Im Yoona liked her life.

 

She enjoyed the major she chose. Liked her small circle of friends who stuck with her shy, lonely self. Loved the fact that on the way to the bus stop, there was a small heaven named Choi Bakery, where she could pick up her breakfast at times she's running out of time to make lunch boxes for herself. Felt blessed to have a coffee shop ran by the Kim household several blocks after the Choi Bakery, her supply of delicious caffeine whenever she needed to be more awake than ever.

 

Yoona lived a car-less life and she too liked having to take the bus to reach uni. Sometimes it's tiring, yes, especially if she pulled an all nighter the night before; or when she was on her way back after a long, packed day, and squeezing into the crowd of people was the last thing her tortured body wanted. But there were times Yoona smiled over the things she witnessed when she took the bus, too. Meeting a friendly mother with her newborn, cute, squishy baby. Eavesdropping a pair of seemingly bestfriend talking about a comical experience they had. Chatting with a halmoni with the spirit of youth at heart.

 

And Yoona never told this little fact to any living being yet, but even before the start of her college days, she found her world lighten up just a little bit brighter whenever she found a certain someone entering the bus she took.

 

 

 

The day had reached the night when Yoona finally got onto the bus for her way home. The bus wasn't packed, which was weird because it's usually full at such hour that people often were forced to stand. Given that it's also college entrance exam day, Yoona had thought that the bus would be bursting with passengers.

Instead, there was a vacant seat beside a female passenger who has already seated in the inner side. With tired steps, Yoona approached the vacant seat and, after a brief look at the surrounding to see if there was someone needing a seat more than her, she sat.

Her seatmate was wearing earphones, Yoona noted, from what she could see among the locks of black hair. So, while Yoona enjoyed a nice chat, she opted not to disturb her seatmate and leaned back quietly in her seat.

A stop later, a bunch of guys boarded the bus. The seats were full at this point, resulting them to stand. The guys walked, slowly reaching Yoona's row, and Yoona unconsciously crunched her nose at the smell of cigarettes the guys brought with them. They didn't smoke right now, but they sure reeked of the smell of smokers. In a brief second, one of them met Yoona's gaze, and Yoona quickly looked away.

Yoona shifted uncomfortably in her seat when they didn't go on, and instead stopped on her row. Low laughter and sneers, and Yoona swallowed down. Yoona was by no means weak, no, she could kimchi-slap a guy if she wanted to, but she had been feeling a little under the weather since morning. She barely saved herself from falling asleep during the entrance exam earlier, she definitely had no strength to confront anyone tonight.

"Hey."

Yoona looked sharply to her side, startled. The dark-haired girl, her seatmate, was staring at her with earphones removed from her ears. The girl smiled, unfazed by Yoona's jumpy motion, and said,

"Can we switch seat?"

Yoona wasn't sure what she was supposed to reply with, so she only muttered, "Huh?"

"I tend to feel dizzy when I sit near the window," her seatmate replied, unbothered by Yoona's confusion. "So can we switch seat?"

"Um," Yoona briefly glanced to the looming, reek-of-cigarette-smell guys on her other side, and swallowed. "Of course. Sure."

Her seatmate rose, and Yoona scooted to the inner side, near the window, and as she watched her seatmate's move through the reflection, Yoona noticed the glares coming from the guys. A beat later, though, her seatmate gave them a quick middle finger, and the guys scowled, shuffling away from the row without looking back.

Yoona looked away from the window and took a discreet peek towards the girl beside her, wanting to say thank you, but she saw the earphones already put back on her seatmate's ears. Fiddling with her fingers, she contemplated about what to do; she really wanted to show her gratitude to the kind stranger beside her.

Her destination was getting nearer and Yoona decided to rummage through her bag to retrieve a blank paper. She had an idea.

When the bus reached the bus stop where Yoona had to board off, her seatmate smiled to her as Yoona rose. Yoona smiled back shyly, and before finally leaving the row, she gestured to the now empty seat. She quickly turned around with face heated up, hurriedly walking to board off the bus, but she hoped that her seatmate would look at the seat and found a white rose replacing her presence, folded neatly from a piece of paper.

Thank God for her decent skill in origami.

 

 

 

The first time Yoona met that certain person, she thought it'd be the only time their path crossed. Yoona tried not to search for her among the passenger every time she boarded the bus, and even if she surrendered to her desire to look for her, the girl didn't show up.

 

Until weeks later, in the morning, Yoona found her—sitting in the very back row of the bus—and her heart leapt with joy. Given her shy nature, Yoona never worked up enough courage to come near and start a talk; but it was enough, for Yoona, to see a glimpse of the earphone-eared girl from a distance.

 

The day Yoona finally attended university (she actually aced the entrance exam, why the heck was she so nervous before? oh well), she promised herself to talk to the earphone-eared girl if they met.

 

Indeed, they did meet.

 

And indeed...... Yoona chickened out on the last seconds, only managing to land a seat a row behind the earphone-eared girl. Much tension, complete fail. Although, Yoona still succeeded to end the day with a wide smile, because she had discovered then that the earphone-eared girl boarded off in front of the university Yoona attended.

 

Was it fate...

 

Or was it Yoona being creepy?

 

(She had practically followed the earphone-eared girl from a distance, after all, a smile gradually blooming as the stalked one stepped into the very building where Yoona's classes were supposed to be.)

