TIME

Jessica's 1st POV

     I had said before that I would handle what was in front of me first and save the rest that was behind me for last. Yet, it seemed as if the world had flipped upside down and now I was looking at what I had turned my back to.

     I’m not sure whether it was fright or surprise that caused me to stand up so quickly on my feet, but my legs were obviously shaking.

     From the depths of my heart it was shaking in fear from being caught in this disgraceful act and those eyes of his looked at me as if I was less than the soil even from the graveyards.

      “I thought to come surprise you, but it looks like we both get a surprise, don’t we?” His voice started off in friendly vibe, but I knew his anger was steaming slowly like a whistling tea pot.

     Jaejoong was standing up; right next to me with the same speechless face I had while I held my nervous hands in front of me.

     Right now my brain couldn’t process what to do in this situation and I only lowered my eyes to the wasteful roses.

     That was when I remembered of the roses out on the balcony, which were wilting away like a deadly virus hit it in a fever. That rose was me and that demon I somehow pushed in the closet of my heart was peeking out again.

      “You brought roses?” I whispered and slowly looked at him with eyes that were shining from the tears threatening to crash on my face like an ocean’s tragic wave.

      “You brought him?” I heard Tyler’s mid alto voice ask me and that shakiness in my hands was suddenly replaced with a hard clench.

      “I did. How does it feel?” I asked him with a crazy smile blooming on my lips like spring and I stepped forward to him.

      “Jessica, what are you doing?” I heard Jaejoong whisper behind me in a rush, but my anger not only blinded me, but made me death to anyone trying to stop me. The demon had walked out the closet and set my entire heart into a raging fire.

      “Are you really asking me how I feel? You are cheating on me with…!” He had began to raise his voice in atrocity, but fury sent my feet to walk up to him in a hurry across the living room.

      Then as if my hand was a viper, it did the unexpected to him so quickly, but this was expected for me when the firm backside of my hand left a slap so sharp and hard, it could have left a permanent mark or even more a hole just like he did to my heart.

     His disgusting face wasn’t good enough for the inside of my hand. It was too clean for him.

      With a rough bite to my bottom lip, I took in a deep inhale as I saw his ineffable expression and turned face. Even his spit was silenced when he turned his head with wide eyes, but rage turned his skin the color of boiling blood.

     I simply lifted my head up higher and gave him a cunning smirk at him.

      “Cheating? How is this cheating? Aren’t we both equal now?” I asked him, giving him a hint what all of this was about and he took in a sharp inhale from his mouth.

      “What? Are you trying to imply I cheated first?!” He exclaimed at me and I stepped back, waving my hand in front of my face.

      “Ah, you need to go brush your teeth. I think I smell some Gillian on your tongue and it smells like ,” I spoke dirtily to him and he raised his voice higher, in which I just took the toll to step away.

       “Can you stop this already?! I have never cheated on you! What proof do you even have that I cheated!?” He began exclaiming and my eyes widened when I felt someone pulling me back and my vision was blocked by Jaejoong’s back.

       “Why don’t you just go now? I don’t know what happened between you two, but Jessica doesn’t want you here,” Jaejoong spoke viciously and I bit harder down on my lip as I ripped my hand away from Jaejoong’s grasp.

       “You don’t tell me what the to do with my woman!?” Tyler came out his usual classy, poised self to a rough demeanor and I quickly went the shelf where I had threw the pictures at out of frustration a while back.

      My fingers gripped the white envelope hard enough to wrinkle it as I snatched it off from the shelf and strode back over to where they were before more useless words would be said.

      Right now, only action could speak for us and indeed it did when I snatched the pictures out and slapped them in Tyler’s face with them flying like paper planes to the floor.

       “I’m not implying, I’m stating that you have cheated,” I spoke almost in a deep, darkening voice as he was just staring wide eyed at the photos.

       “Well…” I said, hoping for an apology as I crossed my arms, waiting for his answer as his eyes were scanning over the pictures in disbelief.

       “T-These pictures are from when we dated before I met you…w-who sent these to you?!” He began to ask with shock creeping up in his voice like a ghost haunting him and my eyes stretched.

      With a bitter smile fitting my lips and a tear searing down my face, I stared at him strongly and spoke in a wavering voice that was just as wide as the sea, because we were so distant now.

       “Must you really lie to my face Tyler? I have a series of day to day photos of you with her. You are even wearing the tie I gave you on my birthday! How dare you still try to make me seem like the stupid one…I’ve had enough,” I breathed out with stress even choking me around my neck.

      There were only two words nearing my lips like a cliff and finally they fell over with a series of wet droplets spilling on my burning hot cheeks. “We’re over.”

      Just like that I broke a heart that we shared in half and it could never become a whole again. Not even band aids, tape or even glue could put these pieces together. There was nothing like betrayal. I think…I understand Taeyeon more.

       “W-What?!” He asked in disbelief and quickly leaned, down grabbing up one of the pictures before he came in front of me. I simply made me face hard and cold like ice as I looked away from him, but I really wanted to shatter in a million pieces and melt away into nothingness.

      This is exactly the reason why I’ve been running away. I was scared of doing exactly this, ruining a dream, a fantasy of eternal love.

       “Look here baby…please look, my face has changed over the years. Tie? I have a million ties that look like that since it was so plain,” He began down talking on my gift that I spent a whole day picking over.

      With a sharp inhale, I snatched the picture out of his hand with my nostrils turning red from the emotions pouring so fast in me that they were overflowing and causing a horrendous and even a murderous flood.

      The moment I had the picture in my possession, I slammed it down on the floor and stomped my feet to rub it back and forth with the roses that were on the floor as well.

      Once I saw I wrinkled it, I leaned down, picked it up to only slam against his chest. This is what I think of you son of a .

       “Yes, I see perfectly how you have changed from the inside and out. Since it was so plain then you might as well wipe your and get the out of my life! Withdraw from Blanc and Eclare. Resign right now! I don’t want your ugly, in my Blanc and Eclare!” I screamed and I wasn’t the only one going insane as he grabbed the side of my arms so strong I thought my bones would crush into dust.

      As if he was trying to shake my mind up, he angrily snatched me back and forth while looking down in my eyes. “DO YOU EVEN KNOW-“

      Immediately, someone’s hand grabbed Tyler’s shoulder and ripped him away from me, in which I started to shake…tremendously as I began holding myself.  That was the first time Tyler ever treated me like that and even looked at me like that.

     My eyes started to convulse themselves as I noticed I was really losing my mind and fear possessed my body as I saw a blood spilling from Tyler’s nose after Jaejoong had punched him in his face. Why was there so much violence today?

     Somehow my brain wanted to escape all of this when my hands ran over the bottles of Soju. My head was already light, but I wanted to escape this moment rather it meant for me to float high in the heavens or drown in the dark waters of alcohol.

