I always enjoy dancing and singing, especially in our concert. I always make sure I do my best and less mistakes. I feel so frustrated when I have more mistakes than the right things, but not this time. We have our mini concert downtown and as usual I made a lot of mistakes, dance steps mistakes. I supposed to feel frustrated but I just can’t. That ‘KIM’ guy has something to do with my attitude today. I’m smiling like crazy that even my band mates feels scared at me. Well what can they do? The most awaited event of my life already happened unexpectedly. And it’s my birthday today. Earlier, when that “ thing “ is not yet happening, I already decided that after our concert I’ll throw a small party at my house but obviously I change my mind. I just wanna go home and think of him until I fell asleep.

Hours passed by and I realized our concert is done. We’re all heading to the backstage to change our clothes.

“ so, what’s the plan, Yesung?? Where at?” eunhyuk asked.

“ sorry to disappoint you guys. But can we celebrate tomorrow?. Tomorrow is our free day right? I feel so very tired tonight and I supposed you feel the same way.” I said, pretending my voice is so tired.

“ Yesung hyung’s right. I feel like I’m beaten up by some hulk outside. We can’t enjoy the night if we all feel tired.” Kyuhyun agreed to me.

“ ok, so it’s settled then! Let’s call it a night guys. Tomorrow we’ll be celebrating yesung’s birthday and attendance is a must.! So take care ok and straight home! Are we clear?”  leeteuk sounding a real leader.

“ ok! “ we answered in unison.

We all parted ways.

I let my body fall on the soft mattress of my bed. I don’t feel tired at all. I still have so many energy to spent thinking about him. A sly smile formed on my lips as I remembered his face when he turn his head slowly to us. Oh that awkward smile which makes my heart beats so fast. I rolled over the bed like I’m some kind of a high school girl thinking about her crush.

I can’t help but reminisce the first time we met.

(flashback 4 years ago)

It’s a boring day again and it’s killing me. Well what’s new? It’s vacation and I don’t prepare any plan. I  decided to surf on the net, watch some videos. I already spent 2 hours on surfing but still it’s boring. I’m thinking of going out to go shopping but it’s ing hot outside. I don’t feel like burning my skin outside just to get rid of the boredom I’m feeling right now. I was about to give up on surfing and turn off the laptop but an advertisement appeared on the screen just before I turn it off. It caught my attention because of the writings on it saying:

“ wanna have some fun or friend? Gay friend, I mean. You’re on the right track! This is the page that suits you ! click here.==>> . . . . . . . . . . “

I am already aware of my gender crisis and I’m not worried about that. Out of curiosity I click the page. I only want to take look. But an abrupt knock on my door startled me and I hurriedly memorize the website and close my laptop. I open the door with annoying face.

“ yow, dude! Busy!?” yeah right! Perfect ! the least person I wanna see today is in front of me.but since I’m bored to death today I’ll let them disturbed me today. Just TODAY! And maybe I’ll look on the page later it sounds interesting.

“ so what’s your plan today? Fishy?” I asked him with a smug look on my face.

“ yah ! don’t call him fishy,” oh right the monkey protector is here too.” You can call him nemo but not fishy! Be specific!,” he said as if he really said some sensible words. Eunhyuk the monkey and Donghae the fish, my neighbor and classmate the inseperable couple. I just look at them like I’m waiting for their answers. Donghae who gets what my look means answered.

“ well , nothing that you can’t take care  of. Let’s just play basketball.” He said.

“ ok then let’s go.”

We played for 4 hours with our neighbors in our age. Including  SIwon, Heechul, Leeteuk, Eunhyuk, Donghae, Kangin and Kibum.

I went home after we play and I feel so tired. I feel asleep without eating.

Few days have passed I totally forgot about the website but one boring day again make me remember it. I surf on the net and look for the website. I found it in  an instant and found many pictures of the boys posted on it. I look for the boys and as a result it is a failure. I