In the nights that came after, TOP and Rania did their best to make ends meet and see each other despite their growing conflicting schedules. When Rania had met up with the SpinStas, she ended up spinning the last set she had done, which brought everyone to tears. It had been amazing to them that she hadn’t forgotten and even more so to TOP and TaeYang when they heard about it from Steph. Neither wanted to too much interest but everyone felt the overwhelming feel of relief, knowing that she could return to her usual activities without much trouble.

When spending time with Rania, they did their best not to waste time as they talked and he filled in the bits and pieces missing from her memory when it came to her time in South Korea. He brushed over GD but went into depth when it came to Taeyang and Woobin. She spent much of their conversations holding on to him, either on top of him, her ear on his chest, or next to him, holding onto him as if she held onto a body pillow. TOP didn’t mind.

‘Barely controlled love making’ was the only way he could describe it to Taeyang later on as the days passed. TOP shifted in his seat and sighed, unable to keep from wondering what she was doing. When he checked his phone, he found a short message and smiled to himself. ‘I’m with the girls! Text you later!’ he read to himself.

Taeyang looked at him and then asked, softer, “Did you give her the earrings?”

TOP put his phone down and replied, “Not yet.”

“Not to put pressure on you, but she is leaving in two weeks.” TaeYang was quiet for a moment and then watched as TOP nodded and walked out of the coffee shop. It was a sore subject but one they had to talk about on a daily basis.

That night, TaeYang checked his phone and found Rania on the other line. He answered and asked, “What’s up?”

Rania sighed on the other end and asked, “Can you come out for a little while?”

TaeYang smiled, remembering how she used to ask him that before she grew closer to TOP. So he grabbed his jacket, put on his shoes, and left the apartment. He hurried down the street to the convenient store and found Rania sitting by the window, staring blankly outside.

He bought two hot coffees and sat down next to her, sipping and seeing as they sighed together. After half a coffee, Rani finally asked, “Am I doing the right thing?” TaeYang was quiet and so, Rania continued, “If we continue like this, we’re just going to be more hurt. But if we stop, the hurt will start sooner. So, am I doing the right thing?”

TaeYang shrugged, “You’ve never been able to give up TOP. In this life and the other one.” He sighed and stared at his coffee can, “I never really asked, but why TOP?”

Rania didn’t even need to think ot over before she replied, “Because he is kind.”

TaeYang scoffed, “Then you should have fallen for me first.”

Rania smiled, “It’s different. With you, I wouldn’t be able to bear any less plutonic or endearing feelings. Though we have a strong connect, there has never been any heat behind it. With TOP, the moment I saw him,” she swallowed and blushed as she admitted, “I struggled to control myself.”

TaeYang nodded, knowing just how hard it was for someone to stir romantic feelings within her. It wasn’t that he didn’t try but he didn’t have the thought occur to him until Mr. Yang asked him about it after her surgery. TaeYang had been surprised and knew it would have been so easy for them, and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to do that.

“My life back home will be busy. His life over here is getting busier. I can’t help but feel like it will be over soon,” she added.

TaeYang clenched his jaw and then pulled an arm around her shoulders, comforting her. “You have to do what is in the best interest for both of you. We’re all still so young. Who knows what the future may bring?”

Rania nodded and then closed her eyes, tears that TaeYang hadn’t seen for so long rolled down her cheeks. He pulled her face to his shoulder and pat her gently as she cried silently. They were true tears of sadness and understanding. TaeYang knew Rania had struggled with decisions in the past but this one was different. This time, it was her choice that led to the tears.

***

TOP woke up to the sounds of someone cooking in the kitchen. His eyes opened wide and he threw aside his blankets to find himself fully dressed in his sleep clothes. He jumped out of bed and rushed into the kitchen to find Taeyang and Woobin cooking a very American breakfast with Rania. Everyone wore work out clothes and no one heard him enter.

TaeYang saw him first and smiled, “Hungry?”

TOP nodded to Woobin and then asked, “Why are you guys here?”

Rania answered for them, “We’re talking about the big party tomorrow night. It will be the SpinStas final performance before leaving. We wanted to try some collaborations and surprise performances.”

TOP frowned, “TaeYang I can understand, but Woobin?”

Woobin smiled, “Rania and I are going for a walk after this. We know about your busy schedules,” he added and then turned to Rania, “About ready to go?”

Rania nodded, “Yes!” She turned to TOP and hugged him before she smiled up at him, “You have a full day so we made you guys a full breakfast. Eat it and be healthy,” she added.

