6. UNFAIR

SO, I kinda maybe changed my chapter plan halfway through *awkward cough*

But I hope this works haha...

In the hallways, the atmosphere is tense.

The leader's act is still intact, and he has his arms draped around his cronies shoulders a few steps ahead of Kyungsoo and the two others, feigning to use them for support, but has stopped with the whining as of now at least.

Taemin is walking in sync by Kyungsoo's side and has the torn-up book huddled close whilst the other crutches on forwards. Jongin, on his other side, has his head down and hands pulled into his trouser pockets as he goes, and Kyungsoo is just blank - as always.

There is no conversation between the three.

It allows Kyungsoo to think, at least, and to get a grasp of his emotions as they stand, but the silence is no less suffocating.

He realises that he is angry, above all, and he is angrier than he has been in years.

With the anger there is also sadness and frustration, and a subtle humiliation too, where today he has discovered the true extent to his weakness.

He risks a glance now, to Taemin, who is flanked on his left side, and sees how the other walks stiffly and with his jaw tensed as if he has gritted his teeth together as he goes.

Kyungsoo huffs out solemnly and wrinkles his brows, a wash of guilt flooding his system. 

Before, in past occurrences, he has always been alone when facing his bullies, and has never had anyone stand up for him - both from afar and from up close. 

It has for so long been a battle he has fought against by himself that the aftermath has never been something he has ever stopped to think about.

He does not remember since when he has been covering up for his bullies or making up excuses to any prying eyes which may linger on any physical injury, and just as with Doctor Zhang before and the librarian earlier on, he does not hesitate to stay silent.

His silence this time though, holds a far heavier burden than usual.

If he keeps quiet when he is the only victim, he has wronged himself and no one more. 

Today, for the first time when he has kept quiet, he has also wronged two others. 

After being emotionally disassociated with or to even a single student in his school for up to three years, he, now, feels a deep sense of regret, having let someone down in a show of petulant spite and childlike fragility.

He has realised now that he is a lot weaker and far more cowardly than he had assumed himself to be, and he has never been more stricken by something in his whole life.

"Kyungsoo," someone calls just then, snapping him out of his reverie.

Kyungsoo looks up, blinking wildly, and Taemin gestures around to where they have stopped, and the door which is open just behind him.

"We're here," he provides, when Kyungsoo doesn't immediately start walking forwards. 

The smaller boy startles slightly, but after a moment he crutches on forwards, wherein the second he enters, the door to the principal's main office opens as well, and the man steps out, making him freeze in his tracks.

A suffocating stillness falls in the room, where the principal acknowledges each student's presence in turn with hard but unreadable eyes.

Kyungsoo hasn't been to the office a great amount of times, but for every occasion he has been it was usually due to situations just like now - though those were of a lesser seriousness, and only verbal conflicts had occurred. 

Then, it had been the odd student or worried staff member who had brought the event to attention after witnessing it themselves, rather than from being personally involved. Their recounts of the story, however, were not backed up by Kyungsoo, and the principal has never had sufficient evidence to confirm that the situation even occurred - what with Kyungsoo's unwavering denial and how the courtyard, where the bullies target him most, is one place in the school where cameras are not installed.

Now, though, the circumstances are different, and Kyungsoo realises that his situation might actually be discovered today, or, at the very least, confirmed of its extent.

And that thought, though it is weak and dubious, terrifies him.

"I'll speak with you one at a time," the principal says eventually, gaze still intense, "and if I get different stories, you will all be reprimanded accordingly."

He stops a second and turns his nose down, peering through his spectacles at them all. 

"It would be easier if you told the truth," he says, and here he glances at Kyungsoo, who averts his gaze to the ground.

The man clears his throat and turns towards his open door. "Park," he says, and the leader looks up. "You first."

Kyungsoo thinks that waiting might be one of the worst forms of torture life has to offer.

Less than a half hour must've passed since they'd entered the office, but it felt like a lot more than that. In the waiting room now Jongin is the only one not there, and is currently in the middle of his own questioning on the other side of the door.

Kyungsoo has now only Taemin by his side and an empty chair by his other, and it is silent between them.

The bullies are against the opposite wall and are talking quietly to each other and becoming rowdy enough for the lady at the office to pinch her nose at the group, but not quite enough so as to warrant a scolding.

