A/N: I think I missed some bits that needed to be edited properly, but yeah.

Key Notes:

PURPLE: AUTHOR

RED: JONG

BLUE: MINZY

NORMAL: OTHERS

Present - 1 month later

'Noona, please you have to come back now, please' Sehun said,'I-its hyung, he isnt himself anymore' he continued, 'Noona! Please, I... No we need your help noona. Its Kai Hyung, he needs you now! You have to come back before its too late noona. We are keeping watch over him at his family house. Please noona' Sehun begged, then he put the phone down, he rang her apartment phone number, but only got through to her voicemail.

____

Flash back

It was only the first day she had left, and Jong could not handle it. He didnt want to stay in their apartment, without her presence there, he felt suffocated. He forced himself on Sehun instead, knowing Mingkki would contact him, he practically made Sehuns place his new home now. Sehun couldnt do anything but let him litterally move in. Jong made Mingkkis room his, her scent filled the room, her bed was messy, knowing she must have slept here one night, and left it like that.

Jong stopped going to work, stopped doing anything really. He had contacted his parents telling them he will be on holiday, a long one and to get a replacement for now. They asked what was wrong he didnt say anything, and never contacted them since then, never contacted anyone.

****

First Week

Mingkki had only contacted Sehun once, to give him her number, and that she was fine. Sehun couldnt tell her about Jong, his mouth moved but the words just wouldnt come out., because deep down, he wanted his noona to be free from all the things Jong has done to her.

While Jong, had become a living zombie, he was depressed, he never went to work, he never went anywhere, he practically never left the house. He didnt eat properly, he didnt shower, he didnt take care of himself, unless Sehun or the boys forced food down his throat, or threw him into the shower, the things he would normally be able to do himself, he just couldnt do.

One day he had called off every single girl he met, completely forgetting them, he didnt need them, he didnt want to see another girls face except for hers, he no longer had any feelings of thrill or anything about meeting up with them, he wanted to forget everything, deleting every number in his phone, except his babys and the boys.

'Hyung, you have to eat atleast?' Sehun told him one day, Jong just sat at the table, staring at the food Sehun made. Jong wouldnt touch it, instead would always think of his baby. 'What if she doesnt come back?' Jong said shakily, fearing she wouldnt return. 'She will' Sehun assured him.

Jong had ignored the fact, Mingkki said that she doesnt know when she will be back, meaning that she will return soon.

****

Second Week

Jong was still the same, just worst... he became quiet and cold, he cried himself to sleep most nights, depressed, he still didnt leave the house. The boys were there for him, they tried to help him, to make him feel better, but nothing worked. The boys couldnt take it, him staying inside everyday, so they forced him into the shower, washed up, then forced him out of the house, they all dragged him outside. 

JONGIN POV

They had dragged me out, we were now at some park, it was a nice day, but the sun hurt my eyes as it shined on me cause this was the first time in 2 weeks that I left the house. 

I felt empty, I didnt want to do anything in life anymore, I didnt need anything, all I wanted was my baby, and every time I thought about her, I would break down on the spot but I wouldnt cry in public, no way, I just shut my eyes instead. I felt guilty, terribly guilty, it was my fault and I know it was, maybe if I had talked to her when she wanted to, then maybe this wouldnt of happened or maybe if I didnt do what I did, or felt that stupid thrill, then maybe this wouldnt of happened.

I hated it, I hated life. When we were in the park, there were people, and I just hated people, I hated it. Everytime I saw a girl, I felt disgusted, my face expressed hatred and I fumed with anger towards them, I hated every female. Even though it was my fault, I just hated everything at the moment.

I was a lifeless body walking around with them, but I kept a hold on Sehun, Why? Cause he was the only connection to her. They dragged me around, to shops, restaurants forcing me to eat, every single place they could to get me out of my depressed state, but it never worked, it wouldnt work, nothing will.

****

Third Week

I missed my baby badly, I desparately needed her more than anything, I yearned for my baby, her touch, her smile, her beautiful eyes, her scent, her voice. My emotions and feelings built up, making me fall in love with her all over again, as I remembered our happy times and memories we spent together, I love my baby more than anything. But it became harder to bare as she wasnt by my side.

I know longer wanted anything to do in life, I layed in bed lifeless, staring blankly at the ceiling, I was seriously depressed, gloomy, I hardly talked anymore, I felt empty, lonely, and with that, things came to my mind, bad things, I shouldnt be thinking about. I need her, I needed her badly, but my baby wasnt here. Im waiting for her to return, Ill wait no matter how long.

I tried to get it out of Sehun, but he still didnt know where she was, he told me her home phone, but that said she was hardly home to pick up our calls or ring. But when she did call, it was on Sehuns phone and he wasnt home. Sehun is busy in the day, he had work and comes home late in the afternoon, while Im here depressed, not wanting to go anywhere.

But then one day late in the afternoon, at home by myself, I couldnt take these feelings and emotions inside of me anymore, I sluggishly got off the bed, all disorientated, walked towards the kitchen and in front of the drawers.

I did the one thing I thought, would never happen in my entire life. I... cut myself...

As I took a knife from the draw, placing it over my wrist, harming myself, I couldnt handle these feelings boiling up within me, I couldnt take it any longer. My baby, my Mingkki, my world, my everything, she was all I needed, she is all I want, and if my baby is not here, then I guess, I shouldnt be either. 

I slowly started losing balance, my sight went blurry, blood flowing down my wrist to the cold floor, then the next thing I knew I out.

