Forgetting was like a second nature to me.

It didn't take long for a month to past for the whole ordeal. I didn't know where Chanyeol was and whenever he was mentioned, it always went quiet. I'd say it was for the best really. Not only me, but the band had to wait for Chanyeol. Waiting for him to arrive for practices, dates and even the simplest things like eating out together or just going to the karaoke place around the corner. You never knew what was going on inside each of our heads, even more so Chanyeol; and we were treated like we weren't important. I can't really say it wasn't intentional.

I obviously got fired from my job somewhere along those lines. I did get a new job - one that I actually enjoyed. It was near the old practice room and karaoke place so it wasn't that hard to get to and I could easily see everyone between shifts. It was at a music store, one that was filled with CD's of various genres and artists to different languages. There were also a few instruments here and there; I always played the piano when I wasn't able to meet up with the band. I didn't really have a specific job, we all just switched what we were doing from time to time. Sometimes I could be managing the cashier, and then another shift I would be stocking up or just helping customers around the store.

I would marry a piano if I could. I wonder if that's legal...

A few hours later, I got changed, took my bag, and greeted my colleagues goodbye. I noticed one of them staring blankly at me before I left, so I decided to ask them, "What's wrong?"

I seemed to have surprised him, because all I get is a wide-eyed face with a choked out, "What?"

I chuckle lightly (I never chuckle, not even for Chanyeol... what is a chuckle anyway?), "I just wanted to know if you were all right, Kyungsoo."

"Y-yeah... I'm fine," is what he says, but stuttering never was a good sign unless this was another Korean drama or anime, and maybe even a fanfiction.

"You don't sound fine, you know you can tell me right?" It surprised Kyungsoo and I both. We don't really talk, and here I am - acting like I can understand what's bothering him as if I knew him for more than three months. I could tell you that I'm really good at reading people, but that would be lying. It hasn't been close to a month that I've worked here, but most of Kyungsoo's feelings can be seen through his eyes. I don't know what is is actually, but it's like he's trying to tell you a story through his eyes. It always seemed as if something was wrong, but you could never pin point the exact situation he looked like he was going through.

"I know, you said the same thing just last week," he says with a smile. A gentle one that turned upwards and captured the heart shape of his lips. I really just said that, and I'm staring at his mouth too, now that I think about it. I space out and it feels weird being interested in someone else other than Chanyeol.

I hear him laugh so I look up, seeing his eyes turn to crescents. "What about you?"

"Huh?" It was a horrible response and I'm obviously gaping at him in the most cheesiest way possible. I thought he was endearing, but it was in a way that was entirely different from Chanyeol. The way it felt around Chanyeol has never been matched by someone else in my life.

"I mean, are you all right?" he's still smiling and I couldn't help but do the same.

"...yeah, I'm just tired is all," I wasn't though; I've been getting so much sleep after I went back to the apartment. It was like the weights on my shoulders just dropped off.

"Well, get some rest, you did get let off early today," he pats me on the back and returns to what he was doing beforehand. I don't know why I did get let off this early, but I do remember a black cat walking by the shop as I was leaving.

I took a double take and suddenly, it wasn't there anymore.

I decide to go the old practice room like usual. We always hang out there now, no one uses it and the one the band would practice in when Chanyeol was still here, didn't belong to us anymore. Just like Chanyeol never seemed to have belonged in the band anyway. I don't wanna be a jerk, but the band never was close like they seemed in the first place. I say that but they didn't break up after he left. You can't play without a drummer and they refused to find someone who could; people were always hard to replace. I guess things really weren't the same, but then again, when was I ever part of it anway?

I turn the corner and I find myself running into someone with another oomph. It's like the little kid all over again, but this time it's a man who is obviously taller than me. I had to be the short one in my 'family.'

The man's reaction comes first, "Are you okay?" It's funny because I swear I heard another chuckle. Everyone just seems to be chuckling today and I don't know if I should be worried or not. The latter seems to be the easiest option so I would say that it would be the better way to go.

"Y-yeah, are you?" I can't seem to look up. It seems all too familiar. The scent is the same and I suddenly feel the need to leave. It feels like deja-vu and it actually scares me.

