A tumor. The doctor said it was a high grade tumor. A grade III, secondary glioblastoma to be specific. 

The tumor was slow-growing. The doctor told her it was highly malignant and treatments such as chemotherapy and radiation might help. ‘Might’ being the keyword. But it didn’t take away from the fact that she was dying, plain and simple. 

The doctor told her yes, indeed she was dying. Was their time to salvage the tumor from going to grade IV, the highest grade a cancerous tumor can likely grow and spread? Possibly. The doctor said it was late but if they acted now, they could extract some of the tumor and proceed with the treatment.

Money is the problem. Surgery and treatment is expensive. And honestly wasn’t worth it, if she was half-way with holding hands with death.  

“We got some mail, Ma!” Luhan shuffles through the letters. His expression falls slightly. “Bummer. All of them bills.” And nothing from Yifan. Of course, that was left unsaid as Yifan was a delicate subject. Nonetheless, there was always some false hope lingering. “Hey, there is something from the hospital.”

Ma stiffens. The hospital, the tumor, the results. Crap, she should have been more careful. “Give it to me, Luhan.” 

Luhan was halfway through opening the letter so her words came deaf to his ears. Time stood still for ma. She carefully watches his expression, watching for any hint of surprise or shock. Anything really.

“Oh my Buddha.” What Luhan? What? she wanted to ask.

“Luhan I can explain—” She receives a wary, concerned gaze in return, cutting her off. 

“Hospital bill came to a total of 1500 yuan.” Oh, that was it. Ma’s relief is temporary when she realizes that there is not enough money to pay the hospital bill. They barely had enough to pay the bill every month. 

Luhan had recently gotten a credit card. Seeing it as it was time to have one, as a working adult, ma specifically told him to use it for emergencies only. They couldn't afford to spend it lavishly. Interest rates were high and with one member of the family contributing, everything had to be carefully thought out. 

They could get a loan. Luhan would have to pay every month from his pocket plus interest. Ma would die before he payed it off. No way was she going to Luhan do all the work. But how? Where could she find work? Go back to the fast food place washing dishes? They probably found another dish washer already.

Pessimistic thoughts whirled around her head. If only she was stronger, more healthier, things could have turned out differently. 

Two, cool fingers spread the scrunching skin on her forehead. “Ma, your frowny lines are going to get deeper if you think anymore. Chill, we have time. I’ll find out a way.” 

“Luhan I think...I think I have to work again, ok? Temporarily of course” she hastily added seeing Luhan beginning to shake his head in disagreement.

“Ma, no. You’re sick! You barely have strength to do anything. I can do it. Just finish your breakfast and I will think things over at work.”

Ma jabs her fried eggs in retaliation. “You find me weak. That’s it right? That this poor, old lady can’t do anything?”

Luhan shrinks back, looking like a scolded child. “Come on ma, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just that right now things are different.”

“I tell you what Luhan. I will work outside, selling...selling food. Yeah, food. Our neighbors do it and they do with their comforts of their home.” She grabs his hands. “It’s a good idea, yes?”

Luhan has to admit, its not a bad idea entirely. Ma would be close to home and Luhan can ask his neighbors (secretly) to keep an eye out for her. 

He nods slowly, mulling over the possibilities in his head. “I guess this could work. I still would have to take out a loan of course. These bills here,” He points to the small stack on the table, “have to be payed off first. They are priority.” Or else they would get kicked out. 

Ma agrees. “So the MRI scan would the bill the loan pays for.” Luhan nods again.

Checking the time on the clock over their tiny refrigerator, Luhan gobbles his breakfast and runs for his jacket. 

The poor child always runs late, ma muses. She stops the running Luhan and gives him the jacket which was lying over the kitchen chair. “We’ll discuss this matter later.”

With a kiss on her cheek, Luhan flies through the door.

--------

Throughout the New Year week, ma and ba did not come back. I decided to take matters into my own hands and on the last day, I invited Kris over. Nainai was pleased I had found someone and prepared the best New Year dishes. 

Kris was the prefect gentleman as usual. His mannerisms, his grace, his... everything in general. I knew from then on I was smitten. Completely smitten with my new found friend. 