 

And there was the start of Yoona's daily habit.

 

Boarding the bus with eagle eyes, ready and hoping to catch a glimpse of the earphone-eared sunbae. Yeah, she still avoided direct confrontation, but during the whole year pursuing the same major, Yoona had memorized several facts about her subject of attention.

 

Kwon Yuri.

 

Had a healthy tanned skin, which led Yoona to wonder what sports she liked to play, if any.

 

A year ahead of her, thus a sunbae.

 

Frequently seen tagging along a tall, lanky fellow who liked to talk a lot.

 

Had nice, jet-black hair, with white cables of earphones seen among the dark locks often times.

 

Single (Yoona didn't know why she let out a relieved sigh at this news).

 

Usually boarding the third morning bus, but not certain about the one for the way back.

 

Silent when she's by herself.

 

Kind, as hinted by the many times she rose up to give her seat to a halmoni who stood nearby.

 

And the one last thing Yoona always wondered about—how dull her pair of eyes was, sometimes.

 

What Yoona was trying to say was, Yoona liked her life, fond of her days. She was comfortable and content. She wanted to stay that way and was okay, so no one could blame her from being stunned far too long when her father started their morning by saying,

 

"I'm sorry, dear, but we'll have to move to Gyeonggi-do tomorrow."

 

Tomorrow?

 

The sudden topic, the sudden plan, the unwelcomed mental kick to the gut made Yoona pause eating her breakfast. She looked up, wishing to find a hint of joking grin in her father's face.

 

There's none.

 

"What about my college, Appa?"

 

"A friend of mine could help you enroll to the university there," her father answered, slowly, quietly, apologetic. "I'm sorry, Yoona... it's because my profession urges me to... my daughter would understand, right?"

 

Yoona could never say no.

 

Not to her father.

 

But she couldn't fake the shattering pieces of her heart during the breakfast, either, and Yoona knew her father had taken notice.

 

What about my friends, was what Yoona didn't say, but she was sure her weak tone told it aloud when her father asked if she wanted to have a second plate of breakfast and she denied.

 

What about the Choi Bakery, and Taeyeon unnie's coffee shop? I promised unnie to always buy coffee there, was what Yoona didn't tell, but she was sure her eyes spoke enough on her behalf when she half-heartedly smiled at her father and excused herself to go to uni.

 

What about Kwon Sunbae, was what Yoona didn't want to admit, but she was sure her heart knew, because when she reached the bus stop just as the third morning bus left, something inside her chest clenched painfully. She looked at the her wristwatch and almost wanted to cry; she was late only by seconds. There was no guarantee Yoona would meet Kwon Yuri on the bus back to home; the morning bus was her last chance, but she missed it.

 

I want to know more about her.

 

I promise I'll talk to her and tell her my name, so pleace come back, dear third bus, I beg you... I'll buy you coffee. Or croissants. Do you like croissants? Or do you prefer kerosene, maybe? Gasoline?

 

Of course, obeying the law of the universe, the bus didn't come back. Its course was always going forwards, never backwards. Except for parking, and the bus wouldn't want to park for another hour yet. So Yoona waited for the next bus, heart withering in increasing despair...

 

Maybe this is for the best. If I get to talk to her... it'll be harder for me to go.

 

The next bus arrived, and Yoona weakly boarded on from the front door. Her eyes half-heartedly scanned the rows, searching for a vacant spot. She had to blink thrice when her gaze zeroed on someone she didn't think she would see.

 

Sunbae.

 

As if answering the silent pray, there she was—the earphone-eared girl, Kwon Yuri, sitting in the middle row, slowly nodding to sleep. Yoona wanted to pump her fist in the air out of joy, but several people had crowded behind her, muttering, nagging about her blocking the way, so she held it in. Instead, Yoona thanked God repeatedly for making the seat next to the dozing off sunbae freaking vacant as she made her way there, hands practically trembling in nervous excitement.

 

It took every single will in Yoona's heart not to tear her lips by smiling ear-to-ear when she, Im Yoona, finally succeeded sitting next to the earphone-eared sunbae again, after one year being a 'lil chicken waiting for the sky to fall.

 

What should I do now, Yoona mentally freaked out, eyes fixed to the back view of the seat in front of her stiffly. Talk? I promised to talk to her and introduce my name, but she's dozing off... so adorable... snap it out Im Yoona! What should I do? It'll be rude for me to interrupt her, she seems really tired... no it's not an excuse!! She really seems like she lacks sleep...

 

So much for determining to not talk, to make it easier for her to let go.

 

While a major half of her brain was freaking out, the remaining attention Yoona could afford was directed to the subject of her own dilemma. She seemed to really start falling asleep beside Yoona. The sunbae's head was slowly nodding back and forth in a slow rhythm, then a jerk, then a few seconds later, Yuri had her head lulled back...

 

...............

 

...............

 

...............

 

......and then landed onto her shoulder.

 

Oh my God what the f......rappuccino asdfghajklaskagashja Im Yoona! Calm! Down! It's not a drill, I repeat! IT'S NOT A DRILL SO CALM THE FROG DOWN!

 

Yoona quietly exhaled and inhaled, her palms sweating. She chanced a glance towards the sleeping girl, and saw the sunbae's lips slightly parted, her tongue peeking out a little...

 

HHHNGGGHHH CUTE!