     I already had the bottle in my hand as I twisted the cap off desperately and threw the top down carelessly as I heard cuss words, punches and grunts.

     Successfully, I had drunk the entire body so quickly, but it just made me cry more as I turned my head and saw Jaejoong holding Tyler against the wall with eyes screaming murder in them.

      “Stop!” I hollered and I was already swaying in my steps since I had a low tolerance for alcohol.

      “Let him go!” My voice scraped my vocal chords as I pointed my Soju bottle at Jaejoong and he looked back at him with a few reddened bruises on his cheek, which still struck my heart like lightning.

      “Did you not hear what he said!?” Jaejoong yelled at me and I shut my eye from my vision becoming blurry.

      “I don’t care! I break up with you both! Get out!” I roared and let the bottle escape from my hand with a fling from my wrist.

     My aim was bad and the bottle hit the floor instantly, letting me know my baseball lessons from Hyun Joong had worn off. It’s a damn shame.

      “Are you not getting out?!” I screamed and ran over to the table, throwing more at them, but succeeded in which they dodged the shattered glass bottles, leading them to crash with the sound of wild collision on the walls and floor.

      “Get out my ing house!” I rose up and saw them going toward my door, in which I pushed them out by their backs.  “You can both kill yourselves together out here!”

     Those were my last words, before I slammed the door shut and slowly, I fell down in front of that exact door on my knees, crying loudly, miserably. Why is my life like this? Has it always been like this and I’m only noticing it now? Why am I so blind? Why am I so stupid? Why do I even exist?

     That last question was enough to silence my thoughts, but not these tears that flooded through my mind, drowning me in complete anguish.

     Nonetheless, I was still trying to desperately swim out these chaotic waters, trying to escape this life by drinking down the last bottles of Soju that hadn’t been thrown or drunken up yet.

     While I was sitting on the couch, I began to look around with heavy eyelids and a heavier heart pulling me down the depths of hell.

      “Why am I so alone?” I questioned the air, expecting for it to produce some sound waves to travel to my ears, but there was only silence.

     I use to love the quietness and even treasured it, but I’ve grown to hate it.

     Yet, when there is noise, it is either the complaints of others, sounds of crying, yelling, screaming and even violence. There was no peace anymore. I call myself trying to restore it and look what I’ve done.

     On my feet that felt like five hundred pounds on each foot, I walked toward the door and stopped to look down at the shattered glass and liquid on the floor.

     My arms hung low by my side and I took in a tiresome inhale. Did they really leave?

     Walking around the glass, I opened the door and almost jumped out of my own clothes if possible when I saw Jaejoong standing across the hallway, leaning against the pale wall.

     A rough exhale surpassed these lips and my eyes searched for Tyler. So, he really did leave?

     For some reason, I couldn’t help but have anger flood my veins and I saw Jaejoong as my enemy, he was the bad guy while I was the innocent one here. My fists balled up and I ran out in the hallway toward him, in which his head popped with surprised eyes.

     As if I was superman I struck my fist out, but cried out loud when I hit the wall and fell right on top of Jaejoong with the lights fading from my blurry vision. That anger that was like gasoline to my soul, suddenly drained all out and I was just a car that wouldn’t start at all.

     The only last thing I could hear was a sigh from Jaejoong’s lips and his arms wrapped around me.

      “When you hit me, make sure you are sober. You need to mean every hit and I deserve each one. I always…always end up failing you…especially when I don’t want to.

     His voice was so soothing and reassuring, even though it consisted of sorrow and a tremendous amount of guilt.

     Unlike others, he was willing to make amends. It must be really painful for him, just like how painful it was to get Taeyeon to accept me again. I wouldn’t want to make you feel like that either Jaejoong. I still do have feelings for you. You have rekindled that flame. I do love you again. Did I ever stop loving you?

***

     By the time I woke up to another morning of spring, it would seem everything was back to normal with the sun shining, birds flying in the blue sky, and even the cool air that was moving forward, but it seemed as if I was still going backwards or time was still put on pause.

     With seldom breaths, I sat up out of my messy bed and rubbed my hand through my head, remembering the last events that I had seen before I out.

     I had cooked for Jaejoong then we were on the couch drinking…and kissing. That was when Tyler suddenly appeared and a fight broke out. How did he get in? Oh, I never did change the code from the first time he bought this apartment for me. I am really stupid.

      “Aish,” I groaned out and covered my mouth, when I suddenly had a dry cough. My eyes had caught on to something white on my bed side dresser and I saw a sheet of paper with writing on it.

     Curiosity caused my hand to move and pick up the paper lightly. My eyes blinked a couple of times, to shake off sleep as I began to read the note.

To: Jessica

I’ve sung you to sleep pretty well last night. I hope you still remember my voice even in the morning, but if not, you will hear it pretty soon again. I’ll be leaving now. Don’t cry too much. Don’t hurt too much. Don’t drink too much either. I say this despite knowing that this is out of your control, but I won’t tell you not to love too much, since I know that I can’t even control that myself. How can I expect that out of you? I’ll be at your every beck and call. I don’t want to force myself on you like I did last time. I just can’t help it. You make me go wild. So, call me when you need me…or even want me. I will always want you, because I need you.

Love, Jaejoong

      Too many emotions were strangling my heart that was already trying to break loose from his compelling words.

      Every sentence was filled with sorrow, passion, seduction, craving, longing and mostly love. Why does this flame burn so badly now? You make me want to call you now Jaejoong. ‘You make me go wild.’ No, it is you who makes me wild.

      Simply because of Jaejoong, I was able to get ready for today’s events and able to think how I would handle the world before me now.

      Just like my usual mornings, I stood in the full body mirror of my bedroom and examined my sleeveless white, pink and blue floral dress that reached my ankles, but was a halter top at the neck. I looked quite modest, with my blue hair still being worn straight with a silver headband on top to match my jewelry.

      As I took a moment to stare in my own dark brown eyes, I went into a separate universe with my thoughts.

      It was as if I was going down a checklist of people that mattered to me.

      First it was Krystal. The only time I had seen her was at the fashion team and when off camera, she would quickly run away, avoiding me. Was she ashamed of me finding about her seeing GD? I’m just glad she wasn’t dating him. She doesn’t know something that I know about him. I just hope she doesn’t attack Taeyeon, since she never liked her anyway.

      As for Taeyeon, it seems that me ignoring her is affecting her. I didn’t think it would, but despite that she is still being stubborn. She is dating GD now. In which, nothing good won’t come out of that. I won’t warn her about him either.  She should have already heard how scandalous he is. She will have to find out the rest by herself.

      Competition is coming soon also. To be exact in a few days and yet I still haven’t figured out the mystery of the ending to my song. Especially, since I named the title Eternity. It just really has become difficult.