"Yeah," he says with a breath and his voice draws me in. I don't know what to say to that and an awkward silence falls between us. The awkward incidents always had to happen with me, but at least no one fell and cried their eyes out this time.

We both move to the side to leave, but we end up right back in front of each other. He laughs and I still can't look up.

"You go left and I'll go right," I follow what he says despite knowing that it won't get us anywhere. I don't find myself complaining.

"Oh." That's all he says and I feel a small smile cross my face with how it sounded.

"Let's both go right," I suggest.

"What about left?" I get confused and he obviously noticed.

"If we both go right what happens to the left? If you avoid the second option, we'll miss something that you can't turn back to. You can do as you want, but what if I go left anyway? What happens then?" Strangely, I'm not freaked out. Maybe just scared again, but that doesn't seem to be very different from the other.

I don't know what led to that kind of thought, but my answer is immediate, "...we end up back where we started."

The urge to leave comes back and I still haven't looked up, I slide past him and start walking away, speeding up my steps. I swear I see that cat again as I hear in my head; if you end up going that way, is what you'll find at the end of the road the truth? But in a way, it doesn't feel like it's directed towards me. 

I can feel the man's eyes leave traces on my back; I don't want to look back, but I do anyway. His gaze meets my eyes and he smiles. It reminded me of Kyungsoo - a dark, but deep shade of burnt umber.

A profound colour indeed.

"Baekhyun's back!!" I hear Sehun yell as he drags me into the room, but it's only us and Jongdae.

I got worried seeing that Yixing and Luhan aren't there. It feels like Chanyeol all over again. I don't wamna lose anymore of them.

"Shouldn't you be with Luhan around now?"

"I would, but he's kinda busy right now." he replies, but it's different. I don't know why or how, but it is. It's the first time I've noticed that Sehun has a problem.

There's a lot of things Sehun likes to hide from people. You could say that he would hide things like your wallet or car keys to freak you out if you forgot them somewhere, so you would learn your lesson. He was immature, but he wasn't absent minded. Nothing passed by Sehun's eyes without being seen and it was frightening. He was so attentive and knew things about people that you wouldn't normally notice. Sehun was the one who was good at reading people, not me or anyone else for that matter.

"Hey, is there something bothering you Baekhyun hyung?" he never addressed me like that. He only talked to Luhan like that.

"No." I wanted to say yes. It goes silent again.

I knew something was wrong and I tried to open my mouth to say something, but it never came, because I was cut off by a scrawny man tackling me to the ground.

"Get off, Jongdae!" I hiss, trying to get him off me myself since I know he won't do it anyway. Just saying things in the heat of the moment, you know?

The position we were in was extremely uncomfortable and I bet Sehun would be having a jolly good time watching right now. Knowing him, he wasn't gonna help me up anyway; he would rather join in on the 'fun.'

"Say uncle~" If you had me put what I was feeling into words at that exact moment it would be: Done.

"No." It had to be the pride talking, but I still caught the look that crossed Jongdae's face when he hears me. His smile faltered for a moment but quickly crawled it's way back onto his face. I don't know why, but I felt like something was different in my tone this time.

There was alot of things different about me now.

"We should all go buy some bubble tea! Come on~ I'll even pay, how's that sound?" Sehun says it too quickly for it to be normal. That and he doesn't really offer to pay, because Sehun is the youngest and must be taken care of (his words, not mine). He even pulls Jongdae and I up by the arms and drags us off. I even forget that Yixing wasn't here, but I could hear Luhan talking to someone in the other room. He didn't join us; Sehun never made a move to ask him either.

I didn't figure out or even get to ask what it was about, but Sehun did. Especially after Luhan disappeared for three days and came back like he didn't leave at all, it became even more suspicious to me. I saw Yixing going about his business from time to time, but I never actually got to see him like I would any other day. He came back the same day Luhan did. I knew it wasn't my place to ask (and I didn't), but just having Sehun look uneasy made me feel the same. I didn't know why, but seeing the mask he made slowly crumble had to mean something was wrong. Sometimes, Sehun wasn't really Sehun.

