Lies were never a pretty thing, but neither were the consequences of honesty.

Letters were never my thing; too formal and too meaningful. You could spill all of your feelings on one piece of paper (or more, some people just have a lot to say) and not even see the ugly look of horror on that person's face. Just think about it, if you were ranting, you may be violently shaking that person out of anger, if faced faced with a break up, you may be bawling your eyes out, with a snot-filled face, and a bunch of sniffles (some poofy eyes afterwards too), and if you're happy, you could be jumping around so much that you fall or something. For example, you could get so happy that you lose your footing when you hit the ground and fall so gloriously that you accidentally bring them down with you or proceed to kick them in some way, somehow.

It's pretty hard to say that now, considering the fact that Yixing just gave me a letter from Chanyeol. One thing just seems to lead to another - first the box and now a direct letter. Great, I would rather have seen and talked to him face to face, but I guess it's better than nothing. I don't want to open it.

"I met up with Chanyeol a few days ago. You know, when I wasn't around . . ." Yixing rubs the back of his neck nervously and he is obviously trying to avoid my eyes. I hate that he feels guilty about it. It makes it feel like this is wrong, like the letter is wrong, like what I'm doing is wrong.

"Where is he?" I can't help but ask desperately. I promised myself that I wouldn't care anymore, but that isn't going the way I planned. It's funny, I thought everything was just beginning to go the way I wanted it to.

Yixing shakes his head so I start to shake him.

"He didn't tell me," he replied, pausing for a bit between those words since I was shaking him. I stop.

"You're lying. I know you are."

He breathes, "Baek-"

I cut him off, "Don't. Just- I'll just go."

He runs a hand through his hair and I can't help but feel bad. (But why do people run their fingers through their hair when something is wrong anyway?) I make a move to leave, but he stops me.

"He'll come back, Baekhyun. I know he will," he said. I believed him, I really did. I always felt more open to Yixing, because he was more gentle and comforting in a way. It was easy to talk to him without feeling judged; it was the same with Chanyeol.

Too bad he was lying.

I go to work after that. I met up with Yixing earlier in the day since Sehun, Jongdae, and Luhan were never around in the morning, Lazy asses... I bet they would always lay around in bed in the early hours, sleeping or just basking in the softness of their blankets and pillows, while the gentle light coming from the window would shine down on them. I haven't even been to their apartments, let alone know if they sleep near a window.

I end up tipping over a CD stand. Before that, I tripped over a box. Prior to that, I was unpacking that box to put into that CD stand. I take a deep breath and remember that if I'm going to open the letter, I'll have to do it in a good mood or else I might rip it to shreds in the most casual way possible. Maybe break into tears along the way because I didn't read it and who knows when Yixing was gonna meet Chanyeol again.

I go down to pick up all the CDs when someone reaches for one the same time I do. Cheesy, huh?

"Morning, Baek," Kyungsoo looks at me with a smile. I don't even remeber when he satrted calling me Baek. Jongdae calls me that once in awhile, but not commonly. Kyungsoo does though, it was so casual and sounded so nice from him.

"Morning. . . " I couldn't help but mumble that and look down. I feel like a teenage girl who just bumped into her crush in the hallways, so she's dying on the inside because oh mah gawd, we just touched shoulders. He then starts helping her pick up her things and she says thank you, but is really thinking: we're going to get married now and have beautiful babies and I'm never using that pencil again, I should just frame it on a random wall in the house for everyone to see. I'm not acting like that right now.

"Umm, Baekhyun?" He's waving a hand infront of my face now and I wonder if I'm drooling, "BAEK."

"Y-yeah? What is it?" I drop everything I'm holding like an idiot and tip over the stand with my foot again. I've never been this clumsy and I really need to stop staring at his lips. (His glorious heart-shaped lips.)

"You seem out of it, something wrong?" he asked. His voice lowers and is laced with worry; I want to hear it again. And no, I do not have a tiny crush. (That happened fast.)

"I'm fine, just distracted."

"Don't hurt yourself."

"Okay,"

"..." He doesn't say anything, smiles, and leaves.

I look down and turns out, he picked everything up and put them in different piles - the same way I need to place them on the stand.

"Don't slack off now~" I hear a singsong voice and see Sehun behind me, picking up the CD stand. Little brat (who's not so little and also taller than me).

"I'm not. What are you doing here?" Sehun stopped coming here three months ago, shortly before Chanyeol left. It's like he knew it was coming.

"Why don't you take a wild guess on why I came to a music store?" he asks and I want to wipe that smug grin off his face in the least violent way possible (but still violently though.)

"You're here to find a bass with the longest neck in the store so you can't stick it up your ?" I asked, though it was more like a statement than a question. I grin up at him, but it doesn't last long since he kicked me.

Pulling me up, he says, "I'm looking for a new bass. Maybe white and black." Luhan's favourite colour was white, not sure if that's still the case.