      As for the recording, there is only one scene left and it was with me and Kai. It’s a good thing he is a modern dancer as well or else I couldn’t have used him in my music video. I’m sure it would attract more fans also.

      Now, lastly the Jaejoong and Tyler issue. It really is hard to let go of Tyler. When SNSD and SM both threw me away, all I had was Tyler. Back in those days, I was so scared that if Tyler left me, I would have nothing and not even Blanc & Eclare.

      He was also the only person who helped me through so much. We had dreams of getting married, having a kid. We had so many dreams and now I just watched them all be set on fire one by one.

      I no longer could face my emotional thoughts and shut my eyes before the rain would come down on my face like window panes. It would be wasteful for a sunny day like this.

      Quickly, I turned my head and looked out the gleaming sun. Let’s try smiling. Maybe I can really feel better.

      While fitting a smile on my lips, I collected the things I would need for today such as my purse and messenger bag as always. I took Jaejoong’s letter as an extra and went down stairs.

      I took a pause in the living room and looked in the kitchen, remembering how happy I felt to cook for Jaejoong. My heart literally felt so warm and comfortable. Then as I saw him eat it and truly enjoy it, it was like the fourth of July, where fireworks flooded the sky with mystical colors.

      As if I was watching yesterday like a movie, I turned my head and saw us on the couch, where he started to kiss me…touch me and then like a ghost there he was. My heart turned black at just the thought of him and I shook my head, to clear that away. That’s it. I and Tyler…are over, just as I said before.

      Suddenly, in the middle of my thoughts, I heard a beep and took out my phone to see a message. Speaking of the devil…

From: S.O.B

Okay, I’m sorry. Let’s just talk, okay? I won’t make a move till you do if that makes you feel better.

~Tyler~

      You call that a ing apology? Won’t make a move till I move? So, we were playing chess all this time? Our relationship was only a game. I see how it goes now. I see perfectly.

      He must did not know one of my favorite versus from the bible was: "If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”

      It’s time to tear you out and throw you away, be it in hell or what not. I really don’t care anymore. I don’t want to.

***

      Usually, in this setting I would be overly nervous about seeing Taeyeon again or pouring on the emotions like syrup on pancakes, but I was in the process of mixing hot and cold together. Only a storm results from that.

      My eyes and feet were guiding me through the Immortal Song building and to the back stage, but my mind only kicked in when I heard someone say my name. “Jessica, come over here.”

      Waking up from internal thoughts, I turned around and to the friendly face of one of the directors. She motioned me to come over and in which I did.

       “Hello,” I said plainly and gave a bow, but she was looking at me oddly. What?

      That was when I followed her eyes and my eyes stretched out. “Omo, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you Taeyeon. Hello,” I spoke to her respectfully as my leader and bowed to her as well. This time I didn’t do it on purpose. I was really disconnecting from life. This couldn’t be good.

       “O-Oh, that’s fine,” Was all she said with a dry laugh, playing to be friendly in front of the directors.

      I just awkwardly laughed and we were guided to get our makeup and hair done before we went on stage.

      This was the episode where the winners for the Idol Edition would be announced and continuity of their regular show. At least we wouldn’t have to do another song. I don’t think it would be as good as the last one anyway.

      Finally, we were on the stage before hundreds of eyes and I stood next to Taeyeon with a soft smile on my lips. But, I felt I wasn’t looking out at the audience, but at my past.

      I was remembering how I use to feel being in front of people compared to how I felt the last time I was with Taeyeon.

      Usually, it would be about the team work to satisfy the crowd. You know the effort. But, that time…it was about us. That was truly singing…performing…being an idol, being ourselves.

       “Jessica,” I heard Taeyeon whisper and she budged my elbow, in which I jumped as I was knocked out of a spell. I heard laughter and wondered if I peed on myself or something.

       “W-What?” I asked while gripping on my microphone harder and she gave a false laugh.

“Come on, you can watch the rest on the TV at your stage,” my manager told me and grabbed my arm, ripping my eyes off the stage literally to my own stage, where I was just becoming captivated my Taeyeon’s powerful peformnace on the TV. I think now I could actually pay attention to her lyrics unlike I did when watching her music video.

     With my hand waving up as I reached toward the ceilinng, looking gracefully, I sung…I sung to Taeyeon.

“Just because I die, doesn’t mean this is the end

It was only the beginning

Just as you were the phantom in the night, I will wear that mask to take your hand this time

I will only know the burden of the last breath when the time comes

But, before any of that, I will hold your hand and tell you that I love you

Before any of that I will hold you in my arms and tell you that I am sorry”

     Finally, it was time to release the voice that I’ve been working on for so many years. I was then lowered by the dancers as I walked out to the center of the stage by the walkway.

      “Before any of that I will be your freedom, your eternity,” I sung out that last word as if it would be literally my last and I had to have the highest scream to be heard, which was my fourth octave and I spun around as there was feathers floating down.

      Then as the ending of the song was coming near, I took in a deep breath and easily registered my voice back to its normal ranged voice.

“Then just as I asked you, you’ll repeat those same words to shaky lips to me

‘When will the end come?’

Together we draped ourselves in the radiance of our love

For a love to exist like this, it must be eternal

Something this good just had to last for all eternity

You and I will for all eternity

There’s no need for a key once the door is unlock

My heart will always be open for you even when you leave

Simply because our love will last for all eternity

‘There is no end to an eternity. We have eternal love. We have eternity’

[Eternity]”
      There was that lovely chant from the fans below and I couldn’t help but smile so happily till I had to return back stage. “Daebak! I thought only IU could reach the fourth octave! I heard my manager say and the rest of the staff was looking at me with proud eyes.

       “Thank you,” I said respectfully and bowed my head to the people that was watching me, which were the show staffs and other groups who would perform later.

      My eyes were searching for Taeyeon, the person who I did all of this for. I’ve worked so hard…I hope she at least admires for me as an artist…if not for me.

      When I had entered one of the dressings rooms, my eyes slightly widened with surprise.

       There was Taeyeon sitting in a fold up chair with her arms crossed as she was looking up at the TV that was streaming live recording of Inkigayo.

       For some reason, my feet were glued to the floor when I opened the door as she turned her head slowly to me with a blank expression.

       When she stood up, my eyes couldn’t help but look up and down at her, since she was still wearing the same outfit she wore on stage.

       With the sound of her heeled boots, she walked up to me with eyes that were just as expressionless, but then she slipped a smile to me, a wicked smile.

        “You call that a ing debut with your pretty little dancers and high pitch notes? What, you thought I would cry and agree that we are eternal? This is exactly why I hate you Jessica Jung,” She told me harshly and somehow my icy heart managed to be cracked right down in the center.

       I was just too shocked from her words as she pushed pass me to get out the room, but I still turned around with my entire body shaking.

        “Do you not know how hard I worked?!” I exclaimed as I as becoming angry with tears threatening to fall and cause the greatest earthquake that mankind has ever had.

