Your POV

You lied down on your bed, waiting for his reply. You had been chatting with him throughout the whole day on Instagram and you were already fluttered that he shared a selca for you. You rolled your body to face the ceiling. Being friends with Kwon Jiyong… Who would have thought? You stared at the Heartbreaker poster in your room; the only poster you have so far. As you lose yourself to the poster, your phone buzzed. You immediately took it and looked at his reply.

To you, is happiness essential?

Happiness is essential. It allows you to forget your sorrow. Happiness and joy will also bring some positivity in your life.

I see…

Why did you ask me that?

No reason. It's just a question which pops up in my head.

You like to randomly ask questions?

Sometimes. Drop me a question.

You rolled your body to your stomach as you think of a question. As soon as you thought of a question, you immediately ask him.

Hope is deceiving. Agree or disagree? And why.

I agree. Because if we rely on hope too much and didn't get what we hoped for, we will be depressed. That's why it's deceiving.

You nodded and replied with an "I see" when you heard a knocking outside your window. You sat on your bed and looked at whoever it was. Ilhoon's face popped up across the glass window. You breathed out a sigh and walked to the window in order to unlock it and let your sickening best friend in. He entered and took off his jacket before sitting on a bean bag chair.

     "What brings you here tonight?" you asked and went to the mini refrigerator to get some drinks from him.

Both of your parents don't know that you two sometimes sneak out to meet each other. Well, plus point, you two stayed near each other. Minus point, it requires a lot of ninja skills. And normally, this only happens when either of you are having problems or are bored. For Ilhoon to get to your room, it will require him to climb a tree near your room. And it's always Ilhoon coming over. Occasionally, you will go to his room and climb up but lately, it's always him coming over be it he wants to or you asked him.  You took two packs of black soya bean drink and tossed him one before sitting on your bed. You took your phone and check Jiyong's reply.

My turn. Forget everything or not remembering anything new?

You took the straw and poke it into the pack, waiting for Ilhoon's explanation while thinking of a reply for Jiyong.

        "Nah, my parents are fighting again and I'm in need of some peace," he answered.

You raised your eyebrows and looked at him while sipping your drink, "Your parents? What happened?" You put your drink aside and replied Jiyong.

Neither. Remember what you have now and use it for future endeavors. Learn from your mistakes and be flawless.

        "Remember what I told you about my dad cheating my mum? Mum found a lipstick stain on his collar while doing laundry and they argued. I couldn't take it anymore and decide to come here," he answered.

       "How do you live in such atmosphere?" you asked and put your phone aside.

       "I don't know. I just want to run away sometimes. And this is the only place I can think of," he answered and looked at you.

You were taken aback by his answer. Why here?

       "Why here?" you spoke your mind.

       "Because your provide me peace and tranquility," he answered.

How?

        "How?" you frowned and looked at him. Legit, how?

Your phone buzzed to notify you that Jiyong had replied you. You pulled down the notification bar and read what he has to say.

But what if forgetting everything allows to have the new reborn? What if not remembering anything new exerts peace in you?

Great. Why do I have the feeling I have to counsel him?

       "Because you are calming and each time I go to you, I feel at peace and at ease. Because I know that you will be there for me," he answered. You swore you saw him staring right at you.

You in all the air in the room and locked your phone. Jiyong can wait.

       "I am your best friend after all," you told him and smiled.

He heaved out a sigh and looked at the pack of black soya bean. "Friends will always be there for each other," he said in a loud whisper.

     "That's why it's called friendship. A ship where all your closest mates who are not blood-related gathered on and create a bond," you told him.

     "Friendship…" he lifted his head. "Do you treasure your friendship with me?"

     "Of course. If I don't, I wouldn't have let you in," you told him.

He laughed and thanked you while you took your phone to reply Jiyong. You giggled in return. Damn, multi-tasking at its best. Don't forget to mention mentally.

It brings peace to the naïve. Going into something fresh means you don't know what to expect or how to react. And that means in event of a messed up, the pain will be the highest, as it will be the "first time". And in event that it has a good ending, one would believe everytime one tries, it would bring the same result, which is again, naïve.

     "Have you done the homework given by Prof. Pereirra?" Ilhoon asked.

     "I'm 60% done," you answered him, eyes on your phone, waiting for Jiyong's reply.

Your phone vibrated in your hands and you read what he replied.

"First time", you said it, the pain will be the highest. And how do you know if one has the ability to not mess up a situation? Everyone is ed up. And how can good ending come about results to naivety? Just by believing?

YOU'VE BEEN IN MORE THAN ME!!! HOW CAN YOU BE SO…?! - you mentally screamed at Jiyong.

     "So, you had done 6 questions already?" Ilhoon asked.

     "Yups," you answered, hiding the sigh behind the word. Well, you needed to hide a sigh from Ilhoon.

