He chuckled, his fingers dancing delicately over the keys, loading up a series of perfectly sweet prints.
“I like the navy colour way, is that weird? I think the pastel colors suit the dark fabric.” He shrugs, looking over at me.
“Mm… I’m more fond of the yellow, but I don’t think I would suit it.” Letting out a soft laugh, I pat his seemingly smooth hair.
“I think this is who you are Bummie.” He nods happily, eyes meeting mine and I freeze, that crazy feeling in the pit of my stomach jumping up. Suddenly, Taemins’ eyes widen as there is a loud bang on the door. He shoots up, slamming my laptop closed and he pulls away from me. Snatching up his bag, the door flies open and his eyes meet my fathers’, whose gaze snaps from his to mine. I feel a cold chill and all the colour from my face drains.

“What are you boys up to?” While the question seemed innocent, it was laced with cold-hearted judgement.
“Just studying Mr. K.” Taemin spoke quietly, respectful as he gives a considerate bow.
“I see…. What subject?” This felt more like an investigation, like I must have been doing something forbidden, like he couldn’t believe we were just studying (Which we weren’t but he would never find that out).
“Math. Kibum was tutoring me for math.” Taemin quickly answered to which I just responded with a nod.
“Shouldn’t you be heading home Taemin?” My father questioned, his voice gruff and strong as he all but told Taemin to get out.
“Sure Mr. K, I’ll um…see you tomorrow Hyung.” His formalities were back in place, and instead of the usual snuggles and whines that he would have to go, he kept it brief and with a short nod of his head, he disappeared.

The air stayed still and thick between us as my eyes grazed over his appearance. His hair was greying around the edges, his face tired and wrinkled, and whilst he didn’t see it himself, his eyes were dead. The love and life that was once there, was now drained and empty.

“Please tell me that was all you were doing Kibum.” His voice was quiet, yet poisonous. My dad had never been intimidating, he used to be carefree until he had remarried a few years ago. Then it’s like he become a mindless puppet, nodding at whatever she said and doing as he was told. It hurt to see the man I once looked up to, the man that had always accepted me had now forced me to recognise the demon of the household, as Mother. I knew who my real mother was and the monster that ruled downstairs was fair from it.
“Yes father.” I nodded, my eyes darting around, not meeting his. He came into my room and I carefully watched his movements as his hands grazed over each ‘feminine’ object in my room. It stopped on my soft pink laptop case, which was only for home and he sighed once again. Defeated, he turned around and spoke like he was carrying the weight of a heavy burden.

A couple of days had passed, and I had become excited for my quickly approaching birthday. I decided to save everything I earned from working at the café downtown, and finally buy myself a dress. The only thing I was sad about is not that I would only have to pay for the shipping, it would be having to wait, some girls said it took almost two months! I would go in person but living in South Korea was most definitely a downfall of falling in love with this fashion, as their main store was in Tokyo and smaller ones were dotted throughout Japan.

I had just finished English and was making my way to the courtyard for lunch when I was barrelled into by a familiar blonde headed boy.

“Bummie- You. Will. Not-“ He was panting heavily, like he had run a mile with his flushed cheeks.
“Calm down Tae, catch your breath then talk.” Although my suggestion had seemed reasonable, he seemed very determined to get out what he wanted to say.
“I found a shop.” I frowned, wondering what exactly he was talking about.
“Come on Tae, let’s get out of this hallway.” I scowled as someone slammed into me, knocking my bag, causing me to stumble. Taking his hand carefully, I pull him along. Despite the stares and mutters at our locked hands, I held on tight and stopped when we reached the open field. Tugging him to follow, I sat down under the tree, shading us from the bring light of the summer sun. Pulling my water bottle out, I passed it to the still panting boy, who nodded in thanks and took a long sip.

“So, now tell me what’s going on?” I chuckle softly, only to be interrupted as Jonghyun stumbles over to us, a girl by his side.
“Hey guys, this is Sulli.” He grins, ruffling her long dark hair, “She is new to the cheerleading squad so I offered to show her around.” A smirk graced his lips, hinting at the fact he wanted to do more than just show her around, causing me, and from the look of Taemin, quite uncomfortable.
“Nice to meet you.” She hummed softly, and even with her few words, I could tell she was quite charming. Her height complimented him quite well and she had an innocence about her that really made her stand out, especially with the bangs that framed her face and her seemingly tiny frame which was hiding under Jonghyuns’ football jersey.
“Hello Sulli.” I spoke formally, bowing my head a little and almost shivered at the cold look Taemin was giving her, and I wondered why that was.
“We were in the middle of something if you don’t mind.” Taemin spoke firmly, pulling out his phone with a swift motion and started flicking at the screen.

Jonghyun looked a little -hurt but he brushed it off, giving me a look of confusion. I shrugged a little and gestured to the girl. Like he suddenly remembered her existence, he chucked a casual arm around her, giving her a playful squeeze.

“Better continue our tour, hmm? “ He grinned, and she nodded with enthusiasm, shyly leading him along. I watched them playfully tease and shove each other as they walked towards the bleachers, before directing my attention to the seemingly cranky Taemin.
“What’s wrong?” I watch the boy infront of me frown, still staring at his phone. I push the phone gently down, my voice slightly softer as I ask again.
“Nothing! Ok?” He crankily responds, huffing with annoyance. Shoving the electrical device into his backpack, he angrily stood up, only for me to do the same.
“Hey! Talk to me. Don’t lock me out.” I pulled him around to face me, my voice pleading as I see the hurt in his eyes.
“I-“ His voice becomes stuck in his throat, not quite knowing what to say as his lip quivers and he jumps forward, Taemins’ arms winding around my neck. I rub gentle circles on his back, not expecting any kind of response as I reassure him carefully. I wonder if someone has upset him in class? But he seemed ok when he ran up to me. Maybe Jonghyun upset him? He can be quite an insensitive jerk sometimes… bet you that was it. I waited until he was ready to speak, and I could tell his sad excuse was clearly a lie but I wouldn’t force it out of him. I comforted my junior, waiting until he was alright before asking him;
“So, what were you talking about Tae? Shop?” I asked, still gently rubbing his back, i could tell by his small smile that he was grateful for the attention to be off him, and the subject to be changed.
“Oh! M-my friend was looking at a list of new shops opening up nearby and there was one that caught my eye. It’s called A Modern Take, they sell Victorian-era inspired clothes.” He nodded quickly, “And I had a quick google and it mentions, ‘lolita.’ They are opening in Incheon, which is only an hour from here by bus!” He nods excitedly, and my eyes light up. I suddenly become so excited, I can’t seem to stop the smile break out on my face as I all but tackle him.
“That sounds perfect! I really want to go, I would see them all in person and- that just seems perfect…” I sigh happily, imagining what kind of beauties they would have in store.
“We should go, on the weekend. And as your birthday is soon, It makes it that much more awesome.” He grins, a silly, childish one of excitement for me.
“This sounds wonderful, you really are amazing!” I gush, ruffling his blond hair.
“It’s nothing Hyung, anything to make you smile.” 

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A/N: Wah! Im sorry it took so long for me to update, I just finished uni so now I will finally have free time to write :3 I hope y'all like it, and thanks to all those lovely people who subscribe and comment, you don't know how grateful i am, and talking to you guys give me ideas. Like now I know that JongTae is a bad shipping idea haha xD And as someone knew what I was talking about when I said AP (aletheiachan ^^ ) I decided to include one of her favourite prints! I agree, Milky planet is a gorgeous print, what's your favourite colourway? Thanks for reading, and until next time, stay well!