Second Guesses

By: mayangel

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 408

Pairings: Chen/D.O., Chen/Baekhyun

Warnings: slight violence, mention of blood

Note: First part here

Apart from school, the gang doesn’t meet much anymore.

They still walk back in pairs for protection, but they don’t have official meetings anymore—meaning no parties, no friendly skirmishes, no video game tournaments that last into early morning.

But gang fights—there are still those, but it’s not for fun anymore. It’s not a friendly competition; there are serious grudges involved. The switchblades are out for blood, and the fists are searching for bone.

It’s like when Baekhyun died, the fun died as well. With Baekhyun, there was laughter and promise. Or maybe they associate it with his memory.

They rotate pairs weekly, but Kyungsoo usually ends up with Jongdae because they live the closest together. There was a time when Jongdae would take his hand and swing it between them, smiling eye-catchingly bright. And then there was Baekhyun, with a laugh that could be everywhere and nowhere at the same time, fitting comfortably between them and in Jongdae’s heart.

It’s wrong to think negatively about a dead person, and it’s impossible to hate Baekhyun, but Kyungsoo hates the fact that he never had a chance, then or now.

It’s okay when Jongdae slams him into the lockers, when he pushes Kyungsoo to the ground. It’s easy to get used to things, the way he still expects Baekhyun to naturally appear and fit in their life again like he’d never left. That’s not the only reason, Kyungsoo knows, but it’s easier to pretend.

It’s easier to pretend that he’s fine than to admit to the nightmares that still plague him at night.

The chill still creeps down his spine when they walk past the place—the site where Baekhyun had died, soaking in a puddle of his own blood and surrounded by five guys with weapons in their hands.

Kyungsoo had been half-conscious, hiding in a corner. That’s where his gang had found him later—and where they found Baekhyun’s lifeless body.

The gang, especially Jongdae, had been looking for someone to blame, so Kyungsoo had let them blame him. Maybe he deserves it—he had been the one to crawl away as the five guys had jumped them. They had only really been after Baekhyun, anyway, having mistaken him for Junmyeon. Kyungsoo still remembers the “Suho” spat into the puddle of blood, the hatred that had infect their veins.

So it’s okay for Jongdae to take as much as he wants. After all, Kyungsoo knows that he was hurt the most.

Foreword

mayangel