I drove my car to the hospital. Soon I reach there, I frantically searched around for her ward. With my hands slightly trembling, I pushed the door open. Dambi were sitting at the couch while HyunSoo sat beside Jung Ah. Other member already gather there... I took slow steps until Jung Ah came into view. I can't belive what I see. Jung Ah were lying down on her bed miserable. I tried so hard to fight back my tears as I came up closer to her. I reached out for her hand. I hold her hand. I could feel Jung Ah warmth as I held her hand. “Jung Ah…” I called out weakly to her.  "Jung Ah I'm here…" My voice trembling. "Wake up… Jung Ah… Jung Ah why won’t you respond me…are you mad at me? Tell me...Jung Ah....talk to me. Don't do this to me..” I patted her face. The sadness I was feeling was suffocating and my forehead slowly laid on the back of my hand and I started sobbing. "Kahi unnie..." Nana was hunging me from back. "Jung Ah unnie not that mean to…to leave us here.." Nana soft voice sounded, and it was slightly trembling. At this point of time I could hear Lizzy bursting out crying. 

Suddenly, the hand I was holding wriggled slightly and I sat up straight in shock., my eyes and mouth wide open at Jung Ah.

"OMO!! Jung Ah unnie is awake!" HyunSoo shout. "I'll get the doctor.." Nana and Lizzy rush out from the room.

 

I : "Kim Jung Ah..." I caress her cheeks.

Jung Ah : "Ka...Kahi unnie.." She's smile to me. I miss this smile. But it not same like before. She looked so weak and pale. I smiled back as my tears rolling down my cheeks. "Why are you crying Kahi unnie?" She asked me weakly as she wipe my tears with her warm hand.

I : "Because of you babo yahh..." I caress her hair. "Where you think you wanna go? Leave me?? I won't let that happen. I will never forgive you if you leave me like this Kim Jung Ah."

Jung Ah : "But....Kahi unnie....I........" Suddenly she took a deep and heavy breath....

I : "Yaa Kim Jung Ah!! Don't play around like this! Jung Ah!!.." I patted her face.

Lizzy : "Jung Ah unnie!!" 

Dambi : "Where is the doctor??!! Jung Ah!!" All girls were crying, but I still try to adjust myself with what just happened.

 

As the nurses push Jung Ah into the emergency room, I collapsed. "Kahi unnie..!" Dambi held me in her arms just in time. "Dambi yaa...Jung Ah can't leave me....she can't leave me!" My tears can't stop flowing down my cheeks. "Calmed yourself unnie, I know Jung Ah won't leave you. She love you unnie." Dambi hugged me. "Unnie...I think Jung Ah left this for you.." Dambi handed me one pink envelope from her bag. I took the letter from Jung Ah to me. As I read that, I couldn't hold my tears.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Kahi unnie

 

          It's me! Your Babo....I don't know why you like to call me by that name. But I love it everytime you call me Babo...hahaha silly right??

I don't know why I am writing this, because I really hope that this letter never gets to you, because if it does that means I am dead. I want to be able to tell you that we'll meet again someday, but that's not going to happen. Sometimes when people say goodbye, it's only temporary. In our case, you know that's not true. This is goodbye, and it's final. We won't be speaking again. We won't see each other again. Ever.

          I'm sure the concept of finality is difficult for you, I know it's difficult for me. We've known each other for more than 4 years, and we've each been a part of the other's daily life.

 

 

          Kahi unnie… I’m sorry I had to keep to myself the real reason to why I had to leave.  It was so hard trying to keep it from you. You have no idea how much it hurt me when I have to pretend to hate you. I had no choice. My heart was tearing apart. I can't face you when I know I have to leave you anyways. When the first time I know about my disease, I just think of you. I have to leave you unnie...and I don't want that to happen. That's the reason why I keep it from you. So I decide to leave After School and leave you guys. Maybe in that way you will forget me. 

          I think leaving you was the smartest decision I ever made, but I just couldn't deal with the pain. It's breaking my heart. Memory that we've spent together, holding each other, were the best times of my life. But no matter how much I wanted to keep you in my arms, I couldn't. I couldn't hold on to you, knowing that all were going to hurt me and maybe you too.

          And you making everything hard for me every times I have to met you, to see into your eyes. As we sit together, I turn away because I afraid you'd see the tears that are about to form in my eyes. That's the reason why I keep avoiding you unnie. Every night I cried so much when I see our picture together. I miss you so much unnie. You are the person I know I could turn to when I needed help, you are the person I looked at when I needed to smile and you are the person I went to when I needed a hug. When I am away, it is like I have left my soul at your side.

