“YOU DID WHAT?!”

Luhan immediately stands in front of me to separate me from ma. “Bro, chill. It’s not ma’s fault she quit her job. That bastard of her boss wasn’t paying her! She had the right—”

I look at my brother in disbelief. “Had the right? You honestly believe that? That’s just an excuse! She’s obviously couldn’t keep her job because she’s an incompetent worker.” I give ma a hard glare over his shoulder.  “First she lets us down as a mother now she loses her job for being inept. She just gets worse and worse” I sneer. 

It takes every ounce of my willpower not to completely lose it. I can’t even look at her. She’s ing despicable. She let us down once again. It’s the same cycle. Time after time after time.

Luhan sensing my growing anger, grabs me by the shoulders and tries to reassure me, “It’s ok! I found a job at the retail store downtown and it pays more than ma’s job. Think about that for a moment. It all works out nicely so let us please stop fighting.” His eyes dart back and forth between ma and I. His words did not mitigate my anger. It only made me angrier. 

Before I can open my mouth to retort back, ma beats me to it. “Don't worry baby. Yifan just doesn’t understand the struggles I go through everyday just to keep his ungrateful sheltered under a roof!” Ma looks at me with such hatred in her eyes that could kill but it doesn't work with me. Not anymore. I had it with her and her cheap excuses. 

“Fine then! You might as well kick me out. Then you will live happier with your favorite son! Forget about me. Who cares about poor ungrateful Yifan anyways! You know what never mind. I’ll leave right now. Can’t be an inconvenience now, can I?”

Before anyone stops me, I slam my bedroom door open and grab my hard-earned money under the mattress. I grab all the clothes I own and stuff it in my duffel bag. My acceptance letter and money also go in. That’s it. After all I don’t own much because I’m too damn poor. 

Luhan barges in and glances at the almost empty bedroom. “You were serious? Yifan come on. Quit being childish. Ma and I still want you here. She didn’t mean those words she said back there,” he pleads.

“Look at yourself, begging me to stay. You quit being childish and pathetic. I expected better of you Luhan but you just up whatever lie ma tells you. It sickens me. And anyways I have no reason to be here anymore.”

“What are you talking about? We are family Yifan! Family sticks together through thick and thin no matter what. So please just stay,” he attempts to reach out for my arm.

I shove him off and rummage for my personal hygiene items. “Yifan. Why are you dong this?” he asks softly. No answer. “Yifan?”

“Luhan. I want you to get this straight to your head. We are not family and I’m not your brother. I’m merely a half.”

“...I...what? I don't understand. What do you mean, di?”

Squaring my shoulders, I look at him, “Why don't you ask our dear mother, hmm?”

I notice Luhan stiffen before he jabs a pointed finger hard in my chest. “I get that you are tired of living this lifestyle, di. I am too. All of us are. However I do not tolerate you throwing false accusations of ma in the air like that. You can act all high and mighty with people outside but inside this house, here we respect one another, Yifan. I’m sure your big head can grasp that simple concept, right?”

this. “And I’m sure that you can grasp that I don’t want to.”

Not giving a single glance back, I storm through the door and head to the nearest motel. 

Ma and my dear half-brother can go screw themselves.

--------

Luhan was dumbfounded. 

Everything happened so fast that he didn’t have time to react. Not to Yifan’s sudden departure, not to the fact that he was no longer in this room, and most certainly not to that confession.

But was it true? Yifan couldn’t be. He looks like him for crying out loud! He was obviously bluffing just to mess with his head. One thing was for sure though, Yifan was insane or stupid. Or both.

Granted his brother wasn’t always like that. Back when they were kids, he smiled more, laughed more, loved more. But ever since he entered high school, it’s like he snapped and shed the old-loving Yifan to become a closed, self-centered Yifan. The reason to him is still unknown.

“Luhan? A-are you ok?”

Jolted out of his thoughts, he turns around to find his mother with tear streaks down her face. She  stands in the doorway looking smaller than before and her shaking hands are clasped together tightly.

“Oh ma. I should be the one asking you that.” He walks over and engulfs her into a tight hug. “He’s at it again. This time he went overboard though. Don’t worry ma. He’s gonna drag his sorry back by tomorrow.”

His words sounded calming to his ears, however to his mother it was not. In fact, it seemed to work the opposite for she was crying harder.

Alarmed, Luhan pulls back and asks, “What’s wrong? Ma, please don't worry. Yifan, I believe, is just plain tired. Tired of something I don’t know of and its eating him inside. But he's tough as nails.. and hurts like one too..so lets keep our heads up and hope for the best.”

“I-i k..know!! What if..what if h-he doesn't come back? And its all m-my fault too! He wouldn't have..he wouldn't have left b-bbut I had to run my stupid mouth again and now he’s g-gone!”

Ugh, curse Yifan and his babyish ways. He needs Jesus. 

--------

Ma fell asleep right after her discussion with Luhan. 

Luhan on the other hand could not sleep. He kept pacing around the kitchen in circles. There were so many questions running through his mind. So what if Yifan was truly telling the truth? It wouldn't change his unwavering love for his mom at all. If he was going to be honest though, he felt a bit hurt his mother didn't tell him the truth, that is if Yifan wasn't lying. And then there was the million dollar question: should he ask ma about what Yifan meant? 

Ma’s not ready at the moment, he reaffirms himself. She needs to rest and definitely have more packages of tea.

His idiot of brother has something going on with him too. Him leaving hurt more than expected. It was a punch to the gut, an immense pain stabbing his heart. Love hurts, he sighed. Luhan truly missed his sore loser of a brother. But what was going on with Yifan? Perhaps he saw...no. His father was gone. Just ashes in the wind. Luhan personally didn’t know who his father was but he was never curious. If the man left, he left them with the intention of never seeing them again. Luhan thinks the same way. He doesn't care nor desires to see his face ever. 

Aya, this was turning into a badly made k-drama and the plotline keeps on getting worse. One character gone, who will be the next?

Like hell its gonna be me, he shakes his head. Ma needs me and I will stay.

Yifan can go screw himself.