       Taeyeon nonchalantly turned around with a cool demeanor and looked me in my eyes.

        “You should’ve worked a little less, because that was just pitiful. There’s no doubt you will lose. You’re not worthy as SNSD’s leader or even a member. We all hate you anyway,” She was speaking of hate…for the first time.

        “W-Why do you hate me?” I asked whispering, because I was losing my mind…losing my will.

         “The answer to all your questions is in my video. I suggest you watch it at least nine times. You’ll probably figure out a thing or two,” She said and laughed lightly, while looking at me with superiority, before she began to turn away.

         “Ani. I don’t need to know. I don’t even care anymore. Just as my solo is meaningless to you, then yours is also to me. You think you are the queen of the world now Taeyeon? You think you rule the world like you always wanted to because you sat in a throne before a few hundreds of people? If so, you are a fool. We live in a democratic country and the people always vote for their ruler, just like they will with us.  Because, of your thinking now, you will fall. This is why you were never the leader of Girls Generation,” I told her and I hit a nerve strongly as she stormed up to me, with wide angry eyes.

          “Watch your mouth!” She exclaimed and she drew attention from the stylists coming out of rooms, racing over to us. “What’s going on?!” They asked, but I never took my eyes off of Taeyeon’s own.

          “You know it’s true. From the very beginning, I was supposed to be the leader of Girls Generation. Even now, who do you think the girls will vote for now? You talk about betrayal and yet you are betraying everyone from me, Ailee, Baekhyun and even –“my words were cut off immediately when she slapped my face and my eyes met the floor.

           “Yah! Taeyeon stop this!” The woman said and pulled Taeyeon back, but I just smiled when she slapped me.

            “You just prove yourself right, don’t you?” I mocked her, using her weakness against her and she gritted her teeth in anger, but couldn’t speak as elders were getting involved.

            Not even bothering to change out of my outfit, I had walked past her in a quick stride that was filled with so much fury; I swore I left fire behind myself.

           When I made it inside of my car, I slammed the door shut and literally screamed while I gripped my steering wheel hard enough to make my hands sweat in the process.

           I’ll show her that all of this wasn’t for nothing. My nights of insomnia and days of heart break won’t be something that will go in vain.

           I won’t bother breaking through that pride of hers; it will be Taeyeon who will be begging to escape it later on.

           I’ll just wait, just like I’ve been doing before.

           Ha, what was I expecting from her just because I released a good song and video? I should have known, just like my manager and CEO told me. Even Jaejoong told me this was our fate, because we weren’t changing anything.

           No, I’ve always known. I just didn’t want to face the truth, because being in an imaginary world was exciting and yet calming. Not till it turned into a nightmare, that was when it become torturous and even horrendous. I wouldn’t live like that anymore. I won’t let us live like that.

By the time I completely see everything for the way it is, I’ll probably have to rip out my other eye. I guess it would be best to be blind since this world so ugly.

           Every thought that rushed in my mind was filled with resentment, melancholy or flat out disappointment. There was no resting station in my mind and I was dying to find that spot in my mind.

           The only person I could think to reach out to was Jaejoong. He told me that he would be at my every beck and call.

           I was already speeding down the streets and took a turn to stop in a random parking lot, before I would kill myself and I could care less about the police. the police.

           With a huff, I snatched my phone out my purse that was in the passenger’s side of the seat and went to my contacts, calling JJ.

           There were a few rings and that hurricane in my heart was just getting wilder and wilder by the very second.

           Finally, the call was answered and that hurricane vanished instantly, saving the corruption to happen in my heart.

            “Hello,” He spoke so sweetly and I thought the world was blossoming with roses in every region.

            “Jaejoong…” I dragged his name out as if it was so painful to say, because it simply was.

            “W-What’s wrong?” He asked me with worry soaking in his voice and I smiled softly. Someone was worrying for me now…someone didn’t actually want to hurt me.

            “Can I see you?” I asked him and he hummed instantly and I could tell he was quite shocked at my sudden request.

            “O-Oh, of course. I was on my way home just now. Where are you? Do you want me to pick you up or do you want to go somewhere else?”

           He was starting to rain a million questions on me, but I just shook my head as if he could see me.

            “Ani. I’ll meet you at your place,” I told him and started my car again, to only drive out the parking lot at the right speed limit.

           After hanging up when we agreed to meet at his place, I began to silently cry as I drive down the streets of Seoul.

           I was always told that there was a pathway to every destination. Yet, why can’t I find the path to Taeyeon’s heart? I thought…this song would do it. I prepared everything like it was our life and she saw it as trash.

           It even made her hate me…maybe I really shouldn’t have come back and then maybe Taeyeon could just dislike me…but not hate me.

           I tell myself not to care, but I can’t control my heart. I can’t control anything and that’s the very reason why I’m going crazy!

           When I got out of my car, I looked down at my feet, seeing I was still wearing the whit ballet flats with this short dress. I sighed and shook my head, to not care about how I look. Jaejoong would like me for me anyway. He always has.

           With one press to the elevators buttong, it opened up and I walked in the elevator.

           The moment I turned around, there was another woman walking in the elevator with the soft click of white pumps.

           She seemed to be quite wealthy and I saw her softly chuckle at me as she looked at me up and down. Did I really look that foolish?

            “You are Jessica Jung, right?” The wealthy looking woman asked me in her casual dark purple dress as she had a silver clutch pure in her hand, looking like a daughter of a chaebol.

            “Yes,” I spoke politely and managed to give her smile, before I looked away to press the floor I wanted to go to.

             “Do you not know who I am?” She asked and I could tell she was full of herself as I looked over at her to see her flipping her long black hair back.

            I rose my shoulders up and one eyebrow as I was thinking, but nothing came out this useless brain.

             “I’m sorry…I don’t,” I told her and she gasped with her hand going over .

             “Since I’ve just been chosen…I suppose you wouldn’t know me just yet. I’m the 2015 Miss Korea, Kim Soo Yeon,” She told me and my mouth fell.

      “Ohhhh, I see then. Nice meeting you,” I told her and she gave a cheeky smile making her eyes small as she nodded in reply.

     That was when the elevator suddenly opened and I gave her a bow before I walked out…but I swear she was following me.

     When I found myself having enough, I turned around and gave her an awkward smile, which caused her lady like steps to came to a halt.

      “I’m sorry…but may I ask why are you following me?” I asked her and she titled her head as if she was confused.

      “I’m sorry as well sweetie, but I’m not following you. The door you are in front of is my boyfriend’s apartment,” She said and covered again as she chuckled almost creepily.

     “B-Boyfriend?” I asked in disbelief as I turned my head, seeing Jaejoong’s apartment door.

     “Yes. I’m sure you know him. His name is Kim Jaejoong. You know the rock star,” She said and did a rock star hand sign.

