He forgot it the moment Hongbin came back home, still on the phone, giggling stupidly. Jaehwan wanted to find it ridiculous, but seeing his friend's face, lit up with genuine happiness, lips cracking into a wide smile, dimples showing, he couldn't find him other than beautiful. He forgot it because at that moment, Hongbin was all that could be in his mind, Hongbin radiating not with love, but something close to, that made him thrive like a blossoming flower when Jaehwan felt like a clover in the shadow, mixed with the crowd, sentence to none other thing than watch the beautiful thing that was Hongbin, without getting to reach it any day soon. 

 

It didn't occur him, at that time, that he was someone's object of affection, too busy he was admiring something he could not have, shaming himself for not feeling worth it.

 

Lying on his bed in the middle of the day, not feeling like doing anything, he listens to the silence surrounding him and sings to himself. Hongbin is out again, probably hanging out with Sanghyuk ; he tries not to think about it. It's the first time that he does so little during his two weeks break. In the bedroom in front, his neighbor is playing something ; he wishes he could hear his music. For the past week, the neighbor has been all that he could think about aside from Hongbin and his fetus boyfriend. Jaehwan doesn't know if it's on purpose, but he often wanders around in his chamber shirtless, listening to music and scribbling down quick notes once in a while. 

 

Jaehwan likes to watch him. With his toned abs and blonde hair, he looks like an actor ; far from Hongbin's cute pouty face, who looks like an idol with his pink hair. He also likes to wonder if the neighbor watches him whenever he turns his back, or lower his head to face the floor. He starts to dress up even if it's to nap all day, chooses his pajamas so that they would fit him well. It's silly, but at least it takes his mind out of thoughts of Hongbin holding his bouquet of freesias, talking with the redhead highschooler.

 

He tosses around in bed, rolling until falling off. He hopes the neighbor is watching him, in his tank top and yoga pants, even if he's not as confident as the other seems to be about his body. He finds himself a little bit too squishy for his liking. He fills a tiny watering can Hongbin gifted him as a Christmas present ; at least, since he's staying everyday at home, he never forgets to water his plants. Amaryllis are blossoming near his window and that's when he recalls. What did his secret admirer look like again? 

 

"Tall and blonde. Hard to miss."

 

He looks at the neighbor with furrowed eyebrows. Could it be?

 

Wonshik lifts his gaze and the first thing he sees is the neighbor's in yoga pants. He has to shake his head a little, because, is it him or is the neighbor bending back facing the window on purpose? 

 

Part of him hopes that yes.

 

Maybe his whole being hopes that yes.

 

He watches him watering plants, diverting his gaze when the other bends a little to reach the amaryllis near the window. Charming neighbor -renamed Ken- then looks up to watch him, and Wonshik feels himself blushing, noticing his glare from the corner of his eyes. So maybe he had been walking around half- lately just in case this would happen.

 

When he turns his head to face the window, trying to focus again on what he was doing, Ken is back on his bed, doing silly things. He throws his feet in the air, trying to reach his toes with his fingers, he rolls on his bed frequently, and above all, he seems to spend his time singing, clapping the rythm with snaps. Wonshik would like to hear him. Maybe his voice is as sweet as his face, and Wonshik could record it some other time. 

 

He recalls the fact that he hasn't been offering him flowers for the past few weeks, too busy working on his music -he's still in search for lyrics, even if the composition is already finished, and the Neo couple is giving him a hard time. Later, he will offer him something not to forget about him. He would maybe even let another note. 

 

He resumes his work, and the second his head is bend over his guitar, Jaehwan turns to watch him again. 

 

 

Taekwoon opens the door to face someone he doesn't know. 

 

"Hello?"

He doesn't like to talk much but he's a bit forced to.

 

The blonde boy in front of him smiles. "Hello, I'm Wonshik and--"

 

"Wonshik! You're leaving flowers again! I wondered where you went all week!", Hakyeon beams, appearing behing Taekwoon.

 

Wonshik has to refrain a very unmanly squeal in the back of his head, seeing that Taekwoon dropped by again at Hakyeon's. He talked a bit with Hakyeon last time, in front of the door, acquainting him while Taekwoon was cooking in the back.

 

"Hey hyung."

 

"Taekwoon-ah, this is Wonshik, he lives in front ; he's the one offering flowers to the neighbor next door! Wonshik, this is Taekwoon, my best friend."

 

Taekwoon nods, extending his hand for Wonshik to shake. Wonshik wants to cringe at the hearing of the word "bestfriend" but it would be rude.

 

"It's nice to meet you, Taekwoon."

 

"So... Do you want to come in?", Hakyeon offers kindly, nearly dragging him in.

 

Wonshik smiles. "I don't mean to impose myself. Could you just leave those for the neighbor?"

 

"He asked for you last time.", the other informs, even if it isn't completely true. "Why don't you give him directly this time?"

 

"Well, my note is the lamest so far, so I'll be a bit self-conscious if I face him."

 

Hakyeon crosses his arms. "If I do it this time, it's the last!"

 

"That'd be so kind of you."

