A/N: Thank you for all the comments/subscriptions! All of you are awesome:) and it really motivates me to write more.

CHAPTER FIVE: Animal

And so, the following nights saw Yuri and Sunny meet at the stall as official couples. The birthday had strengthened the relationship among the seven, and they made plans to meet up again for lunch or noraebang in smaller groups. Taeyeon was relieved when Jessica agreed to go on a couple date with Yuri and Sunny, because she had actually already said yes before asking Jessica.

Taeyeon pushed for a movie and then dessert for the sake of minimal interaction. She was afraid that Jessica's caustic attitude would put people as cheerful as Yuri and Sunny off. What was more, Jessica was cutting weight for her upcoming amateur match so she abstained from the popcorn and patbingsoo. The date ended peacefully though, so maybe it was fine.

"Are you ready for next week?"

"I will be," Jessica said. Her challenger was a half-Brazilian, half-Korean thirty year old with a 32-9 record in the amateur league. Jessica had focused her sparring sessions against male wrestlers and boxers because Marina 'Sachultang' Ribeiro was a ground-and-pounder. It was such a highly anticipated women's match that the pot was thirteen million won.

The week came and went, and Jessica won the match by submission. Ribeiro had fought like a bulldog, but Jessica outmatched her aggressiveness. Next stop, it would be back to the professionals against World Number Three in New York City. She had two months to prepare for the match. She told Taeyeon to visit Krystal for her, and that their weekend dates would have to be shorter now. Taeyeon agreed, of course.

The way Jessica talked about her little sister, Taeyeon thought that it would be harder to get a hold of Krystal than it really was. Every Saturday evening, she would borrow Jessica's car and pick up Krystal from her dorm. Then they would drive to a nearby family restaurant for dinner. Since Krystal was always busy, they were usually back at the university in less than two hours. Hayeon declined to come.

"How has my sister's preparations been going?"

"She's training very hard. She's been doing more conditioning lately," Taeyeon said. One question had been bugging her for a while, and now that she felt comfortable with Krystal, she dared to ask it. "Why don't you go to Sica's matches?"

Krystal looked down at her lap. Taeyeon waited. The Jung had no trouble drawing the line between public and private conversation.

"In Math, everything is up to your imagination to discover. It takes a lot of concentration to find a problem, and then think about it everyday until a solution is found. Going to Jessica's matches would be too distracting, and I wouldn't be able to perform well in my research," Krystal said. Now, when she was alone with Taeyeon, she pronounced Jessica's name like an American and dropped with 'unnie' honorific. "That sounds cold, but my sister understands."

Taeyeon was not Jessica, after all. She did not understand. Without waiting for a prompt, Krystal continued, "Jessica and I are alike in a lot of ways, even though she's all passion and action, and I'm rational and passive. Jessica doesn't just want to be the best she can be. She wants to become the best MMA fighter in the world. As for me, I want to contribute to mathematics on the level of Turing, Godel and Church.

"Understandably, actually saying these ambitions aloud make us sound too naive," Krystal said. "But it's what we wanted since young, and later when we were forced to take control of our own lives too early, we became obsessed with making these dreams reality. I'm working with two Professors now, have published a paper in a reputed journal as the primary author, and have grades in the top 1% of my class. I have applied to transfer to MIT with full scholarship to finish my double degrees, and received acceptance letters. By next year, I will be back in America."

Her Korean now sounded distinctly American. It was also cold and calculated. Taeyeon felt a thrill of fear even though it was ridiculous under the sunny sky pushing a twenty year old in a wheelchair. It was probably because she was too stupid to understand half of what Krystal was saying. "Could I ask... what happened with the thing where you decided to really be ambitious?"

Krystal smiled. "I think I understand what you're asking. Those are two things, remember; the first, about being ambitious, we- or at least I because I was too young to remember- always had. That was when our father ran out on the family. The second, about doing something concrete, was when our mother tried to kill us."

"What?"

"I didn't used to be stuck in a wheelchair," Krystal said. "My mother was schizophrenic and bipolar. One day she decided to kill her daughters and herself. She did not realize that Jessica was not in the car yet when she drove full speed into a road divider."

Taeyeon was speechless.

"Jessica got into the pro's immediately to start pulling in the money to pay for my hospital fees and education. I was already a decent student, but it seemed like all that was good left of me was my brain, so I might as well make use of it."

Krystal sighed. "Truth be told, these are all just pretty words. Maybe I just don't like seeing my sister get beat up and bleed, even if she wants it, and even if she's doing it partly for me. But I'm not going to stop her, and she's not going to stop me from leaving next year, because we both know how important it is to become more than... who we are."