     What was going on? Jaejoong already had a girlfriend and it was Miss Korea at that?

     In the midst of her shyness and my confusion, there was the main man of the event walking down the hallway and his eyes widened at the sight of us.

     I guess it’s true. All men are alike and that even include your first boyfriend.

     There was no need for explanation. I’m use to being hurt by other people.

     What did I expect out of a man that broke up with me in a playground over success? I am a damn fool.

      “S-Sooyeon…Jessica,” Jaejoong called out both of our names and Miss Korea turned around with an excited expression.

      “Jae-Baby!” She called out some disgusting nickname and I literally bit down so hard on my tongue that I thought it was bleeding.

     Jaejoong was completely speechless as he was looking at me with that woman hugging him around his neck.

     I simply just shook my head and took in a deep breath before I gained the strength to walk past them all together.

     When I did so, he pulled Miss Korea off his neck and came behind me, in which she started to call out Jaejoong’s name.

“Jessica, let me explain,” He used the same old line that all men in this world would say when they got caught cheating and I buried the tears deep inside my heart, knowing that they will come back from the dead like zombies on my face later. They always did.

     I turned around to him, saving the wrist grabbing and dramatic turns as I looked up at him with angry eyes.

      “Explain how she’s your girlfriend?” I asked him with a smile, knowing that this was the only way I wouldn’t crumble before his eyes.

     He delivered a long sigh from his lips and looked away towards Miss Korea who was waltzing her way over here.

     I won’t let what happened to Taeyeon happen to me. I won’t cry out in the hallways. I have pride too Taeyeon, but I see now that pride covers different areas in life.

     Saving some embarrassment for the both of us, I walked away and walking away is the most important thing a person could learn in life, because it wasn’t the easiest thing to do. Yes, god blessed us with the legs to do so, but the will comes from our own decisions.

     I was back at step one, by being in my car, driving with no particular destination on these roads of Seoul and I would look up every now and then to see the night sky, catching stars in my eyes and letting them twinkle down my cheeks so prettily.

     The only friend I had was that same old wine at an expensive bar for VIP’s only.

     At least I knew better to not go out at BBQ stands and drink Soju for fans to come monopolize and torture me.

     Was Taeyeon some type of masochist? No, she’s too strong for that. She would be a sadist more than anything and oh, how did she hurt me so much. I’m sure she’s laughing about me now as I drink myself another glass.

     Even thought wine lost its taste, it never did lose its feeling I suppose…just like Jaejoong told me.

     Why are all these bad people filling my mind now? Is it because they were the only people I had in my life? Wow…I really need to get out more. I really need to.

     With a soft smack to my lips, I lifted up the bottle of wine and poured it in the glass, watching how the red liquid spill so perfectly in the glass. This was one thing I wasn’t lazy about.

     Drinking about my fifth glass, I was already seeing the sun on the ceiling, but wait, wasn’t I inside?

     Oh, that Jaejoong think he is all that now since he has Miss Korea? Who does he think he is to fool with my heart twice?

     Does he not know that I’m a fighting machine when I’m not an idol? With multiple huffs, I managed to get my phone out my purse and sloppily pressed on his name.

     With my head leaning over I placed the phone against my ear as my other hand was bringing the glass to my lips, drinking the last of its contents.

      “Hello?” I heard him answer and I immediately went off on him. “Yah! You jackass, I’m going to kick your ! You think you can go around dating anyone you want!? You think you are all that!?”

      “Are you drunk?” He asked me with a tired voice and I instantly threwthe wine glass across at the bartender who dodged it.

      “What’s it to you!? Are you worried I might kick your !?” I exclaimed and he sighed once more.

      “Hey. Please refrain from throwing the glass,” The bartender told me and I slammed the phone down as I stood up.

      “What’s it to you too?! I can throw glass or two if I want!” I shouted and picked up the wine bottle, throwing it down on the floor loudly, in which a woman down from the bar screamed.

      “Look here, you need to calm down,” the bartender spoke with an angry vibe and came around the bar area to stand in front of me.

     As if I was pointing a sword at him, my index finger aimed at him as my voice raised up.

      “Do you want to fight me too!? Are you a villain too!?” I exclaimed and his eyebrows scrunched up, in which he grabbed my hand to stop me, but he took me too lightly, because I already threw a punch at him under his jaw, making him knock out immediately.

     There were horrific sounds of people gasping and I simply reached over the counter, grabbing me another bottle before I went to sit down. Using the cork screw, I took the top off and crossed my legs before I picked up my phone.

      “Yah, you still there you jackass?!” I spoke as my eyes were getting blurry and I drunk from the bottle upside down in my mouth.

      “Where are you?” He asked me and I laughed so quickly, that wine spewed past my lips on my chun.

     I rubbed my mouth and looked to my right seeing a couple of men coming before me, wearing the shirts of the bar name on it.

      “I’m at Moon River. Come in five minutes and get ready to have your kicked,” I told him and hung up the phone to deal with these stalkers.

      “What? You want an autograph?” I asked them and looked away in disbelief.

      “We would like you to leave please,” he spoke to me seriously and I turned my head back to him with my eyebrow arching up.

      “Are you saying that I’m the bad guy?” I was speaking with a slur in my voice, but I was surprised to still be kicking it at this point.

     Usually, I would already be out by the third glass. Maybe this wine was weak or maybe it lost its ‘feel’.

      “You have caused a disturbance at our bar. We would like for you to leave,” He told me and I began laughing as I held my stomach.

      “Me? Disturbance? Didn’t I just save the world from that felon? Do you not know who I am? I am Jessica from the super hero league Girls Generation. I come to save everyone lives,” I told him and gave him a cheeky smile, before I lifted the bottle up to my lips, taking another sip of the wine.

     It seemed what I told him worked as he went over to a phone that was ringing from the bar.

     With a small hum, I kept making it my goal to get drunker, but I wasn’t feeling anything more. This wine has lost its taste and feel…just like me.

     Suddenly, I heard a voice behind me.

      “Are you going to kick my now?” He asked and when I turned around, I literally almost jumped over the bar counter when I saw a face I wasn’t nearly expecting.

      “W-Why are you here?” I asked with my tongue being heavy, causing a blubbery sound this time.

      “You called me. I came. Sheesh. I even tried calling Taeyeon and even Krystal, but both of them aren’t answering their phones. Anyhow, see this as fan service,” He told me and I literally wanted to punch him.

     I mean what is stopping me besides that charming face, but that cockiness behind it really needed to go.

      “I meant to call for Jaejoong, not you Jiyong. Go away,” I spoke like a baby and turned around in my little corner, holding on to my bottle.

      “You are seeing Jaejoong? I thought he was dating Miss Korea. Wow, I never knew you were a sly fox behind that class,” He told me something I already knew and when he took a seat next to me, I scooted over on another stool.