 

The internal squeal turned into an almost heart attack when the sleeping Yuri mummed in her sleep and slowly snuggled into Yoona's defenseless neck. Yoona tightly shut her eyes and commanded her brain to keep operating because it would be so not funny to suffer blue screen of the death in the morning bus, next to the dozing off sunbae.

 

We'll have to move to Gyeonggi-do tomorrow.

 

Her father's words rang in her ears, and Yoona sincerely wished that the bus would go on forever.

 

 

 

Yoona got off from the bus with a smile, a voice in the back of her mind briefly remembered her promise to drop by Taeyeon's coffee shop, but the voices in front of her mind were buzzing with warmth and dancing rilakkumas because today, Yoona got to get into the same bus her silent sunbae took. Kwon Yuri, Yoona memorized.

Yoona's final stop came too soon and when it was time to go, she had chosen to exit from the back door only so she could pass by the sunbae.

Greet.

Three steps away.

Greet, greet.

One step.

Come on greet her!

Passed.

.........freaking great, Yoona, you chickened out, again.

Yoona slowed herself and glanced to the side view of Kwon Yuri, who hummed a melody Yoona hadn't heard before.

She tried to remember it until she walked into Taeyeon's coffee shop. For the next two hours, she kept humming the melody to Taeyeon, wanting the older girl to tell her what song the melody could probably come from. Taeyeon looked like she almost wanted to kick Yoona out, but Taeyeon loved music, so she endured the torture that was Yoona's indecipherable hums and suggested songs one after another.

One more hour later, Yoona came home with Day6's Colors in her playlist and Taeyeon's scowling face in her phone's gallery of photos.

 

 

 

Forever was a fairytale.

 

Yoona found herself slowly waking up when the weight in her right shoulder stirred. When did she fall sleep? She squinted her eyes at the road, trying to figure out where the bus was. Ten minutes to go before our stop, she mentally calculated. A groan came from her side, and Yoona felt her lips split into a wide smile.

 

The person next to her slipped from Yoona's shoulder, and slowly raised her head, blinking several times, seemingly trying to get her senses back.

 

Cute.

 

Yoona was too caught up adoring the way the sunbae tried to wake up, but she was prepared enough for the moment Kwon Yuri looked up, staring straight into her eyes, mouth slightly open; probably about to apologize for sleeping on her shoulder.

 

But nothing prepared her for the moment Yuri's eyes shifted to rest on her shoulder, eyeballs gradually bulging out,

 

"Holy —"

 

Before the sentence ended, Yoona miraculously could predict what Yuri might say, because she suddenly sensed a warm, wet spot on her shoulder.

 

"—bloody Hell, I'm very sorry!"

 

Yoona was still staring at the visible spot on her shoulder, and Yuri kept repeating the word sorry. Something in the overall situation made Yoona want to laugh, but Yuri looked genuinely ashamed and Yoona didn't want to make the sunbae felt ridiculed, so she looked at the panicking sunbae and smiled,

 

"It's okay..."

 

"What okay? I freaking drooled on you, goddamn. I'm very very sorry!"

 

This time, Yoona couldn't help but let out a chuckle. In response, the sunbae's panicked face gradually changed into a dumbfounded one. Yoona grinned and once again repeated, more firmly this time,

 

"It's okay... I don't mind."

 

The bus halted, then, and they spontaneously looked out of the window. From the big buldings seen, yep, they had reached uni. Yoona rose from her seat, and Kwon Yuri rose too, shouldering her bag. Yoona moved first, quietly stepping aside to let the still flustered Kwon to leave the row.

 

Yuri turned to face her and anxiously repeated, "I'm really sorry for—"

 

"Im Yoona imnida," interjected Yoona softly, smiling. "And it's really, really okay. I bring a jacket. I can cover it. It won't last long, anyway."

 

Yoona wanted the sunbae to nod, to say, 'yeah, um, I'm Kwon Yuri', if only so Yoona could tell her 'I know'. Then maybe they could board off the bus together, exchanging info about each other's major, finding out that they chose the same major, and entering the building side by side.

 

Yuri did nod.

 

But the introduction never came because the latter quickly bowed and turned around, in a hurry to board off from the bus, one of her earphones dangling away as if waving Yoona goodbye.

 

Yoona smiled to herself because, it was ironic. For her. Because the only moment she mustered enough courage, Kwon Yuri chose to turn away. Really funny, fate. Really freaking funny.

 

She's probably wishing for the Earth to swallow her alive, though.

 

Yoona paid for her fare and boarded off from the bus, looking around only to find that the sunbae wasn't anywhere to find.

 

This is probably for the best. You have fulfilled your wish to talk and tell her your name.

 

If you get to go into the building side by side,

 

it will be harder for you to do the goodbye.

 

 

 

Yoona hadn't seen the earphone-eared sunbae for a week.

Even as she walked from the front to the very back row in purpose, Kwon Yuri was nowhere, and Yoona started to feel worried. Did she fall sick? Did something happen? She didn't move out, did she?

"Yoong? Why are your brows furrowing deeply like that?"

Yoona blinked and stared at the curious Hyoyeon. Beside her, Taeyeon was nodding sagely.

"Um unnie, is there a coffee that could cure one's sickness?"

Hyoyeon gasped.

Taeyeon scoffed.

"If there's such thing, we'd be filthy rich by now, dummy."

Yoona pouted, feeling offended. "I'm just asking! Hmph. Just say no if there isn't..."

