HOLDING ON Part 2

It has been a whole year since their break up. A lot has happened since then.

So as to commemorate the dreaded anniversary, Jaejoong went to the place they first met. He had hoped it could lessen the burden on his chest. He thought that it would lessen the longing within his heart.

But what a terrible mistake it was.

Everywhere he turned, he could only see her. He was pathetic.

“May I take your order, sir?”

He looked up from his menu to stare at the boy who was waiting for his reply. He had wanted to strangle the innocent young lad just for the sake of it. He had been around that age when he had first known her. If he could turn back time, he would make sure to warn his young self of a lot of things.

Perhaps he could tip this boy with a few useful advices so that he wouldn’t end up like him.

He showed the boy what he wanted from the menu. When the boy left, he returned to his pathetic self yet again.

Should he stop? It seemed that none of his efforts had worked. It had been a whole year. A whole year… If they were married, they could’ve had a child.

But then again, he doubted if they would ever get to that phase.

Just last month, he’d seen her with another guy. They were kissing. The guy had his arms wrapped around her waist and she had hers around his neck. His instincts wanted to punch the lights out of that bastard then. Only he should have the right to hold her like that.

But he did nothing. Instead of running over to teach the bastard a lesson, he took a step back and completely disappeared within the shadows. He couldn’t bear to look. He had made a promise to allow her the privacy, to not mess with her life again. While he had constantly breached the verbal agreement, he felt that he had to honour it this time around. This was too personal for him to barge himself into.

Yes. Stupid. Pathetic.

He had stopped following her altogether since then. Although he still sends over gifts every week, he doubts it made any impact now. His heart was still holding on, but perhaps it was time to truly grant her space. It was time to stop.

He knew how it felt to be in love with someone. And because he loves her with all his being, he was willing to finally let her go.

All he wanted is for her to be happy.

***

She stared at the bracelet presented in front of her.

“Happy two-month, Yeonie,” the man in front of her grinned, waiting for her reaction to his expensive gift.

She was instead, speechless. The bracelet was the exact same one that came in the mail just last week. And she had thrown it away. How could she possibly accept this one gift without being reminded of the other?

“Yeonie? Are you all right?” The kneeling man stood up with concern. “You look pale.”

He discarded the jewelry box on the table and took her hands in his. He waited for her to speak.

“I’m sorry,” she coughed softly, hiding her face while she composed her features. “It’s nothing. I was just surprised. Very surprised. That must’ve been really expensive.”

The guy grinned and took out the bracelet from the velvet box. “Don’t worry about how much it costs. For you, everything is worth it.” He clasped the chains together and admired how the diamonds sparkled prettily against her fair skin.

She was choking on air, but didn’t let it show.

They had only known each other for two months, and he was already giving her all sorts of ideas that she wasn’t ready for.

He was going on too fast.

“I saw this at the shop a few days ago and I just knew it would be perfect on you,” he smiled.

She didn’t know any other way to reply, so she smiled back.

“Do you like it?”

“Y-yes. It’s really pretty. Thank you.”

His smile only widened. “If you like this one, just wait until your birthday. I have something better prepared for you. Your birthday is next month, am I right?”

She was kind of surprised. She never told him that before. “How did you know?”

“Well, I have my sources. Just wait, you’ll like it even more.”

At the reminder that her birthday was nearing, her heart involuntarily clenched. Glancing at the bracelet around her wrist, she wondered what he would send to her in the mail by then.

Last year’s gift had been a brand new grand piano. It was huge it was so hard to get rid of. But it was such a wonderful gift too if only the circumstances had been different. He understood her passion for music so well.

Without her realizing, drops of tears started falling down her flushed cheeks.

There was a soft chuckle. “I didn’t know that you could be moved to tears by such gesture,” her new boyfriend spoke in amusement.

If only the guy knew what the tears really meant.

***

She peered outside the window to check on the mailman. He was late, she noted. It was already two in the afte