      I could hear him softly chuckle and then ask the bartender, “Can I get two Winston Cocktails?”

      Immediately, I turned my head and looked at him in his fashionable attire of light green blazer over a white corduroy shirt, green plaid jeans and lastly his shiny black shoes.

      My eyes looked back up at his alluring eyes that I suddenly felt like punching, but I held off on that as I was squeezing my empty wine bottle like it was my baby.

       “I don’t want anything from you,” I told him as I began rocking myself and he just laughed lightly.

      He then took a look at the two cocktail glasses that was before him filled with some honey brown colored type of drink. What was it called again? Winston Cocktail?

       “Why? Is it the same reason you broke up with me…oh how long has it been…hmm thirteen years ago?” He asked me with his eyes looking up to think and then he looked at me, before he pushed one of the glasses over to me.

       “Yes,” I spoke boldly and sat up properly, naturally abandoning my wine bottle for the glass that I was looking at curiously. What was this concoction?

       “Really?” He asked in disbelief and I peeked over at him, seeing him take a sip of the cocktail with ease. It seemed safe to drink. So far he isn’t a villain just yet.

      With a deep inhale, I took the glass and sniffed it. Well, it smelled quite elegant and refined.

       “Of course,” I said and sat the glass down, but the drinker inside of me was calling for it, almost begging for it.

       “You never told me why you broke up with me back then. That’s a question that’s been in the back of my head since forever,” He began talking some rubbish and I touched the glass again, letting the alcohol dancing around in the glass.

      I then looked up at him and gave a gullible chuckle. “It’s the same reason why YG is scared of you and kisses your ,” I told him and you should’ve seen the expression on his face.

        “W-What…how do you know about that!?” He began asking me, but it was too late.

       I already sipped this drink and my throat was on fire! How the hell did he ing drink this so easily without even blinking or tear washing down his throat.

        “Yah, you answer me!” I heard Jiyong pestered me and grabbed my arm.

       Wrong move buddy and by reflex I struck my hand out with the lights dimming out on me. All I know my fist hit something soft and delicate, but gnashed against something hard the next moment, which could have been Jiyong’s cheek. Hopefully, he’ll survive that punch. I need someone to take me home.

***

        “Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!” I heard someone repeating to me over and over in my sleep.

       My eyes remained shut as I twisted my head back and forth, but I sat up quickly when cold water was suddenly splashed on my face.

        “Ah!” I yelped with wide eyes and my heart pounding in sudden terror.

       I happened to see it was now morning with the light streaming through the windows, but I couldn’t even think what was the last thing to happen with my the center of my head blooming in pain.

        “Yah Jessica!” I heard that same annoying voice and was reminded that I was now home at our parent’s house.

       With a slightly blurry vision, I looked over at a thin female and recognized it to be Krystal.

       Scaring me even more with her face, she grabbed my shoulders and shook me as if she was out of her mind.

        “Why did Jiyong bring you home!? Why were you drinking with him!?” She exclaimed and used the palm of my hand to hit her forehead, in which she was pushed away.

        “Back off,” I came off strongly in my words and gripped my head, wanting to snatch my hair from this pressure just getting worse inside.

        “Answer me!!!” She was screaming and fell down on her knees.

        “Yah! Why are you overreacting!?” I exclaimed and looked down to see tears streaming down her face.

        I wanted to say more, but I just placed my hand on my forehead as I looked away, knowing this was the result of my hangover.

        In the process I remembered what happened last night with my drinking, punching and Jiyong was there…he did take me home, right? Well according to Krystal he did.

         “Why are you crying?” I managed to ask and took a couple of deep breaths, before I knew I would start throwing up.

        Was she being emotional now that she thought I was seeing Jiyong or something? I mean come on Krystal. You know me better than anyone, literally.

         “I’m not crying for the reason you think I am. I know you aren’t dating or even seeing him. I know that…but they don’t…everyone thinks my sister is a ,” Krystal said and looked up at me, while holding as she regret what she was saying.

         “W-What are you talk-“ I was going to ask, but my stomach put a cease to my words and leaded me to run to the bathroom, spewing out everything from the inside of my body, but somehow the problems was still there when I walked out.

        Krystal was still in the room and I saw the back of the pale pink jacket that had the letter K on it, which was what I made for her as she wore blue jeans and a white crop top.

        I ran my hand through my blue hair that was in a disgusting mess and I looked down at the clothing that I was still wearing from the Inkigayo stage yesterday. My life is really a mess.

         “Now…what were you talking about?” I asked Krystal with a voice filled with fatigue as I took a seat back on my bed. Her eyes were slightly reddened as she came to take a seat next to me.

         “You were at the bar with Jiyong…and someone from the inside took a video. It even showed him putting you in his car when you were drunk. It’s all over the place!” She exclaimed and lowly screamed as if she was losing her mind.

        No, now my life was truly a mess. Please take my advice for anyone out there…don’t ever drink.

        When Krystal left since she couldn’t contain herself, the first thing I grabbed was my phone and I madly scrolled to Naver.

        Then just like she said…it was all over the place, along with the other problems stirring in K-Pop.

G-Dragon & Baekhyun fight on ‘The Collaboration’ Over Taeyeon!

[ +19,434 / - 15,023] Baekhyun is just being so ing immature. Ugh, he already treats his exo members like , now he is missing with the King?! Out with his head then!

[ +17,954 / - 5,340 I can understand how Baekhyun is feeling…but that was uncalled for and I can say the same for GD.

[ +9,349 / - 10,923] Gdragon is a hoe and Baekhyun a , while Taeyeon is just trash. Problem solved.

Petition to oust Baekhyun from Exo gets over 10,000 signatures!

[ +20,402 / - 4,923] WOAH O.O IS THIS THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY THAT VIPS AND EXO-L’S JOIN HANDS!?

[ +9,230 / - 10,293] The ???? I’m about to go make one to oust GDruggie out then!

[ +10,303 / - 8,023] Oppa didn’t do nothing wrong!!! The fandom are traitors!!!

Baekhyun throws first pitch at baseball game and is booed by saesang fans?!

[ +11,240 / - 9,230] Why does he keeps showing his face out in the public after he attacked GD! Is he ing crazy!?He is already wanted DEAD!

[ +8,230 / - 9,122] He deserved it and brought bad luck on the team to lose!

[ +12,043 / - 10,324] This is just freaking ridiculous. Is Baekhyun a person who can’t love and get angry too?

Jessica of SNSD & G-Dragon of Big Bang caught having an affair at a bar !? + [Video]

[ +20,230 / - 5,203] Why the hell is this video edited so much?! Something is to damn fishy about this.

[ +18,954 / - 2,320] WOAH. I can see why Taeyeon hates Jessica so much now O.O she a hoe.

