#15: changes

Of course, with high school, there comes a significant change in his life. If before, someone told Jongin that things would change this much though, he would surely have laughed at that person and confidently have said no, because there is no way anything could get in between Sehee and him. But of course, life goes differently as one might think.

With Jongin being placed in a different class than Sehee, they don't see each other as often as before. They only spend their lunch breaks together, and after school, Jongin has let the boys in his class convince him to join the soccer club and thus he is busy, too. Truthfully, he might have joined soccer club now only to impress Sehee and appear more manly to her. After all, Minseok-hyung is a dancer as well as a tracker - or was? Jongin isn't sure if Minseok is continuing with that in college as well - with other words, he is fit. Jongin isn't in a bad shape, not necessarily, but of course he is not as fit as someone with sports club activities.

"You know, girls like fit guys," Taemin said, and that's why Jongin tagged along to soccer practice in the first week. That's also why he is a member there now, after excelling in the tryouts - a natural talent, as his seniors would say - and that is the reason why he is not going home after classes with Sehee on three days of the week. But that's okay, right? She has Baekhee with her, and there's her boyfriend, too, who she still meets up with after school sometimes.

The other reason why he isn't spending as much time together with Sehee as before is also related to school. Being in different classes makes things so much more difficult now that there are even more group and partner projects to do to 'school them in the art of teamwork'. If it were simply homework and studying together, then it would be no problem as every class has the same curriculum, but unfortunately, next to the traditional exchanging notes and studying together, Jongin has to meet up with his group members to prepare presentations, and Sehee does the same, too. So if they spent an average of at least fourteen hours a day together before, now it might only be two hours a day at most. It's sad, but Jongin doesn't feel as sad when there are so many other things distracting him - school, soccer, and Soojung.

Now, Jongin isn't falling for Soojung, not at all, but he is spending a lot of time with her and Chanyeol in class. Outside of class, he spends as much time as he can with Sehee, but his bestest of best friends is unfortunately booked and pretty busy on the weekends, so even on their free days he doesn't see much of her. Instead, he hangs out with a different crowd now - with Soojung, Sunyoung, Minho and Taemin - though on the inside he is just yearning for a few more private moments with Sehee. Just two, three hours a week, only the two of them, in either Sehee's or his room, lazing on the bed while watching random video clips, playing video games or just talking. How much he wishes they could be the same way they were before, in middle school, before Sehee has noticed a boy named Kim Minseok.

Things don't really change, not for Jongin, when he has always been in love with Sehee, and with things, he means his wishes, his dreams, his goals. Though momentarily distracted, his thoughts will somehow find their way back to his childhood friend and crush, even if lately he wonders if there is a slight possibility for his feelings to subside over time, for the space in his heart to slowly change to accommodate another person, while Sehee will be put to another spot there, of course never disappearing from his heart, but maybe his love for her could change and return to the way he thought they should be - brotherly love, a best friend's affections, platonic love.

And sometimes, when he sees Soojung, he would ask himself if she had the ability to keep his mind off Sehee, perhaps even turning his central focus on her even. But then he catches a glimpse of Sehee - and it doesn't even have to be Sehee in person for he sees a glimpse of her in the flowers on his way home, in the soft evening breeze on a hot summer day, in the merry laughter of children on the playground - and he is back to square one. Maybe that is how things are supposed to be: Jongin forever loving Sehee quietly from up close.

We must have been very close in our past lives as well, Sehee has said once, and Jongin wants