Do not make inappropriate jokes or make anyone uncomfortable. Do not swear, there are children present Taeyang! And do not, for the love of God, mention the time you walked in on Jiyong and I.

I stopped reading after that. The writing was scrawled in Dara’s usual square-ish font, a jumble of words that filled the page full of commands I was meant to consider when writing what would probably be the test best man speech ever penned. It wasn’t because I couldn’t deliver a speech, no, but because the idea of standing up at the reception and saying that I thought Jiyong and Dara were the perfect couple made the contents rise in my stomach. So instead I tossed the paper aside and lean backward on the couch staring at the stark white plaster ceiling of my living room.

Six days left. Six days until I would be forced to put on a penguin suit and remember to keep the rings on me at all times, the very ones that would rip Dara away from me forever. But really, she was never truly “with me” to begin with. At least not in the way I wished it to be every night in the uncontrollable and utterly delirious world of my dreams. It was the very reason I hadn’t slept properly for the last month, not wishing to go through the pain of waking up to a reality that would never compare to my own imagination.Life like that.

My phone buzzed, the trilling sound bringing me out of my self-pitying internal monologue. I reached for it, shimmying it out of the confines of my back pocket. I set aside my bottle of beer and groaned as I read the contact ID.

Dara.

I opened the message, purposely ignoring the sinking feeling of dread as I read her words. I’d been avoiding her for this very reason.

Have you written the speech yet? Jiyong said you were procrastinating. Let me know okay?

I sighed heavily, typing out a vague and quick response before I fully processed my own words, fingers flying across the touch screen. I couldn’t be bothered attempting to placate her, that was her fiancee’s job,I thought bitterly. However no matter how bitter and frustrated I felt I couldn’t help but retrieve the pen and paper and begin to write.

If it was a best man’s speech she wanted, I’d give the most ing memorable best man speech ever given.

The ballroom was over packed with family, friends and notable people. I could crane my head in any given direction and spot at least three people I’d seen before on a red carpet. I wasn’t sure if this was due to the happy couple or just because they didn't want to miss the “wedding of the year”. Either way I didn’t really give a . The more, the merrier, I contemplated, hiding a twisted smile behind a sip of the ridiculously over-priced champagne. 

The ceremony had gone off without a hitch. I gave the ring over at the right time, managed not to throw up all over the tails of Jiyong’s suit and adorned a half-painful grin as I tried to look anywhere but what felt like the slow car-crash being enacted right in front of me. The only thing that stopped me going all ‘Speak Now’ was the papers in my pocket, the speech I was set to give.

I knew hell would break loose when I spoke. But that was what weddings were for right? Everyone was just bursting for something to up, and I all too happy to oblige. So I sat patiently through the reception, ate my designated meal and even danced with Jiyong’s sister– all the while imagining it was another woman in my arms.

The day lagged on, so much so I almost cheered aloud when the familiar clinking of silverware against the champagne flutes sounded. Dara laughed cheerily, leaning onto Jiyong as she’d been doing for most of the day. It was the first time I properly allowed myself to look at the bride and I felt the breath catch in my throat as I did so. She looked radiant.

I’d known Dara for almost eighteen years now, but I’d never quite seen her look as bright as she did in that moment, adorned in a modest but stylish white gown. Her eyes were framed with quite natural earthy shades and her lips were tinted with a peach color. She looked stunning. I was far too absorbed in my inspection of Dara that I didn’t notice Jiyong rise from beside her until he spoke.

“Now I know this isn’t how the process works, but Dara and I thought