"Soojung-ah!"

Jongin's sister envelops her in a warm hug, smelling of sweet batter and maple syrup. "Hi, unni," Soojung mumbles into her shoulder. "I haven't seen you in a while." Jongin's poodles weave around her ankles, jumping up and down for her attention, and as soon as Jungah breaks the hug Soojung bends over and picks up Monggu.

"Yeah, you don't come and play anymore," Jungah replies, shuffling her in. "Sooyeon told me to expect you."

"Yeah." Soojung fishes in her jacket pocket and hands Jungah the invitation to her sister's bridal shower. "I can't believe she's getting married."

Jungah slides the envelope into a drawer. "Why don't you stay for breakfast? Sooyeon isn't home, is she?"

"No, but you know she's a horrible cook anyways," Soojung says and Jungah laughs. 

Soojung follows her to the kitchen and discards her jacket, draping it over a barstool. The thermostat is turned up pretty high even though it's practically spring. "Do you need me to do anything, unni?"

"You can cut some fruit up for me," Jungah says, flipping a pancake before getting out a chopping board. "Just take whatever from the fridge."

Soojung takes a couple of mangoes, apples and grapefruit. Halfway through peeling a mango, the poodles start a cacophony of barking. A familiar figure slouches into the kitchen and Soojung looks up to see her best friend wearing nothing but sweatpants. She tries hard not to stare. "Morning," he grunts and Soojung definitely does not like the way his morning voice sounds, low and husky. Nope.

"Hey," Soojung mumbles back, keeping her eyes on the fruit. Well, she doesn't want to cut a finger.

He stops right in front of her and stares through half-lidded eyes for about thirty seconds before saying, "Oh, Soojung's here..."

Soojung gives him an odd look before moving on to an apple. "Yes, I've been here since you first came in... This is not a good time for you to be awake, Jongin-ah."

"Yes, it's much too early," Jungah adds sarcastically. "Go back to bed."

"But noona, I'm starving," Jongin whines as he goes over to his sister and leans his forehead on her head. "I want a pancake."

"They're not done yet. Take an apple."

He leans in to grab a slice of apple, and Soojung tries not to be affected by the way his body brushes against hers. Of course, she blurts out, "Put on a shirt, Jongin."

He stares at her. "If you can convince Jungah-noona to turn down the thermostat, sure."

Jungah turns around to glare at him. "Your standards are outrageous. He'll only put on a shirt if it's fifteen degrees celcius or lower. Do you know that's basically the same temperature as it is outside?"

"Well, you're outrageous, too," Jongin retorts. "It's pushing thirty in here right now. And you're still wearing a cardigan."

Soojung doesn't push it or she knows they'll know something's wrong, but it's hard for her to stay level-headed while the shirtless Jongin stayed exactly where he was, hovering over her and grabbing apple slices as quickly as she was cutting them. "Do you still not like mangoes?"

"Mmhmm."

"Well, leave some apples for the rest of us," Soojung says, then startles when he holds one slice against her lips. Hesitantly, she opens and accepts it.

"There are some bananas in the cupboard above Soojung's head," Jungah chips in. "You can have one, kiddo. Soojung can cut the rest for the pancakes and waffles."

Jongin automatically reaches over Soojung's head and she ducks to avoid getting hit by the cupboard door, but ends up bumping her head against his chest. "Ow -- dude," she hisses as she rubs her head and her face flames crimson. That didn't hurt any less than if she were to hit the cupboard. The only difference was added embarrassment.

"Sorry," he mutters, and Soojung steps out of the way as he searches the top shelf. Without her fruit and knife, she was forced to stare at his lean, tanned torso and the muscles on his back. She tries to cool down her cheeks by pressing the backs of her hands to them, but that was especially inefficient in a room with the thermostat turned up high.

Jongin finds the bananas and Soojung reclaims her spot. For some reason, he stays hovering above her and it was a little distracting. "Jongin," she hisses, twisting around and attempting to swat him away but not wanting to touch his bare skin, resulting in her flailing around aimlessly. 

"What?" he mumbles over a mouthful of banana.

"Can you not -- can you please -- " She wasn't in a much more favorable position now, still flailing around in a futile attempt to get him to go away but stuck between facing his eyes or his chest. She wanted to tell him to stop disturbing her, but all that came out was, "Can you please put on a freaking shirt?"

"No, it's too hot, I said." Jongin an eyebrow. "What's your problem?"

