“So you’re not really dying and that cancer you’re talking is just a fraud?” Yixing said, the line of his eyebrows is nearly straight.

“Yes” Luhan sighed.

“You’re an you know that?”

“Yes” he admitted.

He doesn't want to lie but he had no choice. Minseok moved on and he can’t.He tried to move on, really…besides, he’s the one who left Minseok.

“You’re cruel, Luhan. I really want to punch you right now but I’m worried my fist gets contaminated by jerk virus”  

“But I still love him! And he didn't want to even try to love me again! Heck he even told me ‘good luck with my life’!”

Luhan was secretly hoping that Minseok is still mad at him. At least he knows that Minseok still cares. But Minseok just gave up, and he can’t blame anyone but himself.

“Do you hear yourself, Luhan? Minseok fought for you, he even followed you back to China! When you shut him down for the second time, he really broke down, and it’s not the most pleasing view, you scumbag!” Yixing clench his fist. Angry is an understatement.

Hearing it again, knowing that he caused it. Thinking about it is a little too painful. But yes, he’s a jerk. If only he’s not a coward. If only...

“You know why I did that, Yixing. I needed to.”  He whispers, head low, tears b in his eyes.

He hurt him.

 “I know. And he has forgiven you, hell! even Jongdae was forced to forgive you because Minseok-hyung begged him to. Just please, stop. You must stop hurting him. He moved on, you broke him and he struggled to be able to laugh again and you’re planning to destroy that again?” YIxing placed his hands on Luhan’s shoulders.

“I tried to find someone, to forget him. But in everyone I met, his eyes are the one I’m looking for, his touch I crave for. I really tried…But I love him… all those time, everytime.” Everything’s blur because of tears. “ You think I want to hurt him? I love him too much to even think of hurting him.! “ he said between sobs.

“But you did hurt him”

It hurts him too.

 “But… I did. And I ing regret it. ing regret every second of it. it hurts me too… seeing him like that. I just want to be part of his world again, if I need to be dying, I’ll make it true, I’ll gladly have cancer.  I’ll do it. If it’s the only way he’ll take me back… even if it’s out of pity… I will gladly succumb to it.”

_____________.

but you did.

I never edit or proofread. mianhe.