The lesson itself was just a blur of numbers and boring explanations, I was never really one to enjoy math at all. Instead, I began to draw small sketches of anime girls in bell shaped skirts, small bunnies and bows, like the variety of photos I had seen the night. With a lovely cursive font, I wrote ‘Lolita’ and created a love heart border, making me smile stupidly at my book. Pathetic, maybe, but something as small as sketches of the dresses made me happy, excited even. It wasn’t long before the bell rang for study hall, and as a senior I was glad that study hall really meant that I got a free period. Closing my book swiftly, I stood up, swinging my bag over my shoulder and leaving the room quickly, pushing past other students with determination, my mind off elsewhere, hoping that I would be able to grab a computer to continue researching the fashion. Loud footsteps were heard behind me, before I was crashed into by a particularly short, yet strong boy.

“Kibummie, you weren’t going without me were you?” Jonghyun announced, his bottom lip jutting out as he clung to my arm. Forgot about him, whoops.
“Of course not, I was- um…” My words trailed off as he didn’t really care for an excuse, giving me the cutest puppy dog look as he rubbed his cheek against my shoulder. Despite the hideous stares we were receiving from a group of jealous girls nearby, Jonghyun didn’t stop the skinship, gently nudging my cheek with his nose before straightening himself, leaving me yet again with a soft blush.
“Hey! You really seemed to know what you were doing in that class~ can I copy off your notes? I was so lost.” He exclaimed, scratching the back of his neck with a sheepish laugh.
“I uh- didn’t take notes.” I replied quickly, stepping out into the warm sun and heading to the library instead of the hall, deciding it might be quieter there, somewhere I wouldn’t be disturbed.
“Then what were you doing? You seemed to be writing so quickly.” The brunette boy exclaimed, reaching for the book I held tightly in my hands. Taking a step away, he frowned a little and reached for it again, this time taking the corner of the book.
“Really, it’s nothing.” I desperately pulled away, causing me to stumble, dropping my book, loose paper flying everywhere as it fell open. Scrambling to my knees, I scooped it all together as Jonghyun dropped to the ground as well, helping me pick up the papers. My hands froze as his own index finger traced over what I had been trying to hide from him.
“Kibum, is this what you were hiding?” He looked up, his playful attitude gone, now replaced with a gentle voice and soft eyes. My cheeks heated and I felt like crying, I didn’t want him to know. This was going to be my secret, what if he thought I was weird? As if on a defensive instinct, I drew back, my mouth pressed into a firm line as I snatched the book away, slamming it shut. Standing quickly, I turned to keep walking, not wanting him to keep pressing the issue. Not quite getting the hint, he followed behind quietly, deep in thought before speaking softly.
“Bummie, um… the Lolita you had written in your book, is that in reference to the movie? Did you recently watch it or something…?” He asked, trying to make sense of what he just saw. Grabbing my arm, he turned me around so I faced him. I shook my head quickly, though I was silently grateful that he didn’t just walk off.

He had always been really close to me, just like Taemin, he knew that I preferred feminine things, he thought it was cute and being such an open minded kid, he didn’t mind one bit. He would stand up for me when I was teased, helping me feel more accepted. He was like a strong, silent shadow, following and protecting, making sure no one hurt me.

“I’m one of your best friends, I have never judged you or your personal tastes. I just want to understand. Although in class I couldn’t see you properly, I knew you were smiling. It was…wonderful to see. I hadn’t seen you happy in a while, and I am just trying to make sense of it all.” He nodded a little, tilting his head to the side in a silent plea for answers. Reluctantly, I nodded, terrified of what he may think when I explain, and that’s when I decided it might be better with imagery. With a soft sigh, I linked my fingers with his and pulled him along beside me. His face lit up, following happily while I contemplated how I would start explaining it to him. I could just come straight out with it, perhaps be slow and lower him into it. It was a difficult thing to get the concept of, and I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. Stepping into the library, I had a quick glance around, happy no one was in sight as I dragged him to a computer. Whilst I took a seat and logged in, he pulled a desk chair over to sit by quietly, watching with interest. Bringing up the browser, my hands shook a little, palms becoming sweaty. Why is this so hard? I know he wont judge…. Nibbling my bottom lip nervously, I typed ‘Lolita Fashion’ into the google search bar. He leaned forward as I clicked on the ‘images’ bar, my eyes flicking to watch his scour the screen.

