Chapter 8 - Taking Steps

  Minutes before midnight, you lay in your bed, still wide awake. Even after countless attempts of resting on your right and left side, your stomach, your back, with one foot sticking out of your blanket or with one arm and one leg sticking out. To put it in a nutshell, you couldn't fall asleep. Nothing worked out the way you wanted it to be and for some reason it seemed like you couldn't find peace. Your mind wasn't tired anyways and many thoughts kept hurry-scurry in it.    Staring at the plafond, you recalled the last days and hours. All the advices you got, all the chances you missed. You had one chance to seize everything you ever wanted, but unfortunately you didn't captured it, it slipped right through your hands, in front of your eyes.  If you had stayed in the van with your dad, refused like a stubborn child to go with EXO into the bubble tea shop, you would have known that your father is engaged now. The time is up and you couldn't turn back the time, in order to make the right decision.     'What' and 'if' are two unthreatening words, but when you put them together they gain the power to haunt you. "What if?." 'Never let your past take up too much of today', your mother used to acquaint you when you were little. Everytime you complained about kids being rude to you or unfair treatment you have experienced, she would recall her motto.    What if you would really denounce you dad? Would this make the sun shine again? Presumably, it will.    What if you moved to Japan? It won't change your life in a positive way.    You grabbed your phone, which recumbent on the night table. Wouldn't it be rude if you didn't text Jaebum? After all,  he should also have your number too, since you wanted to return the favour and wanted to be there for him, no matter what. Whenever something was bothering him, you wanted to be his main contact person.    It took you a couple of inruns to develop a readable text - somehow, you wanted him to like your message, to smile as soon as he knows, who texted him. Does he like emoticons? Are you allowed to also call him 'Jae' like the male did?    "Hey Jaebum, it's me  - you   - I'm the girl you meet yesterday in the coffee shop. I will do what you endorsed me to. I will take it upon myself now and take control over my life. It's time to begin"   With a smile you placed your smartphone beneath your pillow. Slowly the fatigue pulled you into your dreamland.                                 #~#~#~#   The next day you were woken up by the warm sun rays, shining on your face. Thankfully, it was Saturday, thus you don't have to go to school and face your classmates. The constant feeling of not being good enough - in looks - let your self esteem sink dramatically. You have two chances in life - be, either a successful, independent woman, who achieved all her dreams, but this means being phenomenally ugly or you will be a super model, a portrayal of Barbie, but brainless. Both were temptingly in their own way.    In oder to know what time it is, you lifted up the pillow to grab your phone.    One new message. 'Huh' you thought, unlocked your mobile to read the message.    From Jaebum: Hey! I'm glad to hear that. You told me about the Prom.. I could organise you a partner. He is a friend of mine and he would be pleased to accompany such a gorgeous girl. Shall I set this date? Of course, you can meet him before.    For a minute your heart started to race and heat started to fill your body.    "Sure! Thank