Taeyeon wanted to refute Krystal. She wanted to say that 'you are already more than your past', but the statement felt stupid. For years Taeyeon had rammed her head against the real world with no qualifications or identity. Such a world did not care about your self-worth. About how hard you worked on a high fever without food or sleep for two days. If you could not make for rent, out you go, and take your baby sister with you.

Yet what Krystal said was foreign to her. Taeyeon had no ambition. She was like a lower lifeform, a primate compared to Krystal's homo sapien. Just spending an hour a week with Krystal was already making her think in philosophical terms. 

"I don't know what to say. All I thought about was just surviving and not beyond that," Taeyeon said with a chuckle.

"I'm not saying that you're less of a person, unnie. Not at all. I can tell you're just as big of a person as Jessica. That's why she likes you. It's just that... you probably had a larger discrepancy to close, but the relative gains are equal."

More terminology flying over her head. Taeyeon accepted them as comforting words. She continued pushing Krystal along in the wheelchair, mulling over what she just learned. Their family history sounded horrific. It happened when Jessica was already an adult, so she must still remember everything clearly. Taeyeon's memories were fuzzy except for the final chapter, and while it pained her to forget her parents and oppa, it was a comfort to forget what she had lost. Jessica and Krystal had no such respite.

She also wondered when she would ever be able to talk about what happened to her family like Krystal did.

Taeyeon and Hayeon went to the same primary school, so every morning they would walk to and from school together. This time, Hayeon had classroom duty so Taeyeon waited an extra thirty minutes while her sister dusted the windows and swept the floor. 

They got home, which was a two-story shophouse across the renovating library. But the spectacle shop was closed. The lights were off, and the sign on the knob said so. Taeyeon walked up to the door and opened it. She froze, and Hayeon walked into her back.

The glass cases were all smashed. The cash register was open. Spectacles were strewn over the floor. The sunlight glinted off the glass chips covering the ground like water. It was quiet. Taeyeon could not hear anything except for the distant bang of construction across the street. The burglars must have left already.

"Hayeon, stay out here okay? Don't step in. There's a lot of glass. You might cut yourself."

"Where's mom and dad?"

"I don't know. Maybe they went out," Taeyeon said. "I'm going to call the police."

They had a phone in the back office. Taeyeon gingerly picked her way past the overturned chairs. With only slippers on, her feet felt exposed.

When she got into the back office, which was a mess too, the phone had been pulled out of its socket. So she went to the back of the shop and went upstairs to use the home phone. Mom and dad were going to explode when they saw what happened to the shop. And the house, too, it seemed. Taeyeon pushed open the door since the knob and lock had been broken off.

Taeyeon smelled it before she saw it, and she did not recognize the smell until she saw it. There was blood everywhere. Their skin was pasty and gray. Under the overpowering stench of blood was the stink of excretion. She would learn later that a dead body does not hold its bladder.

Taeyeon did not scream. She stared unblinkingly, rooted to the ground. The adult that spoke to her later remarked that she was extraordinarily calm and that it was probably 'shock'. But the truth was it was just too bizarre to see her mother, eyes open, slumped with a slit throat, the spray of her blood splattering the walls and floor; her father with his head bashed in and his neck jutting out at an odd angle; her brother on the floor, face similarly smashed in beyond recognition.

She could see the home phone broken on the floor. She wanted to move, but she was paralyzed. She was old enough to know that this was not a simple burglary. If she turned, someone would slit too. If she spoke, someone would break her skull. The shadows were eating at her. She wanted to move. She needed to get an adult. A doctor or a policeman.

"Unnie, where are you?" Hayeon's call wafted upstairs.

Taeyeon drew a deep breath and realized she had forgotten to breathe. The smell of death was making her dizzy. She was afraid and Hayeon was making her angry asking her questions. "I told you to stay outside Hayeon! Get out! I'm coming down right now!"

When she was sure the silence surrounding her was not a farce of some hidden evil, she forced herself to back away from the door and fled down the stairs, running as fast as her legs could carry her. She missed a step and tumbled, but her heart was beating hard and she scrambled across the glass shards on the floor and escaped from the entrance.

Hayeon looked at her and started crying at the sight of blood and glass on her older sister. Taeyeon looked at the gashes, which felt like lines of fire. Her ears began to hear a rushing and the pain receded. She took Hayeon's hand and dragged her sister. Her right foot was in agony but her spinning head dulled that pain. They walked into the shoe repair shop next door, where the old cobbler looked alarmed at their appearance. His customer turned around and screamed when she saw Taeyeon, her forearms and knees dripping blood.