Soojung vaguely hopes her cheeks have calmed down. "Don't stand so close to me." She glares up at him and feels like smacking that self-righteous smirk off his face. She grabs the knife and points it at him, and immediately he backs away. "Jeez, chill."

"Kids," Jungah warns from the waffle iron, and Soojung immediately remembers that she's in another person's household and apologizes, turning back to her fruit. "Jonginnie, why don't you make yourself useful and get out some plates and syrups instead of bothering Soojung."

"I wasn't bothering her," Jongin gripes but obeys his sister anyway.

They finish preparing for breakfast not long after that, and for some reason Jongin chooses to sit next to Soojung. He finishes his pancakes in three minutes and leaves his waffles, opting to hover over Soojung and try to steal bits of her pancakes. Soojung doesn't really get why he's acting so comfortable with her all of a sudden, like nothing's changed between them, and it doesn't help that she wasn't feeling completely comfortable around him at the moment. "Sit down and eat your waffles," she says through gritted teeth after almost having her eye poked out by his fork.

"But I like pancakes better."

"Too ba -- oh my God, can you please stay away from me?" Soojung yelps as she turns her face at the wrong time and almost collides against his.

Jongin ignores this and actually leans in closer, which prompted Soojung to slide her chair away from him and stand up. "What is your problem?"

He stares at her, wide-eyed, the picture of innocence. "Why are you being so weird all morning..."

Soojung glares at him. "Why am I being weird -- Did you just conveniently forget that you've been avoiding me for months, and then suddenly admit that you like me and kiss me when I'm still dating our other best friend, and then go right back to not looking me in the eye? And then this morning you suddenly decide to brush up against me half- multiple times and treat that as normal behavior? And I understand that our relationship is confusing right now, but shouldn't we be figuring it out together? Why are you making things even more confusing? I don't get you, I don't get you at all."

The room is completely silent by the end of her rant. Jungah is gaping at them, and Jongin is avoiding her eyes. He then picks up his plate of waffles and wordlessly stalks out of the room, his three poodles following closely.

Soojung turns to Jungah. "Unni, I'm so sorry, I just completely ruined breakfast -- I just -- "

"Sweetie, don't be sorry." Her eyes were concerned. "Are things really that bad between you two?"

Soojung looks at her and, for the first time, spills everything out.

There were two knocks on the door.

"Can I come in, Jongin-ah?"

"I don't want to talk about it, noona," Jongin mumbles into his comforter.

Jungah comes in anyway and sits on the bed. "Soojung and I had a talk."

Jongin doesn't respond. 

"So, if I may know, why were you acting so casual with her today considering you've been avoiding her?"

Jongin groans and rolls over. "I don't know, I was sleepy and not really thinking and somehow seeing her here again... It was like nothing ever happened and I miss that, I guess, so I... didn't think. I don't know."

Jungah sighs. "You're kind of stupid."

"Well, so is she!" Jongin sits up in protest. "How can she not realize that I like her? And how can she like me when she's with Taemin? And what am I supposed to do now -- after she ran out on me when I kissed her -- and no matter what he says, what about Taemin -- "

"Hey, hey, slow down, okay? You're overthinking this." Jungah his hair. "Jongin, she's your best friend. Why don't you just be honest with her? Tell her you don't know what to do. That you like her and miss the way you were, and you want... what do you want? I don't know. Why is that so hard? She'll appreciate that."

"The last time I was completely honest like that, we ended up kissing and that didn't actually... end well?"

"Jongin, you kissed her when she's still with Taemin, and you told her you liked her after months of her thinking you don't want to be her friend anymore. She was just confused. And -- I mean, you didn't have to kiss her -- "

"She said she liked me too, noona. She said it was never Taemin and it was me all along... how was I supposed to react to that? I wasn't expecting that at all so I... and she kissed me back..."

"I'm not saying you were wrong to. It just complicated things a little more than if you'd just talked... Look, you have to talk to her again, there is no other way around it. Think about it, really think about it, and talk to her when you're ready." She ruffles his hair and stands up. "It's your move, little brother."

*

Soojung was aimlessly channel-surfing when the doorbell rang. “Unni,” she yells out at her sister. “Sooyeon-unni.”

“For God’s sake, Soojung, you’re already downstairs — ”

“I just went out and got groceries!” Soojung retaliated. “And you left me alone all night and all morning so I’m already kinda mad at you!”

She hears her sister finally thumping down the stairs and chirps, “Thanks, lovely sis,” as Sooyeon stalks past her. She flops back on to the couch, thinking that peace and quiet is finally hers once more when Sooyeon suddenly says — in an all-too-chipper voice — “Soojungie, you have a guest!”

