TOP held Rania’s hand as she walked with him around the block. The party had ended and everyone left, but TOP stayed back to help clean. When they finished, TOP suggested a walk around the block and Rania agreed, eagerly taking his hand and pulling him out of the café.

Alone and carefully, TOP stopped at a lit bus stop and stood very still. Next to him, Rania looked around and then turned to him, “Are you alright?”

TOP smiled and stated, “The first time we met was at this bus stop. I had left my card and you chased me down to return it to me. Do you remember that?” he asked.

Rania smiled, “Of course. When you first walked in, I snuck so many looks at you from the kitchen. I thought I’d be caught right away.” Rania sighed and turned to stand in front of TOP. She wrapped her arms around his torso and leaned her ear against his chest. She was pleased with the slight increase of his heartbeat. “Oppa, I’ve been feeling and thinking a lot.” TOP closed his eyes, dreading her next words. “When I go,” she paused, and then asked, “will you wait for me?”

TOP didn’t move his arms around her. “What’s this? You sound like a soldier and you’re making me your woman,” he added.

Rania smiled, shaking her head slightly, “I promise to be faithful to you. So, will you wait for me?” she asked again.

TOP thought carefully about his options and what he ought to say in that situation. But as his heartbeat sped up, he felt her arms tighten around him. He couldn’t lie and he couldn’t tell her the truth. So, he let her assume what she wanted and let the silence linger between them before wrapping his arms around her and holding on to her as tightly as he dared to.

***

The doctor waited for the other staff members and nurses monitoring the screens and her body levels and, when he got the nod, he sat down and read from his script. He had connected Rania completely before putting her to sleep. When her vitals were steady and stable in her sleep, he stated, “Counting backwards, take the time back, and move to the first memory you solidly remember when waking from your sleep.” He checked the signals and then asked, “Where are you?”

“At The Lovely Café,” Rania replied, in a deep sleep.

The doctor looked her over and then asked, “Who are you with?” She frowned and he leaned forward, “Rania? Can you hear me?” He waited, noticing a sudden spike in her brain waves…

Rania felt herself drift and wondered why it felt so comfortable and yet not. Like on a bed of rocks, they massaged her muscles but also grated her skin. A voice in the distance reached out to her and when she opened her eyes, she was in the Lovely Café, alone. She looked around and then saw TOP enter. She looked at him, a strange sensation ripped through her, and then world before her was gone.

Rania sat in the passenger seat of Woobin’s car. She stared blankly out the window as Woobin drove her back to her small apartment above and behind The Lovely Café. When he reached the back alley, Steph and Taeyang sat chatting, watching as Rania walked up to her apartment without much of a greeting and promptly knocked out.

Woobin parked and sighed, walking over to the others. Steph asked, “Well, how was it? How did she do?”

Woobin shook his head, “I really don’t know. She went in, their session was shorter than I thought it would be, but when she came out, she seemed very blank. I don’t really know what happened,” he added cautiously.

Taeyang frowned, “From what I know, she should start remembering things from the first time she goes in there. But she looked like she didn’t even see us,” he added, shaking his head.

Woobin frowned, “Where’s TOP? Why are you here?” he asked.

Taeyang smiled, “We got off early today. TOP went directly to the hospital. I think he tailed you guys.” And then, from the shadows, TOP walked over to them.

“Everything seems normal outside,” TOP stated, eyeing the window of the upper apartment Rania was known to be living in. “Is she alright?” he asked gently and then flinched, receiving a text message. He checked it and then frowned, “She asked how my work was going.”

Woobin nodded, “The doctor said she hasn’t stepped through the door yet.” Taeyang and Steph were quiet.

TOP sighed and replied, “It’s busy today, but I’m here if you need me.” After sending it, he sighed and waited. Everyone eyed him over and then his phone vibrated. He read it aloud, “I’m more tired than I thought I would be. I’m going to sleep but text me when you get home.”

Steph frowned, “Is she supposed to just knock out like that?”

Taeyang nodded, “Supposedly, yes. The more rest her body has, the better it is for her mind to relax and the barrier to fall.” Taeyang shrugged and then turned to TOP, “Can I get a ride back with you?”

TOP nodded, “Yes, we should go.” He glanced once more up at the window and then hurried away, Taeyang with him.

Steph looked Woobin over and then asked, “Same routine tomorrow then?”

Woobin nodded, “I suppose so.” He stared at the ground and then asked, “Would it be cheating if I held onto her at the end of all this?”

Steph looked at him and then up at the window, “I knew you liked her since that night. I was wondering what took you so long to get close to her,” she added. And then she turned her eyes on to him, “You know who she likes and wants, so yes,” she added, “it would be cheating.”

Woobin swallowed and turned to walk back to his car. He wondered if he would really be able to cheat in this unfair game, or just take things as they came. For whatever reasons God had, Woobin felt as though his plutonic feelings would simply remain that and felt the ache he’d felt after she disappeared the first time.

Rania felt a jolt and found herself sitting in a hallway of a hospital. People rushed back and forth but she had no recollection of them. TOP suddenly reappeared and sat down next to her. Rania turned to look at him but didn’t really see him. She looked around and asked, “What’s this?”

TOP didn’t look at her but replied, “This is after the car accident. All of the Spinstas are either waiting or being checked.” He nodded across the hall and Rania noticed a group of familiar young women. Everyone had bandages or bruises, but all appeared very solemn. Rania stared at one of them, recognizing her as Steph and the moment her eyes focused on Steph, TOP disappeared and Steph looked up at her. Rania only stared, unable to speak.

“Do you remember me, now?” Steph asked. Rania looked at where TOP had been, uncertain about his sudden disappearance.