"Why the sudden question, though? Are you or Papa Im sick?"

"Aniyo......"

"Ooooh, is there someone?" Hyoyeon whistled. "About time, kiddo! So who's the lucky dude, hmm? Hmmm??"

"There's no one," Yoona shook her head and sighed, resting her chin on the table. "I'm just asking."

The day after, Yoona decided to slip a get well soon card, with a set of face mask. She stood in front of the disappearing girl's locker for a while, wishing that if she shall be sick, please let it be a mere cold and nothing serious.

Yoona slowly turned around and walked towards her class. It wasn't that far from the locker, but Yoona wasn't in the mood to power-walk, so she took slow-striding steps.

Which was fortunate now that Yoona thought about it, because it allowed her to saw Kwon Yuri passing by, wearing thick jacket, hands in her pockets, scarf worn around her neck until her nose almost disappeared under the cloth.

She looked so squishy.

And she was there.

Yoona smiled. It seemed like it really was just a cold, after all... thank God.

 

 

 

Yoona couldn't focus.

 

Hours flew fast and she couldn't focus. She couldn't focus not only because she's there in these classes for the last time. She also couldn't focus because her heart kept leaning towards one person, wanting to see her, wanting to talk.

 

Wanting to at least be able to say goodbye before she finally let go.

 

Which was ridiculous, because how did you let go of something you never had a possession of in the first place?

 

I do have this feeling, don't I? Yoona thought in between the long paragraph the lecturer read to the class, that's what I'm about to let go. This feeling.

 

Would her father be mad at her if Yoona asked to stay? If Yoona asked for a possibility to rent a place for herself, not moving out with him? Would her father be hurt? She was the only family her father had...

 

This feeling would probably fade away, anyway. It's probably just a temporary crush...

 

She wrote down the typed text displayed by the projector, but her brain didn't quite follow what her hand scribbled on the notes.

 

That's why, Yoona...

 

If you meet her, for the last time... let's have a talk and say goodbye.

 

So that this heavy feeling in this heart can be lifted.

 

At least she wouldn't live without knowing how it's like to take a bus with Kwon Yuri and chat lightly on the way to her stop. She would have a memory to remember the sunbae by, too. She would relieve her curiosity...

 

Who knows, you'll probably find something you dislike in her, too... and you'll finally able to let go easier.

 

The projector was turned off, then, and Yoona looked down to find her notes for today full of meaningless twirls and big dots. The lecturer bid the class goodbye, tasking them an assignment, one Yoona wouldn't have to finish... and the day ended.

 

The day ended and Yoona packed her bag quietly, wearing her jacket, stopping only for a lingering moment—the lecturer's goodbye this time was literal, for her. Heh.

 

She exited her class and took a deep breath. She glanced towards the last classroom she would have for the last time. Yoona didn't really have anyone in this building, except Taeyeon, Hyoyeon, Sunny, and Seohyun. None of them shared the same major with her.

 

Yet it felt already heavy to walk away...

 

Yoona adjusted the strap of her bag as she walked towards the building's main door.

 

"Oh, it's raining!"

 

Yoona blinked at the familiar voice. She looked around, heart thumping against her ribcage for the possibilities, and as expected—that was Choi Sooyoung's voice. The tall, lanky fellow that often tagged along with Yuri.

 

Bingo.

 

With long strides, Yoona walked towards where Choi Sooyoung and Kwon Yuri stood, watching the rain.

 

Now Yoona, don't chicken out, don't chicken out, chicken exists to be consumed, not to be made a role model...

 

"Sunbae?" called Yoona softly, stopping right behind the tanned girl. Yoona smiled as the mentioned girl slowly glanced at her, but the expression on Yuri's face made her pause. Yuri practically froze, the only hint of life was the tint of red that began to spread from her cheeks to her whole face.

 

Yoona scrunched her face and raised a hand, waving it in front of the unblinking eyes as she repeated again,

 

"Sunbae?"

 

Then, as if electrocuted, Yuri jolted up from where she was standing and quickly went behind Sooyoung, who yelped in surprise. Yoona watched the scene unfolded in front of her in amusement; Yuri seemed shocked to see her here, and Sooyoung was trying her hardest to free herself from the clinging girl.

 

"Oh my God Kwon Yul what's wrong with you?! Stop acting like a puppy after being a momma tiger giving birth to one hundred cubs the whole day!!"

 

So her best friend calls her Kwon Yul. Yoona chuckled, not only from the mental image Sooyoung's exclamation suggested, but also because Yuri's glare towards the lanky fellow looked so murderous. It was the second time Yoona saw such emotion in Yuri's eyes.

 

"OOOOH JESSICA JUNG!"

 

As if a tornado had just passed by, Yoona felt a gush of wind passed her the moment Sooyoung sprinted outside. Towards Jessica Jung, most probably. In the rain. Without... an umbrella? Yoona shook her head and turned towards the Kwon, who looked dumbfounded over the fact that her hiding place was gone in a flash.

 

"So... Kwon Sunbae?"

 

Yoona felt her heart warmed as the name glided off her tongue. Yuri, on the other hand, only looked at her wide-eyed for three seconds before stiffly turning to stare at the door. Yoona could see the tip of the sunbae's ears turning red.

 

She could stop here and not initiate any conversations. Yuri looked like she wanted to disappear, too.

 

But are you sure you're not going to regret it?