[ +19,324/ - 4,943] How can this even be called an affair?! It just showed them drinking together and him helping her out!

     My mind was already spinning around in circles and I let my hand drop to the bed, with the phone slipping from my fingers.

     There really was a fire behind my back all this time and finally it engulfed me in its misery.

     How can I even get myself out of this?

     I also had taken notice that I had gotten many notifications from my Instagram account and as if I was some type of masochist, I clicked on it to read the words I knew that would be like rocks thrown at me.

‘Sica don’t tell me this is true, right? You’ve been role model all this time!!! You can’t…be like they say.’

‘I knew you were a damn all this time! Go ing die!’

‘I’ve hated on Taeyeon all this time because I felt she did something wrong against you, but now I see why. You are a ing traitor from the very beginning you left SNSD for your stupid fashion line. Did you and cheat around for that to!?’’

     A rough exhale forced passed my lips as I slammed my phone down on the bed and I looked up, biting on my bottom lips as tears ran down my face and dried slowly, wanting to hide in shame also.

     They are all misunderstanding me…everyone was misunderstand me. God please.

     My tears were trying to possibly console me, but I found myself mourning from my lips instead.

     Is this what it felt like to be hated when everyone you thought loved you? I see how easy it is for friends to become enemies. I now see.

      ‘You call that a ing debut with your pretty little dancers and high pitch notes? What, you thought I would cry and agree that we are eternal? This is exactly why I hate you Jessica Jung.’

     Ring, Ring, Ring. There was the repetition of my phone, that sounded as it was crying like a newborn baby as I lay cradled up in my bed, trying to talk some sense to myself in my head, but all those multiple egos in my head were crying also.

     I didn’t plan for anything to turn out like this, but then again when could I plan life’s events for me?

     I had only managed to answer my phone later when I found the well inside of me had ran dry, so I didn’t have a source for anymore tears, but it would refill back up soon enough.

      “Hello,” I said in a gloomy voice as if I was the living dead to Mr.Youngmin, while I turned my head to look at the food Krystal left for me on the bedside dresser.

      “Yah!? Do you not know how many times I’ve called you!? The stocks have fallen!!!! What is this about you meeting up with G-Dragon!? Are you seeing him secretly?” His voice was getting louder and louder by the minute, but I just blankly looked at the steaming bowl of soup since I felt completely lifeless.

      “No…I just went for a drink and I accidently called him. He came and drank with me. After that I fell out and just as the pictures look, he put me in his car and I woke up in my parents’ home,” I told him with a tragic sigh.

     Would he tell everyone that in a statement? Would the damage be undone now? I’m sure Taeyeon just hated me more now.

      “That’s it?” He asked me in disbelief and I guess he believed the web of rumors as well.

      “Yes…that’s it,” I told him and sat up slowly in the bed, with every spot on my body aching as if I just was stoned by the world so I could fall to my death. But, I was still living and breathing I suppose.

      “I see…I will release a statement that you called for GD to discuss things about The Collaboration, but you became drunk. He then took you to your home. That should clear a lot of this up then,” He told me as if he was opening a door of escape from the world, but there was no such thing.

      “Okay,” I breathed softly.

      “I won’t let this affect your promotion cycle either and ‘The Collaboration’ recording time. Today I will cancel any of your appearances, but tomorrow make sure you return for competition on the music bank and recording for The Collaboration since you did nothing well. So far, Taeyeon’s song had topped the charts while you are behind,” He told me and I no longer wanted to hear anymore.

     Not even caring for manners of respect, I brought the phone off my ear and pressed the button to hang up. Even my hand felt as weak while I laid down the phone, but suddenly there was another call.

    ‘Incoming Call From Taeyeon’

     That wasn’t a person I wasn’t expecting to call me at all, but…she hated me. I wouldn’t force her to love me anymore.

     I’ve decided that I’m done with everything. I don’t care who tops the charts or not.

     With a sigh, I picked my phone back up and took the battery out of it, not answering her or anyone else. I had even saw Jaejoong called me multiple times, but what was the point?

     I then decided to eat the soup that Krystal brought in for me. There wasn’t a single thing I could do make matters better, but of course I could make it worse. I could always do that.

***

     After staying home the entire day yesterday, I my wounds and just followed the directions of SM as if I was puppet. I mean that’s how he wanted us to be from day one.

     We would work and act like how he wanted us to be. We had to be this certain type of image. We had to dance or sing this way.

      If we didn’t, then we wouldn’t make the cut.

     I guess that’s why I was removed from SNSD originally, because I tried cutting the strings. I wanted things to be my way. I drifted away from the original system and I guess this is my punishment for wanting to make my dreams a reality.

     As I was already dressed in a pale pink loose dress, that had multiple layers of see through material and stopped at my mid thighs along with white sparkly stockings, and pink ballet shoes, I was walking through the backstage of the Music Bank building.

     This backstage was slightly smaller and that meant the stages would be simpler also compared to Inkigayo stages, but it didn’t matter to me.

     Actually, this entire thing was meaningless now. I wasn’t even making this song for the fans to like, but for the person walking my way now.

      “Jessica! Why haven’t you been answering my calls!?” She exclaimed to me and just looking at her face made me want to cry, but my makeup was already done, so I couldn’t cry, right?

     People looked our way with big eyes and I just inhaled for some strength.

     I turned toward her and my manager told me a few words, before he went away. “You are on in three,” He reminded me.

     I looked towards Taeyeon then, seeing her with hair in a high blonde pony tail that matched the theme of her flared leather black skirt, red boots and loose white shirt that was in the style of a hanbok.

     I’m sure Taeyeon has already heard the released statement from SM, but the look she gave me told me she didn’t believe it.

     Especially since the video that was spread online, cut out the part I punched Jiyong in the face, but I had fallen into his arms.

     It was like the same dirty trick SM editors had done to the latest episode of The Collaboration.

     They cut out the part, where Jiyong and Baekhyun actually hit one another, but showed them being pulled apart. I told you Karma was rigged.

      “Are you going to mess with everything that belongs to me now?!” She asked me, losing her cool instantly and I softly swallowed since I was really unsure what to say.

      “You know what Taeyeon…” I began to say, with my emotions talking for me rather than the logic of mind.

     With my finger pointing at her and then I lowered it with a silly smile before I continued.

      “You can just have everything…you can have it all,” I said as it was so easy and I was becoming defeated right before her in everyone eyes.

     This battle that I’ve been fighting was a battle I was going to lose from the very beginning and I knew it.

      “W-What?” She asked confused and looked at me crazily, while tears were surfacing in my eyes just like I knew they would also.

      “You can have this show all to yourself. You don’t have to compete with me anymore. SNSD is yours. I’m leaving…I’ll break the contract and whatever else it takes to stop hurting you!”  I nearly screamed as my face was turning red from the outburst of sudden emotions.

