HOLDING ON Part 10

JaeJoong stared at his bowl of cereal, not really seeing. The contents of his bowl were already turning soggy. It has been nearly an hour but he was not yet done with breakfast.

His thoughts were troubled. For the past few months, his company had been under considerable disturbance. Ever since he dismissed Jennifer as the company's CFO, she had been getting back at him using her connections. He did his best to protect the company, but it seems that her grudge was endless.

His grip on the spoon tightened at each thought of that spiteful woman.

Had this been the reason why he had let women get their way with him in the past? So that they won't mess up with other parts of his life?

He laughed after some thought. Of course not. If letting women do however they pleased with him could get him out of trouble, then why is he not happily married to the woman he loves? Stupid. Kim JaeJoong is pathetic.

It seems that he was destined to live a miserable life. No happiness. No loved ones. He should just die and disappear from the world. Perhaps everyone would be happier if he was gone. No one really cared about him anyway, not in the way that HyeoYeon once had.

His grip on the spoon loosened as it fell onto the bowl, causing a tiny splash where it met with the surface of the milk. He slumped onto the table, hiding his face with his arms. Slowly, tears fell from the corner of his eyes as the regret flushed over him again. He had never imagined that he could ruin his own life to this extent. Each damage that occurred was all thanks to his own doing. No one else had helped him along the way. He grandly crushed his own world himself.

Pathetic Kim JaeJoong, congratulations.

Even after years since HyeoYeon broke their engagement, he was still wearing the ring. That was the extent of how pathetic he was. He wasn't trying to be wishful, but he really hoped that things will take on a better turn if only he held on and endured a little longer. In the least, he hoped that HyeoYeon would want to meet him again, even as only friends. Everyday he prayed that their paths will cross again one day, and HyeoYeon would want to look into his eyes once more. He wanted her to see how he has really changed for the better. He wanted her to see that he has really changed for her.

If only he had three wishes.

He grunted angrily, stood up from the stool he had been sitting on and marched towards the balcony to get some fresh air. He needed to calm his heart down.

***

"Will you marry me?"

He was kneeling beside her by the dinner table, his nervous fingers holding onto a beautifully sparkling diamond ring. She couldn't have responded better except by gaping wide and turning speechless. HyeoYeon had momentarily stopped functioning.

"Yeonnie..." JaeJoong's voice was laced with uncertainty and self-doubt. He had given his all in courting her, much much more than he had done any of his female acquaintances. He wanted no one else but her.

She blinked for a second and gulped. "Is this real? Are you serious? I thought your bride was supposed to be someone chosen by your family."

"Well, you see-"

"Wait. Are you trying to pull a prank on me? You can stop now because it's not funny."

"It's not-"

"I guess it's time for us to stop this boyfriend-girlfriend game, huh?" she stood up abruptly. "Well, now that I think about it, it's better this way anyway. At the end of the day you will marry someone else anyway. We might as well put a stop to this right now." She was about ready to leave.

"Kang HyeoYeon!" He stood up and caught onto her arms tight before she could go any further. People around them started staring. "This is not a game! And I am very much serious."

Somehow, his tone of voice made her want to laugh. 

"I love you."

But that made her stop.

"I love you so much. I want you to marry me, please."

There was a momentary silence where both of them just stared into each other. Not long after, she raised her arm up high, ready to strike. It was over quick, but the sting lasted. She had slapped him square on his left cheek.

"What do you really want from me!?" she demanded angrily, tears threatening to fall. "Do you think you can fool me like those girls you used to date? Do you think I am that easy to buy into such cheap confession? Do you think I'm stupid?"

He was shocked to say the least. Here he was, pouring his heart out to the one he loves. Yet his sincerity didn't shine through just because he used to be a popular ladies' man. Well, to be honest, he still is. But that wasn't the point then.

"Everyone knows your marriage will be arranged by your family, JaeJoong," she continued. "So quit the act, will you?"

"I'm not acting," JaeJoong defended himself.

Suddenly, another voice came from behind her, softly saying, "That's right