Ahmad couldn’t stop talking during our drive back to the dorm.

 

“Your mom told me that phone calls weren’t allowed, so I went crazy,” he babbled. “I wrote you a letter, but you didn’t reply. Didn’t it drive you insane? Not being able to contact any of your friends? I know--”

 

“No, not really,” I cut him off, feeling slightly irritated. “Besides, Adityaa called us through Facetime.”

 

Ahmad was speechless for a second. “Facetime. Of course! Why didn’t I try that?” He facepalmed himself. “But...if you knew about Facetime, why didn’t you use it?” He pulled up to the dorm, switching off the ignition before turning to face me.

 

I unbuckled my seatbelt. “I was busy,” I muttered as I slipped out of the car. “I was having too much fun to remember. I’m sure that you understand that feeling, don’t you?” Slamming the car door, I stormed towards the building.

 

Kai opened the door for me, with Sehun accompanying him. “You feeling better?” The two chorused.

 

I gave them a weary smile. “Just tired. Where’s Chanyeol?”

 

“Just lying in bed, last time I checked,” said Sehun. “He hasn’t been sleeping well, if at all.”

 

I hung my coat. “What about Jessica?”

 

Kai frowned. “Not sure,” he said. “Suho and Kyungsoo took her to the Winter Carnival, but they’ve returned. She’s retreated to your bedroom and doesn’t seem to have any intention of coming out.”

 

This was news. The Jessica I knew would have been overflowing with energy by now, dying to tell me about her day with Kyungsoo.

 

Something was wrong.

 

Before that, however, I needed to talk to Chanyeol. “Would it be okay if I went to talk to him?” I asked.

 

“Natasha?”

 

My heart jumped. Staring past Kai’s shoulder, I locked eyes with Chanyeol. He was disheveled, red-eyed from lack of sleep. Nevertheless, he looked happy to see me. “Chanyeol,” I breathed. Suddenly, I felt an overwhelming urge to cry.

 

Before I could run and engulf him in a hug, the door was flung open behind me. “Hey, I brought supper too,” I heard Ahmad protest behind me. “I wanted to visit before leaving.”

 

I closed my eyes, heaving a deep sigh. So this was how it would end.

 

“Oh,” Chanyeol uttered. He gazed at the stranger who stood behind me. “Who is that?”

 

I felt Ahmad slide an arm around my waist. “Who is that?” he repeated. “I’m her boyfriend of 2 years. Who are you?”

 

Chanyeol was caught off guard. “Natasha, you never told me you had a boyfriend,” he said slowly, disbelieving.

 

“Wait, it’s that guy from the article,” Ahmad exclaimed, recognizing Chanyeol. “What’s up man. I’m her real lover.” He grinned, extending an arm for Chanyeol to shake. I managed a shaky smile, trying to mask the turmoil I felt inside. After shaking Chanyeol’s hand, Ahmad reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small pendant. “And this, darling, is for you. I forgot to give it to you in the hospital.” Ahmad smiled. “Add it to your necklace,” he added, eyeing it as it wrapped around my neck.

 

I took the gift, lightly wrapping my fingers around it. “Thank you,” I said quietly. “Look, I’m just going to take a long shower and go straight to bed. There’s no need to wait for me, okay?” I found Ahmad’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly, trying to convince him. “Just eat with the members before you leave.” Ahmad had told me that he would be staying at a nearby hotel until his departing flight.

 

“What kind of a host leaves her guest like this?” he whined. “Eat a bite or two.”

 

“I wasn’t expecting you to show up in the first place,” I retorted. “You’ll have to deal with the food yourself.” Disentangling myself from his embrace, I headed towards my room.

 

I felt myself brush against Chanyeol, but didn’t dare look at him.

 

Once I got to safety, I shut the door behind me. Jessica was sitting on her bed, cradling a miniature box. “Jessica,” I cried out.

 

“Oh my god,” Jessica sighed as we hugged. “It feels like we haven’t seen each other in forever.

 

I couldn’t stop the tears that poured out. “Jess, I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do,” I wailed, shaking.

 

Jessica sighed again as she handed me a tissue. “I don’t know either, Natasha. So much has happened.”

 

Ten minutes later, we were sitting across from each other on our individual beds. I had finished telling her about Ahmad’s unexpected arrival and following conversations. “Chanyeol’s probably thinking I’m a two-timer,” I sobbed. “This is so stupid. How did I even manage to forget about Ahmad?”

 

“Coming here, it’s been like a new world,” she admitted. “I’ve forgotten about everyone back in Canada too.”

 

We were silent for a moment. “Do you still like Ahmad?” Jessica asked quietly.

 

I looked at her, and saw my pain reflected in her expression. “I don’t know,” I confessed.

 

Ahmad had been close to my heart. In high school, I fell hard for him, writing small letters professing my interest in him and pasting them on his locker before the bell rang. He never paid much notice to them until he learned that I had been his admirer. In year twelve, we found ourselves conveniently placed beside each other in class. The small friendship we had developed incredibly rapidly, and we were dating before the first semester ended. It was a rushed relationship, but it had felt right. He couldn’t have been a better boyfriend. Everything had been perfect.

 

Until he left for Dubai.

 

It was a few days after our one year anniversary. Ahmad had packed up and boarded the plane, promising to call me as soon as he could. One day passed, then developed into one week. An entire month then followed without a single call from my boyfriend. I couldn’t contact him, and he wouldn’t contact me.

 

One day, his friend had posted a picture of Ahmad. My boyfriend was with a girl, and it wasn’t me.

 

I had tried to break up with Ahmad as soon as he returned to Canada. I remember the waves of tears and pain washing over me as I screamed at him over the phone. He didn’t deny anything, but begged for my forgiveness.

 

I never felt right about what had happened, but I let him back into my life. I had decided to forget about the entire incident, isolating it from my memories. No matter how angry I was, I had still needed him. He had been my everything.

 

Even now, nothing had changed. He was still the perfect boyfriend from 2 years ago.

 

However, I had changed.

 

I touched the pendant that lay on my chest. “I might sound stupid, but I don’t know if any of this is real,” I said, sniffling.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Our relationship with EXO. My feelings for Chanyeol. I know that I have some feelings for him, and he might have something as well. But are they genuine, like Ahmad’s fondness for me? Would Chanyeol be willing to stay by my side, even if I’m on the other side of the world?” I closed my eyes. “Would he still be mine, years later? Would he be holding on through his rollercoaster of increasing fame?” I paused. “Would I be patient enough for him?”

 

I opened my eyes to find Jessica curled up on her bed, holding her box. “I don’t know,” she mumbled. It appeared as though she was speaking to the box.

 

I crossed the bedroom, kneeling beside her bed. “Enough about me. Are you okay?” I asked, seriously concerned.

 

Jessica raised her eyes to meet mine. They held an apprehensive look.

 

“I think I’ve fallen for Minseok,” she answered quietly.