Kyungsoo knows that this would be a perfect time to talk to Taemin if he wanted, to maybe apologise like he thinks the other deserves or hang his head for him to see as a small price to pay for his cowardice, but he is nervous, and ashamed of his own actions too.

His hands are restless on his lap and he can't sit still because of his worries, but, as he tries to form a plan, it somewhat startles him when Taemin ends up speaking first. 

"Kyungsoo," the other boy calls out, his voice low and quiet and lips barely moving.

Kyungsoo's head darts his way and his eyes bulge in their sockets, his voice croaky and stuttered when he instantly mumbles out a "y-yes?"

Taemin is looking straight ahead and not at him, his gaze fixated to a place on the wall behind the leader's head with such intensity that Kyungsoo goes rigid and starts gnawing at his bottom lip - where the sting has died down. What is on the boy's mind is unfathomable from his plain expression, so Kyungsoo has no idea what to expect when the boy finally sits up straighter as if to speak.

"You don't have to say anything," is what he says eventually, voice low. "If that's what you're worrying about, you don't have to say anything."

Kyungsoo blinks rapidly, taking in the spoken words and frowning. "About what..?" He asks, tilting his head to the side in inquisition.

Taemin still doesn't look his way, and only shrugs, lips in a straight line. 

"I mean you don't have to tell him anything," he clarifies, nodding towards the principal's door. "If that's what you're worrying about, and if that's why you're so restless, then it's okay. I don't mind."

It takes Kyungsoo a second to understand what Taemin means, and, when it strikes him, a coil in his stomach builds and his mouth goes dry.

Taemin, he realises, is giving him leeway. Taemin is giving Kyungsoo permission to lie about what happened. 

It is as if the boy has handed him a 'get out of jail free' card in a monopoly game and then sent himself to jail directly following, giving Kyungsoo an extra life and losing one of his own. 

Because if Kyungsoo really does lie like he usually does, and if he doesn't tell the truth, like he should do, Taemin and Jongin are outnumbered 2-4.

And Taemin is still saying this.

Still, Taemin is willing to do that.

"I," he responds, his lips; blinking wildly. "That wasn't what- I mean-"

"Kyungsoo," someone calls out just then, and they look up at Jongin who stands by the now-ajar door, gaze on the two. "He'll see you now."

Kyungsoo stills for a second, mouth slightly agape. He turns to Taemin but the boy is still not looking his way, and does not show any signs of doing so.

It isn't as if the other is ignoring him, or is showing any clear bitterness or hostility over the situation, but Kyungsoo has never been more affected by anything before - by this image; by this lack of eye contact and slackening in warmth from a boy who has been anything but cold.

Taemin is still angry, like anyone would be in such circumstances, but he is not nearly as angry as Kyungsoo has expected him to be.

It should be reassuring, and it should feel good that the boy isn't pressurising Kyungsoo into going against his bullies to keep his own self safe, but the effect is the complete opposite.

Because the heart beating in his chest has never felt heavier.

It is something he has already acknowledged - how small his bullies can make him without even having to lift a finger or say a word - but it is something he has always found shame in. Kyungsoo has never been a strong person, not truly.

Before everyone found out about him, he was outgoing. He remembers having talked a lot and laughed a lot in those days, but he also remembers having moments of insecurity when his jokes were easily brushed over or when a tinkling insult from a friend hit him a lot harder than he showed.

He put up a facade even then and he did so quite successfully, but right now, in this moment, he has never felt more bare.

And he has never hated himself more.

"Kyungsoo?" Jongin calls out again, voice soft but confused. "Kyungsoo, did you hear what I said?"

Taemin is unmoving and Kyungsoo's gaze still does not leave his face, though he can see Jongin's frown from the corner of his eye.

In the end it is a short guffaw which breaks his focus, and he whips his head to the side and looks straight ahead, to where the leader is sat.

The boy and his friends are laughing about something, and the leader in the middle has his head thrown back as he does so, eyes forming crescents and laugh lines indenting in his skin. 

He looks so happy. 

Kyungsoo thinks, suddenly, that it makes no sense.

It is unfair that he can be happy.

It is unfair, and - Kyungsoo only now realises - it is Kyungsoo's fault.

His eyes flash, and, in his head, like a mantra, it is unfair, it is unfair, it is unfair, repeats.

With a lump in his throat and a look in his eyes that has never been there before, Kyungsoo stands up. 

In the heat of the moment, he also takes a step forward, and with his crutches still tucked beside his chair and his legs out of balance, he stumbles to the side.

