Dear diary,

I think there is really something wrong with me, i swear, i dont know what it is, but i am scared, lately my heart keep beating faster aight i dont even know what happened, it suddenly just beats faster especially when taehyung hyung is near idk why, is he somekind of the angel of death or smth? to be honest i am scared, i havent even debut yet, i dont wanna die (even though just yesterday i said i wanna die, it wasnt serious okay?)

So since today is a free day, i called my mom after having breakfast and talking with the hyungs about not necessary stuff (we avoid talking about practice or debut because we dont want to be stressed out in our first freeday okay) we talk for like 2 hours, thats the longest i ever talk with someone on the phone and my ear is burning up until now

I told her about the life in the dorm, and i told her about taehyung hyung too of course, she is just listening to all of my story, its a good thing that i lock myself in the bedroom so i could talk to her freely, i told her about hoseok hyung too, well i literally told her about everything until the last thing that i told her was about my heart, i was anticipacing her worried question or even a cry? but instead she laughs! LAUGHS! my own mother is laughing when her son is about to be dead, what the mom- but yeah i ask her why she laugh but she didnt said anything

After done calling with my mom i get out from the bedroom, i see yoongi hyung talking with someo