     "When are you finishing the other 4?" he asked.

     "Not tonight, obviously," you answered and type a reply to Jiyong. "Probably tomorrow."

What you have to realize is that no matter if the end result is good or bad. For a first time, it will bring undesirable consequences if the person decides to believe in what happened. If I were to give you an example, take driving. If for instance you take this sharp turn not knowing anything about it beforehand, you don't make it. You feel the pain of repairing and damaging your car for the first time. But if you do make it, you might think you can make the turn from that point onwards, which is being presumptuous. And that is frankly stupid too. The point is to try again and again before you know for certain something will work. In this case, "practice makes perfect" comes into play, though whatever the case, it is hardly perfect.

Damn, I could pass for a counsellor.

     "Anyways, I'm going to leave. I don't want my mum to nag," Ilhoon stood up.

     "Sure," you looked at Ilhoon. "Take care of yourself."

     "Sure thing," he smiled. "It's Saturday tomorrow. You want to hang out?"

     "It's stay home Saturday for me. My parents are going out on a date tomorrow," you told him.

     "Want me to come over?" he offered.

     "Negotiate," you grinned and your phone buzzed in your hands. You ignored the buzzing and wait for Ilhoon's reply.

     "I will bring some street food over," he smiled and tilted his head.

     "And that includes…" you answered him.

     "I know… I know… I will get out of this luxurious estate just to get some street food for us," he cut you off.

You giggled and nodded, "Deal then. See you tomorrow." He smiled and nodded before wishing you good night and climbed out of your window. You wished him good night and watched him go back to his house. Once he's safely back at his house, you closed the window and plopped on the bed to read Jiyong's reply.

Practice makes perfect? Does it happens in all aspects of life? Is it the same thing as chasing something which is not worth chasing but you keep chasing anyway? Practice by chasing, I assume? 

Damn, he sounds like a .

Yes, it does.

You took your black soya bean drink and sip it from the straw and waited for his reply.

But what's the point of practicing if you know you're going to lose?

AAAWWWOOOO… THIS DRAGON.

Then, it's all about mentality. If you think that you will lose, you will lose. If you think you will win, you will win. You have to change your mentality. Losing is part of life, not a habit. Everyone have a time when they are actually a loser but that doesn't mean you are an all-time loser. You may a loser at a certain thing but at the same time, you're a winner at something else. Everyone have their pros and cons. And for this case, their winner and loser side.

Yes, everyone has a winner and loser side. But in the eyes of society, the instant they see your loser side, you will get condemned and your winner side will be vanished.

That's when you have to rebuild your winner side - make it strong and sturdy. And with your winner side, use it as your identity. Build it in a way where people will remember you for your winner side only, something which they look up upon.

But at the end of the day, you're just a loser. A coward who acts like a gangster in order to be pictured as strong.

Picturing yourself like that is already enough to bring down your self-esteem. If you are picturing yourself like that, you should ask yourself what type of a loser are you? There are many variations of a loser. A loser in friendship? A loser in protecting himself? A loser who lives in his past? A loser who cannot accept the truth? A loser who drifted apart from where he came from? There are many variations of a loser, find which is yours and fix it. Everyone is a loser somewhere. The question is, will you be able to help your loser self out?

So, you're a thinker and feelings?

Wait… WHAT?!!

What do you mean?

Your answers. They are more on feelings. At the same, thinker. You're in between.

I see… You were just trying to see how my brain operates…

Yup, it was a great time talking to you. Your play with words is quite good too.

I see… Thanks…?

No problem. Go and rest now, it's quite late.

Sure, chat you with you tomorrow then. Night night.

Good night.

You placed your phone aside to charge and looked at the ceiling. How is it possible to talk to G-Dragon like this? And why is it more fun to talk to G-Dragon than Ilhoon? It's confusing. Even you don't understand. But what you know, it is more fun to chat with Jiyong. 

Hello!! Sorry for the really really long MIA... >.<" I was down to help out my school. And I couldn't squeeze time to write this fanfic. So, now, HOLIDAYS had started for me~~~!!! My holidays is until July, so you know what that means?? *smirk smirk* I can update more now~  Heheheheheh!! Anyways, hope you like the chapter. I wrote it yesterday and decide to post it today... 

To say the truth, the conversation between Hana and Jiyong, it's based on true story. Just the words, and it got me slightly emotional while writing it. Not all, until before the winner and loser part. It was during when I'm facing one of the biggest downfall in my life. I'm thinking of placing some based on true events here and there in this story, provided if it goes with the flow of the story itself. But if I insert some true events, I will definitely tell you all. It's a bit hard for me to write stories based on true events but if it helps me to be a better person and you all can enjoy, I will. :)

Look forward for the upcoming chapters~~~