TOP caught Rania as her legs gave out. She had been waiting for a bus when this happened. Those around them glanced but TOP had been careful enough to walk with her. He walked her over to his car and took her home right away. From the distance, Woobin watched, surprised TOP had reached her before he did.

After tucking her into his bed, TOP stayed next to her, staring down at her. He would be gone soon. He felt her slipping from him. It was strange and he didn’t like it, but he knew it had to happen. So he allowed himself to steal moments with her each day, as many as he could. Only through this way did he calm his heart.

Rania turned from the empty hallway, standing this time, and her eyes stopped at Steph, the only one of the girls who looked back at her. “Why am I here?” Rania asked, a bit more confident from the moment before.

Steph stood and stepped closer to her. She motioned to the sad girls and replied, “Everyone is waiting to see you.”

Rania looked at them but none of them looked back at her. Some were, for reasons unbeknownst to Rania, blurry and deformed. But Rania only asked, “And where am I?”

Steph turned and pointed to the door that Taeyang and TOP sat in front of, looking very grim. “You are in there.”

Rania frowned and walked over to the door that Steph had indicated. She stared at the door, not recognizing it. With uncertainty in her voice, Rania asked, “I’m in there?”

Steph nodded and stood beside her. “Do you want to go in?”

Rania looked at the door and then her eyes wandered to her left, where she could see the kitchen staff of The Lovely Café. Her eyes lingered there and her hesitation only made her turn from the door that led to her hospital room.

At the bus stop, Rania stopped and stared at the glass, wondering when it had been cleaned last. She reached out and touched it, dragging her finger down the glass. “Be careful, it’s dirty,” Woobin warned, next to her.

Rania turned to him and then bowed, very politely, before she stepped away from the glass. She turned away form him and then looked back at him, “Let’s get some ramen.”

Woobin smiled and followed her down the street, away from the bus stop. He checked and noticed TOP in a car nearby, only watching. He sighed, knowing how heart aching it was, but kept walking with her. He wanted, more than anything, to believe that he would still be there when the fabricated world fell away. Even if he were only to get ramen with her, he wanted to remain in her heart.

Rania swallowed and saw the kitchen to her left, the lineup of girls filled with sadness to her right, more of their faces and details became clearer this time. Girls of the similar age and build all, all very punk rocker styled.

Rania turned to face the door and then Steph stepped up next to her. “Don’t you want to walk through that door?” Steph asked, her voice soft and very gentle.

Rania stared at the door and then tried to step away but she couldn’t move herself, as if the only path, despite what she saw, was through the door. She didn’t like that feeling but had no willpower of her own, or so it seemed.

So she simply stood and stared at the door with her name on it the plaque next to the door. She reached out as if to touch it but then pulled back. Was it her imagination, or was there heat coming from it? For whatever reason, she pulled back and away from the door. She turned, feeling her entire body wretch as she attempted to leave her spot.

Rania’s body started rocking and shaking as if in pain. The orderlies on hand strapped her down to the bed as nurses looked for ways to subdue her sudden violence. It being the fifth day, she ought to have approached the final point before her memories could return, but her sudden jerk was unnatural.

The doctor called out instructions and administered the coma-inducing shot into her IV. As her body calmed, her breathing also slowed and she returned to her hypnotically induced stillness.

With many eyes on her, the doctor took a moment before he started his monologue again. He needed her to open the door otherwise their schedule would have been for nothing. And as he started, Rania’s brow drew into a frown.

Rania sat on her , staring up at the door before her, eyes wide and body in mildly numb pain. She stared at the door and then closed her eyes. She didn’t want to go through the door. She felt as though someone she didn’t want to see waited for her. Someone that would take everything away from her.

“Why are you afraid of yourself?” TOP asked, on the ground to her left.

Rania didn’t even look at him as she replied, “If I go through that door, even if where I am now isn’t real, there is no guarantee the other side is real, too.”

TOP smiled and touched the door, passing through it and then returning. “You have to face your past before you can move on.” He extended his hand to her and she looked at it for a moment.

“I don’t what to think that it was all a dream,” she whispered.

TOP stood up straight and then looked at the door, as if he could see beyond it. “At least it was a good dream,” he added, very dreamily.

Rania looked at him and then stood. The moment she reached out and touched the door, the world around her fell away. She closed her eyes, whispering, “Goodbye, oppa,” to TOP before she walked past him and through the door. She felt tears fall but knew no more.

TOP and Woobin watched as Rania walked into The Lovely Café, Steph with her. Rania looked around, seeing but not completely believing. As they walked, Steph talked with her in English, and Rania simply looked without responding to anything. When she saw them, she cocked her head to the right, as if able to recall them, but then Steph pushed her into the kitchen.

TOP turned to Woobin, who sighed and stated, “I guess it’s the moment of truth.” The got up and followed them into the kitchen. Rania stood in the center of the kitchen and looked around. Kanari had taken her place as the head Chef as the others glanced curiously at her.

Steph smiled and asked, “What do you think of this kitchen?”

All eyes on her, Rania nodded and smiled, “It’s a bit small, but I like it.” She walked around and looked without touching. Woobin and TOP couldn’t help but notice her perfect English accent without any trace of Korean in it.

“So, she is back then?” TOP asked Steph softly.

Steph nodded, “It’s like she woke up from a dream. She keeps looking around, like she should see something or someone but she doesn’t. Did you guys see the way she paused at the bus station?” she asked.

Woobin sighed, “She’s unconsciously looking for us.”

Rania turned and saw TOP. She looked him over and then turned away from him. TOP felt that like a punch in the stomach. Woobin and Steph both grimaced, but he said nothing and simply walked out of the kitchen. He didn’t want to see her if she didn’t know him. It just hurt too much.