 

Wonshik grins in such a cute way, Hakyeon cannot refuse him anything.

 

"Give me that. You own me a drink though!"

 

"Let's have an iced latte some other day then, alright? I don't know anyone in town, I'm eager to get to acquaint my neighbors."

 

He leaves the flower pot to Hakyeon, before bidding the two olders goodbye ; just before going, he casts a last glance at Taekwoon, who is looking fondly at the back of Hakyeon's head. He wishes that they could date already. 

 

Hakyeon gives Jaehwan the flower pot right after seeing by the window Wonshik retrieving in his building.

 

"A flower pot again? I forgot... I thought he had let go off me a bit quickly though.", he chuckles, taking the gift out of the other's hand. "Do you have time for tea today?"

 

"A friend is over right now but let's do that next saturday! Hopefully your secret admirer will come by?"

 

Jaehwan blushes. "Yeah... I maybe have an idea about his identity, but I'm not... I'm not sure yet."

 

"I can't tell anything else, you'll have to figure out yourself... But I hope you two could meet next time!", Hakyeon beams.

 

"I hope so too."

 

"I'll be going then! Don't forget, next saturday! Come at mine!"

 

"See you later!"

 

Hakyeon goes back to his flat with a wide smile, as Jaehwan closes the door behind him to inspect his new flowers. This time, it's a cute pot of four-leafed clovers, blossoming in tiny white flowers. He reads the note, heart thumping a little quicker, a little louder than usual.

 

 

It's totally lame, of course, but deep down, Jaehwan is happy that someone thinks so much about him when his crush doesn't even bother staying with him during the holidays. 

 

He places the pot right on his nighstand, the VIP place.

 

Clover - "think of me"

 

On the highest hill of the city, everything can be seen ; despite the tiring walk under the sun, it's Hongbin's favourite place to sit and enjoy a day doing nothing. He takes Sanghyuk here, to eat watermelon and basically lie in the grass, kissing. The weather is nice, sun high in the sky and wind gently blowing above them. Everything is sweeter, brighter, more defined since Hongbin knows Sanghyuk. It may be for a week only, but it seems to be that they were bound to meet, as lovers or just even friends, because they aknowledge each other on a whole higher level of understanding, and everything seems so easy and mild when it comes to the younger, Hongbin forgets everything about his social struggles.

 

Maybe it's the way Sanghyuk listens to him talking, maybe it's the feeling of his fingers running through his hair, maybe it's his soothing voice or twinkling laugh. Hongbin doesn't know, and he doesn't need to know.

 

Hongbin looks at Sanghyuk, and everytime he does, he wonders about love. People read, write, watch, talk a lot about love, but Hongbin wonders if love really is picturable, in the way people seem to glow whenever they are near their significant other. Hongbin wonders how those people feel, because it seems to him so beautiful, so wonderful, like getting high simply by looking in someone's eyes. 

 

Hongbin wonders, even if he feels it, if he will ever be able to describe it, to talk about it.

 

Everytime he asked his mother about love, her face would lit up and her eyes would cloud dreamily. Her explications were vague, because she said that he couldn't know it before feeling it, but seeing the glint, the -dare he says it- love in her gaze whenever she would recall it, Hongbin thought that it would be wonderful. 

 

He wonders if love tastes like Sanghyuk's kisses, if it feels like the sun on his skin, the flutter in his heart. 

 

"What are you thinking about?", the younger asks after a while lying on the grass.

 

Hongbin grins. "You."

 

"Liar!", Sanghyuk chuckles, getting on his elbows to be face to face with him, still lying on his back to the opposite direction. He pecks him tenderly. "Tell me the truth."

 

"I was wondering if I loved you."

 

"You know I could be offensed by this sentence, right?"

 

Hongbin chuckles, resting his palms on the other's cheeks. "Chill out, son. We met last week, remember?"

 

"It feels like a month already."

 

"Well, we've been seeing each other everyday."

 

Sanghyuk grins, leaning in to kiss Hongbin softly. "So... Do you love me?"

 

"I don't know. I might. I really am clueless."

 

"Were you never in a relationship before?"

 

"Never. I, uh, never got the chance to."

 

"Awwww, my boyfriend is a !", Sanghyuk cooes, pecking him on the face.

 

"Aren't you?!"

 

"I am."

 

They both laugh at each other's silliness.

 

"When you will love me...", Hongbin traces the outlines of Sanghyuk's face, "Will you tell me?"

 

"Will you?"

 

"I asked you first."

 

"You did?"

 

"I'm going home, Hyuk."

 

Sanghyuk chuckles, kissing the older to prevent him from leaving. "I will. I promise I will."

 

Hongbin replaces a strand of hair behind his ear, looking in his sparkling eyes. It reminds him of his mother's.

 

Sanghyuk picks up flowers, placing it in his hair. Hongbin lets him. 

 

"Alyssum suits you well."

 

They kiss until the sun sets on the city.

 

Alyssum - grace, playfulness and wonder.

 

---

Updating on my smartphone is a real struggle, I tell you.