“What is this kibum? Lolita fashion?” He murmured, his dark eyes meeting mine in expectance of an answer. Taking a deep breath, I began to explain in a simplistic version what it meant, “Lolita is a Japanese fashion, using colourful and bright prints to express themselves while keeping a modest sort of fashion, inspired by the Rococo era.” I nodded, “Well, the ‘sweet’ style of lolita I like includes things like bunnies and bears in their prints.” My finger traced over the screen, showing him the bottom of the dress where the pattern was full and busy, the colour of the dress a beautiful pastel pink and large bows decorating it.
“Does it have anything to do with the movie?” He frowned a little, but I wouldn’t scold him for his judgemental look at the child-like fashion, he didn’t know it wasn’t, he was just trying to make sense of the situation.
“No its not at all, a lot of people think that, but it’s just a western movie, most people in Japan haven’t heard of it before. It has nothing to do with Age-play either, or a of any sort, it’s just… beautiful. Expressive.” My eyes went back to the dress on the screen and my gaze softened slightly, my lips pulling up gently into a smile.

It was a while before he spoke, “So, do you just enjoy looking at it?”
“No,” I spoke firmly, sure of myself as I turned back to look at him, a surge of courage pushing the next sentence from my mouth, “I want to wear at it.”

He looked confused at a moment, “Cross-dress?” He seemed shocked, but tried to restrain his surprise.
“Yes, a lot of males do in this fashion too.” I nodded but he seemed a little unsure, sceptical.
“Kibum-“ He started and by the look in his eyes I knew he was going to tell me it was a stupid idea.
“No Jonghyun. Please let me do this.”

* * *
(Jonghyuns’ POV)

But he is a boy, a gorgeous one at that. So fragile and low in confidence, his self-esteem is almost shattered and he is so shy, how is he going to manage? All that criticism? The call-outs and judgement? I believe in him, but…this is so different. How could he be so sure? Cross-dressing in womens’ fashion isn’t widely recognised, some still frown upon it and with something so frilly, how could he blend in? Plus, if his parents found out, they would explode. These thoughts pounded through Jonghyuns’ head.
“Kibum-“ The smaller boy started, only to speak of the concerns he had.
“No Jonghyun, let me do this.” The forceful way the boy spoke, it honestly surprised him, he had never heard him be so sure of himself. Jonghyun nodded a little, his eyes meeting his friends’ cat-like ones that stared back at him, the hazel almost piercing, but underneath all that, he knew Kibum was just as scared. This was a big step, something that he had never tried before and he was terrified. Sitting up a little straighter, He knew what he had to do.

“Do you have a dress you really like?” Jonghyuns’ voice was quiet, almost a whisper, scared his friend may think that he was making fun of him but was delightfully surprised as Kibums’ skinny arms wrapped around his neck.
“T-thank you.” Was all he said, his body still trembling under Jonghyuns warm touch, and with a smile, he began tracing small circles on the taller boys’ back.
“Of course.” He let his eyes drift closed for a moment, taking everything in, the smell of Kibums’ hair as it rubbed against his cheek, the feeling of the boys’ slender body against his broad chest before it was ripped away in an instant. The boys’ smile made Jongs’ heart warm as he pulled away, the other scrolling through the website in order to show him the dress he wished for most. Clicking on a deep blue sailor-like dress, covered in pastel pinks, he grinned.

“Dream….Marine? Creative name.” Jonghyun chuckled, watching as the younger boy pouted, smacking his arm gently.
“Yah! It’s so beautiful.” He gushed, sighing contently as he observed the lit screen.
“Yeah, it is.” Jonghyun responded, not quite focusing on the dress, his smile small as he continued to watch his best friend.

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A/N: I hope you liked this chapter. Lots of Jongkey, i really wanted to show the loving relationshop they share <3 Also, in case you were curious, here is a picture of dream marine by Angelic Pretty, it is gorgeous ^^ Kibummies dream dress :3 And if you could please comment and subscribe, it would be wonderful. It lets me know that you enjoy reading it, and I will update faster~ <3 :3

Beautiful, beautiful skinship below of Jongkey~