AUTHOR

Just a couple mintues later, Sehun walked in, placing his stuff down, 'Hyung!' He called out to him, but with no response, he decided to check up on him in his room, but as he walked pass the kitchen, he saw blood flowing on the ground, his eyes went wide, he quickly went to look, as he gasped at the sight of Jong laying lifeless on the ground, he darted towards him, sliding on his knees, as he grabbed ahold of him, Sehun was so shocked he wanted to cry but he had to get it together right now, 'H-hyung!' he called out to him, quickly grabbing his phone, 'A-ambulance, hospital' he mumbled, he was frightened and afraid, he called them as he talked to them shakily, telling them to hurry up.

He was shaking as he had a hold of Jong, he grabbed his phone again, quickly calling Luhan, 'H-hyung, h-help! Its Jong hyung, he-he...' Sehun shakily said crying, 'Sehun-ah calm down, tell me whats wrong?' Luhan desparately asked him, Sehun sniffed trying to calm himself, 'Im scared, its Jong hyung, he hurt himself' Sehun told him as calmly as he could without breaking down, Luhan knew it was really bad by the way Sehun was reacting to it, 'Did you call-' Luhan asked but Sehun immediately answered 'Yes, yes I did' Sehun told him, 'Ok, I'll be right there, Sehun-ah.' Luhan told him, they hung up, Sehun carefully hugged Jong, waiting for help to arrive. While Luhan called all the boys, telling them about whats happened. They quickly made their way to Sehun.

 ____

They were all silently sitting in a hospital room, Jong laying on the hospital bed, Sehun standing at the back leaning against the wall watching over Jong with Suho who was comforting him and Kris who was observing him not wanting to bother him. As the rest of the boys sat on the side of the bed, sat in the chairs or stood up.

The doctors in charge had told them it wasnt serious, but he was dehydrated and not enough food and nutrients were in his body, so he needed to be on a drip and that he needed rest.

'I didnt think he would go this far' Baekhyun sadly said, 'No one did' Suho said sighing, 'I guess he loves her more than his own life' Yeol stated. 'Yeah, too much' Chen said, 'Too much, its dangerous for him' Lay said worried for the man on the bed. 'I dont mean to be rude or of any offence to Kai, but do you think its karma?' Kris said aloud, which got everyone looking at him sadly frowning at his statement, since Kris was the blunt but thruthful one, they all knew Kai was in the wrong, but even so Kai was their brother from another mother. They turned back at the person in talk, watching over him silently, as none of them had anything to say about it. 'But even so, he should not have done this. Ever' Kyungsoo said upset at his actions.

Before they started talking Kai was already up, but pretended to be asleep. He heard everything, he felt a sharp and painful stab at his heart, an invisible lump form in his throat, as tears threatened to fall from his eyes, when he thought about it. -Maybe this is what I get for hurting my baby- Jong thought.

'We have to tell aunty and uncle' Xiumin stated, 'No, please. Dont tell them' Jong told them, now opening his eyes. 'JongIn!' they called out, then asking if he was okay, Jong just nodded assuring that he was fine. 'We have to Kai' Tao said, 'No, I dont want them to worry about me' Jong said, 'Then you should never have done this Kai!' Suho scolded him, Jong just sat there quietly looking anywhere but them.

'Please' Jong begged as he sadly looked back at them. The boys decided not to push the subject, instead agreed with him for now. They all sighed.

'Im sorry for worrying you guys' Jong told them, as he himself cpuldnt believe what he had done, but he just couldnt handle the pain and hurt within himself.

'Please, just dont scare us like that Kai' Kris told him. Jong nodded feeling guilty, as he looked sadly upon Sehun who wasnt looking at him but the ground.

____

But this wasnt the last of his self harm...

During the same week after his first, he had tried it again but luckily Sehun was there to stop it from happening and then got scolded. But while Sehun wasnt in sight, Jong had hurt himself again, not able to bare the lose, and touch of his one and only.

Jong ended up in the hospital, with a frantic scared Sehun who was now crying at the sight of the sleeping figure on the hospital bed. The boys now had to tell his parents of whats happening, with Jong protesting against them, but they wouldnt hear any of it.

____

Jong was now in the care of his parents, at their family mansion, he didnt want to be here, he didnt want to leave her room, her bed, but nothing worked and so he had to stay, making sure atleast Sehun stayed with him at the mansion and Sehun said he would, scared for his hyung, and feeling guilty.

Sehun had secretly called his noona, to tell her about whats been going on, but when he called her, he could not say anything he was in silence, but he did utter one word, before he slowly hung the phone up. 'Noona...' Sehun called out to her desparately.

****

Fourth Week

Jong became a lifeless body in his bed, he wasnt allowed to leave the bed or house due to his parents, they had guards around the house, people watching him just in case something happens.

No one knew why Jong was hurting himself, Jong wouldnt say a word to anyone, and the boys felt that they shouldt either, if Jong wouldnt tell them himself. 

Jong tried many times in harming himself, a couple times it went through. 

They were all scared for his life, not knowing, that when the next time it happens, it could be his last. 'The next time could be his last' the doctor said. 'We have to tie him down or something, so he wont even try it!' Soo told eveyone worriedly. But no one even dared to try and force him down, because he hated it when people touched him, he wouldnt let anyone near him, so they couldnt do anything.

His parents and relatives he was close to, tried talking to him many times, but it was useless, he didnt care what anyone said, he wouldnt listen to anyone. They boys tried, he listened to them but what they were asking for he didnt want and he didnt need any of that. 

What he needed was her, all he wanted was to hear her voice, to feel her touch and have her scent surround him, all it had to be was his baby, Mingkki, that could stop everything hes doing to himself.

The pain he felt by harming himself, helped him a little to overcome the hurt of losing his one and only, and for her not bei