Chapter IV: The Idea

Jiyong passed over the pile of women's magazines hopping to find something a little more interesting, even something sports related. But his search was in vain, so he settled for a woman's magazine that didn't look too…girly and more family oriented. The waiting room was painted pink and lavender and light classical music was piped in at a low volume. There were silk flowers and real flowers on the small side tables, paintings of geishas and other dancers on the walls.

But Jiyong was comfortable in the overly feminine setting. He had come here to see Dr. Park with Taeyeon many times. They had the ultrasounds here; he had seen his son his thumb. They talked about due dates and delivery options. They had joked with the nurses.

After the near panic attack he had at the hospital yesterday he was sure coming to see Dr. Park would bring those horrible feeling right back to the surface. But Jiyong felt nothing but growing excitement. This was the first step to filling the void Taeyeon's death had created.

Jiyong thumbed through recipes, clothing and make-up tips without any interest. But then he came across and article on how to make home-made modeling dough. Jiyong blinked and sat up straighter. Now this was valuable information. He didn't want his baby to miss out on anything in its childhood just because there was no mother. Jiyong pulled out his leather bound day planer and jolted down the instructions. There were other articles he found important too. "Ten nourishing meals kids love." "Top Vacation spots for kids." Jiyong finally scribbled down a note to himself to subscribe to the magazine.

He had long finished the magazine and was thumbing through an older issue when the nurse finally called for him. "Mr. Kwon, the doctor would like to speak with you now."

Jiyong's heart raced as he followed the soft blue-smocked nurse down the twisting hallways to the doctor's office. The exam had taken a bit longer than expected and Jiyong was worried. Did Dr. Park find anything wrong with Dara?

He found both doctor and Dara sitting opposite of each other at a large wooden desk. He remembered the cluttered office from long ago. Dara shifted nervously as Jiyong took his seat next to her.

"I can't believe you talked into helping you do this, Jiyong." Park Bom smiled ruefully at him as she arranged a few papers on her desk.

Jiyong grinned at the young lady doctor. "You felt sorry for me remember?"

"I felt bad for what happened to Taeyeon." Bom agreed.

"What sounded like a good idea in theory is very nerve racking in practice."

"Don't you think I'm ready to be a father?"

Bom leveled her gaze at the him. "Oh, you're ready; I just don't think the world is ready to accept your means."

"I really don't care if the world is ready or not. I'm taking my destiny into my own hands. I'm plotting the journey to a life the world denied me."

"You sure do plot a direct course." The doctor mumbled.

"What ever happened to good things come to those that wait?"

"I did my waiting and look where it got me. If you're feeling too much guilt in helping me, I'm sure I can find someone else." Now Jiyong leveled his hard, lavender gaze at Bom.

"I was afraid you would say something like that." The doctor sighed and clasped her hands in her lap.

"I would rather help you with this than see you go somewhere else. After spending so much time with you and Taeyeon I just want to see you happy. I want to help."

Happy? Jiyong was unsure if even having a child would insure him his happiness. He knew there would be good days and there would be bad days. Jiyong also knew that he needed to develop some sort of bond with a living thing before he drifted off into a wasteland in his own mind, never caring about anything.

"How did the physical go?" He said as he noticed Dara sitting in silence.

"Other than being a little worn down, Sandara Park is in perfect health. I've given her prenatal vitamins which she is going to start taking right away. They will help build up her blood. Of course the full results won't be back from the lab for a few days, we'll know more by then. But for now everything looks good."

Jiyong wondered how much personal information Dara shared with Dr. Park. Did she know about her brother? From the way Dara was discreetly checking her watch told the man that Sanghyun was very much on her mind. He had to get Dara on her way.

"Well if everything turns out alright, what is the next step?" He asked as he stood from his chair. Dara scrambled up with him.

"We'll need to set an appointment coinciding with Dara's ovulation." Bom tapped at a large calendar on her desk.

"You can come at the same time and donate the . We'll teat it with a solution that sort of tubo-charges it; then we'll do the insemination. Fortunately you two have no history of infertility. So I don't think we'll have to do it more than once. You're not having any problems with impotency or anything, are you?"