 

Are you sure you won't feel heavy, knowing you have a chance to talk to her but not using it?

 

Talk, Yoona.

 

So that this little chapter in your life can have its deserved closure.

 

"Your name is nice," Yoona softly said. I've wanted to tell you that for a year already. Yoona smiled to herself and opened again, ready to say something else because surely—

 

"Your name is nicer."

 

Yuri didn't look at her, but the answer was enough to surprise Yoona. She chuckled—she had thought that Yuri wouldn't reply her words for at least three sentences later.

 

Is your heart feeling lightened?

 

Yes. Hell, yes.

 

That's why, talk. Let's pretend that you've known her for years.

 

Let's live the rest of this day to your heart content.

 

Because it's a goodbye.

 

"Aren't you going to go home, Sunbae?"

 

"Are you?" the tanned girl hoarsely asked back. Yoona hummed, eyeing the distance between them, trying to mask her sad thoughts with a smile.

 

"Actually I left my umbrella today, hehe."

 

Yuri briefly glanced at her, and Yoona stared back, which resulted the former to quickly look forward again. "Aaah... because you're already late?"

 

Yoona looked at the door, too. The exit. If a goodbye was a thing, would it be a door? It probably would...

 

"That, yes. And because I didn't think it will rain..."

 

Yoona could feel a pair of eyes shifted onto her. This time a little bit longer.

 

"Um... I'm really sorry for this morning."

 

Yoona looked at the flushed sunbae beside her and grinned. She showed so much of her cute side to me today. Yoona took a step closer, so that they were side by side,

 

"I told you it's okay, Sunbae."

 

"Well, I, uh..." Yoona watched in amusement as the tanned girl facepalmed herself. She wondered what's going on Kwon Yuri's head.

 

"Do you like rain?"

 

Yoona glanced at the rain briefly, "I quite like it." She turned to look at Yuri, smiling when she found that the latter didn't flinch or look away this time. "How about you, Sunbae? Do you like rain?"

 

Yuri coughed. Her hand rummaged the inside of her bag, and Yoona waited, only to see that the tanned girl pulled out an umbrella.

 

She's... going to go home.

 

Ah, well, it's nice to talk with her, albeit a little bit awkward—

 

"Hey," Yuri nervously said, zipping her bag close again, "do you want to, you know, share an umbrella with me and walk together to the bus stop? Just, think of it as my way to say sorry, or—"

 

It was unexpected.

 

Yoona's brain stumbled over the 'share an umbrella' part, and before she knew it, she let out a light laugh. She laughed, and from the corner of her eye she could see the little smile Yuri had. Truly, how different could her mind and Yuri's mind could be? Why did God decide to push them together, today, of all day?

 

What does God think the closure this little chapter deserves?

 

"I told you it's okay, Sunbae... but I don't mind a company to the bus stop."

 

And so Yuri stepped out from the building, her umbrella being opened, and she turned to look at her, beckoning Yoona to come under.

 

Yoona complied.

 

"Mmm, blue."

 

"Do you like blue?"

 

I like you.

 

Yoona didn't know where that thought come from, but it warmed her heart, even as sadness silently lurked behind the warmth. "Mmhm," she hummed, her hand moved to sneak around the one Yuri used to hold up the umbrella, her fingers slowly curling around the other's tanned ones. She smiled at the slight hitch in Yuri's breath,

 

"It's calming. I don't really have any colors I dislike, actually... each of them has their moments."

 

They walked in silence for a while, and Yoona wanted to talk. She wanted to talk so she could have more things to remember about.

 

"So, Sunbae..."

 

"Call me Yuri," the other replied softly.

 

"Then Yuri unnie." Yoona smiled at the flutter inside her stomach. "You can call me Yoona, then."

 

Yuri nodded, "Okay." A glance was enough for Yoona to notice the smile in the other's face, in addition to the nod earlier. A genuine smile, the one where those often looked dull eyes silently smiled along, twinkling.

 

Something stung her chest, and Yoona swallowed.

 

"Yuri unnie."

 

"Hmm?"

 

"Your ears have been red for about ten minutes, now."

 

Yoona giggled at the huff Yuri let out. It's quite fun to tease the sunbae. Probably because Yoona gained a different reaction from the times she teased Taeyeon, Hyoyeon, or Sunny.

 

"Yuri unnie?"

 

"You should really stop calling my name if all you're going to do is teasing me," the other jokingly huffed.

 

When will I have the chance to call your name and get your answer right back after today?

 

"Yuri unnie."

 

It's nice to know you.

 

"Hmm?"

 

Yoona gulped down the lump in . It's getting bigger. It's tiring to embrace sadness. It exhausted her that her wish slowly became bigger after she fulfilled her first wish.

 

"This time, can I borrow your shoulder?"

 

Yuri stared at her, and Yoona gave her a tired smile. Yuri offered her a reassuring smile and shifted to look forward,

 

"Will you drool?"

 

The bus stop came into their view.

 

"Depends. Is your shoulder comfy?"

 

"Hmm, you'll see yourself." Yoona looked at the tanned girl, eyebrows raised, and Yuri gave her a cheeky wink. Playful. This was the playful side of Kwon Yuri, Yoona carefully noted. "If it's enough to your taste, you can borrow it anytime you want."

 

"Can I?"

 

Anytime is the thing I don't think I'm going to have, Yuri unnie.