When TOP leaned down for a kiss, she turned and kissed his cheek first. She let go of him so suddenly, he felt a bit strange. But he dismissed it and took a seat, staring at pancakes, eggs, hashed browns, and bacon. “Where did you guys find all of these?”

“What we couldn’t find, we made,” Rania replied and then followed Woobin to the door. “Have a good day!” and then she and Woobin were gone.

TOP turned to see GD walk out of his bedroom and sit down. The three ate in silence as each seemed to hide secrets from each other. Taeyang wondered how long he could keep Rania’s secret from TOP. GD wondered when he’d get a chance to talk with Rania. And TOP wondered what was going on with her and how he ought to go about the topic of her leaving.

***

Later on, at the park, after Rania returned to the café and parked her bike safely, she and Woobin walked to the park at a carefree and leisurely pace. It had been a hectic morning and she had asked him for a favor so suddenly, he almost couldn’t make it. Now, after everything had been done, he asked her, “How was that?”

Rania sighed and replied, “Difficult.”

Woobin winced and then asked, “If I had pursued you and taken that chance from TOP, I wonder if things would have turned out like this?”

To this, Rania sighed, “All I can say is, my life would be incomplete without you. In whatever capacity you would allow to me,” she added, linking an arm around his arm.

Woobin felt his heart squeeze and then he let out a loud sigh, “Now I know what Choi YoungDo felt like when Cha EunSung chose Kim Tan over him.”

Rania sighed and tugged him, “Except, we never held those feelings for each other.”

Woobin let go of his confession because he knew that, in the end, it was half-hearted anyway. He walked with her, he talked with her, he imparted his heart to her, and yet, they would never be anything more than just kindred spirits.

***

Rania peeked in to see GD sitting at the soundboard. She smiled and entered, “Can I wait for TOP in here?” she asked.

GD turned and stood, “Rania.” His eyes flashed something from the past and then he turned away, “How about we grab coffee instead?” he asked.

Rania nodded, “Sure. Let’s go,” she smiled and held open the door for him. When he stepped through, they walked side by side down the hallway in silence, GD with his hands in his pockets and Rania holding onto her messenger bag. Neither of them noticed Daesung turn the corner and see them walking away together.

Both ordered and retrieved their beverages before taking a seat at a private booth together. GD stared hard at his beverage as Rania sipped hers. She looked around, noticing hair very similar to Daesung’s, and then returned her gaze to GD. “If this is uncomfortable, we can head back to the studio.”

“When you disappeared,” GD started, ignoring her previous comment, “I felt like you did it purposefully, to put me off.”

Rania sighed and protested, “It would have been the best thing to do if the accident didn’t happen.”

GD nodded, “I know that, but I am still haunted by fantasies of what could have been if you had accepted me.” Rania grimaced but GD continued, “I am happy now, with my current situation and feelings. I just don’t know what to do with these thoughts and premature feelings I had for you.”

Rania smiled and reached across the table to touch GD’s hand. He looked up at her, surprised for the sudden contact, and finally looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry to have burdened you.” GD watched her and felt the tightness and pressure in his thoughts pass. Through the clarity and sincerity in her eyes, it was almost as if she seeped those feelings from him and he was left with a vacant feeling where they had been. He let out a smile and released his cup and held onto her hand. “I’m so sorry that my apology is so late,” Rania added and GD shook his head.

“There were circumstances that simply were unavoidable,” GD replied, swallowing his other words.

Rania nodded, “Please forgive me.”

GD wave his other hand, “There’s nothing to forgive.” He smiled at her and she returned it. He couldn’t help but feel as though her expressions were a bit sad. “You’re leaving then?” he asked softly.

Rania nodded and replied, “Soon.”

GD swallowed and then nodded, “And TOP?”

“Soon,” Rania repeated, much softer than the last.

“You should apologize to me for touching another man’s hand without my permission,” TOP stated and GD and Rania looked up to see him standing a few feet away from them, his phone in his hand.

Rania released GD’s hand and he, also, pulled his hand back. Rania stood, walking over to TOP, and held onto his left arm, “We were just chatting while waiting for you,” she confessed, her expression changing immediately.

GD noticed the pained adoration in her eyes and looked away. TOP looked from GD to Rania and then stated, “We can go now.”

Rania nodded, “Okay.” Before turning away to the door, she turned to GD and added, “Thank you for everything.” 

GD watched them walk away, Rania talking as TOP seemed disgruntled. He wondered if he should just come clean about everything to Kiko, but she didn’t need to know any of it. And there was nothing there. Just a one-sided love from a distant dream.