Taeyeon asked if she could borrow the cobbler's telephone and went straight to the one on the counter without waiting for a reply. She ignored the middle-aged lady's squacking and when the operator answered she told them to please send an ambulance and the police because there was a robbery at the Kim Spectacle Shop and her parents and brother were heavily injured. When the operator told her to stay put and hung up, Taeyeon took her sister's hand again and walked back to the shophouse entrance and they sat down on the steps. The world was spinning faster now. She wanted to lie down, so she angled her head towards Hayeon's lap as she fell, and the world went black.

Taeyeon woke up. Her shirt was soaked through and her fists were clenched. Hayeon, no longer the young girl of seven, was staring over her bed, head half on her pillow, as she watched her sister tangled in the futon on the floor. The blue moonlight cast over Hayeon's face reminded her of the dream she just had.

Taeyeon cleared . "What time is it?"

Hayeon glanced at her alarm clock. "Five."

Taeyeon groaned and closed her eyes. "Go back to sleep."

Taeyeon waited until she had calmed down before shifting her legs to get out of the futon, without opening her eyes because she should be sleeping.

"Unnie, you haven't dreamt about that for years now."

Neither of them said anything, until, "You were telling me to stay put. You were calling for an ambulance."

Taeyeon grunted in acknowledgement and Hayeon rightly took it as her cue to shut up and go back to sleep.

But the nightmares came back every time she took her two hour naps between jobs. Sometimes her dreams featured an older woman with dry, graying hair. Somehow she would know that it was Jessica's crazy mother, hiding in the shadows as the true murderer. Which was ridiculous. The case, known as the Jeonju Murders, tracked the news for a few weeks. They never caught who did it, but Taeyeon always thought it was someone in the town. 

It was also a good thing that the gym and the stall were so close to the goshiwon, since she took her naps there now. If she talked in her sleep, no one else got disturbed.

Lunches were awkward now. She knew Jessica's history, but Jessica did not know hers. To tip the scales further, Krystal had made it clear last week that the Jung sisters were a grade above her. All she could be was an elementary school kid around Jessica. All she could do was amuse Jessica. Sooner or later, she would just be another ex and Tiffany would tell the next interviewee how Jessica had three stalemates already so he or she better not be boring this time. It was selfish of her, but Taeyeon wanted to be with Jessica, because what they had felt like it could become love.

So lunches were like that, and they were all the time that Jessica and Taeyeon spent with each other. 

Jessica's flight was on Tuesday, and her coach gave her the weekend for recovery. The both of them were determined to change how things had been. As soon as Taeyeon closed shop on Saturday morning, Jessica picked her up for a three hour drive to Mallipo beach in Taean. They got on a fisherman's trawler and ate live baby octopus and crab ramen on the way to the island of Gauido island, where they cycled around.

When they got back to Mallipo, they showered at the public restrooms and set up the tent Jessica rented. They ate cuttlefish with tteokbokki and strolled along the beach before going back to the tent to cuddle together under a thick blanket. 

Jessica yawned. Taeyeon yawned too. "I can't believe this is your idea of a recovery day."

"It was productive though. We haven't spent a lot of time together recently," Jessica said. She propped herself up and leaned over Taeyeon. 

Even though her heart was pounding as hard as it had last time, she did not look away as Jessica inched towards her face. When Jessica closed her eyes, Taeyeon had the urge to close the gap between them. She reached up and pecked Jessica on the lips. 

Jessica's eyes snapped open, and she stared down at Taeyeon before moving in again. Taeyeon's lips parted, and Jessica swallowed her whole. Her fingers ran up Jessica's thighs and she rested her hand on Jessica's .

"Byun-tae," Jessica said with a smile.

Taeyeon grinned as she gave a quick squeeze and they went back to kissing for a moment longer.

"Good night, Sica."

"Night, Taengoo."

Taeyeon pulled out her phone and tuned it to the radio, and plugged in her earphones. When she was sure Jessica was asleep, she got up and crawled out of the tent. It was chilly. She zipped up her jacket and folded her arms. The waves were lapping at the beach in muted rushes. She sat down, wrapping her arms around her knees, and watched the tide until she fell asleep.

As expected, she had the nightmare again. Now, dawn was breaking. Her feet were frozen and her nose was dripping. Sniffing, she got back into the tent and crawled back beside Jessica, who had overtaken the entire blanket. At least it was warmer with the wind insulation. She listened as the DJ gave her the morning news and admired Jessica's profile. She had a tuft of blonde fringe sticking up and when Taeyeon tapped it, it would simply return to its original position.