When the door bell rang, I bolted from my room and swung the door open. Dressed in a crisp, white button up and khakis, Kris was all smiles. He greeted me with an enthusiastic “Hi Tao!” and entered. In his hand, I noticed, was a bag of fruits. 

Nainai came out from the kitchen and welcomed Kris in. She graciously accepted the gift and set them on the table. My mind still hadn't fully registered the Kris was in my living room. 

“Taotaoer, are you going to stand there all night or eat with us?”

After he left that night, nainai sat down on the couch with her usual cup of jasmine tea. I was dying to hear her thoughts on Kris. Naturally, I sat down next to her and and importuned her with questions. 

“Isn’t Kris amazing? And handsome? He is super smart and has an amazing fashion sense and such lovely manners.”

Nainai sipped her tea and then set it down on the mahogany coffee table. “Taotaoer. What I get from all your simpering, is that you have a strong liking toward this young man.”

Her tone wasn’t exactly encouraging. Maybe she didn't like him after all. Maybe she doesn't like people who die their hair. 

“I...well, yes. I’d say it’s more like a puppy crush not a strong liking..yet.” The silence lingers. “Is it because of his blond hair?”

Nainai snorts into her tea. “I could care less of his colored hair. It’s a fad amongst the younger generation, correct?” 

“I guess so.”

Setting down her tea, Nainai answers, hesitant. “It’s just an odd feeling but something about Kris rubs me the wrong way.”

--------

Chinese New Year was great. More than great. I finally made it inside my little, naive friend’s house. 

Tao introduced me to his grandma, or nainai as he calls her. She was homely, doting on Zitao a lot, fussing about like any old lady. 

She equally fussed with me, telling me if I wanted more food that I go right ahead, that there was plenty to go around. Tao might be skinny but his appetite says otherwise. He eats for four people at least. Fast metabolism does wonders. 

Tao had me exclusively picked up by a private chauffeur. That kid was no joke when it concerns money. I, of course, humbly declined saying I needed no picking up but he insisted, practically begging. Like the nice guy I am, I couldn’t possibly say no.

Living in the high-end Chaoyang North Road, the driver dropped me off in front of a cream-colored apartment complex, no doubt high-end. Situated on the Chaoyang North Road, I expected no less. 

Entering was a wholly-different experience. The first thing I saw was the mirrors. The hallways had pieces of intricate mirror designs along its walls. The living room was something out of European interior-design magazine. A huge chandelier sparkled in the middle of the room, above the beige marble stone floor. Sleek, leather sofas lined around the fireplace. This was a place worthy of living, not some ratty like where I used to live. 

The dining room had a grand view of the garden outside. Fine dining at its finest. There was platters of food ranging from homemade fried dumplings, baked fish, hotpot, spring rolls, sweet rice balls, and a copious amount of peeled tangerines. 

To my misfortune, I didn’t get to see Tao’s room. But that’s for another day. After all, we are on friendly basis. 

“...Kris.” Sadly, it’s back to reality. Why does Econ have to be so boring?

“Kris!”

“What do you want Dawei. Quit disturbing the peace.” My wonderful daydream of living in grandeur. 

“Rigghtt. I bet you would feel the ‘peace’by staring into Zitao’s eyes.” He laughs.

What? When did I— “What are you talking about?” I furrow my eyes in confusion, questioning his suggestive tone.

“Kris don’t act stupid with me. The other day you literally stared into his eyes for a whole minute!”

--------

Stepping off the bus, Luhan is feeling good. Really good. Fantastic. 

Chatting with one of his co-workers, Luhan found out that Burberry inside the Sunshine Department Store was hiring. The best part: they needed a worker during the night. 

It worked perfectly since Luhan worked part-time during the day and his nights were free. 

“Maaa, guess who found a job?” Not yet exactly but Luhan is working on that. He is no slacker, no sir. Money is in demand. Remember, priorities. 

Shutting the door behind him, he gives a welcoming kiss on ma’s awaiting cheek. “That’s great, baby! Are you going to leave your other job then?”

Slipping off his work clothes for some comfty sweats, Luhan makes his way to the kitchen. Ma was already bustling around the tiny kitchen, warming up the day’s food. 

“Of course not. We still need to go to hospital and check those results again. I don’t take that bull story from the doctor that you have the flu. It’s something else. I feel it in my gut.”