I raise my eyebrows, "Playing again?" No one has been, maybe Yixing, he liked to compose songs and play for fun. I could never figure out how he taught himself to play. A musical genius maybe?

"Yep. I missed the feeling and I decided if I was going to start up again, why not with a start fresh? New bass, new songs that Yixing wrote, and a new goal," he shrugged.

I snort, "You? A new goal?"

Sehun gives me his signature poker face and I wonder how he met someone as lively as Luhan.

"I just want to play because I like it," the smile he gives is shy, and I remember that Sehun is the youngest.

"In the back."

"Heh?" he said, with a dumb, blank look plastered onto his face. I roll my eyes and point to the back of the shop.

"The instruments are back there." It's cute that his eyes lit up when he turns his head back at me. He turned around so fast I'm surprised he didn't get whiplash.

"Thanks."

I nod and Sehun leaves.

I knew that he didn't want to play because he liked it; in fact, Sehun gave up playing the bass just before Chanyeol left. It was the first time I found Sehun being dishonest with me.

How many lies has Sehun told since I've met him, I wonder.

I saw 'deep-eyed soul stranger' around the front of the store too. He hung out around the area Kyungsoo would normally manage (we all know each other's schedules. . . don't worry), and I feel a twinge of jealousy, because he might be there for Kyungsoo.

"Oh! You're here," I hear Kyungsoo say and I know he's talking to him.

Yep, I feel the green one-eyed monster coming out. If you're wondering why he only has one eye, it's because I brutally stabbed him in the eye last time I was jealous. If I think about it, no one could really blame them, Chanyeol was extremely attractive and those tattoos didn't help in calming down your hormones.

Mr. Tall ' Deep-eyed soul stranger' hugs him and I wonder how they met. It was kinda cute, Kyungsoo was on the shorter side of the hug. I don't have any reason to be jealous, but I still am. I guess it's just that desire of attention from someone other than the other boys... Sehun was right, I'm turning into a teenage girl. Not that it's a problem, I'd just rather be a woman (for personal reasons of course).

I feel like this 'stranger' was someone I've seen around a lot, it's too bad I can't remember.

"WHAT!? WHEN WAS THIS?"

"You don't need to yell idiot, I'm right beside you. Like right beside." I said. Cue the act of me motioning to the area between Jongdae and I with my hand. And yes, my hands are very beautiful (I've even been complimented before).

"He didn't really want me to mention it to any of you, especially . . . " Yixing trails off and we all know that the person Chanyeol didn't want to know about him coming back was me.

"Still, he gave Baekhyun a letter and didn't have the guts to say anything to the rest of us?"

"Luhan... how do you know about the letter?" I never mentioned it and Yixing obviously said nothing. He was too faithful to promises and revelled in honesty, but would tell lies to those he cared about if it was the only way to avoid the pain that came with the truth.

I understand that the reasoning was that they're happy now and it's what mattered, but there are always consequences with untruthfulness. If it never came, then the Mistress of Fate would always come back in a way where they would repent for their falsehood with Karma by their side, or by a simple event of unfortune exploited by Coincidence - her dear friend of the past.

"I know Chanyeol's writing," is all he replied. Luhan used to talk more, but that changed.

"But ho-"

"I saw the letter in your bag and just by writing your name I could tell it was him," he interrupts.

I scoff, "I thought Sehun was the detective of the group."

"Sherlock Holmes always needs his partner in crime - Dr.John Watson. And plus, it was Sehun who figured out that Chanyeol was leaving before he ever did," Luhan shrugs it off and eventually catches what he said.

"B-Baekhyun, I didn't mean..."

"Where's Sehun?" I must point out that I also dramatically stand up.

Jongdae joins in, "He left earlier, we don't know where he is. Don't Baekhyun, you know he was scared. It's Sehun."

I don't really listen after that, I just leave and go back home. I didn't try to contact Sehun either, I wouldn't corner the poor boy. I knew him well enough that he would be hurt if I did.

I can't help but lie to myself again, because the real person who was hurting was me.

Dear Baekhyun,

I'll be doing this the cliche way, so if you're reading this that would mean I'm gone. Also don't start crying now, I'm not dead or dying. I just needed a change of scenery you know? I always told you about that - wanting to travel the world and see new places and eat a lot of food.

I'm sorry, but I don't miss you Baekhyun and I hope you feel the same way. What happened between us needed to be done. You needed it. I needed it.

Don't ask Yixing where I am either, he dosen't know. There's no need to worry, I'll be fine out here. I was fine without you and I was fine before I knew you too. I want to ask you a favour before I get to all the sappy, gross stuff though and I hope you can do this for yourself more than for me. You always needed to have someone else as a reason to do something.

Keep an eye on those idiots, will you?

Even when he was gone, Chanyeol was the most honest person I knew.