Breakfast was seafood ramen. The third time Taeyeon sneezed, Jessica asked, "Are you sick?"

Taeyeon sniffed. "It was a bit cold at night. I'll sleep it off later."

"Well, make sure you stay far away from me. Thank god I'll be off to America soon," Jessica said, then she called for a cup of warm water for her girlfriend.

"Thanks. What do you want to do next?"

"Let's go back," Jessica said. "Watch a movie at home."

"I'm not really sick," Taeyeon said. "We can still do stuff here."

"Nah, I don't feel like it."

"Okay."

When they got into the car, Jessica said, "You can lean the seat back and sleep."

"It's fine."

"Don't be stubborn. You have work tomorrow."

"It's fine. I'm not gonna let you drive alone. It's not safe." Taeyeon switched the radio to a trot station and turned up the volume. She hummed to the familiar tunes.

But the highway was flat and straight. Taeyeon dozed off without realizing it.

"Taeyeon."

Taeyeon opened her eyes. They had stopped at a shoulder. Jessica was staring at her. Dread filled her stomach. Had she been sleeptalking?

"Taeyeon. Are you okay?"

"Yes, of course. Why have we stopped?" She lifted a hand to rub at her eyes, but it was shaking. She dropped it immediately. "I'm fine."

"Bull. You were talking in your sleep and it didn't sound fine," Jessica said. 

"It was just a nightmare."

"What were you dreaming about?"

"None of your business."

Jessica hit the steering wheel. Taeyeon flinched. "You said my name too, several times. And you were ing whimpering."

Taeyeon stuttered. 

"I should have known," Jessica started, but her voice cracked at the last syllable and she stopped. She took a deep breath. "That you'd just be like the others and have second thoughts. After seeing how much I get off on fighting. Krystal told me she told you about our mother. Scary, isn't she?"

"What? I'm not having second thoughts." That had not been in her dreams at all. It was just the same damn memory nightmare. The sight of their bodies was still fresh.

"You were crying," Jessica said. "In your damn sleep, so tell me right now what to believe."

"What the hell... I swear I'm not afraid of you, Sica," Taeyeon said. "I don't know why I said those things. In fact, I think you're just making up because I wasn't even dreaming about you."

"You said my name, for 's sake. How many 'Jessica's do you call 'Sica'? So just cut the bull and tell me what's your problem with me and I'll try to fix it," Jessica said. 

"Sica, come on. I was sleeptalking. I can't control it and it's not what I really think. I wasn't even dreaming about you. I was dreaming about my family and how they all got ended, okay?" Taeyeon ended at a shout.

"Bull."

Taeyeon was speechless. Unbelievable. She jammed her seatbelt buckle and got out of the car. She slammed the door as hard as she could. There was a rest stop eight miles down so she just would have to get moving. There would be public transportation available there. Her vision became blurry as tears pricked her eyes.

Behind her, a car door opened and closed. "Taeyeon!"

She ignored the call and only increased her strides, wiping her eyes. But when Jessica took her by the shoulder, she spun around and shoved Jessica back. "Don't touch me."

"Taeyeon-"

"We're done. You're right, we're over," Taeyeon said. 

Jessica clenched her fists. "So I was right. You don't get to ing dump me. I break up with you."

"Yes, go cry with your genius sister and your loopy mother," Taeyeon said. Then Jessica's fist was flying towards her face and in an explosion of pain she was kissing asphalt. Jessica grabbed her by the collar and lifted her up before punching her again.

"Don't ing disrespect my family."

Taeyeon would have laughed if her cheek was not split. Jessica had some nerve talking about that. She swung at Jessica, who blocked reflexively and struck her again. 

Taeyeon watched in a daze on the ground as Jessica straightened up and walked away. The woman pulled out a bag from the backseat of her car and dropped it on the road, before striding to the driver's side. Jessica got in, the car started up, and drove away.

Sure enough, the few cars and trucks that passed by did not stop for a lone woman walking down the road shoulder. Taeyeon finally made it to the rest stop, her shirt stained with blood from her nose and cheek. Her disheveled appearance drew worry from the roasted potatoes seller, and people gave her a wide berth at the waiting area. Taeyeon ignored them all and got on the bus, sitting by herself. She glared out the window, face smarting, as she thought about the piece of that was Jessica Jung.

A/N: Let me know what you think!