A sharp "ah!" escapes his lips and he falls to the ground so quickly that the complaining ache which brews in his leg catches him off guard for a second.

"Kyungsoo!" Comes simultaneous cries from both Taemin and Jongin. Taemin lunges down from his chair and hooks hands underneath Kyungsoo's arms, moving him up to get the pressure off his leg, whilst Jongin reels forwards and crouches in front, eyes wide and alarmed and staring at Kyungsoo's closed ones, and the twist in his expression.

"Kyungsoo-" Taemin says from behind, but a presence fills the space Jongin has just left and the principal's appearance cuts his words off.

"Kyungsoo?" the man questions, tone worried as he steps forwards. "What happened?"

At the familiar voice Kyungsoo opens his eyes, mouth still in a small grimace but expression wild with fierce emotion.

"Sir-" Kyungsoo calls, suddenly trying to rise. 

He feels hands on his arm coaxing him to his feet and glances quickly at Taemin by his side, before grabbing a hold of the boy's blazer and steadying himself until he is upright.

"Sir," Kyungsoo repeats, tone now urgent. "Sir, I need to-" he claws at the fabric in his hand and shuffles slightly, looking past Jongin, who had risen when he had, and at the principal. 

"Sir, I need to tell you-" he breathes out, ignoring the ache in his leg. "I need to tell you what happened."

Electricity is zapping through Kyungsoo's veins and it keeps him focused, his gaze not straying and not landing on the three a few metres away, tensing at the exchange.

The principal looks confused at his words, and his frown deepens, lines indenting into his forehead.

"Okay." he says. "We can talk. But are you ok-"

"Sir," Kyungsoo stresses, cutting the man off. If he wastes more time, it, this, will start to crumble, and he knows it. "Sir, Taemin didn't do anything wrong. Sir, he didn't hit anyone. Taemin and Jongin didn't do anything wrong-"

"Alright, Kyungsoo," the principal agrees, "but let's talk in my office-"

"Sir, they were just trying to protect me." Kyungsoo goes on, as if he has not heard the man's words. As if this is the last chance he will get to speak. "They were just trying to stand up for me. They didn't do anything wrong. Please, believe me."

"Hey," the leader says now, voice low in warning, unable to hold his tongue.

Kyungsoo's gaze flickers to the three on the opposite wall and the leader's eyes are glinting, an intensity in his expression which has never been needed before. 

Kyungsoo looks away.

"I'm telling the truth," he continues, his voice breathless from how fast he has been talking, and this feeling of disregard, of speaking his mind without second guessing, is one he has never known before. 

He feels like he's a mess, repeating words and stumbling over them in his haste as if he's afraid the engine he's finally set working will veer off and die out just as suddenly as it had started. 

"Please believe me," he says now, eyes earnest and wide. He thinks that he is crazy, he must be crazy, but when a stunned silence has fallen and he chances a glance at Taemin by his side, the small quirk to the boy's lips makes it more than worth it.

They're all still given a two-hour-long detention for the following day.

It makes sense - they hadn't played by the rules.

The principal was very tempted to call witnesses in to fill in the blurs in the story where more than one scenario had been provided, but Kyungsoo vehemently fought against this. He knows that he is not the only one who fears the leader, and not the only one who would lie to the higher-ups if they had to.

He is fairly sure though that the principal knows his story is the one that is true, and that is reassuring - at the very least.

Getting into trouble isn't something he minds per-say, but being labelled as trouble is something he'd rather avoid.

Today, he has avoided that, and helped two others avoid as such too, but he knows his actions won't just be forgotten; there is only so far that a weaker party can go before the stronger's ego is tarnished enough to warrant a response.

At the end of the school day, Kyungsoo is crutching his way slowly down the hallways towards the main building's front doors when he spots the leader and his friends already standing there, looking around themselves.

Kyungsoo's stomach coils uncomfortably and his hands tighten around his crutches, body hunching to make himself look smaller.

It is inexplicable, but he is sure that they are waiting for him - whether it is to talk, or something more.

He didn't really expect anything less, but he hadn't expected something so soon; it's a foolish move - attacking on the first day of war.

Nonetheless, the three are there, and it is not something he can hide from. 

In normal days, Kyungsoo would still have tried, still have tried to avoid his bullies whenever possible, but his resolve has been drained from the day's events, along with his fear and his wariness. 

