"I always thought that the wind was vindictive . . ." is what Baekhyun said when he tried to remember.

Laying here, engulfed in darkness. The only source of light was the moon and the room lay still, except the pure white curtains that were gently fluttering. Nights like these were the only time I could be alone. The soft wind drifting into my room always calmed me down - it was what comforted me through everything and anything. It reminded me of him, always moving and always changing. Even so, I grew to appreciate it. The cold unbearable winter, the vigorous blossoms of spring, the falling stars in the nights of summer, and the haunting shadows that were contained in autumn all had let me feel what love was with him. 

Byun Baekhyun. My name is Baekhyun. I knew how to crack a joke here and there, but I always hid my feelings with a smile. Baekhyun, the funny one. Baekhyun, the person everyone wanted to be friends with. Baekhyun, the one who never got close to anyone. Baekhyun, the one who lost sight of who he was.

I didn't know what to do with myself for such a long time. I had my family and the few people who I actually considered as my friends. I thought that I could find home in them. A place I could feel wanted and more importantly, loved. But I don't have anyone anymore. I never really did.

Lies. They were all I ever heard. Over the twenty-three years of my life, I've fallen in love, been loved, and faced more anniversaries and breakups than you could ever imagine. You could even call me desperate at this point. It ended up being a way of coping for me. But most of all, I've experienced so many betrayals.

Time and time again. I wanted to live in redamancy, but it never mattered in the end. They always left. He always left. I could never find someone good enough. Someone who could teach me about the world and leave me wanting more. I always had less. I never had something I deserved.

So I stopped. I started to "love" just to fill that hollow feeling inside. I didn't want any of them. No matter how many of them I dated, it never felt right. It became a bad habit that I couldn't break. Wishes desired without hesitation, fleeting moments and feelings, promises that could have never been kept, touches made out of neediness, and their presence was only needed so that my lonely and empty feeling would fade away, like how the warm sun had melted the cold snow. It looked like I was the one using people and playing with their feelings, but it felt like they were using me. I couldn't let go of my regrets and nothing was the same anymore. 

But then I met him.

We liked so many different things; our tastes in music were the biggest ones. He loved rock and roll, but I loved singing ballads. We both lived for music and it was the way we expressed ourselves. It created a strong, unbreakable bond between us. Different genres, but the same intentions. We would spend time together writing lyrics and making little tunes every week. He offered me the world, but for once in my life, I told him that I already had one. I heard a saying like that before, and it became something so vague to me that all I needed were the stars in the night, the cold wind, and his voice.  

Society was always against us. Everyone was always against me. I was never accepted in the first place, but he taught me what it meant to be wanted because I was loved. I was loved by him and I always thought that love could conquer anything, but I was wrong. I was wrong about so many things and I could never correct those mistakes, but how could something like this be a mistake when it felt so right? I'm just a fool whose heart only knew him. After being hollowed out by the winter wind, all that was left was him.

His name was Park Chanyeol.