 

They had reached the bus stop, and Yoona had to let go of Yuri's hand as the tanned girl closed back her umbrella. Yoona wondered about her unanswered question, wondered if it's alright for her own heart to pursue the answer.

 

Yuri glanced at her, a glance, and the words escaped Yoona's mouth,

 

"You haven't answered my question, Unnie."

 

Yuri looked up at the sky and smiled. Yoona looked up, too, finding the slight rainbow between the clouds as the rain finished its performance. It faded away as it curved lower and lower, and Yoona smiled sadly at the rainbow's story.

 

This flutter in your heart too will fade as today reaches the end, Im Yoona.

 

The bus they had been waiting for slowed down as it reached the bus stop.

 

"Yoona."

 

An hour, and then it'll be time to let go.

 

Yoona looked up, expecting Yuri to board the bus already, looking at her with impatience.

 

Yuri did already board the bus.

 

But in the place of impatience, there was Yuri smiling softly as she held out her right hand.

 

"From now on, should we always go together?"

 

..................

 

..................

 

..................

 

It was hard.

 

It was painful, the clenching pain that came with the flutter caused by that single question, and it was hard for Yoona to receive them all simultaneously.

 

Yoona hadn't expected her heart to feel heavier when she decided to live the day. She thought about the probability finding Yuri unlikeable. She thought about filling in her curiosity about the earphone-eared sunbae so she could move on quickly later, when she moved out.

 

Yoona didn't expect her tears to fall when she saw a glint of hope and fondness of colors in Yuri's eyes.

 

Yoona didn't expect her lungs to forcefully choke the air out of her respiratory system when she saw herself on Yuri's eyes...

 

as if she was her world.

 

"Yoona?" Yuri whispered in worry, "Why are you—oh, Yoona, I'm sorry... come here."

 

No, I am sorry....

 

Yoona let her to pull her into the bus, leading their way to find an empty row. She let Yuri gently pushing her to sit, before silently sitting next to her.

 

"What's wrong?" Yuri whispered.

 

I'm leaving.

 

I'm leaving so please don't hold onto me.

 

Don't hold onto me so that I can have a reason not to hold onto you, either.

 

She choked out, "I'm......"

 

"Yoona, hey... look... it's okay..." Yuri's hands came up to cup her cheeks, and although Yuri's left hand was wet from holding onto the drenched umbrella, Yoona's heart was way colder. "It's okay, you hear me? Whatever your problem is, it's going to be okay..."

 

It's exhausting.

 

It's tiring.

 

Yoona let her head leaned forward, resting onto Yuri's shoulder, and the tanned girl let her.

 

"Don't drool on me, please."

 

Yoona wanted to laugh, but when she opened , a choked sob was the only thing escaping her lungs.

 

"I'm... leaving, Unnie."

 

 

 

"Moving out?!"

Yoona nodded, munching lifelessly on the mocca-flavored muffins Taeyeon brought for her. It's recess, the last recess Yoona would have around her small circle of friends. She smiled sadly at the fallen expression of Taeyeon, Hyoyeon, Sunny, and Seohyun.

"Don't look so sad like that..."

"Don't talk while you eat, choding," Taeyeon nagged, her lips quivering at the end of her sentence. "You... shouldn't talk while you eat even if I'm not here to nag you."

Hyoyeon sniffed, while Sunny turned around to hide her face, faking a cough.

Dear God, why did her circle of friends consisted of dramatic people? She didn't need extra sadness, not right now...

"You can't stay?" Seohyun quietly asked, and Yoona weakly shook her head.

"If that's the case, you should come to our coffee shop before you go home," Taeyeon commanded. "It's a must. You hear me?"

"Yeah, I... can manage, I guess."

 

 

Yoona dreaded the time the bus reached her stop.

 

As promised, Yuri let her to rest her head on the tanned girl's shoulder. Even after Yoona told her, I'm leaving tomorrow, Yuri didn't move away, didn't ask why.

 

They didn't talk much, but from the few words spoken, Yuri didn't sound as heartbroken as Yoona felt; she just kept repeating it's going to be okay.

 

A familiar sign in the street hinted Yoona that it's five minutes before her stop.

 

She slowly raised her head from Yuri's shoulder, quietly shifting on her seat to prepare boarding off. It was then that she noticed her hand on Yuri's hold, and she looked up to find the tanned girl smiling gently at her. Yoona smiled back weakly, retreating her hand from Yuri' warm one, and shouldered her bag.

 

"It's your stop?"

 

Yoona nodded.

 

This would be the time they said 'see you later', if there was tomorrow to come.

 

But Yoona didn't have tomorrow.

 

The bus halted, and Yoona knew.

 

This was the time to let go.

 

Yoona turned to face Yuri and nervously said, "Thank you... for today, Sunbae."

 

The word 'goodbye' refused to come out, and Yoona bit her lips, face heating up with warm ache rising from her chest. Yoona realized, belatedly, that letting go something you ever had truly hurt. It ing hurt because you had known how it felt to hold it in your hand. It hurt because when you let go, there would be a hole you never knew how to cover.

 

For Yoona, her biggest hole was Kwon Yuri.

 

Steps heavier than ever, Yoona turned around and walked away.

 

From Kwon Yuri, a year ahead of her, same major, same university.

 

A sunbae who had a healthy tanned skin, but also could suffer from a cold for a week.

