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The 2nd Handful of Love

I walked into the club, earning a few whistles here and there and tried to make my way through the crowd that was starting to surround me. I felt a hand sneak around my shoulder that was slowly making it’s way down to my waist and it stayed there. I looked to my side to see who it was, and it was a good looking stranger. However, I’m here to relieve my stress and depression without getting drunk, because that’s not cool for my kidney and not get chatted up by men. Though, I have to say – I’ve always been popular with the guys… minus Donghae, I suspected he was gay before because of that…

“So… what’s your name?” He said as he ran his index finger down my jaw-line and I held onto his hand to stop him.

“My name is 007.” I smiled deviously at him and his face hardened.

“I’m not joking, girl.”

“Neither am I.”

“Don’t get me angry.”

“Don’t touch me then, ert. Or maybe e, since you look about twenty times older than me.”

He grabbed my arms and threw me over his shoulder, I could feel my being revealed in the air and I felt uncomfortable. Who knew the dress was this short?!

One of my heels fell off my foot and I frowned. Donghae bought me these shoes for Christmas last year!

“Let me go!” I shouted continuously and tried to knee him somewhere on his upper body, but I was thrown down on the ground and I hit my head against the wall.

“Ouch, that’s really rough. What do you want?” I said as I got up and tried to walk away but he pushed me against the wall.

“You were trying to play smart with me? You’re in a freaking club!” He shouted and some of his spit got onto my face. I wiped it off and pulled a disgusted face.

“Well, I know I’m in a ‘freaking’ club. Do you know that too?”

I tried to push him away but he took the chance the grab onto both my wrists, and he held them hard. I tried to shake it off but his grip only got tighter.

“Oh, so you’re married?” He said as he noticed my ring.

I kept trying to shake my arm but he seemed to had gotten angry and placed both my arms above my head and started putting his head down my neck. I felt his lips all over my collarbones and I screamed. He came to face me and placed his lips on me to shut me up. I kept shaking my face and tried to pull my hand out but his grip was too strong.

I closed my eyes tightly, wishing he would stop and suddenly, he did. I slowly opened one eye and then the other to see he had gone. I slid down from the shock, when I heard footsteps coming closer. I fearfully looked up and saw Donghae. He grabbed my arm tightly and pulled me out of the club.

I tried to yank my arm away but his grip only tightened when we reached outside.

“Let go of me!”

He just glared intensely at me and I avoided it. My wrist was hurt from the stranger before, and it was hurting now because of Donghae.

“My wrist hurts, let go of me!” I shouted, this time looking at him and he did.

“What were you doing there? Did you follow me?” He asked.

I scoffed. “Me, follow you? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Yuri?” I bitterly said. He was going to speak when I felt rain drops falling, and they gradually started getting stronger.

“Don’t you think I’m a **** or something? You do, so you must be thinking I’m here to woo and get with some random guy like now! WHY DID YOU STOP HIM?! WHY?!” My eyes were starting to water again. He never failed to make me emotional. I don’t care if he doesn’t like me, I don’t care if he hates me, I don’t care if he doesn’t care about me, I just don’t want to cry over him anymore.

“So you really are what I think you are? Alright then, go on! Go back in there! There’s so much men you can even have a ! And why would I be with Yuri?!” His voice cracked at the end and the rain was so heavy it blocked my vision. I wiped away the rain covering my eyes and my tears too, trying not to ruin my make up.

“Why wouldn’t you be with Yuri!” I said, trying to avoid the topic about me. It hurt to hear him say those words out loud for the first time.

“We broke up! Isn’t that what you’ve always wished for? It’s finally happened! Are you happy?” He yelled and started to walk away.

They broke up, but I couldn’t find a hint of happiness in me. I knew how much he loved her, and he must have been so broken hearted right now. I followed after him, forgetting what just happened.

He stopped walking and I ran straight up to him. I choked the words out my mouth. “Thank you for saving me but I can’t comfort you about Yuri because I won’t do a good job at it.”

No one could understand how much it hurt to say that. I couldn’t breathe. The whole year, I exceeded going through hell, I was walking through mud to my knees all the time and normal things were impossible. Breathing near him hurt, eating hurt, and even talking to people hurt. Was this karma biting him back in the for treating me like that?

“Do you hate me?” He asked out of the blue.

“No, why?” My answer was honest.

“Because Yuri just treated me not even half as bad as I treated you and I feel like hating her.”

I turned around to wipe my tears which blended in with the rain and saw the huge clock outside a convenience store and smiled. I turned around to face him and he looked confused by my smile.

“Happy 23rd birthday, Donghae. I don’t mind if you hate me, because I’m fine with it being one-sided. I don’t care if you return to your usual self within seconds because no matter how much I try to convince myself, I still love you. You should be strong and not let things that aren’t worth your time get to you.”

“But… Yuri is worth it.” I could see he was crying.

“What’s the use of crying?” I shouted, my tears falling as well but I blinked them away. “It doesn’t change the fact that our hearts are fragile! On Wednesday you were her everything and yesterday you were nothing to her!”

“But… I love her even though she’s choosing someone else over me.”

“STOP TELLING ME YOU LOVE HER! I DON’T CARE! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THOSE THREE WORDS. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? I CAN’T COMFORT YOU. I DON’T WANT TO. I just want you to understand that love isn’t the whole world. I, more than you, understand that.”

I could feel my whole body heating up and I felt my forehead. I had a fever coming on again. I had these often but Donghae never noticed. The rain was not helping and neither was the idea of him just staring at me with those beautiful eyes. I felt myself lose control of my body and I fell down to the ground, closing my eyes, not knowing what was going on as I out.

All I had going through my head was that it was Donghae’s birthday, and I was spending the first few minutes of it with him.

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Thank you zeidyris for subscribing!

zeidyris: Heh, the cancer doesn't have too much on an impact on Jessica though, so it's not tooooo important until a while later. Heh, here's the second update of the day!

sicabias: Yeah, poor Sica! Aww, thank you for the love <3 And, I'm unlikely to abandon this one, I don't like abandoning stories... and plus, I have in mind what I want for this!

choki2lovejessi: Aww, you're emotional to me then, but aww.. I'm just quite mean, I don't get sad over these things. Well, here's what happened at the club with some more Haesica!