“What,” Soojung mumbles without taking her head off the cushion, still flicking past channels.

“Um… hi.”

Soojung stills. “What are you doing here?” She didn’t think he’d come see her so fast, not hours after she’d yelled at him. She immediately sits upright and pulls her long t-shirt further down her thighs.

“I wanted to try to… clear the air, once and for all.” Hesitantly, he walks closer to her. “Um, can I, sit…”

“Yeah, course.” She pats the other side of the couch and he sits, a foot away from her. “Look — um. I’m sorry for this morning. I just… When I saw you in my kitchen like that, it just made me feel like nothing happened between us, and I missed that, I guess. I missed you.”

Soojung crosses her legs under her, facial expressions unchanging. Jongin barges on. “I guess… I miss the way we were, but things are different now, so maybe we can’t… exactly be the way we were? Now that you know I like you, and… I know you like me, too. But in any case, I really want things to be good between us again, Soojung-ah.”

Soojung nibbles on her knuckle. “Me, too,” she says then. “But I don’t know what we should do. I mean… like you said. We can’t exactly go back to the way we were before. Because, there are, like, feelings now. And of course there’s Taemin…”

Jongin nods, hugging his legs to his chest and tucking his chin over his knee. “I know. And I know it’s been… barely a week? And I feel horrible about Taeminnie. I have felt horrible for a while, actually. Especially after the whole Seven thing. He’s been a saint and the last thing I want to do is take advantage of that.” 

Soojung sighs, before saying quietly, “I have to admit that he seems to be really rooting for us, though.”

“It feels like it.” Jongin smiles. “That weirdo.”

Soojung picks at a loose thread on the cushion. “Jongin… I just. I somehow… I feel like the next logical step should be to… date? But I… I don’t know how I feel about that, honestly. I mean — I’m not completely against the idea, but I — ”

“Whoa, hold on.” Jongin clears his throat. “Y’know, I don’t wanna suggest we start dating just like that. You probably still need some time to think things through, and, like I said. We can’t take advantage of Taemin’s… okayness with this whole situation. But, can’t we fix our friendship regardless? Not wanting to date shouldn’t be an excuse for us to keep on avoiding each other." Soojung sneaks a glance at him and finds that he’s already looking at her. “And I know I’ve avoided you for so long, because I didn’t know what to do, and I’m sorry. So I hope we can stop. And I promise to never avoid you like that again in the future.” He scoots a little closer to her. “Look, we can… we can just try to be friends again, with no expectations at all, and sort of let things fall back into place, y’know? We’ve been around each other for over a decade. I think we’ll be fine. And whenever you wanna, I don’t know, take things to the next level…” He gives her a little shrug. “I’m here.”

Soojung inches just a little closer to him, and when he opens his arms, she falls right into them. She buries her nose in his chest as he presses his cheek against the top of her head, and they stay like that for a long time, shy smiles and tangled legs, giving up trying to explain things in words and letting their bodies do the talking.

*

Soojung wakes up slightly disoriented, vaguely registering that she’s not in bed even though it’s dark and she had clearly been sleeping. It takes her a while to realize that she’d fallen asleep while cuddling on the couch with Jongin, and that her sister had probably seen them because there was a blanket draped over their bodies.

She props her chin up on his chest and studies his sleeping face, touching his cheek with her fingertip. It’s funny how you spend so much time with someone that you assume you know everything about that person, never considering that there might be a lot you overlook. Somehow, staring at his face right now in its most raw and vulnerable state helps Soojung realize that over the past few months she’d sort of disregarded his sensitive side, so used to the brash, bluff exterior they both put up on the surface. She knew him more than she was willing to admit, and there were sides of him that she didn’t want to open her eyes to. Because she didn’t want to ruin their friendship? Didn’t want to change their friendship? Maybe.

But now, as she fits her head into the crook of his shoulder and he subconsciously tightens his arms around her waist, she wonders if this — whatever this is — would be the best thing to happen to their friendship. 

She thinks about the last time she’d fallen asleep with him, and how it had felt so wrong back then but now, it feels… okay. More than okay. Nice, even. Warm, comfortable. 

Soojung closes her eyes again and falls asleep to Jongin combing his fingers through her hair.

//

a/n. title taken from owl city's "if my heart was a house".

so, they finally resolve things! yay!! this chapter was sort of unedited b/c i've been trying to update every week and i haven't for the past couple of weeks so. yeah. i hope you like it regardless.