Mysteries and secrets were something no one liked to share. We were friends, but there really wasn't any trust. That may not be what friends are if you think about it, but we were always there for each other in one way or another. When something was wrong or off, someone would eventually notice and it would be solved. The only problem was: not eveyone did and in the end, no one really cared.

It's sad. We can be there for each other, but it wasn't always genuine. It was like each of us were obligated to do it whether we liked it or not. I personally did. I wanted to help them and I wanted to be there, but I'm not some counselor or psychiatrist. I don't plan to be either, I would like to avoid as much schooling as possible now. Not that school is a bad thing, it's just not my cup of tea anymore.

Just like I wished, I forgot about it by the time the sun rose for a new day.

Saturday came around just as fast as what I could forget in a night. Surprisingly, I didn't have anything to do; it was strange, because I've been swamped with things to do and had the option of trying new things along the way for the past few weeks. Today, however, I felt like doing nothing. I could be a couch potato, order some pizza, and binge watch a bunch of shows until I pass out from overeating and  being tired. Or I could be a vampire and sleep in all day, just to make some weird noises when I open the curtains later. Both sounded like something I could all day. After all, that is what I used to do anyway.

Still in bed, I picked at the furs on my teddy bear, finding myself reading the tag around it's neck, "Evanescence...huh?" I mutter. I get up and it's funny really. Just a few days ago, I was like a completely new person, someone who was happy again, but now obviously isn't the case. I was back to square one, back to where I started in the first place.

After getting dressed and freshening up, I walk over to the nearest bus stop. It was one I would commonly use through high school and into university. I do know how to drive - both before and now - but I felt like I needed to use the bus today. I didn't want to wear anything too fancy since I just wanted to go pick up the box and come back home (and maybe become a vampire combined with a couch potato).

The bus doesn't stop by our old apartment, so I had to get off by the nearest area and walk the rest of the way, which does include having to pass by that alleyway again. Easily making my way down town (down the street), walking fast, faces past, and I reach the front door yet again. I hesitated this time though, because after this, I won't have any connection to Chanyeol anymore other than the band. But he left them in the end too.

I decided to keep the key this time, because I don't want someone to figure out where it is and take it. When I say that I'm talking about alleyway man, or maybe woman - either way I'm still paranoid about it. I slip the key into my back pocket after opening the door, and head straight for the living room.

The box is still sitting on the table, left untouched from the last time I came here. 'You only came back for the box, nothing else,'  went through my head. So that's what I do - I pick it up and walk out the door, kicking it closed. I set it down (I could have done that in the first place now that I think about it) and lock the door with the key. I go home right after that.

I surprisingly forgot about the alleyway too.

Resting against the front of my couch, I opened it immediately, dumping it all on the living room floor. It wasn't filled with anything special, just old memories that could be traced to forgotten mementos. Movies we used to watch together, unfinished music pieces and old albums, couple accessories, photographs, and even the books we liked to read and recite in the middle of the night when we couldn't sleep were all here. You could even say that our whole relationship was in that box. It was a connection that could be worn out and abandoned. 

Seeing it made me want to throw it out when the garbage truck came by in a few days -  I didn't want it. I didn't want to be entrusted with the burden of our broken relationship. I didn't want to understand why Chanyeol had to give all this to me, he could have given me everything that I bought him just as I did three months ago. We could have just given each other what we owe to end it all.

'I'm such a hypocrite in the end.' I put everything back as neatly as I could and tucked it into an empty space at the back of my closet. It was like it was meant to be there.

I wanted to cry again just thinking about it, but I couldn't. It hurt, but it didn't make me as sad or depressed as it did before. 

It's easy to grasp the fact that world moves on whether you like it or not, and if you don't follow, you'll get left behind, but it was hard to do. I couldn't afford that, no one could. Chanyeol figured that out way before I did.

I knew that I didn't deserve anything more after asking for so much, but my questions that remained unanswered drowned my thoughts. Forgetting that time doesn't stop for superficial things, I filled that empty void inside myself with his memories.

I couldn't forget that and my mask was found.

Author's Note:

:D Sorry~

Hi. (party pooper *I KNOW YOU DELETED THIS*)