Kris’s face up close is in one word: gorgeous. 

His eyes are deep pools of chocolate brown. His skin is fair and smooth. His hair is styled up and swept to the side, making him look like a model. 

And his scent, I recognize it. From my secret outings to a little store with big, golden letters. The virile smell of Gucci 'Guilty pour Homme' Eau de Toilette. One of my absolute favorites. It is a lovely combination of fresh lavender paired with spicy hints of sage and pepper, while a tobacco base brings forth the dry notes of cedar wood. 

I felt all my senses being overwhelmed and my tummy fluttering with butterflies. Is this how a crush feels like? It felt nice, really nice. Making me feel all fuzzy and warm inside. 

And oh dear, my face is heating up. Plus the fact that I’m pretty sure he could see it him being right in front of my face which was even more embarrassing and completely obvious of my part.

“I can take it from here, Kris” I say, patting his hand, trying hard to downplay my nerves. 

Thankfully, he doesn’t push the matter further and nods. Kris retracts his hand quickly as if being shocked. He goes in to his bag once more and brings out a new tissue.  I gratefully accept it without looking at him. 

My finger has stopped bleeding and it gives me a perfect excuse to focus on something else rather than kris’s imposing figure over me and his beautiful face. Hopefully, I didn't make things awkward, I mean it's awkward as it is right now and we haven’t even started.

“Um..now that the unfortunate mishap is resolved...we could um go over something...you know like reviewing some stuff..” Way to go Zitao. How eloquently stated that was. 

Kris only coughs in response. 

I arch my neck a bit to see Kris’s eyes crinkling, a twinkling gleam in his eyes. He was making fun of me!

“It’s not funny, Kris” My face probably resembles a tomato now. Here I have a potential crush and me making a fool out of myself in front of him. And now he is laughing at me!

--------

Tao, unlike Sunsun, acts naturally childish. 

I’m not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing. 

I don’t normally have to deal with situations like this. I can just shove off Sunsun and she’ll sulk but eventually bounce back. But this kid, I feel like I’ll hurt his feelings.

Not that I care about him. There is a difference between caring and getting what you want. I don’t want to lose whatever potential friendship there is to grow between us. Sunsun is on one side and Tao is on the other. 

This is my future at stake. Any slight error, Tao will fall out of my grasp and I cannot risk that. 

But Tao getting worked up and turning red was kinda funny. Hilarious actually. I can only cough to cover up the rising laughter in my chest. Tao, being the perceptive kid he is, catches on quickly and lashes out. At least that’s what I think he is attempting to do.

“It’s not funny, Kris.” He crosses his arms and has a petulant expression.

“I’m not making fun of you, Tao. Don’t do that your face. You like a chipmunk.” I poke on one of his cheeks. He honestly looked like a kid whose favorite toy was taken away. 

“Come on. Instead of studying, I’ll take you somewhere. My treat, ok?”

Tao perks up but deflates quickly. “But we have an micro exam tomorrow. Don’t we need to study?”

This kid can not take a hint, jeez. “Tao, I think we both know with that brain of yours, you don’t need to study” I deadpan.  “And anyways I don't know if you have heard but I’m known as quite the genius around here.” I add, winking. 

“Um... I see. Thank you for the compliment, Kris. I..uh..knew that you were smart too. I guess we could go somewhere and wind down a bit for tomorrow’s test.And maybe I am hungry. I mean I am.” 

“Excellent. How do you feel about dining at King’s Joy?” I raise my phone, dialing up a cab. 

Tao squeaks out a yes.

--------

Chinese New Year was on its way and it meant Yifan was gone for almost a year.

It irked Luhan to no end that nothing was ever found about Yifan or his whereabouts. 

And yes, he took all the necessary precautions. He did flyers (and wasted a ton of money), asked almost the whole neighborhood, and even went to the police.

He pleaded with them and presented all of Yifan’s documents. They said they would look into it and Luhan firmly believed they would do something.

His belief went go down the drain once he realized the police simply didn’t care. They didn’t give a damn that his brother was missing. They didn’t care that his mother was wasting away. They just didn't. Period.

Was it because he was poor? That they didn’t take him seriously since in their eyes, he was nothing but the typical blue-collar worker? The one that gets the minimum wage and wasn’t regarded as important?

Sometimes he likes to think that people are just too busy and have other things to do. But do the police have an excuse? No. They don’t. They are there to serve the ing community dammit. 

He remembered the kind, young man from Starbucks. His name was still etched into his mind. Zitao was his name. He wished more people were like him. 

Truth is, there are more people out there who are focused in trying to stab each other’s backs and Luhan was getting tired of it. 

Maybe this is what Yifan felt. Rage at not being listened at, being ignored simply because he was poor. Not getting things done because he didn’t have the means to. 

I get you now, brother. Nobody wants to help me and I don’t know what to do. Luhan sighs for the umpteenth time, looking at the wall in front of him. The white paint was cracking. Everything was falling apart. 

He secretly had set up for an appointment at the local hospital to check up on ma. No regrets he told himself when he dialed the number. Ma is the number one priority in his life. The only one he lives for.

Ma was sleeping again. She had stopped working. She used to wash dishes down in a small, fast-food restaurant. It wasn't till Luhan convinced her to stop, that ma quit working. 

In the back of his mind, Luhan wished Yifan wasn’t going through what he was going through. Even if Yifan was disappointing in his actions, Yifan was not a bad kid. He was just misguided and was too ambitious. Hopefully, his rash decisions didn't land him back to square one. 

--------

"Kris, this place is amazing!" Tao happily digs in his Sautéed matsutake and celtis leaf, a dish consisting of meaty mushrooms, asparagus and braised medallions of silky tofu. "I didn't know vegetarian food tasted this delicious."

"I'm glad you are enjoying yourself." And I'm glad you are falling deeper in to my hands. 

"So tell me more about yourself Tao. What do you like? What are your interests?"

Tao chews for a while more, contemplating what he's going to say. "Well to start off, I'm an only child and live with my parents and my nainai. I live close to the university, so sometimes I take the train and go home. But sometimes I like staying here because the noise distracts me and my home is so quiet. It gets lonely sometimes." He says the last statement more to himself. 

"So what about your parents? What do they do?"

"My parents own a construction company. They help out their clients with the design plans and then have their workers build whatever the clients have in mind."

"That's interesting. So do you plan to inherit their company one day?"

Tao shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "I don't know. I mean I don't want to disappoint them but at the same time I want to do what I want. Finances sound interesting or something in that field. Or working with children. I like kids a lot."

"Enough of my rambles. You must be tired hearing from me. So what about you, Kris?"

I’m stumped. I didn’t expect the quick turn of tables. “I—I come from Canada. Yeah, I came to Beijing early as a child and don’t remember much prior to that.”

“Wow. Really? I’ve never been out of the country. Do your parents travel alot?”

Ma and Luhan? As if. They don’t exist in my life anymore. “Sadly, my parents passed away and I was raised by my nanny. I don’t really remember their faces.” I poke at my food and try to look melancholic.

“Oh Kris, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have pried.” Tao genuinely looks anguished. His anguish wasn't necessary. I hate pity. 

“No, no. It’s fine. It was a long time ago anyways. I moved on to a new chapter in my life.” 

And if it means shutting them down, so be it. Tao doesn’t need to know where I come from.

A/N: You guys with crushes will understand. There this kid I like who smells absolutley amazinnngg. He smells fresh like water, soap, and shampoo and something else. I can't describe it. There is legit science behind this. Something called pheremones. Ugh he's so beautiful. him.