     Instantly, I my feet and turned the opposite direction to leave, but her words always tugged me back in her direction.

      “Is this how you are going to do it without even properly fighting me Jessica!?” She exclaimed at me as if no one was around us to hear or even witness this fight. I suppose they weren’t really there, since this was a battle only between two people here. Right now in this world, it was just her and me.

      Even my skin was crawling in fear and even disgust at myself giving up at this point, but I reached my limit. I’ve tried playing the villain for once, but that wasn’t me. I’m really confused on my identity at this moment now. Who am I? What have I been doing all this time?

       “You made all of us look like the damn bad guy when you know you were the one to neglect us first! We forced you to leave; we pushed you out and look now you are running away? Why? Because, I said I hate you? Because, I said your song was ?” She asked me and I heard her laugh in disbelief and my manager came up behind me, grabbing my arm.

        “You two stop this! Jessica, get to the stage now,” My manager told me, but I was still frozen with my emotions cracking outside that icy heart of mines.

        “You believe everything I say, because I say it? You are so foolish. If I knew you were going to be like this. I would have never taken that bottle of water from you that day I met you. You’re a ing disgrace as a friend, member, idol and even more a person I use to look up to,” she sliced me up in a million pieces with her sharp words and I then heard her turn around, striding away angrily.

       I couldn’t control myself anymore as I shut my eyes and my mouth formed the ugliest shape as I sobbed uncontrollable.

       Even my own legs became weak, but my manager held me up as I just continued letting the rain fall hard.

       They use to say that when the rain comes, the ground gets hard, but my ground has become a soaked marsh land and will eventually become an ocean. That ocean will be my grave of tears.

***

       I’ve learned another valuable lesson today…that I was nothing but a big disappointment, simply because I didn’t go out on that stage. I was just as she said.

‘You’re a ing disgrace as a friend, member, idol and even more a person I use to look up to.’

      With a soft nod in agreement with her words, I rose my hand up, wiping away a tear that was replaced with another as I looked up in the night sky in the backseat of a van that was being driven by my manager.

       “You’ve won Taeyeon,” I whispered to myself and smiled up at the stars in the sky, knowing she would have loved to hear this because she loved to win. It’s really sad to see our friendship- no our life to have become this monopoly, this game.

      My head then drifted down to look in my lap where my phone was and I saw the screen light up as water droplets slipped on it at the same time.

‘Incoming Call from Blanc & Eclare Office’

Did they put the papers through to remove Tyler from office and withdraw the shares from him yet? I had told them to do so the day after that incident with him and Jaejoong.

       “Yes?” I answered the phone and looked out at the window again, loving the night sky particularly tonight.

       “Hello Ms. Jung. I had filed the files to withdraw Tyler, but he resigned of his own and returned the stocks,” She told me and I was slightly surprised Tyler actually did as I said.

       “W-What?” I asked in disbelief and my mind was taken away from the pain I was just traumatized with.

       “Tyler Kwon resigned yesterday and the acting president has filled in, but there is something going on seriously here since yesterday,” She told me.

       “What happened?” I asked and I had this terrible gut feeling and my gut was always right.

        “The acting president tried taking care of the issue, but he has failed at all attempts. There has been an investigation going on at all the headquarters of Blanc and Eclare for illegal criminal activity since there was a report from a former worker that we covered up her case and had mafia ties,” she said and literally my heart was put on breaks, sending my soul to hurl out my body in a state of shock.

        “There is also another issue Ms. Jung. It seems as if we are being attacked ever since Tyler left,” She told me and I was already thinking at what type of criminal activities could have been held against Blanc & Eclare with the mafia? D-Did that bastard do some type of extortion or even worst sold drugs secretly?

     “W-What is it?” I asked as I was now being parked in the front of my apartment building.

      “There is a lawsuit being processed against Blanc and Eclare for plagiarism of the 2014 Men’s Collection by a British designer,” She told me and that was when I knew Tyler was precisely the person behind this. He was the one that helped me design my fashion for that line, but told me to credit only myself. Did he set that up as a trap on purpose? That son of a !

      “The acting president had blocked the articles by third parties from getting out, but it will be officially released by the police department and law officials’ tomorrow morning. I’m sorry Ms. Jung,” She lowered her voice in an apologetic voice and I was gripping so hard on the seat in the front of me, I thought I would rip the leather off the seat.

      “I-I see…where is the situation going now?” I asked and my manager looked back at me, reminding me that I was back at my place.

     With a bow to my head at him, I opened the door of the van and got out.

     It wasn’t in the least of my intention, but my anger came out when I slammed the door hard enough to make the rest of the van shake.

      “The headquarters building has been off limits to anyone but the police department. They say there are looking through all materials to see if the claims are true and that they have found leads. Other buildings in Paris, China, and Seoul will be also looked through by tomorrow. As for the lawsuit there are proofs that you have plagiarized and most likely will have a call to court soon if not sooner by the former workers case. If ties are found to Blanc and Eclare with the mafia, you will be taken by the police,” She just told me about a million ways the world will end and I knew there was no way I could block each of those.

       “T-Tyler is behind this,” I tried telling her as I was getting in the elevator of the apartment building.

       “For all this incidents to be happening after his leave it must be so, but the blame will go on the CEO first which is you. All I can advise you to do Ms. Jung is to tell the police that,” She told me and I ran my hand through my hair as I looked away from the closing elevator doors.

       “Yes, I know, but with what proof?! What leads do they have that my company is tied with the mafia!?” I began exclaiming and I felt awful for yelling at my secretary.

       “I-I’m sorry Ms. Jung. I don’t know about that. I’m sorry,” she began apologizing and I felt so awful, no ten times as awful and I began beating my head against the elevator.

       “It’s okay. I’ll handle all of this,” I told her and lowered the phone from my ear, to let my arm swing by my side as my head rested against the elevator wall.

       Blanc & Eclare was all I had left. I’ve already lost everything that I wanted which was SNSD, love, friendship, fans, trust and I can’t lose her, not Blanc & Eclare.

       If I did…I really will kill myself this time and that way I won’t have to worry about finding a time machine to reverse time anymore.

       The elevator had dinged and I opened my eyes to reality painfully and guided myself out into the hallway.

       When I was approaching my door, fear was rejuvenated in the flesh as I saw two bulky men standing there wearing black.

       I had stopped in my steps with wide eyes and that was when they took a notice of me and turned towards me, with rough faces as if they were waiting for me.

       But, it was really that golden badge they lifted in front of my face that was waiting for me.

        “Jessica Jung, we are here to take you for suspicion of criminal activity tied with Blanc & Eclare,” the officer told me as if they were doing the world a favor now.

        Nonetheless, the impact from those words destroyed every nerve in my body system and I couldn’t even bring myself to fight them as they took me by my arms, guiding me to the depths of hell that was welcoming me more than heaven and even earth ever would.