 

Had nice, jet-black hair, with white cables of her earphones seen among the dark locks, sometimes humming along the tunes she listened to.

 

Frequently seen tagging along a tall, lanky Choi Sooyoung, looking so done with the antics of the giant most of the times.

 

Usually boarding the third morning bus, but not certain about the one for the way back, and the bus driver knew her, which was amazing...

 

Silent when she's by herself, but playful when she's with someone she's comfortable with......

 

Kind, as hinted by the many times she rose up to give her seat to a halmoni who stood nearby, and easy to tease, since the tip of her ears were really fond of the color red.........

 

Yoona turned around, trying her hardest not to look back, because she didn't want to see the dullness dawning back into those eyes that held so much hope and colors an hour ago.

 

She boarded off the bus, preparing to go to Taeyeon's coffee shop to fulfill her promise. She stopped and patted her face, trying to get rid of her puffy eyes and jagged breath. She stood there until the sound of engines came from behind, signaling that the bus took off.

 

But the pain inside her didn't fade.

 

It didn't matter if she wiped her tears, because her eyes quickly welled up again, and suddenly she missed her Yuri unnie, Kwon Sunbae, Kwon Yuri, the nameless earphone-eared girl whose smile offered warmth even when the owner of that smile herself was feeling cold inside.

 

"Why does college have to be so dramatic," muttered Yoona to herself, wiping yet another tear that rolled off her cheek.

 

"Because you're teasing me too much today, that's why."

 

Yoona gasped as the voice entered her ears, and before she could turn around, a pair of arms s around her, backhugging her and preventing her from turning around.

 

"Be healthy."

 

Did she board off the bus too? When?!

 

"Don't cry, you big baby. We'll meet again in the future. This won't be the last time. I slipped my phone number into your bag earlier. Call me, okay?"

 

Yoona shut her eyes tightly, hoping to stay in the moment for a little bit longer.

 

"Don't forget me."

 

The whispered words entered her ears, and the cracked tone alerted her. The person behind her released her hug,

 

"Don't turn around, Yoona."

 

"Don't turn around and walk ahead, it's okay. I'll catch up to you someday."

 

And that's the moment Yoona wanted to turn around. The moment Yoona didn't want to care about the label temporary, little crushes, or fading feelings. Because it didn't happen right now. It might never happen and Yoona wanted to turn around to grasp a piece of her again, to never have to let go, to stay.

 

She wanted to hold onto Yuri,

 

wanted to prolong their moments together,

 

but it's time to let go.

 

 

 

"Appa?"

Yoona put her bag onto the table and walked towards the garage. Her father looked up from boxes of things scattered around him, and smiled.

"Hello, baby pumpkin."

Yoona took slow steps towards her father, her exhausted exhales accompanying every stride she took.

It didn't take long until she was there, crouched down next to her father, looking over the packed boxes.

"What's wrong, Yoona?"

Yoona smiled weakly, "I didn't say that anything's wrong..."

"A father can read his daughter's eyes, my dear," her father softly chided her, ruffling her hair lightly. "Is something bothering you?"

"I......"

"Came to the Kims' coffee shop and get offered a part-time job?"

Yoona looked up sharply, surprised at the soft smile her father gave her when she expected to see sad eyes.

"I know, yes. I also know that Mrs. Choi from the Choi Bakery offered a rent with the price half of your payment from the Kims' coffee shop..."

"Appa..."

Her father sealed the box in front of him and rested his shoulders on it, sighing in contentment. He turned to face his daughter and smiled warmly,

"You want to stay, right?"

Yoona couldn't trust her voice, so she hesitantly nodded, mouth quickly opened to add a 'but'—

"I will always be your father, Yoona, but I never own you..." her father cut off her attempt to speak, smiling gently. "You are your own person. I merely guide you to the utmost of my ability, watching and protecting you while you grow beautifully... and now you're old enough..."

"But Appa," Yoona whispered, lips quivering, "you... you will be alone, and—"

Her father chuckled. "Alone, me? Nah... I succeeded in persuading Taeyeon's father to come along with me to do this project. So I won't be alone, my dear... I assure you."

Yoona didn't want to find out later that her father lied for her smile, so she pressed, "I'm going to call Taeyeon unnie and make sure—"

"Call Sooyoung too, then, because I dragged her father into this too..."

"Wait, Sooyoung?" Yoona blinked, wondering how many person who had that names lived around her.

"Yeah, Choi Sooyoung. The maknae of the family who ran the Choi Bakery, what..." her father smirked teasingly, "You don't know? You memorized their menu, even the special events' ones, and you don't know their maknae's name?"

Yoona smiled at her father's teasing. She looked down to her hands, the empty feeling it went through, and she sighed heavily.

"Appa, I..."

"I understand, Yoona," her father replied, never losing his fatherly smile. "I've heard that you're targeting for a scholarship. Participating in a small social program of teaching orphans. And you're old enough to make your own decisions, my dear daughter... I trust you to find your smile from good things in life, even without me..."

God, why did the people around her act so dramatic? Just when she thought she had ran out of tears today, another one made her cry...

"Live your life, Yoona... just let me be a part of it too... okay?"

What kindness did she do in the last time to deserve such dramatic, yet lovable people around her?

"You always are, Appa..." Yoona whispered, hugging her father tightly. "And you'll always be. Thank you, Appa. I love you. I love you. I love you."

 

 

 

Im Yoona loved her life.