Jiyong felt a blush crawling up his neck to its inevitable trek to his face. He cleared his throat and focused on the doctor, trying to ignore Dara's first smile in days.

"No, I…um, everything's in working order. I think. I mean, I don't have any reason to believe I won’t be able to…you know." Jiyong suddenly felt smothered in the tiny office with two women.

"Alright." Bom was scribbling down notes, oblivious to Jiyong's discomfort.

"Have you ever had a count taken?"

Jiyong shook his head.

"Well, we should do one. It's always best to know exactly what we're dealing with upfront."

"Great, fine. Just say when." Jiyong in a deep breath and glanced over at Dara. Her mood seemed to have improved a great deal in the last few moments.

"Is that painful?" Dara's sweet voice was innocent enough.

"The count, I mean."

"No, not at all." Dr. Park replied.

"How, exactly does it work?"

Jiyong wanted to roll his eyes. Dara was in med school, Damn her. She had to be doing this to bait him. Yet Dr. Park took the question at face value. She launched into a full explanation of the recovery process, and thanks to Dara's probing questions, left nothing out-including the little room stocked with girlie magazines where he'd be expected to provide a sample.

Hearing all the embarrassing details, Jiyong began to sweat. His tie had already vanished and he fought to undo the first couple of buttons on his shirt. He waited only long enough for the end of the explanation and then he grabbed Dara by the arm.

"Call us once you get the lab results back." Jiyong then hauled Dara out of the office before she could ask anymore damn questions.

"That was fun."

Jiyong muttered as the elevator doors closed and sealed them off from the world.

Dara smiled her brightest smile yet. "I thought so too."

"And you want to make me squirm because…?"

"Because misery loves company. Why should I have to suffer all the indignities?"

"Hmm that's a hard question. I'm not a rocket scientist, but…" Jiyong tapped his chin with one finger.

"Because you're getting paid for it?"

Dara raised an eyebrow; she hadn't heard Jiyong use that much sarcasm before.

"Well, well, Kwon Jiyong can't stand suffering indignities huh? Well, I figured it out. You think you're paying me incredibly well, but actually I'm only making one thousand, three hundred and seventy-five won an hour. And that includes nothing for the pain of childbirth."

"But I bet that includes nights where you'll be doing nothing but sleeping. Am I right?"

"Obviously you've never been pregnant. I was only with child for a while but I could hardly get any sleep in that time."

The elevator doors opened and the pair silently made their way out of the lobby and into the beautiful noon sun. Spring time was the best time in Korea.

Jiyong walked Dara to the bus stop and stood with her a moment.

"You really should get a car of your own, that you should." Jiyong said in half thought, wincing and he realized it must not be easy for her to take the bus everywhere. What if there was an emergency?

"I do have a car of my own. It's cheaper and sometimes faster to take the bus." Dara said, glancing at the bus schedule written in the plastic bench cover.

"So, what's your point?...about before."

"My point is, you're not doing me some big favor." Dara replied.

"I thought we both understood the favor was mutual. Where else are you going to get the money, Dara?"

Dara ran and hand through her impossible long hair. She was starting to hate the way she liked the sound of her name when he said it. On Jiyong's lips, it was such a casual way, like they had been friends for a long while. If she didn't have to worry about Sanghyun or if he wasn't so distracted with having a baby in such a strange way …Dara found him rather attractive.

"You know I have no other way to get the money."

"Then we're in this together right?"

Dara smiled softly and nodded. "Yeah, looks like we're stuck together."

Jiyong smiled, transforming his face into someone gentle and boyish. Dara felt the air leave her lungs and she suddenly wish the bus would get there so she could bolt on it and duck down in one of the seats. Jiyong was handsome with his normal scowl, but when he smiled….heaven help her if he started to smile at her more often.

Jiyong leaned forward slightly.

"It won't be as bad as you think." He promised in a soft voice.

"How would you know?"

"Because we're going to work together to make sure this isn't hard."

"Ah, so you're giving the team a bit of a pep talk, C