It's still in there, somewhere, like always, but they fizzle and die out when he thinks of his torn up library book, and let’s anger in instead.

It's why it only takes him a few seconds to gather himself and walk onwards with a head held high.

The foyer which he steps in is crowded and he hasn't yet been seen, but it is not something he's trying to avoid. Instead, he moves slowly through the bustling body of people and approaches straight on, towards the door and his bullies, his crutches clacking rhythmically for each time he moves.

The leader is the one who notices him first, a coy smirk playing across his lips when he elbows the two others and starts guffawing with slow steps forwards.

However, that smirk is short lived.

"Kyungsoo!" Someone calls from behind.

Kyungsoo turns around on instinct and startles slightly when he sees Taemin approaching, looking breathless as if he had just run a long way.

"Taemin?" Kyungsoo blinks, craning his neck when the boy stops in front of him. "Um..?"

"Kyungsoo," Taemin says again, smiling widely. "I was worried you might have left already."

Kyungsoo frowns, cocking his head to the side. "Worried..?"

Taemin gives him a questioning look, as if he had expected Kyungsoo to understand what he was trying to say by now.

"I thought we could walk home together?" he asks instead, lips stretching wide once more and turning in at the ends.

Kyungsoo's lips part in a small gape, and his brows rise so far up his face that they are hidden by his fringe, unable to hide his shock.

He automatically thinks to ask why, or maybe if something was wrong, but what comes out instead is, "but I live really far."

Taemin laughs loud and unrestrained at that, eyes crinkling and face lighting up and Kyungsoo can only blink his eyes furiously and wait for the boy to calm down enough to speak again.

"I think that's okay," Taemin says eventually, still smiling widely. "A little exercise never hurt anyone, right?"

Kyungsoo's still confused, but he nods his head anyway, unable to speak.

When he doesn't immediately start walking though, frozen on the spot, he sees Taemin's eyes begin to dart to the side and he follows where they are directed, realisation dawning on him.

"Oh." He says, making Taemin focus his attention back on him. Kyungsoo his lips, his good foot shuffling awkwardly against the ground. 

"You mean, you want to walk me home?" Kyungsoo corrects, looking over at the leader now and how those beady eyes are watching their exchange.

Taemin doesn't respond to that, but his silence is enough of a confirmation.

"Fine." Kyungsoo mumbles after a moment, turning around to crutch down the foyer. 

"Wait, f-fine?" Taemin questions, walking in line with Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo nods slightly and slows down his pace a little, deftly avoiding the gazes that are still on him. He is too drained to fight back, and too uncaring to think what this will mean for him tomorrow. 

He doesn't have to look to know there are glares directed his way; he's playing with fire right now and he knows it. Avoiding trouble once is just tickling on nerves, but doing so twice, and in the same day, is enough to aggravate.

By his side, he vaguely registers Taemin's rambling small talk, and he nods along as if he is listening, but for each step they take forwards, the prickling under his skin continues to intensify.

When they are a mere couple of metres away, he is really expecting something to happen - a confrontation, or even a few spiteful words of acknowledgement as they pass. 

He's preparing for it in his head, expression neutral and safe to hide away the weakness, but what he expects to happen never comes.

Instead, they walk straight past and out into the slightly chilly wind, and they are not stopped.

And in a lot of ways, that scares him more.

He can still feel it - the leader's glare - but for each step taken onwards, the coil in his stomach loosens.

He his lips after they have moved far enough away, and only then realises that Taemin is still talking.

"Thank you," Kyungsoo interrupts, not looking up. He senses the boy turn his head to look his way, but he doesn't meet his gaze. 

"And I'm sorry." He goes on, voice quiet.

He knows that Taemin hears him, even though his expression does not change from by his side. 

Taemin doesn't ask him to elaborate, or explain his words, and for that he is grateful, but what he does say, eventually, after a curt clear of his throat is, "that's okay."

And really, Kyungsoo thinks, it isn't.

-

A/N

Idk why this took so long - I'm so sorry!

Not so sure about this chapter, but I hope you like it anyway.

Also, I rewrote the beginning of my chapter 1 if you want to check that out? I've also changed a lot of my original plans for this fic over the past couple of weeks, for example I've taken hunhan out of the tags because I don't see a storyline ever happening between them. That might change, I don't really know, but I thought I should give you the heads up ^-^

Comment what you thought below -xoxo