          You know what unnie, after I leave the dorm...every times when I got your call, I'm so happy! Only God know. I wanna pick up and tell you how much I miss you when you are not around me. But I can't.... I can't bear to heard your voice. It's killing me.. I just could cry~

 

 

 

          I know it weird to say this unnie, but since first time I met you. I couldn't seem to forget you....and you're always on my mind. I feel so happy to be around you. At first, I thought of you as a really good sister and best friend. But I realized that my feeling there didn't end. I was so afraid to tell you....because I didn't know what you'll react. I want you to know how much I love you. We have been through so much these past years. You mean so much to me and I want so much to make you as happy as you make me. But seem I couldn't. Each passing day has me falling more in love with you...You can do the slightest thing and it warms me. Most of the time you don't even realize it. You are always in my thoughts and in my heart. I never knew that love could be so wonderful until I met you. Thanks for being there when I needed a shoulder to lean on, for patiently listening to my personal problems. Unnie, I just want you to know how happy am I to have you in my life and I thank God for that. Althought I know I'm not suppose to love you, I'm not suppose to care, I'm not suppose to live my life wishing you. But I can't help myself fell in love with you Kahi unnie.

 

 

 

Kahi unnie.........  

          You make me smile when others can't, you make me feel warm when I am cold.

You have shown me so much love and so much more. I want you to know how much you mean to me. You are my whole world and I love you with all my heart. You are my happiness.

          I put your photo over my bed so you could look over me as I slept. Well, now it is my turn to look over you as you sleep and keep you safe in your dreams. I will always be looking over you to make sure you're safe.

          Just because I have passed away does not mean I am not with you. I'll always be there looking over you, keeping you safe.

So whenever you feel lonely, just close your eyes and I'll be there, right by your side.

 

 

 

I'm sorry...... I know you'll have a wonderful life. I just can't be a part of it.

Your Babo, Kim Jung Ah

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Jung Ah!!!" I scream out my heart. "I can't let you go, there is so much you don't know. I can't be right if your leaving me. I need you to always get me through. You have to stay here....loosing you is all I fear. Don't let God take you away because I need you to stay. Don't give in, don't let it be the end. Because you are been so much more than a friend to me. Just hang on, we will pull through...just like always it's been you and me...." I cry out.

"Kahi unnie..." Nana, Lizzy, Uie and Dambi hug me tight to calm me down. "Unnie...Don't be like this, Jung Ah will sad to see you like this." Dambi patted my shoulder.

 

 

"Who is Park Kahi....?"  I saw the doctor walked toward  me. He takes off the blood covered rubber gloves as he steps out of the room, and wipes the sweat off his brow. "It's me!!" I stood up immediately. 

"Patients wanna met you. Please follow me." He said and I follow him. 

 

Jung Ah : "Kk.....Kahiii unnie.." Her weak trembling voice calling my name. I almost  collapse, my footsteps being weak as I walked closer to her. I reached out for her hand.

I : "I'm here babo yaa.."

Jung Ah : "I just wanna see you for the last time before I go..."

I : "Don't say like that babo yaa... You won't go anywhere! You have to stay here....with me..." 

Jung Ah : "You know that I can't right?"

I : "You have to!! You wanna disobeyed me? I'm the leader right!" My tears keep flowing down.

Jung Ah : "But I can't do that this time unnie...... Kahi unnie..." I put my index finger to her lips.

I : "..shhh.." I caress her cheeks "Kim Jung Ah....I know I waste too much time to say this...but...I love you Kim Jung Ah. .Not as my sister, but I really do love you with all my heart. I can't imagine how life would be without you, you make  the world complete. You mean the world to me. I can't live without you."

Jung Ah : "Kahi unnie..........I love you too......" tears falling down from her eyes as she smiled to me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been a while since I stares blankly at the sky when a tear suddenly making it’s way out of my eye. 

I cried and laughed because of you. I'm speechless, suffocating and lonely now. I keep waiting here by the phone maybe you will call me. With your pictures hanging on the wall, I keep waiting for you. Why did you leave me behind? I wish you still here.......but I know you are still near. I just wish you didn't have to go. I love you more than you know Kim Jung Ah.......

 

“You have my heart. Keep it well...........and wait for me......”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

***********************************************************************************************************************

Sorry this story have to end like this~ :(

 

Should I write new story?? :P