 

She enjoyed the major she chose. Liked her small circle of friends who stuck with her shy, lonely, yet at times playful self. Loved the fact that on the way to the bus stop, there was a small heaven named Choi Bakery, where she could pick up her breakfast and annoy the Hell out of the family's maknae, Choi Sooyoung, whenever she's running out of time to make lunch boxes for herself.

 

Felt blessed to have a coffee shop ran by the Kim household several blocks after the Choi Bakery, her supply of delicious caffeine whenever she needed to be more awake than ever. Her new place to work part-time, too, learning about life, struggle, and hardwork.

 

And Yoona never told this little fact to any living being yet, but there was someone who could lighten up Yoona's world just by being exist.

 

The third morning bus arrived on the bus stop, and Yoona inhaled slowly to herself before boarding on from the front door. Her eyes keenly scanned the rows, searching for a certain someone and hoping against hope to have a vacant seat next to that person.

 

As if answering the silent pray, there she was—Yoona's sunbae, Yoona's personal shoulder, Kwon Yuri, sitting in the middle row, slowly nodding to sleep. Yoona wanted to pump her fist in the air out of joy, but several people had crowded behind her, muttering, nagging about her blocking the way, so Yoona postponed her dancing victory and walked through.

 

The dozing off sunbae didn't look up when Yoona slid into the vacant seat next to her. Yoona noted the absence of Mr. Earphones, and the tanned girl's head was slowly nodding back and forth in a slow, non-existent rhythm, followed by a jerk, then a few seconds later, Yuri had her head lulled back...

 

"Kwon Sunbae?" Yoona whispered.

 

"Mmmm."

 

"Kwon Sunbae......" Yoona pressed.

 

Yuri blearily opened her eyes and turned the bloodshot eyeballs (holy , did she not sleep?) to Yoona. Yoona stared back in amusement and waved a hand in front of the squinting eyes several times,

 

"Hello, Kwon Sunbae. Can we switch seat? I was told that you tend to feel dizzy when you sit near the window—"

 

"Yoona?" Yuri whispered, blinking repeatedly, as if disbelieving her eyes and thinking it's was all a cruel dream.

 

Yoona lowered her hand and smiled nervously, "Hi, Yuri unnie. I'm here."

 

"You're here," Yuri repeated, and Yoona thought she saw a flash of wound behind those eyes before it disappeared, replaced with hope, and colors. The fondness of colors was here, and the dullness slowly lurked out, disappearing away.

 

Yuri blinked again, "Hold on, I... dang it—"

 

"Did you not sleep?" asked Yoona worriedly. The tanned girl looked like she had pulled three days worth of all-nighter.

 

"Well I waited for your call, or your message, which never came, and I thought—hold on, let me process this, so," Yuri straightened herself and looked at her, mouth opening and closing several times before she managed to let out, "you aren't leaving?"

 

Yoona shook her head, "Not anymore..."

 

"Ok, great, yeah," Yuri exhaled, "so you? Me? Go together?"

 

Yoona chuckled at the jumbled out words, but she nodded. "Yeah, it will be great if we go together everyday."

 

"Ok," Yuri blinked, leaning back into her seat, staring at the back view of the seat in front of her. "Ok. You. We. Um, great."

 

Yoona smiled, and leaned back into her own seat, never once shifting her gaze from Yuri's dazed face.

 

"I... honestly thought I had lost you," whispered Yuri several minutes later, when she seemed like she had regained her senses.

 

"You're scared?" Yoona whispered.

 

"More than ever," Yuri answered sincerely, and Yoona didn't ask anymore as her brain replayed Yuri's plea last night. Just when she thought Yuri hadn't sound heartbroken, the plea came, and Yoona knew, then.

 

They were equally hurting, whether of letting go, or of being let go.

 

Yuri's heart was breaking too, and that's why she told her, don't turn around.

 

"I'm scared, too," she softly admitted.

 

Yuri shifted to look at her, and Yoona saw it again. Her reflection, on those orbs, as if she was Yuri's world. A skin touched her hand, and Yoona looked at her own hand, which was slowly enveloped by Yuri's warm fingers.

 

Warmth.

 

A gentle squeeze,

 

"Do you bring your umbrella today?"

 

Yoona's eyes widened at the question; she remembered that her father packed the umbrella with him to Gyeonggi-do, which meant...

 

"Oh shoot!"

 

"Oh good," Yuri chuckled, giving their clasped hands another gentle squeeze, "Is it going to rain? Ah~ I hope it's going to rain today, because I want to share my umbrella with you again."

 

The warmth from their intertwined fingers quickly travelled up to her arm, her heart, and finally her face. Yoona quickly looked away, hiding her flushing cheeks by faking a cough.

 

"Oh?" Yuri's teasing voice entered her ears, "I don't know you're quite shy, Yoona."

 

"Sh—shut up!"

 

"Are you blushing?"

 

"You are the worst!" Yoona whined, still hiding her face, and Yuri laughed. The light, expressive, freely, contagious kind of laugh that invited Yoona to laugh along after a few seconds.

 

 

 

The bus continued to travel along the road,

leaving one bus stop to reach another,

and slowly... this little chapter in Yoona's life reached its deserved closure.

And just before it reached the word 'end',

another chapter was started.

A longer,

better,

happier chapter,

because from now on, Yoona would have Yuri by her side since the first written letter.

 

 

 

END